Archive for the ‘Weather Humor’ Category

Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: FIND or FINED or DEFINED or REFINED or CONFINED at the end of any one line (Submission Deadline: October 14, 2023)

Saturday, September 16th, 2023

It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.

I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using FIND or FINED or DEFINED or REFINED or CONFINED at the end of ANY ONE LINE. (A homonym or homophone not listed here may be used in lieu of the designated rhyme word.)

The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s the last contest’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)

Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to FEET, using any rhyme word. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best FOOT-related limerick.

And for a THIRD SEPARATE CHALLENGE, I’ve used a “Random Word Generator” to generate five random words. Your challenge is to use AT LEAST TWO of the Random Words anywhere in your limericks.

Here are the FIVE RANDOM WORDS for this contest:
FAINT, GLARE, CORRUPT, COMB, STREAM.

(You’re free to singularize/pluralize the designated random nouns and to change the tense of the designated random verbs. You can even turn adjectives in adverbs and vice versa. And you are NOT required to use any of them as rhyme words, as long as at least two of the words appear somewhere in your limericks.)

How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)

I’ll announce the winners on October 15, 2023, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you FOUR full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, October 14, 2023 at 4:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)

Here’s my FIND or FINED or DEFINED or REFINED or CONFINED-Rhyme Limerick:

Please don’t whine about being entwined
In indictments. You’ve caused your own bind.
In your quest for more wins,
You seem blind to your sins,
But you’ll soon be in prison confined.

And here’s my FOOT/FEET-Themed Limerick:

A bad snowstorm — we can’t use our wheels.
And my boots are a wreck, so the deal’s
That I’ll just have to wait
For the storm to abate.
Until then, I’ll be cooling my heels.

And here is my RANDOM WORD GENERATOR Limerick:

While I stood on a rather long line,
I felt shaky and faint — too much wine!
Plus the sun-glare was strong,
And I DID smoke that bong.
(I was otherwise perfectly fine.)

Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

The Weary Weatherman (Limerick)

Sunday, September 10th, 2023

Said a weatherman, weary and old,
“I’m bored with my job, truth be told.
I’d prefer to report
On the news or some sport;
About weather I blow hot and cold.”

Birding Gone Bad (Limerick)

Thursday, May 4th, 2023

I was birding alone in a park,
When it suddenly got rather dark;
Though the forecast was “clear,”
Rain and hail were now here.
This was NOT my idea of a lark.

(Happy “Bird Day” — May 4.)

Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: BEAR or BARE at the end of any one line (Submission Deadline: May 27, 2023)

Saturday, April 29th, 2023

It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.

I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using BEAR or BARE at the end of ANY ONE LINE. (A homonym or homophone not listed here may be used in lieu of the designated rhyme word.)

The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s the last contest’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)

Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to PREPARATION, using any rhyme word. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best PREPARATION-related limerick.

And for a THIRD SEPARATE CHALLENGE, I’ve used a “Random Word Generator” to generate five random words. Your challenge is to use AT LEAST TWO of the Random Words anywhere in your limericks.

Here are the FIVE RANDOM WORDS for this contest: RATING, BRAVE, BROAD, APPLE, QUARRELSOME.

(You’re free to singularize/pluralize the designated random nouns and to change the tense of the designated random verbs. You can even turn adjectives in adverbs and vice versa. And you are NOT required to use any of them as rhyme words, as long as at least two of the words appear somewhere in your limericks.)

How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)

I’ll announce the winners on May 28, 2023, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you FOUR full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, May 27, 2023 at 4:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)

Here’s my BEAR/BARE-Rhyme Limerick:

A generous fellow named Jack
Likes to give folks the shirt off his back.
But he doesn’t stop there;
He’ll undress until bare…
Which alas, got the poor man the sack.

And here’s my PREPARATION-Themed Limerick:

By now, we all know it’s essential
To prepare for a rainstorm torrential.
But at times, though we’re careful,
We end up despairful.
Never lowball a downpour’s potential!

And here is my RANDOM WORD GENERATOR Limerick:

A quarrelsome broad known as Maude
Would always refuse to applaud.
And no matter how great
A show was, she’d rate
It a “C,” then berate it as flawed.

Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

Cold Weather Blues (Limerick)

Friday, November 18th, 2022

In New York, winter’s hit prematurely.
(That’s a long way of saying it’s early.)
I’ve already grown weary
Of weather this dreary.
(I’m sorry for sounding so surly.)

Trashy Timing (Limerick)

Sunday, September 4th, 2022

We DID have a rainstorm today.
It poured for four minutes, I’d say;
It began as I dropped
Our trash curbside … then stopped
As I ended my short outdoors stay.

Still Bugged By Mosquitoes (Limerick)

Monday, July 11th, 2022

Wherever I go (or I’ve been)
Bugs attack me, ignoring my kin.
I scratch and I itch
And I can’t help but bitch…
Cuz mosquitoes get under my skin!

Update: August 20 is World Mosquito Day.

Yet Another Weather Complaint (Limerick)

Friday, March 25th, 2022

Dear spring, I am feeling abused,
And I’m NOT even slightly amused;
It’s late March, as you know.
Yet they’re mentioning snow.
So of laziness YOU stand accused.

Enough Already! (Limerick)

Thursday, March 10th, 2022

Today’s Accuweather Headline: “Powerful storm to bury interior Northeast under heavy snow”

Dear Spring, I’m sure hoping you’ll shove
Winter out of the way. No kid glove!
I’m impatient as hell
For a mild weather spell.
Signed Madeleine Kane, with much love.

Withered By Weather (Limerick)

Tuesday, March 8th, 2022

I wrote this yesterday (Monday) when NYC temps reached 67:

It is well over 60, and so
You might think spring’s arrived. Sorry! No!
With the outlook corrected,
A cold wave’s projected:
The forecast for Wednesday is “snow.”

Snow’s Afoot! (Limerick)

Thursday, January 27th, 2022

A Nor’easter is headed here soon.
With snow we are set to be strewn;
Twelve inches expected!
I’m feeling dejected,
As forecasters breathlessly swoon.

Windy Walk (Limerick)

Tuesday, January 25th, 2022

Disclaimer: No animals were harmed in the making of this limerick:

The wind is impressive today.
While walking, it’s hard not to sway.
By its force I’m bowled over,
And so is poor Rover.
Truth be told, we are both blown away.

Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: BOLD or BOWLED at the end of any one line (Submission Deadline: January 22, 2022 )

Saturday, January 8th, 2022

It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.

I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using BOLD or BOWLED at the end of any one line. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)

The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s last week’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)

Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to INJURIES, using any rhyme word. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best INJURY-related limerick.

How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)

I’ll announce the winners on January 23, 2022, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you two full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, January 22, 2022 at 4:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)

Here’s my BOLD or BOWLED-rhyme limerick:

“You are scantily clad, which is bold,
Cuz I’ve just been outside, and it’s cold.
Your dress seems designed
To freeze your behind,
So you’d best put that ‘hot’ garb on hold.”

And here’s my INJURY-themed limerick:

A young man hurled a tool and yelled, “Catch it.”
And his friend somehow managed to snatch it,
But he’s terribly mad;
He was injured. It’s bad!
No surprise, he won’t bury the hatchet.

Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

Evanescent Snow (Limerick)

Friday, December 24th, 2021

Just a smidgen of snow fell last night,
Leaving lawns, walks, and roads pristine white.
But their coating soon vanished,
As if it were banished.
By first light, snow took flight; none’s in sight.

Mid-Autumn Blues (Limerick)

Thursday, November 4th, 2021

It’s merely mid-Autumn and yet,
The chill in the air brings the threat
That winter is lurking
And soon will be working
To make us all shovel and sweat.

Snow Musings (Limerick)

Tuesday, January 26th, 2021

I looked out the window. Saw snow.
How severe is the forecast? Don’t know.
I’d prefer a short flurry.
But why should I worry?
With Covid, there’s nowhere to go.

Bound To Be Snowbound (Limerick)

Wednesday, December 16th, 2020

The snow in New York has begun.
We’ve been warned that the storm won’t be fun.
I’ve no forecasting skill;
My sci-knowledge is nil.
So my snowfall prediction? A ton!

Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: VEER or SEVERE or REVERE or PERSEVERE at the end of any one line (Submission Deadline: January 4, 2020)

Saturday, December 7th, 2019

It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.

I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using VEER or SEVERE or REVERE or PERSEVERE at the end of any one line. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)

The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s last week’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)

Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to SNOW, using any rhyme word. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best snow-related limerick.

How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)

I’ll announce the winners on January 5, 2020, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you four full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, January 4, 2020 at 10:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)

Here’s my VEER-rhyme limerick:

When you’re driving your car, please don’t veer;
Sudden moves tend to fill me with fear.
Steer carefully, please.
Ouch my elbow! My knees!
We’ve arrived? I’m still living? Hear, hear!

And here’s my SNOW-themed limerick:

The weatherman’s acting excited:
New York City’s about to be smited
With a snow storm real big,
Which I really don’t dig.
And just why must he look so delighted?

Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

Rain Whine (Limerick)

Thursday, June 20th, 2019

The weather’s been putrid this week
And it needs a lot more than a tweak.
It’s unbearably wet,
I’m covered in sweat,
And my sidewalk resembles a creek.

More Snow? Oh, Shove It! (Limerick)

Wednesday, March 21st, 2018

I’m just back from the front of our house,
Where the heavens continue to douse
Our brick steps and our walk.
Though at shov’ling I balk,
I heave snow-mountains — NOT that I’d grouse.