It’s “Asparagus Day.” I’m no fan,
Though of course I’m not pushing a ban.
Why’s “asparagus” tossed
Mid-line, where it’s lost?
I could NOT make it rhyme right or scan.
Posts Tagged ‘May Holidays’
Not Celebrating Asparagus (Limerick)
Tuesday, May 24th, 2022Defending The Limerick
Thursday, May 12th, 2022In honor of Limerick Day, I’ve written Defending The Limerick:
Some poets deem lim’ricks inferior,
Claiming THEIR kind of verse is superior.
I suspect they lack wit.
Can they rhyme? Not a bit!
I conclude they have motives ulterior.
Trust Me On This (Limerick)
Tuesday, May 10th, 2022Intuition’s a handy device
To ensure you think twice, maybe thrice
Before trusting a heel
With a spiel and a deal.
Heed that instinct, or reel from the price!
(Trust Your Intuition Day falls on May 10.)
This Limerick’s For The Birds
Wednesday, May 4th, 2022Saw a lovely red bird near an inn.
And that beautiful sight brought a grin
To my face, till the bird
Let loose with a turd
On my tresses — a cardinal sin!
“Bird Day,” celebrated May 4, is one of several bird-related holidays. Other bird holidays include:
National Bird Day (January 5)
Northern Parrots National Cockatiel Day (May 20)
World Parrot Day (May 31)
Aggrieved Roommate (Limericks)
Wednesday, January 5th, 2022“I’m sick of your cockatiel’s turds!
Plus it bit me again!” — angry words
From a roommate, unmuffled,
Whose feathers were ruffled.
“I’m moving. Your pet’s for the birds!”
*****
There are several bird-related holidays:
National Bird Day (January 5)
Northern Parrots National Cockatiel Day (May 20)
World Parrot Day (May 31)
Happy World Whiskey Day! (Limerick)
Saturday, May 18th, 2019Many people are prone to get frisky
The minute they guzzle some whiskey.
But it’s worse, you’ll agree,
When while off on a spree,
Their behavior’s (tsk-tsk) rather risky.
Happy World Whiskey Day! (3rd Saturday of May)
Thumbs Down On Plants? (Limerick)
Saturday, May 18th, 2019A fellow was planning to plant
Some fruit, but his wife said, “You can’t.
I hate to sound mean,
But your thumbs aren’t green;
Seems your nurturing talents are scant.”
May 18 is Fascination of Plants Day and May 19 is Plant Something Day.
About Edward Lear’s Last Lines (Limerick)
Sunday, May 12th, 2019Happy birthday Edward Lear and happy Limerick Day! But about those redundant Lear last lines:
This limerick lacks a good ending.
And please note that I’m sure not defending
Any Lear final line.
(Are they dull by design?)
This limerick lacks a good ending.
Piloting Careers (Limerick)
Saturday, May 11th, 2019Pilots know their career’s on the wane
When bosses respond with disdain
To suggestions they make,
And tell them to take
A long trip on a very slow train.
(National Train Day falls on the second Saturday of May.)
Yet Another World Rhino Day Limerick
Saturday, September 22nd, 2018There once was a newlywed rhino
Who discovered her mate was a wino.
“We’re endangered,” she’d curse.
“Your damn wine makes it worse!”
“White wine’s fine,” he replied. “I’m albino.”
(My first rhino limerick is here. It’s included in the International Poetry Anthology For Rhino in a Shrinking World.)
Happy World Rhino Day! (September 22)
Happy Brothers Day! (Limerick)
Tuesday, May 24th, 2016Oh brother! It’s Brothers Day. Wow!
I’ve got me a good one. And how!
With a heart off the chart
Arthur (now known as Art)
Is unrivaled. Please Art, take a bow.
Brothers Day (May 24) is actually meant to celebrate the bond between brothers. But since I missed Brother And Sister Day on March 26, and Siblings Day on April 10, this will have to do.
Asparagus Day? Why? (Limerick)
Tuesday, May 24th, 2016Asparagus doesn’t appeal to me,
And it guts what might be a good meal to me.
Brussels sprouts can be yummy.
With brocc’li I’m chummy.
But asparagus spears are “no deal” to me.
May 24 is Asparagus Day.
Happy “Be A Millionaire Day!” (Limerick)
Friday, May 20th, 2016For some with a wealth-building mission,
“Be A Millionaire Day’s” a tradition.
And today is the day;
Yes each 20th of May
They display their great LACK of ambition.
Limerick Ode To Golf
Wednesday, May 18th, 2016Since it’s Golf Day, I thought I’d address
My embarrassing lack of finesse
Playing golf; Any game
That requires an aim
Leaves me minimal chance of success.
Happy “Odometer Day!” (Limerick)
Thursday, May 12th, 2016An odometer’s great when I drive,
As I try to guess when we’ll arrive.
But I also get mileage
From lims — even smileage.
But no limming while driving — no jive!
May 12th is National Odometer Day.
Limerick Ode To The School Nurse
Wednesday, May 11th, 2016Gals remember your trusty school nurse?
You’d tell her, “I’m sick. It’s ‘the curse.’
I have to skip gym
And lie down. All my vim
Has vamoosed and the pain’s getting worse!”
(National School Nurse Day falls on the Wednesday of National Nurse Week, which is May 6 through May 12.)
In Intuition I Trust (Limerick)
Tuesday, May 10th, 2016“Intuition is something I trust,”
Said a gal when told trust is a must.
“I instinctively feel
That you’re surely a heel
Who would tempt me with feelings of lust.”
(Trust Your Intuition Day falls on May 10.)
Limerick Ode To Lost Sock Memorial Day
Monday, May 9th, 2016AWOL socks are a grim laundry given;
Former pairs inexplicably riven,
Dresser drawers oddly littered
With orphans, embittered
And wond’rin’ where old mates are livin’.
May 9 is National Lost Sock Memorial Day. And December 4 is National Sock Day.
Over-Excited About “No Pants Day?” Please Keep Your Pants On!
Friday, May 6th, 2016A man who was known for his rants
Was caught on the street with no pants.
He was standing half-nude
With a bellicose tude,
On par with his usual stance.
But he HAD a defense for his act
That accounts for the clothing he lacked;
The fellow’s fine mission
Was spur recognition —
“No Pants Day’s” today! That’s a fact.
Happy “No Pants Day!” (First Friday of May)
Happy Petite And Proud Day! (Limerick)
Wednesday, May 4th, 2016If you’re five-four or under, “petite”
Is what many will call you. Don’t cheat
And pretend to be taller;
Be proud that you’re smaller…
Then savor a thick booster seat.
May 4 is Petite And Proud Day.
And yes, at only five-zero, I’ve been known to use a “booster” provided by a Broadway Theater — the very same one used (according to an usher) by Peter Dinklage.
