Archive for the ‘Sleep & Insomnia Humor’ Category

Shedding Light On Insomnia (Limerick)

Thursday, March 5th, 2015

Shedding Light On Insomnia (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

The cause of insomnia nightly
Is my habit of growing more sprightly
As the day fades to night.
Though I find no delight
In the light, I in darkness burn brightly.

Limerick Laps (Limerick-Off Monday:

Saturday, September 13th, 2014

It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.

The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner.)

How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)

I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner next Sunday, right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday at 10:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)

I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:

A gal who could not resist laps…*

or

A fellow had staged a collapse …*

or

A fellow would often swim laps…*

or

My memory’s suffered a lapse…*

*(Please note that minor variations to my first lines are acceptable. However, rhyme words may not be altered, except by using homonyms or homophones.)

Here’s my limerick:

Limerick Laps
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A fellow would often swim laps
While asleep, in the midst of his naps.
This quirk irked his wife,
Concerned for his life,
So he plunged into sleep-pool and craps.

Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

Nightmare Limerick

Monday, February 17th, 2014

Nightmare Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane

I rarely remember my dreams,
Except those that go off to extremes,
Like last night’s — I was taken:
A hostage, till wakin’.
I should stop watching Homeland, it seems.

A Criminal Defense? (Limerick)

Wednesday, September 18th, 2013

This three-verse limerick is based on a real Texas criminal case: “Lawyer admits napping at trial, but rates his performance an 8 or a 9.”

A Criminal Defense? (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A man got a sentence immense,
Then complained of a sleepy defense:
“My defense lawyer slept
Which makes him inept,
So a do-over trial makes sense.”

His lawyer contested the claim:
“I am not for that sentence to blame.
I slept just a while
And I ran a good trial.
Even dozing, I’m right on my game.”

On this statement the lawyer won’t budge,
And he even is running for judge.
I suppose that he thinks
When he’s caught forty winks,
His court clerk will just give him a nudge.

Dueling Holidays (Limerick)

Monday, March 11th, 2013

After I posted a limerick celebrating “Worship Of Tools Day,” a Facebook Friend informed me that March 11th is also National Napping Day. So I must immediately correct this oversight:

Dueling Holidays (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

It’s holiday time on all fronts,
And I’m feeling a bit like a dunce:
Though I recognized Tool Day,
I missed Naps Are Cool Day.
Please don’t nap and use tools all at once.

Knotty Negotiations

Wednesday, November 28th, 2012

Wonder Wednesday, over at Poets United, prompts us to write a poem about bridges or bridging gaps. I decided to cross that bridge with a limerick:

Knotty Negotiations
By Madeleine Begun Kane

It’s a challenge to bridge the large gap
Between parties who’d rather just flap
And complain that they’re right,
While their rivals just fight
Cuz they’re mean. So I’d rather just nap.

Obsessive Limerick (Limerick-Off Monday)

Sunday, August 19th, 2012

It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.

The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner.)

How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)

I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse.

I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:

A fellow was very obsessed…*

or

A woman was very obsessed…*

*(Minor variations to my first lines are acceptable, but rhyme words may not be altered.)

Here’s my limerick:

Obsessive Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A fellow was very obsessed
With getting enough nightly rest.
His reason makes sense:
Lack of sleep made him tense
Which, alas, left him sexually hard-pressed.

Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

Embedded In Sleeplessness (Limerick)

Wednesday, June 27th, 2012

Embedded In Sleeplessness (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Insomnia blankets my night.
Slumber teases — declines to alight.
I toss and I turn
In my bed, as I yearn
For release from my sleep-deprived plight.

(Prompted by Theme Thursday’s “beds.”)

Limerick Invention

Thursday, May 10th, 2012

DVerse Poets asks us to wax poetic about machine dreams:

Limerick Invention
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A fellow invented an app
That fills a technology gap:
It gives you a pinch
If your boss starts to inch
Near your desk, while you’re taking a nap.

(You can find more of my technology humor here.)

UPDATE: February 28 is National Public Sleeping Day.

UPDATE 2: National Napping Day is the second Monday of March (the Monday after DST.)

Sleepless Limerick

Thursday, May 10th, 2012

At Think Tank Thursday (Poets United), we’re asked to write a news-related poem. Now since my other blog, Mad Kane’s Political Madness, is devoted to mocking politicians and other news-makers via limericks, I thought I’d try a different news angle here:

Sleepless Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A woman was trying to snooze,
But was kept wide awake by her muse.
Stubborn rhymes kept invading
Her brain and upbraiding
Her: “Rise and go mock some more news.”

A Poet’s Nightmare (Limerick)

Saturday, March 31st, 2012

DVerse prompts us to write about nightmares. Here’s my response:

A Poet’s Nightmare (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A gal had a frightening dream.
It featured her muse — made her scream:
Said her muse, “You must write
About terror tonight
And forever, cuz nightmare’s your theme.”

Sleep-Deprived Limerick

Wednesday, October 26th, 2011

Sleep-Deprived Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane

An inventor was trying to nap,
But snoozing just wasn’t on tap.
His constant fixation
With tech innovation
Required a sleep-prompting app.

(Author’s Note: I’m not an inventor, but I’m a life-long insomniac who could use such an application.)

Sleepy Haiku

Wednesday, August 24th, 2011

I lie in my bed,
coaxing my brain to adapt
and glide into sleep.

*****

Insomnia strikes
when I’m at my most weary—
tired irony.

*****

My lullaby verse—
I knew I should write it down—
now it’s lost to sleep.

*****

My thoughts skip around
like out-of-control children—
scaring sleep away.

*****

You can read my How To Become An Insomniac (Humorous How-To) here.

(My first haiku was inspired by Three Word Wednesday’s “adapt, glide, lie” prompt. My second haiku was inspired by Sensational Haiku Wednesday’s “weary” prompt.

Update: Happy Festival Of Sleep Day!

View my insomnia haiku image here.

One Headache of an Acrostic Limerick

Tuesday, August 2nd, 2011

As I’ve mentioned before, I enjoy the challenge of writing acrostic limericks. But I found the latest acrostic limerick prompt from Acrostic Only to be tougher than usual. Here’s what I came up with:

One Headache of an Acrostic Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Pleasant dreams are quite hard to secure
On nights when you have to endure
Unspeakable noise:
Next door neighbors with boys,
Deaf’ning dogs, and the parents on tour.

Sheet Musing

Monday, May 16th, 2011

Sheet Musing
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Both my legs travel down the fresh sheet.
It feels cool to the touch, tight, and neat.
Now fully stretched out
They relax and then … doubt.
A rough tear has assaulted my feet.

(Inspired by this prompt to write about texture and an over-priced, lousy sheet.)

Itching For Another Acrostic Limerick

Friday, April 8th, 2011

After my first fun foray into acrostic limericks, I just had to try another:

Itching For Another Acrostic Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Bemoaning his itchy, red bites,
Undone by his sleep-deprived nights,
Gerard said, “No more!
Going out to the store.
You mosquitoes have earned your last rites.”

(More bug related poems here.)

Update: A case of insect revenge? Right after posting this, I noticed that my left foot was itchy and discovered my first mosquito bite of the season.

Update: August 20 is World Mosquito Day.

Limerick Ode To Daylight Saving Time

Saturday, March 12th, 2011

Limerick Ode To Daylight Saving Time
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Our clocks all need changing tonight.
Daylight Saving Time — oh what a blight!
We may think it a crock,
But must alter each clock
Till the powers that be see the light.

(More DST humor here.)

Jittery Limerick Limerick Audio

Sunday, December 5th, 2010

Once again, it’s Limerick-Off time. I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:

A jittery fellow named Fred…

Here’s mine. (It’s a three-verse limerick, but a standard one-verse limerick is fine, of course.)

Jittery Limerick (Jittery Limerick Audio)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A jittery fellow named Fred
Had problems with sleeping in bed.
He could sleep on a chair
Or a stool — anywhere
But in bed, where things came to a head.

He was haunted in bed by his fears,
Whether sober or after some beers.
He would worry and fret—
Could not snooze on a bet.
And that’s how he lived for ten years.

But then podcasts came into his life.
(He’d heard about them from his wife.)
The discussions and talk
Made sad thoughts take a walk.
Now he slumbers in bed without strife.

Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity in my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please send me an email requesting the alerts. You’ll find my email address on the upper right sidebar, right above my photo. Thanks!

Save Me From Daylight Savings Time

Sunday, March 14th, 2010

Are you as sick as I am of our twice-yearly clock-adjustment ritual? Do you think, as I do, that we have more than enough daylight and that there’s no need to save any?

I’m sorry, but my internal clock is sufficiently confused and doesn’t need Daylight Savings Time to make my chronic insomnia even worse. And I’m inclined to clock the next person who reminds me to change my damn clocks.

Save Me From Daylight Savings Time (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

My natural clock is a mess.
Just thinking of sleep gives me stress.
Spring forward—fall back
Makes me more out of whack.
So I don’t change my clocks — I just guess.

(More DST humor here.)

Quick Story & Other Verse (Limerick & Haiku Prompt)

Friday, June 13th, 2008

Today’s limerick, haiku, and senryu theme is furniture and furnishings. First, my limerick:

Quick Story
By Madeleine Begun Kane

“Quick story,” my husband declares.
“It’s short — I’m not kidding,” he swears.
But I know that he’s wrong.
He’ll be witty, but long.
How I wish I could find us some chairs.

And now two haiku (senryu):

Dad climbs into bed.
His poodle growls in protest.
Their turf war begins.

Sixty-year-old chair,
still covered in plastic,
protected from life.

Now, of course, it’s your turn. Your assignment, should you choose to accept it, is to write some verse about furniture and furnishings. When you’ve posted your poem(s), please return here and add a direct link to your themed poetry, using Mr. Linky. There’s no rush, by the way, because you have a whole week to post it.

(Note: My poems were inspired by these three prompts: “being told a story,” “pets,” and “father / find.”)

Limerick and Haiku Prompts Participants

     

1. SandyCarlson
2. Connie
3. Patricia (a/k/a Roswila)
4. Jade
5. Linda – Nickers and Ink
6. Noah the Great
7. Noah the Great
8. Bevie
9. Crafty Green poet
10. art predator

UPDATE: Mr. Linky is now closed, but you can still add links to your furniture and furnishings verse in the Comments. And if you’d like to participate in a new poetry prompt, you can always find my latest one here.

UPDATE 2: World Storytelling Day falls on the spring equinox in the northern hemisphere.