Posts Tagged ‘Swimming Humor’

UPDATE: NEW SUBMISSION DEADLINE – December 7, 2019 – Due to Illness. Sorry! Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: POOL at the end of any one line

Saturday, November 9th, 2019

UPDATE: NEW SUBMISSION DEADLINE — December 7, 2019 — Due to Illness. Sorry!

It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.

I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using POOL at the end of any one line. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)

The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s last week’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)

Additionally, you may write PRESS-themed limericks using any rhyme word. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best Press-related limerick.

How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)

I’ll announce the winners on December 8, 2019, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you two full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your updated submission deadline is Saturday, December 7, 2019 at 10:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)

Here’s my POOL-rhyme limerick:

I would rather not swim in a pool,
Or anywhere else, as a rule.
My strokes are so weak,
I’d be left up shit creek;
In hot water sans paddling tool.

And here’s my PRESS-themed limerick:

A woman who craved reinvention,
Was desp’rate for media mention.
She tried singing and dancing
And press-guy-romancing.
But the upshot was penal detention.

Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

Birthday Misadventure (3-verse Limerick)

Thursday, April 6th, 2017

This is how my brother Arthur’s birthday began today, translated by me into a 3-verse limerick:

Loud sounds woke you up with a fright.
Did a drummer come visit at night?
Seems your exercise pool
Somehow drained. A mere drool
Of water is left. What a sight!

Even worse, it has emptied indoors,
And that noise is your pump at its chores.
Now you MUST figure out
How to stop it without
A bad shock. When it rains, it sure pours.

I’m so sorry your birthday began
In a manner you never would plan.
Happy birthday, dear bro!
I wrote this to show
There’s a way to make home mishaps scan.

Happy birthday, Arthur!

Beach Day (Limerick)

Tuesday, August 30th, 2016

Lying down on the sand to get tanned
Is a pastime I NEVER have planned.
And my swim skills are grim,
Way too hard on my vim.
But long walks on non-beach-land are grand.

Happy National Beach Day! (Aug. 30)

Happy Birthday, Bikini (Limerick)

Tuesday, July 5th, 2016

Today’s the bikini’s 70th birthday. So happy World Bikini Day!

I’ve never dared don a bikini;
They’re too skimpily small — teeny-weenie.
Call me shy if you must,
But I simply don’t lust
After beachwear that’s dwarfed by a beanie.

Limerick Laps (Limerick-Off Monday:

Saturday, September 13th, 2014

It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.

The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner.)

How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)

I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner next Sunday, right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday at 10:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)

I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:

A gal who could not resist laps…*

or

A fellow had staged a collapse …*

or

A fellow would often swim laps…*

or

My memory’s suffered a lapse…*

*(Please note that minor variations to my first lines are acceptable. However, rhyme words may not be altered, except by using homonyms or homophones.)

Here’s my limerick:

Limerick Laps
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A fellow would often swim laps
While asleep, in the midst of his naps.
This quirk irked his wife,
Concerned for his life,
So he plunged into sleep-pool and craps.

Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

Flashy Limerick (Limerick-Off Monday)

Sunday, July 29th, 2012

It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.

The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner.)

How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)

I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse.

I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:

A man who was known for his flash…*

or

A gal who was known for her flash…*

*(Minor variations to my first lines are acceptable, but rhyme words may not be altered.)

Here’s my limerick:

Flashy Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A man who was known for his flash
Wore only a violet sash.
He fell into a pool,
Soaked his blue-purple tulle—
Seems his outfit made rather a splash.

Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

Swimming In Verse

Thursday, April 8th, 2010

Jesse Levy, a Facebook pal of mine who participates in my Limerick-Offs, has challenged me and fellow Facebook friends to write a limerick starting with this line:

There once was a swimmer named Dean.

I love a good challenge, so I wrote this three-verse limerick in response:

There once was a swimmer named Dean.
He was swift and his breast stroke was mean.
When he raced he would win.
He thought losing a sin.
The guy was a swimming machine.

When he finally lost, he freaked out
And suffered a confidence drought —
Could not handle defeat.
He determined to beat
Up the fellow who won his last bout.

Poor Dean does not swim anymore.
He’s in prison, according to lore,
For killing that swimmer.
His weapon? Hedge trimmer.
Yes, that’s how he settled his score.

Vacation Verse (Limerick & Haiku Prompt — through July 31st)

Monday, July 21st, 2008

Sorry for the delay, but though my cast is finally off, I’m still having wrist problems.

Today’s limerick, haiku, and senryu theme is vacations. First, my limerick, which was inspired by my husband Mark:

Vacation Verse
By Madeleine Begun Kane

My husband is swimming outdoors.
I expect he’ll be back when it pours,
Which it threatens to do
Ev’ry day, so he’s blue.
Yes, vacations are rain guarantors.

And now my haiku (senryu):

I’m on vacation,
Yet here I am writing verse.
Give it a rest, brain.

Now, of course, it’s your turn. Your assignment, should you choose to accept it, is to write some verse about vacations. When you’ve posted your poem(s), please return here and add a direct link to your themed poetry, using Mr. Linky. There’s no rush, by the way, because you have until August 1st to post it.

Limerick and Haiku Prompts Participants

1. Noah
2. Noah
3. Granny Smith
4. Bev
5. Bev
6. Shark Girl
7. Michelle
8. Linda – Nickers and Ink
9. The Mane Point
10. Beaman’s World
11. MomCat
12. Random Short Stories
13. Mrs. Brownstone @ XBOX Wife

UPDATE: Mr. Linky is now closed, but you can still add links to your vacation-related verse in the Comments. And if you’d like to participate in a new poetry prompt, you can always find my latest one here.