MAD KANE’S HUMOR BLOG

Ode To An Earthquake (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

It’s ‘71.  I awake
In LA to a 6.6 quake.
I feel nothing but terror
And curse out my error
In moving here. What a mistake!

Note: I graduated from Cal Arts in 1971.  Great school, but I could definitely have done without that  terrifying earthquake.

(You can find more quake verse here.)

Technorati Tags: Earthquake Humor, Natural Disasters, Quake Verse, Cal Arts Limerick, California Institute Of The Arts, Los Angeles Poem, LA Poetry

Today’s limerick and haiku theme is time. First, my limerick:

No Time To Say Hello, Goodbye…
By Madeleine Begun Kane

I’m late and I can’t miss this train!
It’s arrived, and I’m here, yet in vain:
I must climb down these stairs,
But some guys, broad as bears,
Have me blocked—all my plans down the drain.

And now it’s time for my time-related haiku:

Time passes too fast.
I’d surely bitch about it,
If I just had time.

And now it’s your turn. Your assignment, should you choose to accept it, is to write a limerick or haiku (or both) about time. When you’ve posted your verse, please return here and add a direct link to your themed poetry, using Mr. Linky. 

(If you need some tips on limerick or haiku writing, I link to some helpful sites here.)

UPDATE: Mr. Linky is now closed, but you can still add links to your time-themed verse in the Comments.

Technorati Tags: Poetry Prompts, Time Pressures, Train Travel, Commuting Humor

Ev’ning argument.
Sleepless night, anger unchecked.
Early morning frost.

(Probably not the sort of frost this prompt has in mind.)

Note: There’s still time to participate in my latest haiku and limerick prompt.

Technorati Tags: Argument Haiku, Anger Haiku, Frost

This week’s 3 Word Wednesday words are Care, Unexpected, and Weekend. Somehow they eventually managed to fit inside a limerick:

Possibly Good, Albeit Annoying Advice (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Ev’ry weekend take time to forget
All your worries and cares and your debt.
Please don’t aim for perfected.
Embrace unexpected.
Try yoga. Play Set. Buy a pet.

Technorati Tags: Advice Humor, Anxiety Humor

I love a good challenge, and Tricia at Miss Rumphius has provided a tough one: Write a poem that begins with one of five preexisting lines. I’ve written both a limerick and a four-liner, altering the limerick’s first line a bit so it conforms to limerick rhythm rules.

Here’s my limerick:

Time Travel
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Please stop all the clocks.  Cut the phone.
Pull the plug on each ‘puter you own.
Ain’t the silence sublime
As you go back in time?
With your thoughts you’re at last all alone.

And here’s my four-liner:

I wandered lonely as a cloud,
While wondering why I felt so cowed
By life, while others lived unbowed.
Must be  like them, I vowed, aloud.

Technorati Tags: Time Travel, Technology Limerick, Mind & Spirit

I dedicate this to everyone’s who’s ever been driven mad by a website or blog outage:

Web Withdrawal Woes (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

This outage has led me to think
I’ve gone bonkers, berserk—need a shrink.
I keep checking the site.
It’s still down—what a plight!
Web withdrawal may drive me to drink.

Technorati Tags: Net Humor, Web Humor, Site Outage Poem, Web Withdrawal, Techie Humor, Addiction Humor, Web Addict, Net Addict, Technology Verse, Computers, Psychology Humor, Internet Limerick

Website owners, webmasters, and people who specialize in search engine optimization (SEO) and search engine marketing (SEM) tend to be an obsessive bunch, perpetually checking stats  in their quest for better numbers. What do improved numbers mean?  In theory, they beget better placement in search engine results pages (SERPS), more sales, and higher ad rates.

This obsession tends to reach a frenzied peak roughly four times a year, when Google’s Toolbar is updated, and you learn if your latest PageRank has risen or (heaven forbid) dropped. And while some may claim that they don’t care about PageRank, nobody believes them.

In honor of Google PageRank update season, which apparently is upon us, I’ve written this limerick:

Ode To The Google PageRank Obsession
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Google PageRank obsession is back,
‘Cause an update is due, which we track.
Have our efforts paid off?
Although many will scoff,
We need proof that we’re leading the pack.

Here are some tools and an informative article for the Google PageRank obsessed: Search Engine Marketing Tools, PageRank Checker, Google PageRank Prediction, Google Pagerank prediction tool, Live PageRank, Dig PageRank, and Google PageRank: What Do We Really Know About it?

(You can find more of my computer and technology humor and limericks here, including my song parody Webmaster’s SEO Complaint.)

Technorati Tags: Google Humor, PageRank Satire, Google Limerick, PR Update Humor, Webmaster Humor, Rank Obsession, SEO Humor, SEM Humor, SERPS, Search Engine Limerick, Net Humor, Web Humor

Pity The Poor Lawyer
By Madeleine Begun Kane

“Your billable hours are low,”
Said the partner. “They simply must grow.
It behooves you to hike them
Or better, please spike them.
To lunch breaks and sleep, just say no!”

(This is but one of many reasons why I’m a “recovering lawyer.” You can find more of my law humor here.)

Technorati Tags: Lawyer Limerick, Billable Hours, Law Partner, Lunch Breaks, Sleep Humor, Slavedriver Law Firms, Legal Humour, Work Satire, Workplace Limerick

A Modest Dating Proposal For Anxious Guys  (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Introducing your gal to your mom?
Are you worried your intro will bomb?
Well here’s some advice
So the meeting goes nice:
First tell her your date’s name is Tom.

Technorati Tags: Dating, Moms, Mothers, Parents, Parenting, Dates, Introductions, Meetings, Gender Issues, Modest Proposal

I’ve been out of school for far longer than I care to admit.  But I still have nightmares that go something like this:

School Daze (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

I crammed for the test—studied madly.
But, alas, I’m afraid I did badly
Cause I choke under stress.
I go blank. I’m a mess!
Take a do-over test? Yes, please. Gladly!

Technorati Tags: Education Humor, School Humor, Tests, Exams, Examinations, Stress Humor, Anxiety Humor, Blank Memory, Mind Freeze