A limerick in honor of National Saxophone Day:
A fellow was feeling distressed;
He was restless and NOT at his best.
So he pulled out his axe
And at midnight played sax.
As house-guests go, THAT guy’s a pest!
Archive for the ‘Anxiety & Stress’ Category
Sax Day Blues
Sunday, November 6th, 2022Here We Go Again With The Clocks (Haiku)
Saturday, November 5th, 2022
Dumping Grounds (Limerick)
Monday, May 16th, 2022“I’ve a virulent case of the grumps:
When I tried to discard some old pumps,
I got in a clash
Over throwing out trash,
Which explains why I’m down in the dumps.”
More Idiom Madness (Limerick)
Monday, March 21st, 2022This is what happens when I play with idioms:
“Your home sale is under suspension,”
Read the notice, provoking dissension.
“Human bones have been found
In your yard, underground,
And those bones are the bone of contention.”
Please Don’t Tease Us (Limerick)
Monday, January 24th, 2022Some say Omicron cases are peaking.
Do they know that of which they are speaking?
We are all on the ropes,
So don’t lift up our hopes
Just to dash them again … cuz we’re freaking!
“Stress Awareness Day?” Who Needs It? (Limerick) (1st Wednesday of November)
Wednesday, November 3rd, 2021“International Stress Awareness Day” is stressing me out:
Some holidays ought not exist;
“Stress Awareness Day’s” high my list.
Since I’m frequently stressed,
“Bewareness” is best.
So forget that damn day! I insist!
On The Ropes (Limerick)
Monday, August 9th, 2021Sometimes, when my limerick inspiration is “on the ropes,” I’ll start with a random idiom. (In this case, my initial first line involved a “clothing boutique.” But when I thought of the last line, I changed the type of store for obvious reasons.)
With her laundromat shop on the ropes,
She was suff’ring a case of the mopes.
How she yearned to earn more!
And the plight of her store
Had reduced her to watching the soaps.
Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: SINK or SYNC at the end of any one line (Submission Deadline: June 20, 2020 at 4 p.m. Eastern)
Saturday, June 6th, 2020It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using SINK or SYNC at the end of any one line. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)
The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s last week’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)
Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to PUNCTUATION, using any rhyme word. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best PUNCTUATION-related limerick.
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the winners on June 21, 2020, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you two full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, June 20, 2020 at 4 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
Here’s my SINK/SYNC-rhyme limerick:
I’m teetering right on the brink,
And it feels like my life’s out of sync.
I’m off of my feed.
So what do I need?
A shrink? Or another stiff drink?
And here’s my PUNCTUATION-themed limerick:
“You’ve a problem: You drink too much, pop.”
That comma’s essential – full stop!
Cuz without it the drinker
Is any old stinker…
And the bev’rage? Non-alcohol slop.
Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: DATE or SEDATE at the end of any one line
Saturday, August 4th, 2018It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using DATE or SEDATE at the end of any one line. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)
The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s last week’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)
Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to AFFAIRS, using any rhyme word. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best AFFAIRS-related limerick.
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the winners on August 19, 2018 right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you two full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, August 18, 2018 at 10:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
Here’s my limerick:
I’ve some traits that refuse to abate.
For instance, I’m far from sedate;
Never calm, nor unhurried,
I’m rarely unworried.
Want evidence? Check with my mate.
Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: GAME at the end of any one line
Saturday, November 25th, 2017It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using GAME at the end of any one line. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)
The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s last week’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)
Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to COWARDICE, using any rhyme scheme. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best COWARDICE-related limerick.
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the winners on December 10, 2017, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you two full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, December 9, 2017 at 10:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
Here’s my limerick:
Relaxation’s your aim? Play a game!
You say Sorry’s “too tame?” Scrabble’s “lame?”
Check out Uno, chess, gin.
Try for fun; not to win.
You flame out? Don’t go blaming this dame!
Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: HOARD, HORDE, or WHORED at the end of any one line
Sunday, October 29th, 2017It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using HOARD, HORDE, or WHORED at the end of any one line. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)
The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s last week’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)
Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to CHAOS, using any rhyme scheme. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best CHAOS-related limerick.
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the winners on November 12, 2017, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you two full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, November 11, 2017 at 10:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
Here’s my limerick:
I return from the shore, all restored,
Feeling mellow, no longer unmoored.
Store my oars in the shed,
Long for bed, but instead,
I check texts (I’m well-bred) from the horde.
Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
International Panic Day? Why??? (Limerick)
Saturday, June 18th, 2016For some inexplicable reason, we celebrate International Panic Day today. (June 18)
The concept of Panic Day’s weird;
It’s redundant for me to be steered
Toward something organic.
My panic is manic…
And for doing it daily, I’m geared.
Choice Viewing (Limerick)
Tuesday, August 4th, 2015Choice Viewing (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
What with networks and Netflix and cable
And Hulu and Amazon’s stable
Of shows to be seen,
I’m too wired to screen;
Feeling feeble, can’t pick — kindly table.
Happy “Stress Awareness Day!” (April 16)
Thursday, April 16th, 2015I’m sensing the usual stress–
Nothing more, but alas, nothing less.
“Stress Awareness Day’s” here–
Not a day that I’d cheer.
Screw “awareness!” I’d rather repress.
Hiding In Verse (Limerick)
Tuesday, January 6th, 2015Hiding In Verse (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A fellow was trying to hide
From problems he could not abide.
So he tossed off some verse,
Which made things far worse…
For his muse wasn’t taking his side.
May I Panic Yet? (Limerick)
Tuesday, October 21st, 2014May I Panic Yet? (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
I’m trying quite hard not to panic,
But poll trends are making me manic.
Prospects never looked great,
And it seems now that fate
Has ensnared us inside the Titanic.
Limerick Dry Run (The Evolution of a Limerick)
Thursday, November 14th, 2013When I’m looking for limerick ideas, I sometimes visit idiom list sites, like this one. Then I’ll select an idiom that might work meter-wise and that ends with a common rhyme sound.
And so today, I challenged myself to write a limerick that contains the phrase “dry run.” Unconsciously inspired, perhaps, by the inept roll-out of Obamacare, I wrote these two lines:
A software firm held a dry run
But the coding, alas, wasn’t done…
I swiftly thought up an acceptable “B-rhyme,” but then got stuck at line 5. The best I could come up with was an ending that employed yet another idiom: “under the gun.” But I still couldn’t think of a line 5 that was even slightly clever.
And then I got an idea: create some wordplay by revising another line, adding specificity to the subject matter. Here’s the result:
Limerick Dry Run
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A software firm held a dry run,
But the arms-tracking code wasn’t done.
It failed test after test,
Till the owner confessed:
“I’m too stressed to work under the gun.”
A Spa To Hiss (Limerick)
Wednesday, October 30th, 2013If being wrapped in pythons would enhance your massage experience, do I have a spa for you! Get yourself right over to the Bali Heritage Reflexology and Spa in Jakarta, Indonesia, which claims that snake-draping combats stress.
A Spa To Hiss (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Oh joy! Here’s a spa to avoid:
When massaging you, snakes are deployed.
Yes, they drape you in snakes,
Claiming fear aids your aches.
You feel great … right until you’re destroyed.
Limerick Ode To Information Overload
Monday, October 21st, 2013Happy Information Overload Day! (October 20, 2015)
Limerick Ode To Information Overload (3-Verse Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Too much data is haunting my dreams–
Excess info and too many memes.
Overloaded with news,
My brain has the blues:
“I’m cluttered with tidbits,” it screams.
So what’s the solution pray tell
That will free me from info-stress hell?
Turn off ev’ry machine
And device? That sounds mean
And quite limiting. Not a good sell!
Is there anything else I can do?
I suppose I could hide in the loo.
But alas and alack,
That room has a stack
Of old weeklies — a factoid fondue.
***
Update: The first Friday of March is the National Day of Unplugging.
In Praise Of Frustration (Limerick)
Monday, May 13th, 2013In Praise Of Frustration (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
My muse is unleashed by frustration
And foiled by excessive elation.
When I’m irked or irate
I’m more prone to create,
While repose sends my muse on vacation.
(DVerse Poets wants to know what inspires our writing.)
