Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: SINK or SYNC at the end of any one line (Submission Deadline: June 20, 2020 at 4 p.m. Eastern)

It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.

I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using SINK or SYNC at the end of any one line. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)

The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s last week’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)

Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to PUNCTUATION, using any rhyme word. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best PUNCTUATION-related limerick.

How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)

I’ll announce the winners on June 21, 2020, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you two full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, June 20, 2020 at 4 p.m. (Eastern Time.)

Here’s my SINK/SYNC-rhyme limerick:

I’m teetering right on the brink,
And it feels like my life’s out of sync.
I’m off of my feed.
So what do I need?
A shrink? Or another stiff drink?

And here’s my PUNCTUATION-themed limerick:

“You’ve a problem: You drink too much, pop.”
That comma’s essential – full stop!
Cuz without it the drinker
Is any old stinker…
And the bev’rage? Non-alcohol slop.

Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

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97 Responses to “Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: SINK or SYNC at the end of any one line (Submission Deadline: June 20, 2020 at 4 p.m. Eastern)”

  1. Lisi Nortman says:

    It’s “it’s” when you mean that “it is”.
    It’s “its” when it’s hers or it’s his.
    So remember your “its”,
    and rely on your wits.
    (Also, “it’s” means the same thing as “tis”).

  2. Lisi Nortman says:

    My mom felt her life had been “stolen”.
    Cuz her belly has always been “swollen”.
    Then “Doc” gave the news.
    It sure gave her the blues,
    when he said, “You’ve a bruised semi-colon”.

  3. Lisi Nortman says:

    Are you’s going to Janes Clothe’s today.
    They have such and exciting array?
    All the skirt’s are: half’s price-
    “And the dresse’s are nice”
    I wish I could stay -/ there all’s day?

  4. Sjaan VandenBroeder says:

    Punctuations not something I care for
    especially the why and the wherefore
    its rules keep me vexed
    it slows down my text
    therefore Ill just ask whats it there for

  5. Steve Whitred says:

    I painted the powder room pink
    So it’s smaller, a little, I think
    Cuz the tub doesn’t fit
    In the room where I sit
    And I now have to bathe in the sink

  6. Brian Allgar says:

    How low can the President sink?
    Is there nothing from which he will shrink?
    All his statements are lies;
    That includes (no surprise!)
    Any sentence beginning “I think …”

  7. Brian Allgar says:

    Trump’s controllers will have to re-think;
    Their computer has gone “on the blink”.
    They can get him to walk,
    But the button marked “talk”
    Causes lip movements quite out of sync.

  8. Tony Holmes says:

    “If your fortunes have started to sink,
    Then take heart, I’ve discovered the link.
    Stick with women and song –
    You’ll live happy and long –
    But abandon all hope if you drink.”

  9. Sjaan VandenBroeder says:

    As Joe’s poll numbers rise and Don’s sink,
    party pundits are asked what they think:
    “So, is tear gas the haze
    ’round the White House these days,
    or is Trump inside making a stink?”

  10. Tim James says:

    The apostrophes often abused;
    Lot’s of people dont know how its used.
    They cant grasp, though they try,
    All the rule’s that apply.
    There are time’s even I get confused.

  11. Lisi Nortman says:

    Baby Apostrophes

    “This happened to me in the past!
    And “Doc”, I am simply aghast!
    I won’t and I shouldn’t!
    I can’t and I wouldn’t!
    These contractions are coming too fast!!”

  12. Tony Holmes says:

    You can make a good point with a dash;
    Gives your writing that something – panache!
    But beware of abuse –
    Be judicious in use –
    Thus avoiding dismissal as, “Brash!”

  13. Kirk Miller says:

    For a woman to write with appeal,
    Punctuation’s what’s needed, I feel.
    When she talks, she will say,
    “Miss a comma, okay.
    Miss a period? That’s a big deal!”

  14. Tony Holmes says:

    The apostrophe, often misused,
    Keep’s grammarian pedants’ amused.
    Let them grumble and groan,
    In that world all their own,
    While we aberrate till its diffused.

  15. Lisi Nortman says:

    My students were all on the brink
    Till I drummed in their heads, “You must think!
    Semicolon’s a breeze
    You can spot it with ease
    It’s a period with a cute wink”

  16. Lisi Nortman says:

    second version, using sync and punctuation (double)

    My students were just not in sync!
    Till I drummed in their heads, “You must think!
    Semicolon’s a breeze;
    You can spot it with ease
    It’s a period with a cute wink”

  17. Lisi Nortman says:

    Punctuation

    The Kane’s took a walk in the park.
    Mad shrieked, “Wow! that dog sure can bark”!
    “Hubby” said, “It’s a deer
    You are wrong; can’t you hear?”
    (Mad knows she should not question Mark.)

  18. As Trump’s ratings started to sink,
    all he could do was add on more stink.
    With a country in tatters,
    he screamed “All Lives Matter!”
    and the door to his bunker went clink!

  19. Lisi Nortman says:

    Punctuation has so many flaws
    With all its restrictions and “laws”
    Yet the one that I bless
    Which relieves all my stress
    Is the comma; it gives me some pause.

  20. Steve Whitred says:

    Exclamations are always emphatic
    While commas are clearly erratic
    But I would contend
    ”Put a dot at the end
    Of each sentence” is undemocratic

  21. Lisi Nortman says:

    Punctuation’s important, although
    There are times one has got to “let go”
    And write something with style
    And know all the while
    Punctuation won’t hinder your flow

  22. Lisi Nortman says:

    makes more sense: “WILL” not won’t”

    Punctuation’s important, although
    There are times one has got to “let go”
    And write something with style
    Knowing all of the while
    Punctuation will hinder their flow.

  23. Tim James says:

    His boat is now deep in the drink.
    How’d it happen? He started to link
    The computer on board
    With his cell phone. “Good lord!”
    He cried out as he watched the boat sync.

  24. Sjaan VandenBroeder says:

    Beware the insidious dash —
    it’s worse than that tag known as “hash” —
    so be careful, don’t revel
    in this mark of the devil —
    it might lead to — that’s right! — and/or slash!

  25. Sjaan VandenBroeder says:

    Semi colons, I think, are intended
    for a thought, if it’s split, to be mended;
    but I must say “Amen!”
    to the semi paren
    (which keeps discourse like this open-ended

  26. Tony Holmes says:

    “Punctuation? I can’t see the point!
    Oh, beg pardon – your nose out of joint?
    Marks for pauses and stops –
    They’re the lazy man’s props;
    In the uncial days … take my point?”

  27. Steve Frakt says:

    The lovers were on disaster’s brink
    Couldn’t get their climaxes to synch
    One fast, one slow
    No quid pro quo
    Next stop the sex therapist shrink

  28. Steve Frakt says:

    I’m in love with the ampersand
    It’s much more good looking than “and”
    It curves with such grace
    And also saves space
    When typing with only one hand

  29. Lisi Nortman says:

    Donald Trump said, “Let’s all stop and think:
    No longer does this country stink.
    With my unyielding drive
    I have proven that I’ve
    Transformed cities to ships that all sink”

  30. Lisi Nortman says:

    second version:

    Donald Trump said, “Let’s all stop and think:
    No longer are we on the brink
    Of a crisis, cuz I’ve
    With my unyielding drive
    Transformed cities to ships that all sink”

  31. Lisi Nortman says:

    I have Haviland dishes in pink
    And twelve matching bowls, (come to think)
    Someday, I will use’em
    Don’t wanna abuse’em
    Cuz I’m still eating over the sink

  32. Lisi Nortman says:

    Parentheses give me a scare!
    They are harmful; you must be aware!
    (Their harm is within!)
    They will force you to sin
    They’re the hats that the devils all wear!

  33. Roger Haugen says:

    His brain was so far out of sync,
    He could barely reason or thync;
    But gave it a try
    With a bottle of Rye,
    And poured out another stiff drync.

  34. Sjaan VandenBroeder says:

    As the happy face sun starts to sink,
    and the silly sky looks tickled pink,
    and I rip off my bra,
    as I sing “Kumbaya” —
    are these signs I should lay off the drink?

  35. Lisi Nortman says:

    2 limericks up RHYMING ERROR!! try again

    Parentheses give me a scare!
    And a reason to feel great despair!
    Their (harm is within)
    They will force you to sin
    They’re the hats that the devils all wear!

  36. Sjaan VandenBroeder says:

    My machines grow increasingly clever,
    well equipped for most any endeavor.
    Some will talk, some just think —
    either way, they’re in sync,
    and have no use for me whatsoever.

  37. Lisi Nortman says:

    Parentheses make it real clear
    That they promise to not interfere
    With the principle part
    Of your literate art
    (So enter the punchline right here)

  38. Lisi Nortman says:

    My teacher said, “I have no use
    For the limericks that you produce”
    Then he forced me to stoop!!!!
    To a weird support group!!!:
    “Exclamation Point’s Dreadful Abuse!!!!”

  39. Lisi Nortman says:

    Another Way Of Putting It:

    Parentheses make it real clear
    That they promise to not interfere
    With the principle part
    Of your literate art
    (Thus,the punchline’s supposed to go here)

  40. Steve Frakt says:

    I truly love using the ampersand
    It’s so much more useful than writing “and”
    It curves with such grace
    & also saves space
    When texting or writing In Twitter land

  41. Lisi Nortman says:

    It is hard to know just where to place
    Those ellipses, so here is the case:
    Remember this well
    And you sure will excel
    They are for dot dot dot saving space

  42. Tim James says:

    News item: NYC Health Dept. urges New Yorkers to consider wearing face masks during sex…

    Social distancing leads me to drink;
    Into boredom and torpor I sink.
    “Take advantage,” they say,
    “Of the new games to play!”
    A masked ball, though, just isn’t my kink.

  43. Jeanine Brown says:

    Fabulous limericks!!! Thoroughly enjoyed reading them and had a good laugh!! Super creativity 👍👍👍👍👍👍

  44. Sjaan VandenBroeder says:

    Poetic License allows me to drive
    right through stop signs I hope I survive
    though pile-ups be myriad
    there’s no stopping period
    if you’re reading this I’m still alive

  45. Lisi Nortman says:

    Inexperienced Lady

    One two three; first we have a strong drink
    One two three; then we get into “kink”
    Girl, stop being uptight
    You’re not doing it right
    One two four; we are sure not in sync

  46. Jean McEwen says:

    If the toilet should go on the blink
    And back up, please just call Plumbers, Inc.
    If the guy on the phone
    Says they’ll have to postpone,
    Please be patient; don’t poop in the sink!

  47. Jean McEwen says:

    Tell me: Why must there be so much drama
    Regarding the use of a comma
    Instead of a period?
    Yee gads! The myriad
    Rules give me scholarly trauma.

  48. Thomas Vincent says:

    Trump slings so much sewage, I think
    His tweets are beginning to stink
    The more that he loses
    The deeper the ooze is
    One wonders how low he will sink

  49. Sharon Neeman says:

    Alas, poor adventurous skink!
    As you stopped by a puddle to drink,
    My cat suddenly found you
    And killed you and downed you…
    And puked up your bones in my sink.

  50. Mike Young says:

    So I tried yet another stiff drink
    It brought me right back from the brink
    Synchronism was then such a chore
    That I fell in a heap on the floor
    And started to sink in the sink.

    This tumbling caused a full stop
    So I tried to climb back to the top
    As I shinned up a wire
    I put colon on the fire
    Then extinguished the flames with a sop.

  51. Lisi Nortman says:

    The Lady Get Worse!

    One two three; first we have a strong drink
    One two three; then we get into “kink”
    Girl, stop being uptight
    You’re not doing it right
    Four five six; we are sure not in sync

  52. Mike Young says:

    I’m looking for trumpunctuation
    On the platforms of Washington Station
    In the White House’s shop
    I had a full stop
    Where some brackets had dropped the whole nation.

  53. Lisi Nortman says:

    At first I said, “Trump is in sync
    With our issues.”, but now I sure think:
    After four tragic years
    It clearly appears
    That his mind just continues to shrink

  54. Sjaan VandenBroeder says:

    “Stop waving, you fool — I’m the enemy,”
    said the sea turtle to the anemone.
    “And let’s see what you think
    when you feel my teeth sink!”
    “Go ahead,” it said, “then there’ll be ten o’ me.”

  55. Wayne Feder says:

    Four years will pass by in a wink,
    Then Don will have more time to think.
    My guess, five to ten,
    In a six by eight pen,
    With just a commode and a sink.

    Said Donald, when pushed to the brink,
    While watching his poll numbers sink,
    “Of course I’m for blacks
    And I’ve got their backs.”
    (That, with a veiled nod and a wink).

  56. Lisi Nortman says:

    My computer and I just don’t sync
    It’s sending me right to the brink
    It whispers to me
    In a very low key:
    “Please be patient; I’m trying to think”

  57. Lisi Nortman says:

    Whenever I’m not “in the pink”
    And feel like I’m going to sink
    I think of a verse
    (five lines; kinda’ terse)
    Cause lim’riks are truly my shrink

  58. Lisi Nortman says:

    Punctuation Acrostic

    Q uite flattering, some people feel
    U nique are your words, so they “steal”
    O ne sentence or phrase
    T hey give you much praise
    E ndless wisdom has worthy appeal

  59. Wayne Feder says:

    Four years of my life have been stolen,
    By a man with an ego that’s swollen.
    And I’m never quite sure
    If it’s thoughts or manure,
    Or comes from his mouth or his colon.

  60. Tony Holmes says:

    “Punctuation’s a minefield these days;
    Strident gurus espouse divers ways.
    As a man without clout,
    No one heeds when I spout;
    But hey ho, I may yet start a craze.”

  61. Kirk Miller says:

    There’s a “walk” sign that looks out of sync,
    Flashing “walk” when it shouldn’t. I think
    They ignored my report
    That the sign’s out of sort
    ‘Cause the crosswalk sign’s still on the blink.

  62. Lisi Nortman says:

    John painted a beautiful mural
    Depicting a scene that is rural
    It is called, “Country View’s”
    But why’d this fool use
    An apostrophe stuck in a plural?

  63. Steve Whitred says:

    My fridge is beginning to stink
    And potatoes grow under the sink
    The grass is as high
    As a field full of rye
    But I’ll watch one more ‘Ozark’ I think

  64. Tony Holmes says:

    “Like an owl caught in headlights, I blink.
    ‘Is this really my ending?’ I sink.
    I awake to bright lights,
    And to wonderful sights …
    ‘But do angels wear sidearms?’ I think.”

  65. Lisi Nortman says:

    Prohibition was one cruel suppression
    And America’s harshest oppression
    People started to sink
    When they gave up “the drink”
    No wonder next came Great Depression

  66. Daisy Ward says:

    as the cruise ship begins to sink
    the man’s face starts to turn bright pink
    he laid eyes on his mark
    jumped on the back of a shark
    who bucked, throwing him into a plank

  67. Daisy Ward says:

    the teacher called for a c word
    the nerd thought she meant turd
    he spelled it out long
    and still it was spelled wrong
    he stood with his face looking blurred

  68. Sjaan VandenBroeder says:

    (Parenthetical pairings [I think]
    keeps my message and method in sync
    [using brackets, some curly,
    {like these} that look squirrelly]
    and helps chain of thought add a link).

  69. Sjaan VandenBroeder says:

    sorry, correction–number agreement? Well, I agree I shouldn’t have to send it 2X

    (Parenthetical pairings [I think]
    keep my message and method in sync
    [using brackets, some curly,
    {like these} that look squirrelly]
    and help chain of thought add a link).

  70. Ken Gosse says:

    A Finely-Tuned Tool ~
    A persnickety writer once wrote
    punctuation should help to connote
    and to clarify meaning,
    requiring preening
    that’s used to enlighten, not smote.

  71. Sjaan VandenBroeder says:

    Dissect punctuation — it’s fun!
    One slash — make it quick — you’ve begun.
    Soon your frog won’t be able
    to hop off the table,
    but the sentence will finally be done.

  72. Fred Bortz says:

    I’m writing a note to Obama
    Asking how to resist all the drama
    That comes from Trump’s tweeting,
    Protesting, and bleating.
    I’ve begun “Dear Barack” and a comma.

    Now I’m wondering, as I get rollin’,
    Does “Barack” make it sound like I’m trollin’?
    It’s clearly not normal
    To be so informal.
    I’ll start with “Dear Sir” and a colon.

  73. Fred Bortz says:

    A pandemic’s enough, don’t you think,
    To throw all our iives out of sync.
    Now add in the factor
    Of a certain bad actor:
    Thanks to Trump, we are now at the brink.

  74. Lisi Nortman says:

    My vet has a very long sink
    To soothe all the pets with a kink
    Used mostly for necks
    That just cannot flex
    And kangaroos right on the brink

  75. Thomas Vincent says:

    Computer Keyboards Lament

    Im languishing here in this jail
    Im wishing that I could make bail
    But therell be no release
    By the Grammar Police
    My apostrophe button has failed

  76. Lisi Nortman says:

    Synchronized Swimming

    I felt so dejected and blue
    After reading “The Swimming Review”
    Seems a swimmer “in sync”
    Sadly drowned from a drink
    So the other ones had to drown too

  77. Sjaan VandenBroeder says:

    If when quoting “The Donald” you sink
    into gibberish (his) and you think
    that you’ve happened to pick
    words of libel — use [sic].
    (Too transparent? Okay, try a wink;).

  78. Tim James says:

    Punctuation in Spanish is cool.
    “Put the marks at the start” is the rule.
    “Turn them upside-down” too.
    ¿Es verdad? Is that true?
    ¡Por supuesto! Of course! I’m no fool!

  79. Sjaan VandenBroeder says:

    My lab partner, Frankie, has stolen
    the frog brain I need to keep rollin’.
    Also, where is the rib? it
    was in my exhibit!
    “Comma down,” he says. “Here: take this colon.”

  80. Roger Haugen says:

    punctuations not such a big deal
    i write things down mostly by feel
    if i leave out a comma
    or a hyphen yo mama
    you can put that in quotes its for real

  81. Lisi Nortman says:

    Our home was sure filled with much drama
    The saddest of all was my Mama
    Her Daddy was ailing
    His weak heart was failing
    And then he lapsed into a comma

  82. Lisi Nortman says:

    second verse:

    Our home was sure filled with much drama
    The saddest of all was my Mama
    Grandpa’s sickness was worse
    then we heard from the nurse,
    “I’m sorry; he fell in a comma”

  83. Tim Gray says:

    His speech punctuated by um’s and er’s
    As if afflicted by some oral curse.
    He couldn’t explain
    The shoes in his drain
    And denied the handbag was hers.

    He tried to remember and think
    But was too affected by drink.
    “What was it they’d said”
    Had gone out of his head
    To keep their stories in synch.

    His resolve was beginning to sink
    As he eyed his days in the clink.
    A hanging sentence;
    Or work for repentance?
    His future was now on the brink.

  84. Tim Gray says:

    If Trump, with solemn face
    Sings the hymn Amazing Grace,
    The meaning might sink
    In his brain, and then link
    To his loss in the next Pressie race.

  85. Sjaan VandenBroeder says:

    On those nights when I’ve started to sink
    into sleep, then wake up in a blink,
    I say to my head,
    “All day long you’re half dead,
    now you gotta pick this time to THINK?!”

  86. Steve Frakt says:

    In a contraction of “it is”, the apostrophe
    Comes before the s and after the t
    But if “its” is the possessive
    An apostrophe would be excessive
    And its it is, it’s plain to see

  87. Steve Frakt says:

    I truly love using the ampersand
    It satisfies me more than writing “and”
    It curves with such grace
    & also saves space
    When texting or writing In Twitter land

  88. Tim James says:

    As the sun in the west starts to sink
    And the stars are beginning to wink,
    I see aliens land,
    Anal probes firm in hand.
    (I should really ease up when I drink.)

  89. madkane says:

    The current Limerick-Off ends tomorrow, Saturday, at 4 pm (Eastern time.) So please get your limerick stragglers in.

  90. Lisi Nortman says:

    It’s time that I find a good shrink
    Cause truthfully, I’m on the brink
    I’m profoundly neurotic
    And also psychotic
    (Hope the ship of my life will not sink)

  91. Remember Trump’s Miracle Drink —
    Hydroxy-whatever plus zinc?
    Well, it failed all its trials.
    Now there’s millions of vials
    Donald Trump has to pour down the sink.

  92. If Trump fell in quicksand, I think
    I’d be there on the scene in a blink…
    Not to do him a favor,
    But simply to savor
    The pleasure of watching him sink.

  93. (OOC: uses the plural. Also, just plain stupid.)

    Lou’s DVD mastering stinks:
    The soundtrack’s developed some kinks,
    And the audio rifts
    Lead to loose lip-sync shifts…
    We’ll lose if we ship Lou’s slipped syncs.

  94. The name of the band was N’Sync.
    I tried them, to see what I’d think,
    But I soon had enough
    Of such juvenile stuff…
    They should call them N’Toilet. They stink.

  95. Sjaan VandenBroeder says:

    Here’s a straggler I should have struggled to strangle.

    Did you know there’s an ALL NEW Caine Mutiny?
    Plainly plotted, it takes little scrutiny:
    with Queeg Trump on the brink
    Daniel Craig has to sink
    U.S. Caine! And why Dan? He looks Putin-y.

  96. Lisi Nortman says:

    The world is not really in sync
    Some folks blink cuz they simply can’t wink
    We evolved from the apes
    Thus, we’re all kindred shapes
    Barring Trump, who’s the true missing link

  97. madkane says:

    Thanks so much everyone for another fun two weeks of limericks. This Limerick-Off is officially over. And the winner is…

    Limerick-Off Award 446. Congratulations to the winners!

    But you can still have lots of limerick fun because a new Limerick-Off has just begun: Limerick-Off SOLE.

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