Posts Tagged ‘Drinking Humor’

Limerick Ode To Bourbon Day

Tuesday, June 14th, 2016

Today is a big day for bourbon,
But my taste for it doesn’t need curbin’.
Now tequila and wine
And cognac are fine.
But the flavor of bourbon? Disturbin’!

Happy National Bourbon Day! (June 14)

Happy “Take A Cruise Day!” (Limerick)

Wednesday, February 3rd, 2016

For some inexplicable reason, today’s “Take A Cruise Day,” which is my excuse for this limerick:

While a fellow was off on a cruise,
He smoked grass and kept knocking back booze.
“When I’m seasick,” he said,
“Weed and hootch soothe my head.
And I’d rather be woozy from wooze*.”

* “Wooze” is slang for the combination of weed and booze.

Limerick Ode To Drinking Straw Day (Jan. 3)

Saturday, January 2nd, 2016

Few inventions inspire my awe,
But I’m rather impressed with the straw.
Sucking liquid through tubes
Is suggestive of lubes…
Although straw men still stick in my craw.

(National Drinking Straw Day is celebrated on January 3, in honor of Marvin Stone’s January 3, 1888 patent.)

Never Tease Me With Teas (Limerick)

Wednesday, June 10th, 2015

Never Tease Me With Teas (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

I never drink hot or iced tea.
I just bag it as naught but debris,
Though it might pack a punch
Were it spiked, say with brunch.
But please leave out the tea-taste — that’s key!

NOTE: While studying up on today’s holiday, National Iced Tea Day, I was surprised to learn that tea in the U.S. was originally booze-laden.

A Window Into My Guilt (Limerick)

Wednesday, May 6th, 2015

A Window Into My Guilt (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

You’re sure to encounter frustration
With laptops, when spilling libation:
Your computer won’t thrive,
You may lose your hard drive,
And you’ll likely face defenestration.

Limerick Ode To Bartender Appreciation Day

Friday, December 5th, 2014

Happy Bartender Appreciation Day! (first Friday of December)

Limerick Ode To Bartender Appreciation Day
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A fellow walked into a bar
And ordered a “smoked cable car.”
“Outta rum,” barkeep said.
“How’s a sidecar instead?”
It was close but, alas, no cigar.


When you are ailing,
a bartender’s frequently
a stout companion.


UPDATE: February 24 is World Bartender Day.

Bar Talk (Limerick)

Friday, August 1st, 2014

Bar Talk Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A man had enjoyed a good year
And was trying to spread some good cheer.
But others whose luck
Had been worse said, “Hey schmuck,
Just stop talking and pay for our beer.”

Happy International Beer Day! (First Friday in August)

Happy World Cocktail Day (May 13th)

Tuesday, May 13th, 2014

Limerick Ode To The Cocktail
By Madeleine Begun Kane

We celebrate cocktails in May:
May 13th is “World Cocktail Day.” Yay!
But I hope you won’t laugh
When I say on behalf
Of its worshippers: Why just one day?

(On May 13, 1806, The Balance and Columbian Repository, an upstate New York newspaper, published the first known definition of the word “cock-tail,” as “a stimulating liquor, composed of spirits of any kind, sugar, water and bitters.”)

Another “Food” I Won’t Be Trying (Limerick)

Tuesday, September 3rd, 2013

Two back-to-back Italy-inspired limericks! What the heck’s going on with that country?

Another “Food” I Won’t Be Trying (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Here’s something that sounds quite incredible:
A beer you can eat cuz it’s spreadable.
Since I don’t even think
That beer’s tasty to drink,
Beer on ice cream or toast sounds inedible.

(Here’s yesterday’s limerick about those poor Italian husbands who can no longer afford an apartment for their mistresses. And here’s the news story about Italy’s latest culinary concoction: spreadable beer.)

At The Risk Of Dating Myself, This Doesn’t Pass The Smell Test (Limerick)

Thursday, August 15th, 2013

I wish I were making this London singles event up, but apparently not:

You like pub crawls? Then here’s some great news
For singles who care about loos
And do not mind their scent:
There’s a singles event—
Toilet dates. I’d prefer just the booze.

Those Smashing French Language Police (Limerick)

Tuesday, August 6th, 2013

The French are at it again:

Those Smashing French Language Police (2-Verse Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Le Binge Drinking’s” been outlawed in France.
They’re maintaining a very strict stance–
Not against all that drinking.
No! What were you thinking?
It’s their “dump English verbiage” dance.

A new phrase that has Frenchified grace
Must henceforth be used to replace
Such Anglicized words,
Discarded like turds:
“Beuverie express” — drink at fast pace.

Lining Up For Limericks (Limerick-Off Monday)

Sunday, November 18th, 2012

It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.

The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner.)

How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)

I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner next Sunday, right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday at 11:59 p.m. (Eastern Time.)

I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:

A gal was disturbed by a line …*


A man was disturbed by a line …*

*(Minor variations to my first lines are acceptable, but rhyme words may not be altered.)

Here’s my limerick:

Lining Up For Limericks
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A gal was disturbed by a line
That stretched round the block to buy wine.
“Beaujolais Très Nouveau”
Read the sign. She said, “No!
I need grapes fully weaned from the vine.”

Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

Amusing Wine?

Monday, January 22nd, 2007

Amusing Wine?
By Madeleine Begun Kane

When experts say wine is amusing,
It’s a compliment. Ain’t that confusing?
Why laugh at a wine
If you think that it’s fine?
Methinks they do far too much boozing.

(My food and drink humor is collected here.

Update: Happy Drink Wine Day! (February 18th)