Archive for the ‘Battle of the Sexes’ Category
Saturday, May 4th, 2024
It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using SLIP or SLIPPED at the end of ANY ONE LINE. (A homonym or homophone not listed here may be used in lieu of the designated rhyme word.)
The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s the last contest’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)
Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to DECEIT, using any rhyme word. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best DECEIT-related limerick.
And for a THIRD SEPARATE CHALLENGE, I’ve used a “Random Word Generator” to generate five random words. Your challenge is to use AT LEAST TWO of the Random Words anywhere in your limericks.
Here are the FIVE RANDOM WORDS for this contest:
BOTTLE, DARK, GUITAR, RELEASE, SCOLD.
(You’re free to singularize/pluralize the designated random nouns and to change the tense of the designated random verbs. You can even turn adjectives in adverbs and vice versa, and use any other variant of the random words. And you are NOT required to use any of them as rhyme words, as long as at least two of the words appear somewhere in your limericks.)
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the winners on June 2, 2024, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you FOUR full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, June 1, 2024 at 4:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
Here’s my SLIP or SLIPPED-Rhyme Limerick:
The young oboist tried not to slip
While adjusting her reed; a small snip
Was essential — that’s all!
The reed cracked! Did she bawl?
No, she still kept a stiff upper lip.
And here’s my DECEIT-Themed Limerick:
You have taken advantage of me,
Yet again, said a gal to “pal” Leigh.
I’m feeling abused,
Betrayed and misused,
And I’m betting a court will agree.
You’ve frequently borrowed my spouse
To repair things that break in your house.
It appears that “repair”
Is code for “affair.”
How dare you have sex with that louse!
And here is my RANDOM WORD GENERATOR Limerick:
Do not bottle up feelings, we’re told,
But that sort of advice leaves me cold.
Were my feelings released
I’d turn into a beast;
An express-it-all, ornery scold.
Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Advice Humor, Advice Limerick, Battle of the Sexes, Competition Limerick, Deceit Humor, Deceit Limerick, Emotions, Limerick Challenge, Limerick Contest, Marriage Humor, Marriage Limerick, Music Humor, Music Limerick, Oboe Humor, Oboe Limerick, Oboe Reeds, Poetry & Prompts, Writing Prompts
Posted in Advice Humor & Poems, Battle of the Sexes, Behavior & Personality, Contests, Honesty Humor, House & Home Humor, Light Verse Contest, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick Competition, Limerick Contest, Limerick Writing Contest, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Marriage Humor, Music Humor & Verse, Music Poems, Poetry & Prompts, Poetry Contest | 61 Comments »
Saturday, April 27th, 2024
“Tell me, why are you dating that bum?”
Said a gal to her strict-vegan chum.
“Yes, that fellow’s no saint,
But the man sure can paint!
Plus the guy has a very green thumb.”
Tags: Battle of the Sexes, Dating Humor, Dating Limerick, Food Humor, Food Limerick, Green Thumb, Relationship Humor, Relationship Limerick, Vegan Humor, Vegan Limerick, Vegetable Humor, Vegetable Limerick
Posted in Battle of the Sexes, Dating Humor, Food & Drink Humor, Limericks, Relationship Humor | No Comments »
Friday, April 19th, 2024
I went gray at a premature age,
But embraced it and hoped to look sage.
For a lawyer sans penis
Back then? Mars v. Venus!
Young, female, and short — NOT the rage!
Tags: Appearance Humor, Battle of the Sexes, Bawdy Humor, Bawdy Limerick, Discrimination, Feminist Humor, Feminist Limerick, Hair Humor, Height Limerick, Law Humor, Law Limerick, Lawyer Humor, Lawyer Limerick, Personal Limerick, Sexism, Sexism Humor, Sexism Limerick
Posted in Aging Humor & Verse, Battle of the Sexes, Bawdy Limericks, Behavior & Personality, Feminist Satire, Legal & Lawyer Humor, Limericks, Personal, Physical Appearance, Workplace & Career Humor | No Comments »
Saturday, March 23rd, 2024
An old woman kept humming an air;
A refrain that her spouse could not bear.
“Stop that racket!” he shrieked.
She refused, so he freaked.
Will she do it again? Alas, NE’ER!
Tags: Argument Humor, Argument Limerick, Battle of the Sexes, Humming Humor, Humming Limerick, Marriage Humor, Marriage Limerick, Music Humor, Music Limerick
Posted in Battle of the Sexes, Limericks, Marriage Humor, Music Humor & Verse, Music Poems | Comments Off on The Unbearable Air (Limerick)
Saturday, March 9th, 2024
It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using SHOT or SHOTS at the end of ANY ONE LINE. (A homonym or homophone not listed here may be used in lieu of the designated rhyme word.)
The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s the last contest’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)
Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to PICTURES, using any rhyme word. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best PICTURE-related limerick.
And for a THIRD SEPARATE CHALLENGE, I’ve used a “Random Word Generator” to generate five random words. Your challenge is to use AT LEAST TWO of the Random Words anywhere in your limericks.
Here are the FIVE RANDOM WORDS for this contest:
AMUSING, DOCTOR, NEUROTIC, POSTPONE, VANITY.
(You’re free to singularize/pluralize the designated random nouns and to change the tense of the designated random verbs. You can even turn adjectives in adverbs and vice versa. And you are NOT required to use any of them as rhyme words, as long as at least two of the words appear somewhere in your limericks.)
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the winners on April 7, 2024, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you FOUR full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, April 6, 2024 at 4:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
Here’s my SHOT or SHOTS-Rhyme Limerick:
“That damn bartender’s AWOL,” said Scott
To his prep cook. “Let’s see what you’ve got.”
“Though I’ve never mixed drinks,
I can do it, methinks,
So I gladly will give it a shot.”
And here’s my Picture-Themed Limerick:
“Gotta rush to the bookshop. I’m late!
I am meeting another blind date.
And that chick better look
Like her pic, or I’ll book
It, cuz boy, am I sick of pic-bait!”
And here is my RANDOM WORD GENERATOR Limerick:
An old woman who loved to complain,
Was neurotic and stubborn and vain.
When her doctor prescribed
Her a cane, the gal gibed:
“That will ruin my look. Where’s your brain?”
Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Alcohol Humor, Bartender Humor, Bartender Limerick, Battle of the Sexes, Beverage Humor, Blind Date Humor, Competition Limerick, Dating Humor, Dating Limerick, Deception Humor, Doctor Humor, Doctor Limerick, Health Humor, Health Limerick, Limerick Challenge, Limerick Contest, Poetry & Prompts, Vanity Humor, Vanity Limerick, Writing Prompts
Posted in Battle of the Sexes, Behavior & Personality, Contests, Dating Humor, Food & Drink Humor, Health & Medical Humor, Health Verse, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick Competition, Limerick Contest, Limerick Writing Contest, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Mental Health Humor, Physical Appearance, Poetry & Prompts, Poetry Contest, Restaurant Reviews & Humor | 122 Comments »
Thursday, March 7th, 2024
“Is that fellow the best you can get?
I’m concerned and perplexed and upset,
Also worried and puzzled.
The guy should be muzzled!
You want a wild beast? Get a pet!”
Tags: Advice Humor, Advice Limerick, Battle of the Sexes, Dating Humor, Dating Limerick
Posted in Advice Humor & Poems, Battle of the Sexes, Dating Humor, Limericks | Comments Off on Sisterly Advice (Limerick)
Wednesday, March 6th, 2024
“I’m convinced that my spouse had a fling,
Though he told me he’s done no such thing.
I believed him, at first,
But that bubble soon burst;
He came home the next day bearing bling.”
Tags: Affairs Humor, Affairs Limerick, Battle of the Sexes, Cheating, Gift Humor, Gift Limerick, Jewelry Limerick, Marriage Humor, Marriage Limerick
Posted in Battle of the Sexes, Limericks, Marriage Humor | Comments Off on Flinging Suspicions (Limerick)
Wednesday, February 28th, 2024
“At the moment we met, I was charmed.
But my mood swiftly moved to alarmed
When my date turned irate
Without cause, while she ate,
As she brandished hard proof she was armed.”
Tags: Bad Date Humor, Battle of the Sexes, Battle of the Sexes Humor, Dating Humor, Dating Limerick, Dining Humor, Dining Limerick, Gun Humor, Gun Limerick, Weapons Limerick
Posted in Battle of the Sexes, Dating Humor, Guns & Safety Humor, Limericks, Restaurant Reviews & Humor | Comments Off on Gunning For Trouble? (Limerick)
Saturday, February 10th, 2024
It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using WRY or RYE or AWRY at the end of ANY ONE LINE. (A homonym or homophone not listed here may be used in lieu of the designated rhyme word.)
The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s the last contest’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)
Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to TEETH, using any rhyme word. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best TOOTH/TEETH-related limerick.
And for a THIRD SEPARATE CHALLENGE, I’ve used a “Random Word Generator” to generate five random words. Your challenge is to use AT LEAST TWO of the Random Words anywhere in your limericks.
Here are the FIVE RANDOM WORDS for this contest:
LOOK, MESSY, PROOF, RIDDLE, UNFAIR.
(You’re free to singularize/pluralize the designated random nouns and to change the tense of the designated random verbs. You can even turn adjectives in adverbs and vice versa. And you are NOT required to use any of them as rhyme words, as long as at least two of the words appear somewhere in your limericks.)
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the winners on March 10, 2024, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you FOUR full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, March 9, 2024 at 4:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
Here’s my WRY or RYE or AWRY-Rhyme Limerick:
Mary’s husband, an insecure guy,
Often asked her, “Is something awry?”
For he feared that his bride
Would soon cast him aside,
Whenever he heard his wife sigh.
“Nothing’s wrong,” she would always reply.
Until one day, she let out a cry,
Saying (weary with rage)
“That damn query’s not sage!
Ask it just one more time, and you DIE!”
Here’s my TOOTH/TEETH-Themed Limerick:
“On your X-rays, I’m seeing decay,”
Said the dentist. “You’ve quite an array
Of molars that must
Be attended to. Just
Pay this sizeable invoice today.”
And here’s my RANDOM WORD GENERATOR Limerick:
“Your article’s riddled with flaws.
Did you proof this? Please look at this clause:
It runs on forever.
So publish this? Never!
Your writing endeavor? Lost cause!”
Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Battle of the Sexes, Competition Limerick, Dental Humor, Dental Limerick, Insecurity Humor, Limerick Challenge, Limerick Contest, Marriage Humor, Marriage Limerick, Poetry & Prompts, Teeth Humor, Teeth Limerick, Writing Prompts
Posted in Battle of the Sexes, Behavior & Personality, Contests, Health & Medical Humor, Health Verse, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick Competition, Limerick Contest, Limerick Writing Contest, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Marriage Humor, Poetry & Prompts, Poetry Contest | 134 Comments »
Saturday, February 3rd, 2024
Hubby Mark will readily admit that this is true:
My dear husband, at times, will just stare,
His gaze seemingly fixed on mere air.
What has captured his eye?
The rapture? A fly?
He’s not scared, so I’d guess … not a bear.
Tags: Battle of the Sexes, Husband Humor, Husband Limerick, Marriage Humor, Marriage Limerick
Posted in Battle of the Sexes, Behavior & Personality, Limericks, Marriage Humor | 2 Comments »
Tuesday, January 23rd, 2024
The temptress exclaimed, “Take a lick.
But hurry! You must make it quick,
Or I’ll eat it alone.
Hey, you’ve broken my cone.
Ice cream’s melting all over your… Ick!
Tags: Battle of the Sexes, Bawdy Humor, Bawdy Limerick
Posted in Battle of the Sexes, Bawdy Limericks, Food & Drink Humor, Limericks | 2 Comments »
Friday, January 19th, 2024
A witty old gal nicknamed Jen
Would enjoy telling jokes now and then.
When her spouse failed to get
Jenny’s jests, she would fret
And say, “Laugh, or I’ll tell it again!”
Tags: Husband Wife Limerick, Marriage, Marriage Humor, Marriage Limerick, Marriage Verse, Married Couple Humor
Posted in Battle of the Sexes, Family & Relatives Humor, Family Verse, Jokes & One-Liners, Limericks, Marriage Humor | Comments Off on Joke-Telling Jen (Limerick)
Wednesday, November 15th, 2023
What’s my excuse for posting this limerick? It’s November 15th, National Drumming Day.
A drummer had hoped to ensnare
An au pair in a sordid affair:
“Your breasts are so sweet.
May I fondle each teat?”
“You’ve some pair,” she said. “Beat it! No! Ne’er!”
Tags: Au Pair Humor, Battle of the Sexes, Bawdy Humor, Bawdy Limerick, Bawdy Limericks, Childcare, Drumming Day, Drums Humor, Drums Limerick, National Drumming Day, November Holidays, Odd Holidays, Sex Humor, Sex Limerick
Posted in Battle of the Sexes, Bawdy Limericks, Children Humor, Limericks, Music Humor & Verse, Music Poems, Odd Holdays | 2 Comments »
Friday, September 29th, 2023
A musician enjoying a fling
With a gal, almost bought her a ring.
What changed the man’s mind?
He was saddened to find
She mistakenly thinks she can sing.
Tags: Battle of the Sexes, Dating Humor, Dating Limerick, Music Humor, Music Humor & Verse, Music Limerick, Singing Humor, Singing Limerick, Vocal Humor, Voice Humor
Posted in Battle of the Sexes, Dating Humor, Limericks, Music Humor & Verse, Music Poems | 1 Comment »
Wednesday, September 27th, 2023
Said a gal to her closest friend Jean:
“Did you sleep with my boyfriend? Come clean!”
Jean confessed: “Don’t be pissed!
I told him, ‘Desist!’
Seems his language skills aren’t too keen.”
Tags: Battle of the Sexes, Dating Humor, Dating Limerick, Excuses Humor, Language Humor, Sex Humor
Posted in Battle of the Sexes, Dating Humor, Friendship Humor, Limericks | 1 Comment »
Monday, July 31st, 2023
A man who, alas, had no game,
Was rebuffed by a cold-hearted dame:
“You’ve no shot at romance
With me. Not at chance,
Like I told you the last time you came!”
Tags: Battle of the Sexes, Dating Humor, Dating Limerick, Romance Humor, Romance Limerick
Posted in Battle of the Sexes, Dating Humor, Limericks, Romance Humor | Comments Off on Foiled Romance (Limerick)
Monday, June 26th, 2023
A fellow who’s known as a lush
Was downing his drinks in a rush.
“If I’m late,” he proclaimed,
“She who shall not be named
Says from now on she’ll ‘only serve mush!'”
Tags: Alcohol Humor, Battle of the Sexes, Drinking Humor, Drinking Limerick, Food Humor, Lateness Humor, Marriage Humor
Posted in Battle of the Sexes, Behavior & Personality, Food & Drink Humor, Limericks, Marriage Humor | Comments Off on Lush Limerick
Sunday, April 23rd, 2023
Delores and Bill, once an item,
Had a fight. Now she won’t even write ’im
A text saying “hi,”
Or an angry “GOODBYE!”
She explains: “Can’t abide him, so BITE ’IM!”
Tags: Battle of Sexes, Battle of the Sexes, Dating Humor, Dating Limerick, Dating Poem, Relationship Humor, Relationship Limerick
Posted in Battle of the Sexes, Dating Humor, Limericks, Relationship Humor | 1 Comment »
