Archive for the ‘Health & Medical Humor’ Category
Saturday, April 15th, 2023
For an upcoming interview, I was asked why I hadn’t written any acrostic limericks since 2015. The question surprised me, because I was certain this couldn’t be true. As it turns out, I’ve written quite a few since then, but never got around to posting them on this blog. For instance, here’s a quartet of acrostic limericks I wrote in 2019 for a contest, but forgot (until now) to post on my blog:
I’m alarmed when mosquitoes come near.
They adore me, I fear. Ev’ry year,
Come what may, I get bitten.
How come? Cuz they’re smitten.
Yes, THAT’S why I’m scratching my rear.
An acrostical challenge in verse
Leads this poet to mutter and curse;
Penning lines so constrained
Has my mind frazzled, pained,
As each version, perversely, is worse.
Anxiety’s cloud, oh so dense;
Neurosis can make you feel tense.
Getting out of your chair
(Somehow going somewhere)
Tends to help, so let healing commence.
How I love to draw laughs or a smile,
Using lim’ricks to banish the bile
Many people amass.
Only wit helps it pass;
Rhymed verse … for when life’s feeling vile.
Tags: Acrostic Limerick, Acrostic Poems, Acrostic Poetry Challenge, Acrostics Poems, Angst, Anxiety Humor, Anxiety Limerick, Insects, Limerick Writing Humor, Mosquito Humor, Mosquitoes, Stress Humor, Stress Limerick
Posted in Acrostic Limericks, Acrostic Madness, Acrostic Poetry Prompts, Anxiety & Stress, Health & Medical Humor, Health Verse, Insect Humor, Limericks, Mental Health Humor, Writing & Publishing Humor | 1 Comment »
Monday, March 13th, 2023
An adventurous person? Hee-hee!
I’m a bit of a coward, you see.
So to physical risks,
I say “No!” All my discs
And my bones seem essential to me.
Tags: Accidents, Adventurers, Adventures Limerick, Bones Humor, Health, Health & Medical Humor, Health Limericks, Injury Humor, Injury Verse, Sports Humor, Sports Limerick
Posted in Behavior & Personality, Health & Medical Humor, Health Verse, Hobbies Humor, Limericks, Outdoors Humor, Personal, Physical Appearance, Sports Humor | 1 Comment »
Saturday, March 11th, 2023
If you live in a part of our nation
That creates DST irritation
Via forward or back
Clock adjustments, alack!
Spring ahead for some sleep deprivation!
Tags: Clock Humor, Daylight Saving Time, Daylight Savings Time, DST Humor, DST Limerick, Insomnia Humor, Insomnia Limerick, March Holidays, Sleep Humor, Sleep Limerick, SpringForward, SpringForwardDay, Time Humor, Time Verse
Posted in Anxiety & Stress, Behavior & Personality, Celebrations Poetry, Celebrity Humor, Health & Medical Humor, Health Verse, Holiday Humor, Limericks, Mental Health Humor, Odd Holidays, Seasons Humor, Sleep & Insomnia Humor, Time Humor | Comments Off on Limerick Ode To DST
Thursday, February 9th, 2023
A lawyer whose molar was aching
Lambasted a bakery’s baking:
Said his tooth had been marred
By a dangerous shard—
A shakedown, methinks, in the making.
(National Toothache Day falls on February 9.)
Tags: Bakery, Baking Humor, Dental Humor, Dentist Humor, Dentist Limerick, February Holidays, Food Humor, Law Humor, Law Limerick, Lawyer Limerick, Tooth Humor, Tooth Limerick, Toothache Day
Posted in Food & Drink Humor, Health & Medical Humor, Health Verse, Legal & Lawyer Humor, Limericks, Odd Holidays | Comments Off on A Cooked Up Complaint? (Limerick)
Tuesday, December 13th, 2022
A fellow who plays violin
Bears his neck pain with grace and a grin:
“Yes the problem is big,
But it comes with the gig;
I must take all my aches on the chin.”
(December 13th is National Violin Day.)
Tags: December Holidays, Music, Music Humor & Verse, Music Limerick, Musical Instruments, Musical Instruments Humor, Musical Verse, Musician Humor, National Violin Day, Odd Holidays, Violin Day, Violin Humor, Violin Limerick, Violin Verse
Posted in Health & Medical Humor, Health Verse, Limericks, Music Humor & Verse, Music Poems, Odd Holidays | Comments Off on The Violinist’s Plight (Limerick)
Saturday, November 5th, 2022
Tags: Clocks Limerick, Daylight Savings Time, DST Humor, Eastern Time, Insomnia, Insomnia Humor, Insomnia Verse, Sleep, Standard Time, Time Humor, Time Verse
Posted in Anxiety & Stress, Behavior & Personality, Health & Medical Humor, Health Verse, Mental Health Humor, Odd Holidays, Seasons Humor, Sleep & Insomnia Humor, Time Humor | Comments Off on Here We Go Again With The Clocks (Haiku)
Tuesday, July 5th, 2022
A young lass liked a fellow a lot,
But his anti-vax views were a blot.
So she thwarted his pass
When she grasped that, alas,
He would never give vaxes a shot.
Tags: Date Humor, Date Limerick, Dating Humor, Dating Limerick, Health & Medical Humor, Health Limerick, Love Humor, Love Limerick, Political Arguments, Political Humor, Romance Humor, Romancing Limerick, Vaccine Humor, Vaccine Limerick, Vax Humor, Vax Limerick
Posted in Dating Humor, Health & Medical Humor, Health Verse, Limericks, Romance Humor | 1 Comment »
Monday, May 30th, 2022
Who hasn’t discovered a gap
Where you once had a crown or a cap?
Then you search high and low.
Where the hell did it go?
If you’re lucky, it fell in your lap.
But more likely, it’s gone or destroyed;
Need a new one to fill that damn void.
You’re apparently fucked;
That doc you have ducked
For years must, alas, be employed.
Tags: Dental Humor, Dental Limerick, Dentist Humor, Dentist Limerick, Health & Medical Humor, Health Limerick, Teeth Humor, Teeth Limerick, Tooth Humor, Tooth Limerick
Posted in Health & Medical Humor, Health Verse, Limericks | 1 Comment »
Tuesday, April 26th, 2022
Although her great-uncle was old,
He still loved to play sports; he was bold
And he gave it his all
When he lunged for a ball.
He’d but ONE worry: Catching a cold!
Tags: Age Humor, Age Limerick, Aging Humor & Verse, Aging Limerick, Cold Humor, Cold Limerick, Health & Medical Humor, Health Limerick, Sports Humor, Sports Limerick
Posted in Aging Humor & Verse, Health & Medical Humor, Health Verse, Limericks, Outdoors Humor, Recreation & Fun Humor, Sports Humor | Comments Off on An Age-Old Story (Limerick)
Monday, April 18th, 2022
A largely deaf fellow named Ben
Relished sex in his new girlfriend’s den.
But she’d talk during sex,
(Very much like his ex.)
His confusing reply? “Come again.”
Tags: Battle of Sexes, Bawdy Humor, Bawdy Limerick, Communication Humor, Communication Limerick, Dating Humor, Dating Limerick, Deafness Humor, Deafness Limerick, Hearing Humor, Hearing Limerick, Sex Humor, Sex Limerick
Posted in Battle of the Sexes, Bawdy Limericks, Communication Humor, Dating Humor, Health & Medical Humor, Health Verse, Limericks | Comments Off on A Failure To Communicate (Limerick)
Tuesday, April 5th, 2022
Her boyfriend insists that she’s “jerky”
For falling for health warnings “murky.”
He has coaxed and opined,
But he can’t change her mind:
She’s swearing off poultry “cold turkey.”
Tags: Chicken Humor, Dating Humor, Dating Limerick, Diet Humor, Diet Limerick, Food Humor, Food Limerick, Health & Medical Humor, Health Limerick, Idiom Humor, Idiom Limerick, Poultry Humor, Poultry Limerick
Posted in Advice Humor & Poems, Dating Humor, Food & Drink Humor, Health & Medical Humor, Idiom Humor, Limericks | Comments Off on A Healthy Disagreement (Limerick)
Saturday, April 2nd, 2022
It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using NOSE or KNOWS or NOES at the end of ANY ONE LINE. (A homonym or homophone not listed here may be used in lieu of the designated rhyme word.)
The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s last week’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)
Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to SECURITY, using any rhyme word. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best SECURITY-related limerick.
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the winners on April 17, 2022, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you two full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, April 16, 2022, at 4:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
Here’s my NOSE or KNOWS or NOES-rhyme limerick:
A fellow named Joe often goes
To ENT docs — nasal pros.
Those rhinologists charge
Pricey fees; bills so large
That poor Joe’s forced to pay through the nose.
And here’s my SECURITY-themed limerick:
Though the homebuilder does know the score,
His computer security’s poor.
So to no one’s surprise,
He’s been hacked. You’ll surmise:
Someone readily found the back door.
Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Competition Limerick, Computer Humor, Computer Limerick, Health & Medical Humor, Health Limerick, Limerick Challenge, Limerick Contest, Money & Finance Humor, Money Limerick, Nose Humor, Nose Limerick, Poetry & Prompts, Security Humor, Security Limerick, Writing Prompts
Posted in Behavior & Personality, Computer Humor, Contests, Health & Medical Humor, Health Verse, House & Home Humor, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick Competition, Limerick Contest, Limerick Writing Contest, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Money & Finance Humor, Poetry & Prompts, Poetry Contest, Technology Humor | 171 Comments »
Monday, March 28th, 2022
A crazy conductor named Dick
Had a fondness for “food on a stick.”
The guy was far gone;
Used his skewer-baton
To throw food at the winds with a flick.
*****
Happy “Something On A Stick Day.” (March 28)
Tags: Baton Humor, Baton Limerick, Conductor Limerick, Conductors Humor, Food Humor, Food Limerick, Food On A Stick, Food On A Stick Day, March Holidays, Music Humor & Verse, Music Limerick, Musicians Humor, Odd Holidays, Orchestra Musicians, Skewer Humor, Something On A Stick Day, Woodwinds Humor
Posted in Behavior & Personality, Food & Drink Humor, Health & Medical Humor, Health Verse, Limericks, Mental Health Humor, Music Humor & Verse, Music Poems, Odd Holidays | 1 Comment »
Sunday, March 27th, 2022
An old-fashioned barber (and knave)
While at work, tried his best to behave.
But alas, he went nuts;
Stabbed two customers’ guts…
And a third had a very close shave.
Tags: Barber Humor, Barber Limerick, Beard Humor, Beard Limerick, Close Shave, Crime & Punishment Humor, Crime Limerick, Hair Humor, Hair Limerick, Idiom Humor, Idiom Limerick
Posted in Behavior & Personality, Crime & Punishment Humor, Health & Medical Humor, Health Verse, Mental Health Humor, Physical Appearance | Comments Off on Barbaric Limerick
Wednesday, March 23rd, 2022
A man did his best to disguise
His retinal issues with lies.
When at last he sought ocular
Aid, he was jocular:
“Doc, you’re a sight for sore eyes!”
(March 23 is World Optometry Day.)
Tags: Eye Humor, Eye Limerick, Eyes Humor, Eyes Limerick, Health & Medical Humor, Health Limerick, March Holidays, Odd Holidays, Optometrist, Optometry Day, Optometry Humor, Optometry Limerick, Patients Humor, Patients Limerick, Vision Humor, Vision Limerick
Posted in Health & Medical Humor, Health Verse, Idiom Humor, Language Humor, Limericks, Odd Holidays, Vision Humor | 1 Comment »
Saturday, March 12th, 2022
I’ve been told to “Spring forward!” Can’t do!
With my knees? Are you kidding? I’m through:
No more jumping and running
And springing! I’m shunning
Such acts. You mean “clock movement?” Whew!
Tags: Aging Humor & Verse, Aging Limerick, Clocks Limerick, Daylight Saving Time, Daylight Savings Time, DST, DST Humor, Health & Medical Humor, Health Limerick, Holiday Poetry, March Holidays, Odd Holidays, SpringForward, SpringForwardDay, Standard Time, Time Humor, Time Verse
Posted in Aging Humor & Verse, Health & Medical Humor, Health Verse, Limericks, Seasons Humor, Time Humor | Comments Off on An Age Old Protest (Limerick)
Monday, January 24th, 2022
Some say Omicron cases are peaking.
Do they know that of which they are speaking?
We are all on the ropes,
So don’t lift up our hopes
Just to dash them again … cuz we’re freaking!
Tags: Anxiety Limerick, Coronavirus, Covid Vaccine, Covid-19, Health, Health & Medical Humor, Health Limerick, Health Limericks, Omicron
Posted in Anxiety & Stress, Health & Medical Humor, Health Verse, Limericks | 1 Comment »
Saturday, December 18th, 2021
This limerick would, alas, be timely, even if today (December 18) weren’t “World Knot Tying Day.”
A woman was tied up in knots
Over Covid. She feared for her tots.
Said her husband, “No vax!
I’d rather eat wax!”
In their fam’ly, the dolt calls the shots.
Tags: Covid Humor, Covid Limerick, December Holidays, Health & Medical Humor, Health Limerick, Knots Humor, Knots Limerick, Knotting Tying Day, Marriage Humor, Marriage Limerick, Odd Holidays
Posted in Health & Medical Humor, Health Verse, Marriage Humor, Odd Holidays | Comments Off on Tied Up In Knots (Limerick)
Saturday, October 23rd, 2021
To mix, or to match — I’m confused:
Which booster vaccine should be used?
More Moderna? Some Pfizer?
I need an adviser!
By which shot should my shoulder be bruised?
Tags: Booster Shot, Covid Limerick, Covid Pandemic, Health & Medical Humor, Health Limerick, Medical Humor, Medical Limerick, Moderna Vaccine, Pandemic, Pfizer Vaccine, Vaccine Humor, Vaccine Limerick
Posted in Health & Medical Humor, Health Verse, Limericks | Comments Off on To Mix, Or To Match; That Is The Question (Limerick)
Friday, October 22nd, 2021
Celebrate “National Knee Day?” Not me!
Say “hip, hip, hooray!” cuz it’s Knee Day?
I don’t find it a Fills-Me-With-Glee day.
Any “climb those stairs” stance
Makes my knees look askance,
So it’s more of a Please-Function-Plea day.
Tags: Health & Medical Humor, Health Limerick, Knee Day, Limbs Humor, Limbs Limerick, National Knee Day, October Holidays, Odd Holidays
Posted in Health & Medical Humor, Health Verse, Limericks, Odd Holidays | Comments Off on Not Kneeling For “Knee Day” (Limerick) (October 22)
