Archive for the ‘Social Satire’ Category

Fitting A Limerick On Twitter Ain’t Easy!

Sunday, April 9th, 2017

Oy! The contortions I had to go through to fit a meta-limerick about NPR’s poetry-tweet contest into a tweet!

I HATE the 140-character (including hashtag) limit! GRRR!

This limerick looked perfectly normal before I was forced to alter it to fit into a tweet: (It even had proper punctuation, spelling, and spacing.)

I’ve poetry news:Tweet ur verse
4 NPR glory;No purse
So dont curse.Just compoz
Ur poems,not proz
&remember that TwitterMeansTERSE

#NPRPoetry

Paying Lots Of Bread … For Toast (Limerick)

Friday, January 17th, 2014

I read about horrifying trends, so you don’t have to. How’d you like some three and four-dollars-per-slice “artisanal toast?”

Paying Lots Of Bread … For Toast (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Artisanal toast’s a new trend.
Does this four-dollar-slice fad portend
Even worse things to come?
Perhaps hipster-style gum?
Or lim’ricks, bespoke, pric’ly penned?

Smite SMODJ! (Limerick)

Friday, July 19th, 2013

This limerick was inspired by Facebook friend Douglas Frank, who proposed a new texting acronym:

SMODJ, pronounced similar to “smudge.”
It stands for: Social Media Outrage Du Jour.

Smite SMODJ! (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Social Media Outrage Du Jour
(SMODJ, for short) can be tough to endure.
Angry pro and con litter
In Facebook and Twitter
Stream ceaselessly. Stop, please! No more!

Big Brotherly Limerick

Friday, June 7th, 2013

I should probably write a serious limerick on my Political Madness Blog about the four P’s: Privacy, Prism, the Patriot Act, and Power. Because it’s becoming self-evident that whoever’s President (a bad guy or a theoretically good guy) will take whatever power his predecessor had and use it, exploit it, and expand it.

But I’m not in the mood to write a serious limerick, so I offer this one instead:

Big Brotherly Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A fellow was going through hoops
To avoid being spied on by snoops.
He had nothing to hide,
But could never abide
His life being turned into scoops.

Gunning For Father Of The Year? (Limerick)

Tuesday, July 10th, 2012

Taking your baby son with you when visiting a hooker is probably unwise:

A man in Tuscaloosa may be charged with child endangerment after taking along his nine month old son during a meeting with a prostitute.

Once inside the motel room, another man entered and a fight broke out. Shots were fired while the baby was in the room, and a bullet grazed the father’s head.

Gunning For Father Of The Year?
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Dear dads, if your kid’s under one,
And you’re looking for prostitute fun,
A sitter’s a must;
Else forget about lust,
Or be labeled a son of a gun.

Political Un-Friendship (Limerick)

Thursday, January 12th, 2012

My Facebook friend, comedy writer/director/producer Chris Bearde, recently said:

Satire, taken broadly as a form of comedy protest, will bring you FB friends and lose you some too… so the playing field is always level.

Chris’s comments inspired me to write this limerick:

Political Un-Friendship (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Facebook friends can at times take offense
At jokes at their party’s expense.
If they click on “unfriend”
In order to end
Such humor exposure, they’re dense.

UPDATE: I’ve just found out that November 17th is National Unfriend Day. Apparently, the holiday was invented three years ago by Jimmy Kimmel. So, who should be “unfriended?” According to Kimmel, the “proud parent,” “the Instagrammer,” and the “overly-political poster” should all be history. Methinks I fall afoul of the third category.

Limerick Ode To Voicemail

Friday, April 15th, 2011

Limerick Ode To Voicemail
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Dear voicemail, I love and adore you.
And I’m puzzled by those who deplore you.
Oh, the charm of your voices
And all of those choices.
Wait, I’m lying — I really abhor you.

(Related Humor: The Outgoing Message I’d Love To (But Probably Shouldn’t) Leave On My Answering Machine (Limerick))

Newsy Limerick 2

Monday, March 28th, 2011

Newsy Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Restricting your diet of news
To outlets endorsing your views
Reinforces beliefs
And bias and beefs.
Why bother? You might as well snooze.

(Prompted by this circular poetry writing prompt.)

Author’s Note: I just realized that this limerick could just as easily fit in my other blog where I post political humor and satire.

Limerick Ode To International Women’s Day

Tuesday, March 8th, 2011

Limerick Ode To International Women’s Day
By Madeleine Begun Kane

I nearly forgot — not sure how —
International Women’s Day — Wow!
It’s the 8th day of March —
Not a day to be arch
Or silly or zany, so Ciao!

Hoping For Humor (Sundry Verse)

Thursday, March 3rd, 2011

Today I’ve written four poems on a theme called hope. There’s a pair of quatrains, one haiku, and a limerick — something for everyone, or no one, as the case may be:

Hope springs eternal—
a “truism” some speak.
Yes, hope springs eternal,
until it springs a leak.

*****

Alexander Pope
wrote about hope.
His eternal quote
helps some folks cope.

*****

Showing up to vote—
a yearly exercise in
unrequited hope.

*****

A gal who is often caught moping
And is terribly dreadful at coping
Drives her family mad.
Things have gotten so bad,
That they’re hoping to hear she’s eloping.

*****

(Inspired by Haiku Wednesday’s hope prompt and Poets United quotation prompt. For more optimistic poems see Friday Poetically.)

Celebrate All My Gizmos Are Working Day — March 2nd

Tuesday, February 22nd, 2011

Each year our calendars are jam-packed with weird, oddball holidays created, presumably, by equally weird people. Since I’m just as odd as the next person, I figure I’m entitled to invent one too … assuming I can come up with something strange that isn’t already taken.

Anyway, while scrolling through several calendars specializing in bizarre holidays, I noticed a startling omission. Apparently, nobody’s thought to invent All My Gizmos Are Working Day. That is, until now.

So with the powers vested in me as a member in good standing of the New York State Bar, I hereby declare March 2, 2011 to be the first annual All My Gizmos Are Working Day.

As you might expect, I’m commemorating this spanking new holiday with a limerick. But before I get to my verse, let me first acknowledge that most people won’t be able to really celebrate All My Gizmos Are Working Day on March 2nd. In fact, there’s a good chance I won’t be able to enjoy it either.

Why not? Because I can’t remember the last time that I didn’t have at least one broken gadget — a kitchen appliance, TV, DVD player, stereo, land line, cell phone, computer, e-book reader, MP3 player, etc. At least one electronic thingamajig is always misbehaving.

But hope springs eternal, right? So here’s my celebratory limerick:

Limerick Ode To All My Gizmos Are Working Day
By Madeleine Begun Kane

All My Gizmos Are Working Day’s here.
March 2nd’s that day of good cheer.
If, alas, you’re disgusted
Cuz something is busted,
Try again on March 2nd next year.

(Inspired by Big Tent’s anti-holiday prompt.)

UPDATE: I’ve learned that March 26th is Make up your own Holiday Day.

Infamous Limerick

Monday, September 27th, 2010

Once again, it’s Limerick-Off time. I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:

A woman who yearned for great fame…

Here’s mine. (It’s a two-verse limerick, but a standard one-verse limerick is fine, of course.)

Infamous Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A woman who yearned for great fame
Had no talent that people could name.
But reality’s odd:
Her voluptuous bod
Led to stints on American Dame.

The series showed gals well endowed,
As scantily clad as allowed.
Then losers were kicked,
As front-runners were picked.
You don’t like that idea? Join the crowd.

Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity in my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please send me an email requesting the alerts. You’ll find my email address on the upper right sidebar, right above my photo. Thanks!

Keeping Abreast of Breast Gazing

Sunday, August 8th, 2010

One of my Facebook pals recently linked a Med-Guru article touting a breast-gazing study. Its conclusion? Staring at breasts is good for your health and increases your life expectancy. Just one problem — the study’s apparently a hoax or urban myth.

Of course, men can still try to use the “study” when caught ogling. My limerick should help:

Keeping Abreast of Breast Gazing
By Madeleine Begun Kane

There’s a study that strongly suggests
You’ll live longer from staring at breasts.
So guys, if your gal
Sees you leer that locale,
Just explain it’s your life span’s behest.

Dotty Men

Wednesday, July 28th, 2010

I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:

A guy in a polka dot tie…

Here’s mine. (It’s a three-verse limerick, but a standard one-verse limerick is fine, of course.):

Dotty Men
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A guy in a polka dot tie
Felt stylish, though heaven knows why.
His jacket was garish.
His pants were nightmarish.
And non-matching sneakers — oh my!

Yet he sat around mocking the gals
With some equally odd-looking pals.
“She’s too thin. She’s too fat.”
“She’s an ugly old bat.”
Can’t imagine their warped rationales.

Why do fellows behave in that way —
Scorning gals who look cuter than they?
Do they all need a shrink?
I sure hope they don’t think
It will lead to a roll in the hay.

Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity in my Limerick-Offs.

Feed Needs

Tuesday, March 9th, 2010

In simpler (pre-social networking) days, I suffered from just one web addiction — checking my email. And that was bad enough.

But now it’s Facebook and Twitter and blogging, oh my!

And for some people, it’s even worse. I guess I should be relieved that I don’t especially dig Digg, and that MySpace hasn’t invaded my brain space. And that (so far, at least) I’ve withstood the lure of most of the social networking and social media websites listed here in all their gory glory.

Because, as you can tell from this limerick, I don’t need any more web obsessions:

Feed Needs
By Madeleine Begun Kane

I’m addicted to Facebook, it’s true,
And Twitter and weblogging too.
I’m desp’rately hooked.
All my hours are booked
On my quest to be fed something new.

Vintage Wisdom

Sunday, December 27th, 2009

Are you a Winus Ignoramus? Do wine connoisseurs make you feel insecure? I once felt the same way … until I discovered that NOBODY KNOWS ANYTHING, especially when mouthing off about wine.

It’s shocking but true — most wine aficionados are faking it. Sure they toss around savvy sounding terms like oak, bouquet, finish, and jujubes. But trust me — they simply memorized a few words which they lob randomly, confident that they won’t be challenged. Why? Because they’re surrounded by fellow fakers.

You don’t believe me? Okay, here’s the proof. Several years ago some friends invited hubby Mark and me to a blind wine tasting party. These friends, who I sure hope won’t be reading this, were planning their wedding and wanted to find some great, but affordable wine.

The husband-to-be, who fancied himself a wine expert, had spent thousands of hours studying The Wine Spectator in his quality wine bargain quest, while the bride did what most brides do — everything else.

When we arrived for the tasting, we learned that the groom had narrowed his choice down to eight reds and eight whites, each touted as an “excellent buy” and each hovering at the high end of their wedding budget. Our job as two of a dozen guests was to taste and rank each wine “blind.” Then, through some elaborate coding process (I’m pretty sure the CIA was involved) our host would determine the identity of our favorites.

Being a dedicated Winus Ignoramus, I was embarrassed to be included in this group of wine savvy visitors. But I gamely participated, munching on dry crackers between each taste to cleanse my palate. And trying to follow the Wine Snobus Elitus-speak that kept buzzing around the room. “An amusing white.” “A charming red with just a hint of sassafras.” “A disappointing nose.” “Alluring eyes …” No wait, wrong party.

While everyone else sniffed corks and muttered pretentiously, I concentrated on trying to discern red from white. Finally, when each wine had been sipped and ranked, I sighed with relief … until I found out we had to repeat the tasting to double check the results.

The second round was finally over, and everyone anxiously awaited the verdict. Which red had prevailed? Which white had won?

And then a funny thing happened. (Well, funny to me.) With but one exception, everyone had been inconsistent in his preferences. Each person’s Wine List 1 was dramatically different from his Wine List 2. Everyone’s lists …. but mine.

I tried not to gloat. Okay, that’s a lie. A well-rounded tablespoon of gloating and a dash of strutting seemed about right. With just a soupçon of sass … afras.

So that’s when I learned that NOBODY KNOWS ANYTHING … especially when it comes to wine. Which is why I’m no longer intimidated by leather-bound wine lists and patrons who pretend to understand them. I even feel free to make reservations in fancy restaurants … without reservation.

And on the appointed evening I stride in, my head and nose held high. Once seated, I give the wine list just a cursory glance. Who needs a list when you know your stuff?

“Le Boeuf Tartare, my dear sir,” I say, “and your finest applejack on the rocks.”

Just kidding — wine connoisseurs only drink applejack with fish.

The Vibrator Play on Broadway (Review and Limerick)

Sunday, November 22nd, 2009

A period play about vibrators? It sounds like an unlikely theme for a Broadway play, but playwright Sarah Ruhl pulls it off in her In the Next Room or the vibrator play.

I highly recommend this funny and insightful comedy about hysteria, a “disease of the womb.” And so does New York Times theater critic Charles Isherwood. But Isherwood’s review is missing a limerick:

Vibrant Vibrator Play (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A “Vibrator Play” on Broadway?
Yes, it sounds just a little risqué.
But it’s witty — not crude.
(Though it ain’t for a prude.)
I just loved it, so book it today.

(The details: In the Next Room or the vibrator play is a Lincoln Center Theater production, directed by Les Waters and playing at the Lyceum Theater. It stars Laura Benanti, Michael Cerveris, Maria Dizzia, Thomas Jay Ryan, Chandler Williams, Quincy Tyler Bernstine, and Wendy Rich Stetson.)

Versifying About Satire & Law On My Other Blog

Wednesday, July 16th, 2008

I’ve written a couple of posts & poems on my political humor blog that readers of this blog might find interesting.

The first is about New Yorker Magazine’s Barack Obama cover controversy.  My poem about the challenges of creating satire begins:

A Humorist’s Lament
Madeleine Begun Kane

A humorist like me sure knows
How tough it is to write, compose,
And sketch satiric toons and prose
And poems.  It’s not without its woes.

For instance, Barry Blitt’s lampoon,
New Yorker’s well-intentioned toon, …

The other is about a federal judge who lambasted plaintiff’s lawyer via judicial limerick.

The Outgoing Message I’d Love To (But Probably Shouldn’t) Leave On My Answering Machine (Limerick)

Friday, May 9th, 2008

The Outgoing Message I’d love To (But Probably Shouldn’t) Leave On My Answering Machine
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Your party can’t come to the phone.
She’s at lunch or home sick.  Please don’t moan.
Leave a message, or not.
I don’t care — I’m a bot.
But my owner says, “Leave me alone!”

(For more phone-related verse, visit Sunday Scribblings.)

UPDATE: Happy National Inane Answering Machine Message Day! (January 30th)

UPDATE 2: April 25 is National Telephone Day.

Multitasking Mania (Limerick and Haiku Prompt 2)

Friday, December 14th, 2007

Welcome to my 2nd Poetry Prompt. Your assignment, should you choose to accept it, is to write a limerick or haiku (or both) on this week’s theme, which is Multitasking. When you’ve posted your poem, please return here and add a direct link to your multitasking-related verse.

Here’s my multitasking limerick, which was inspired by this news story: Runny Pasta Sauce Nabs Hit And Run Driver.

Just Desserts
By Madeleine Begun Kane

It’s risky to drive while you eat,
Most especially pasta with meat:
Slurping red sauce is rash—
You might very well crash
And leave evidence trails head to feet.

And here’s my multitasking themed haiku:

Lectured to not do
Two things at once, he obeyed
And always did three.

(If you need some tips on limerick or haiku writing, I link to some helpful sites here.)

UPDATE: Happy National Pasta Day: October 17, 2012!