August 26th, 2010
I have a dream that one day crazed liars like Glenn Beck will no longer pollute our television and radio waves and the Internet.
I have a dream that one day the American people will stop being suckered by deranged media personalities like Glenn Beck.
I have a dream that one day Glenn Beck will headline a rally like his “restore honor” to America rally scheduled on the anniversary of Martin Luther King’s “I Have A Dream Speech” … and nobody will show up.
My Dream For Glenn Beck … And America (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Oh, I have a dream for Glenn Beck:
That he’ll lose his unending blank check
To spread mad, evil lies
That are greeted as wise,
When they’re really insidious dreck.
Tags: Deranged Media Personalities, Glenn Beck, Martin Luther King, Media Humor, Political Rally
Posted in Fox News Humor, Glenn Beck Satire, Media Satire, Political Limericks, Political Speeches, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Speeches Satire, Tea Parties, Washington, Wingnuts | 9 Comments »
August 19th, 2010
Poor Newt Gingrich! Periodically, he starts feeling neglected. So he begins making noise about running for president, in order to drum up media attention.
This usually turns out to be more about peddling books than making it into the Oval Office. But this time Pat Buchanan thinks Newt is serious. Unfortunately for Newt, Buchanan also thinks Newt’s gone off the deep end with his so-called “Ground Zero Mosque” remarks:
This week, disgraced former House Speaker Newt Gingrich (R), hoping to make the case against the proposed Park51 community center, compared Muslim Americans to Nazis. On MSNBC yesterday, Pat Buchanan — yes Pat Buchanan — said Gingrich went too far.
Now being too wingnutty for Pat Buchanan is no mean feat:
It’s “absurd,” said Buchanan. “There is no valid comparison there.”
Buchanan also called Gingrich a “political opportunist” who’s trying to be “more controversial than Sarah Palin,” who would be his potential primary challenger in the 2012 presidential election.
That brings me to my latest limerick:
The ambitious Republican Newt
Once was Speaker, but then got the boot.
He so longs to be Prez
That he willingly says
Stuff Buchanan thinks mad. What a hoot!
Related Posts: Newt’s Bilingual Newspeak, Hark! The Disgraced Former Speaker Speaks, and Refudiating Sarah
Tags: Campaign Satire, Election Humor, Media Humor, Newt Gingrich, Pat Buchanan, Presidential Election, Sarah Palin, Talking Heads
Posted in Campaign Humor, Election Satire, Newt Gingrich Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, Sarah Palin, White House, Wingnuts | 8 Comments »
August 17th, 2010
I’m never surprised when Republicans try to trash the U.S. Constitution. But Senator Harry Reid’s position about the proposed Cordoba House — the inaccurately nicknamed “Ground Zero Mosque” — disappointed me.
But then what do I know? I’m just a 1st amendment fan who lives in New York City. And I’d rather see a mosque than a burned out former Burlington Coat Factory store.
That brings me to my latest limerick:
Mosque Mockery
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A “Ground Zero Mosque” — oh how shocking!
Hurray for the folks who are blocking
That mosque to replace
The old coat-selling place.
If perchance you can’t tell — yes, I’m mocking.
Tags: Burlington Coat Factory, Constitution Verse, Cordoba House, First Amendment, Ground Zero, Harry Reid, Islamic Center, Mosque Limerick, New York City, nine-eleven, Religious Humor
Posted in 9/11 Satire, Constitution Humor, Faux Controversies, Harry Reid, New York Politics, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Religious Satire | 8 Comments »
August 13th, 2010
Politico poses this query in the title of an article about extremist Republican candidates such as Rand Paul, Sharron Angle, and Dan Maes: “Will its offbeat candidates hurt GOP?”
Offbeat? Talk about an understatement!
While the article does include less euphemistic language, like “downright strange” and “deeply unusual,” it does little to address the radical, extremist planks of these Republican nominees.
That brings me to my latest limerick:
“Offbeat” On The Politico Beat
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Politico’s pulled off a feat
In describing the wingnut elite.
Maes and Angle and Paul
Are not radicals all.
These extremists are merely “offbeat.”
Tags: Campaign Satire, Dan Maes, Election Humor, Euphemisms, Extremist Candidates, GOP Humor, Media Humor, Politico, Rand Paul, Republicans Humor, Sharron Angle, Tea Party Members, Wingnuts
Posted in Campaign Humor, Election Satire, GOP Humor, Media Satire, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Rand Paul, Republicans Humor, Wingnuts | 3 Comments »
August 10th, 2010
I was both annoyed and amused by Robert Gibbs’ anti-left freak out. Apparently, we progressives don’t sufficiently appreciate President Obama — wa wa wa!
Gibbs’ subsequent apology for his “inartful” attack on the left doesn’t mitigate the need for this open limerick to Mr. Gibbs and his boss:
Open Limerick To Robert Gibbs and President Obama
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Mr. Gibbs is thin-skinned, it appears.
From the left, he wants only big cheers.
But lefties just seek
A Dem Prez who ain’t weak.
White House courage is deep in arrears.
This verse is for Robert Gibbs’ boss.
Ignoring the left is your loss.
And a loss for the nation.
Our former elation
Is gone with your liberal gloss.
Tags: Anti-Left Rants, Liberals, Obama Verse, Progressives, Robert Gibbs, White House
Posted in Barack Obama, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, White House | 4 Comments »
August 6th, 2010
The gay-bashers are at it again, freaking out at Judge Vaughn Walker’s pro-gay marriage Proposition 8 decision in Perry v. Schwarzenegger. The attacks claim, among other things, that:
The ruling is a travesty of justice because Walker himself is reportedly gay - and because he’s gay, he should’ve removed himself from the case!
Boy, am I glad I never parlayed my law degree into a judgeship. Because, based on this “reasoning,” I would have been duty-bound to recuse myself from any case involving women, Jews, short people, straights, New Yorkers, satirists, versifiers, lawyers, oboe players, agnostics, and people older than … uh … never mind.
That brings me to my latest limerick:
Judge Walker’s Critics — Divorced From Reason
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Judge Walker’s well-reasoned decision
Has been met with gay-bashing derision:
He’s “reportedly gay,”
So was biased their way.
Oh, just straight guys have unbiased vision?
Tags: Bias Humor, Gay Marriage, Judge Vaughn Walker, Judiciary Humor, Legal Satire, Litigation Humor, Perry V. Schwarzenegger, Proposition 8
Posted in California Satire, Constitution Humor, Gay Rights, Law Satire, Legal Limericks, Political Limericks, Social Satire | 8 Comments »
August 3rd, 2010
I don’t meant to minimize the importance of the Congressional ethics charges against Rep. Charlie Rangel. But I can’t help wondering why the media can’t spare just a bit of space to cover the FBI’s criminal investigation into Sen. John Ensign. Hey journalists — I thought you liked covering juicy scandals involving money and sex.
That brings me to my latest limerick:
Why So “Liberal” With Charlie Rangel Coverage?
By Madeleine Begun Kane
I’ve a question dear journos — a gem.
And kindly don’t haw and don’t hem.
Where’s your cov’rage of Ensign?
You sure love dispensin’
The dirt on Rep. Rangel — the Dem.
Tags: Charlie Rangel, Double Standards, Ethics, FBI, John Ensign, Media Bias, Media Humor, Nevada, New York
Posted in Congress Humor, Corruption Humor, Crime, John Ensign, Media Satire, Nevada Humor, New York Politics, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire | 1 Comment »
August 3rd, 2010
President Obama is hoping Americans won’t have “selective memory” and blame him for problems he inherited from Bush. Unfortunately they do, as this poll illustrates:
Only about a third of Americans (34%) know that the government’s bailout of banks and financial institutions was enacted under the Bush administration. Nearly half (47%) incorrectly say that the Troubled Asset Relief Program – widely known as TARP – was signed into law by President Obama.
And you can bet that the bailout misinformation percentage is a lot higher for the virulently anti-bailout crowd. It sure would be nice if they knew the truth about the bailout:
For the record, the financial industry bailout passed in October 2008. It was requested by a conservative Republican administration (George W. Bush and Dick Cheney). It was enthusiastically endorsed by the House Republican leadership (John Boehner, Eric Cantor, and Roy Blunt), the Senate Republican leadership (Mitch McConnell and Jon Kyl), both members of the Republican presidential ticket (John McCain and Sarah Palin), and assorted, high-profile conservative voices (Mitt Romney and Glenn Beck).
That leads me to my latest limerick:
Selective Memories Bail Out Bush
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Disliking Obama is fine,
But please be correct when you whine.
Don’t like bailouts of banks?
It’s to Bush you owe “thanks.”
Was it signed by Obama? No! Nein!
Tags: Bank Bailout, Barack Obama, Economy Satire, Financial Bailout, Financial Verse, George W. Bush, Selective Memory, TARP
Posted in Barack Obama, Business Humor, Economy Humor, Fiscal Policy, George Bush Satire, Money & Finance Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Polls, TARP Humor, Tax & Budget Humor, White House | No Comments »
July 18th, 2010
Republicans have a cute little “deficit hawk” scam going: They “block extended aid to the unemployed, while simultaneously pushing for massive tax cuts for the wealthy.”
How do they justify this? According to Republican leaders like Mike Pence and Jon Kyl, the former has to be offset by spending cuts, but the latter, due to some mysterious mix of magic and voodoo, doesn’t.
It’s time for a new limerick:
The GOP’s Honesty Deficit
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Though the GOP deficit hawks
Are famed for “must pay for it” squawks,
They nix plugging the hole
Caused by tax cuts. How droll!
Yes, that’s how hypocrisy talks.
Tags: Deficit Hawks, Economy Satire, Financial Verse, Jon Kyl, Mike Pence, Republican Hypocrisy, Republicans Humor, Tax Cuts, Unemployment Benefits, Voodoo Economics
Posted in Economy Humor, Fiscal Policy, GOP Humor, Hypocrisy Humor, Money & Finance Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, Tax & Budget Humor | 10 Comments »
July 14th, 2010
As I wrote Monday, David Vitter has an unexpected primary fight on his hands. Well, apparently he’s now so desperate to hold on to the wingnut vote, that he’s turned into a full-fledged Birther.
At a town hall event Sunday, he made it clear that he backs Birther lawsuits challenging President Obama’s citizenship, saying he supports “conservative legal organizations and others who would bring that to court.”
That brings me to my latest David Vitter limerick:
The Birth Of Lunacy
By Madeleine Begun Kane
David Vitter has told us his view
Of the Birther position, on cue.
He profoundly approves
And says it behooves
Those with standing to sue, baby, sue.
Tags: Birthers, David Vitter, Legal Verse, Wingnuts
Posted in Barack Obama, Birther Humor, David Vitter, Election Satire, GOP Humor, Law Satire, Legal Limericks, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, White House, Wingnuts | 7 Comments »
July 12th, 2010
So far, Senator David Vitter of Louisiana has survived several scandals ranging from soliciting a prostitute from the “D.C. Madam,” to keeping a “women’s issues” aide (Brent Furer) on staff who allegedly held his girlfriend hostage at knifepoint.
But now he’s confronting a brand new challenge — a last minute, unexpected primary fight launched by retired Judge Chet Traylor.
And that brings me to my latest two-verse limerick:
David Vitter’s Traylor Travails
By Madeleine Begun Kane
The scandal-scarred Senator Vitter
Got struck with a last minute hitter:
A primary fight
From the GOP’s right.
Now he’s bitter. I read it on Twitter.
Chet Traylor has pulled off this filing,
And bus’nesses find him beguiling—
Former judge who’s a fan
Of the sodomy ban.
And that’s why Dave Vitter ain’t smiling.
Tags: Chet Traylor, David Vitter, Election Humor, Louisiana, Republican Primary
Posted in Campaign Humor, David Vitter, Election Satire, GOP Humor, Political Limericks, Republicans Humor, Senate Satire | 3 Comments »
July 2nd, 2010
Americans gaze at the sky
On a hot, muggy 4th of July,
Watching fireworks flash
At a flag-waving bash—
A brief respite from life gone awry.
Tags: 4th Of July, Celebrations Poetry, Fireworks, Holiday Verse, Independence Day, Patriotism Humor
Posted in Patriotism Poems | 4 Comments »
June 30th, 2010
Way back in 1999, President Bill Clinton nominated a brilliant lawyer for a seat on the federal appeals court based in the District of Columbia.
Alas, that lawyer never got to the D.C. bench. Indeed, the brilliant nominee never even got to testify before the Senate Judiciary Committee.
You see, the lawyer suffered from a fatal flaw — she’d been named by a Democratic President, and her appointment would shift the balance of a very important court. So Republican Senator Orrin Hatch, as chairman of the Senate Judiciary Committee, blocked her nomination, refusing to schedule a hearing.
Disappointed but undaunted, the brilliant lawyer pursued other legal opportunities over the years and achieved great success.
More than a decade after this ill-fated nomination, the federal bench beckoned once again. But this time it was a nomination to the highest court of the land.
Getting a hearing wasn’t a problem this time. A hearing where Senator Hatch and his fellow Republicans would look askance at the brilliant lawyer, complaining she lacked the very judicial experience they had denied her.
Who was that brilliant lawyer? Elena Kagan.
And now you know… the rest of the story.
Related Posts: Robin Ghivan Makes Me Cross, Why I’ll Never Be A Supreme Court Justice, Leery About Elena, and Obama’s What???
Tags: Bill Clinton, Elena Kagan, Judiciary Satire, Legal Humor, Orrin Hatch, Paul Harvey Parody, Supreme Court
Posted in Elena Kagan, Law Satire, Legal Limericks, Orrin Hatch, Political Limericks, Senate Satire, Supreme Court | 1 Comment »
June 30th, 2010
Those Sorry Republicans
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Just what’s the Republican mission?
To oppose each Obama position.
He gets tough on BP—
Gets an escrow, then see
Their response to the BP contrition:
Reps Joe Barton and Bachman and Price
By default claimed Obama ain’t nice.
He’s been mean to BP.
It a shakedown, you see.
Cuz unthinking objection’s their vice.
But fighting this fund makes no sense.
To do so’s an error immense.
The people approve.
It’s a positive move,
And opposing it makes them look dense.
Even Boehner and co seem to know
That defending BP’s a no-go.
Strikes a terrible tone,
So they rushed to disown
The pro-BP speech made by Joe.
But a hundred-plus others expressed
The same viewpoint in print. Not addressed!
It seems Boehner and co
Are pretending as though
The have solved their BP PR test.
It is clear where Republicans stand.
They are naught but a pro-corp’rate brand.
They put citizens last
And are only aghast
When a Dem gives the people a hand.
Related Posts: Kick-Ass Limerick, Haley’s Barbaric Attitude and Oily Obstruction.
Tags: Barack Obama, BP, Gulf Of Mexico, Joe Barton, John Boehner, Michele Bachmann, Oil Disasters, Republicans Humor, Shakedown, Tom Price
Posted in Barack Obama, GOP Humor, John Boehner, Michele Bachmann, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, Wingnuts | 3 Comments »
June 10th, 2010
The language police are at it again. Republicans and Fox News (sorry to be redundant) are simply horrified at President Obama’s “unpresidential” language.
What are they so pretend-upset about? Obama used the word ass in response to Matt Lauer’s oil crisis question about kicking butt.
Apparently this is extremely shocking to the same folks who had no problem with f**ks from Bush, Cheney, and McCain.
That brings me to my latest limerick:
Kick-Ass Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
The Republicans’ delicate ears
Are offended by ass, it appears.
F**k is fine from McCain,
Bush, and Cheney — that’s plain.
But ass from Barack begets jeers.
Tags: Barack Obama, Dick Cheney Satire, Fox News Satire, John McCain, Language Police, Language Satire, Matt Lauer, Republican Hypocrisy
Posted in Barack Obama, Campaign Humor, Dick Cheney Satire, Election Satire, Etiquette Humor, Fox News Humor, GOP Humor, George Bush Satire, John McCain, Language Humor, Media Satire, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, White House | 5 Comments »
June 10th, 2010
Harry Reid sure caught a lucky break Tuesday: Nevada’s looniest would-be Senator won the Republican nomination. Yes, Senator Reid’s opponent will be the wingnutty Sharron Angle, a woman with views so odd, she almost manages to make Rand Paul look semi-normal.
Nevada’s Wingnut Angle (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Harry’s hopes for November looked bleak,
With Republican odds at their peak.
But he’ll easily wrangle
The wacky Ms. Angle.
Thank you, wingnuts, for picking a freak.
Tags: Campaign Satire, Election Humor, Harry Reid, Nevada, Rand Paul, Senate Satire, Sharron Angle, Wingnuts
Posted in Campaign Humor, Election Satire, GOP Humor, George Bush Satire, Harry Reid, Media Satire, Nevada Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Rand Paul, Republicans Humor, White House, Wingnuts | 1 Comment »
June 7th, 2010
It turns out that Mark Kirk’s problems with the truth go well beyond exaggerating his military resume. As the Chicago Sun-Times reports, the Illinois Republican nominee for U.S. Senate has a habit of telling international tall tales about Iranian oil imports, France’s handling of pirates, and the China-drilling-for-oil-off-the-Cuban-coast fable.
Are these deliberate lies? Or is Mark Kirk woefully ill-informed? I’m not sure, but neither explanation would speak well of a would-be senator who’s ostensibly an expert in foreign affairs.
That brings me to my latest limerick:
Kirk’s “Factual” Quirks
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Mark Kirk is astoundingly lax
When he spouts international “facts.”
Be it China or France
Or Iranian rants,
He’s deceptive and wrong to the max.
Tags: Campaign Satire, China, Cuba, Election Humor, France, Illinois, Iran, Mark Kirk, Pirates, Tall Tales
Posted in Campaign Humor, China Humor, Election Satire, Foreign Policy, Mark Kirk, National Security Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor | 8 Comments »
June 3rd, 2010
Okay, so we have two Senatorial candidates who’ve pumped up their military records — Republican Mark Kirk of Illinois and Democrat Richard Blumenthal of Connecticut. We also have the horrified Republican Senator Orrin Hatch, who’s hatched the upright-sounding Stolen Valor Act. Just one problem: According to Hatch, it would criminalize Blumenthal’s behavior but (surprise, surprise) not Kirk’s.
Hatching Hypocrisy (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
When a pol says he fought for our land
And exaggerates, bolst’ring his brand,
That’s a crime, says Sen Hatch.
But of course there’s a catch:
Only Dems need obey this command.
Update: One of my few Republican Facebook friends, Rob Hood, posted a limerick response in Facebook asserting that I engage in anti-GOP gloating. Here’s my limerick rejoinder:
I’m a Dem, but I’m surely not gloating.
There’s no reason for happy emoting.
Though the GOP’s worse
Than the Dems, here’s our curse:
Most pols do not merit our voting.
Tags: Campaign Satire, Election Humor, Mark Kirk, Military Record, Orrin Hatch, Republican Hypocrisy, Republicans Humor, Richard Blumenthal, Senate Humor, Stolen Valor Act
Posted in Campaign Humor, Election Satire, Legislation Humor, Mark Kirk, Military Humor, Orrin Hatch, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Senate Satire | 5 Comments »
Haley’s Barbaric Attitude
June 8th, 2010While Govs. Bobby Jindal (R-La.), Charlie Crist (I-Fla.), and Bob Riley (R-Ala.) seem to take the Gulf oil spill crisis very seriously, Mississippi Gov. Haley Barbour (R) has been downplaying the disaster, talking as if it’s a fictitious crisis created by the media.
For instance, according to Barbour, “tar balls are no big deal.”
That brings me to my latest limerick:
Haley’s Barbaric Attitude
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Don’t worry, be happy, says Haley,
In spite of the news we get daily.
Just ignore the press squeal.
The spill’s no big deal.
Must be nice to view crises so gaily.
Related Post: Oily Obstruction
Tags: Bob Riley, Bobby Jindal, BP, Charlie Crist, Environment, Gulf Of Mexico, Haley Barbour, Media Humor, Mississippi, Oil Disasters, Tourism
Posted in Energy Humor, Environment Satire, GOP Humor, George Bush Satire, Media Satire, Political Commentary, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, White House | 4 Comments »