Election Season (Limerick)

April 24th, 2015

Election Season (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Watch cowardly pols run away
From positions they used to display.
And the liars’ technique
Is denial with pique.
Either way, they hold journos at bay.

Making Discrimination ExPENCive (Limerick)

March 31st, 2015

I’m pleased that business clout and boycott threats are causing Indiana’s Gov. Pence and the state legislature to revisit Indiana’s “religious freedom” law.

But wouldn’t it be nice if corporations had a similar response to other forms of discrimination? Laws that make it harder for women to get birth control or have an abortion, to name just two.

Making Discrimination ExPENCive (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Seems a lesson’s been learned by Gov. Pence:
Biased laws can cost dollars and cents.
Biz will fight for gay rights.
Now it’s time for some fights
Against anti-gal laws to commence.

Open Limerick To Louie Gohmert

March 27th, 2015

Alas, it seems Louie Gohmert was just kidding the other day when he mentioned possibly running for president. Damn!

Open Limerick To Louie Gohmert
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Louie Gohmert, I’m begging you, run.
Your voice in the race would be fun!
Next to you, Trump and Ted
Seem nigh “right in the head.”
Then again, where’d we be if you won?

Open Limerick To Lindsey Graham

March 25th, 2015

You’re just not gonna believe who’s to blame for GOP inaction on climate change.

According to Sen. Lindsey Graham (R-SC), it’s Al Gore’s fault.

Here’s Graham: “the problem is Al Gore’s turned this thing into religion. You know, climate change is not a religious problem for me, it’s an economic, it is an environmental problem.”

Open Limerick To Lindsey Graham
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Dear Lindsey, you’re loony — full-bore;
Only nuts would lay blame on Al Gore
For the GOP’s ’tude
About climate change, dude.
Who’s at fault? It’s your Dem-hating corps.

Open Limerick To Ted Cruz

March 23rd, 2015

Open Limerick To Ted Cruz
By Madeleine Begun Kane

My muse and I thank you, Ted Cruz.
We’re enthused by your news. No more blues!
I’m infused with elation.
You’re bruising our nation,
But your run means we rhymers can’t lose.

Political Tidbits

March 21st, 2015

Glenn Beck just announced that he’s quitting the Republican Party.

It seems the GOP isn’t quite crazy enough for him.

*****

To prove he really means it this time, Donald Trump is forming a presidential exploratory committee.

Some circuses just can’t have too many rings.

*****

Dear Rand Paul, I don’t live in Kentucky,
And I think that you’re far worse than yucky.
Why’s your newsletter clogging
My email and dogging
My bandwidth with viewpoints so sucky?

*****

Facts can be pesky
and undermine views.
But the right just discards them
like old, worn out shoes.

*****

In a Playboy interview, Dick Cheney said Obama is “the worst president of my lifetime”.

I could have sworn that title belonged to Cheney.

*****

Why don’t I call
the GOP pols heartless?
I hate redundancy.

*****

Re Matt McLaughlin’s gays-killing CA ballot initiative, doesn’t his “Sodomite Suppression Act” deserve a “Matt McLaughlin Suppression Act?”

*****
Alaska Republican Rep. Don Young suggested letting wolves loose to cure the homeless problem.

What a foxy way to angle for a job at Fox News!

*****

The duped marks wallow
in hollow crap they swallow
from pols they follow.

*****

Conservative commentator Dinesh D’Souza has denounced Hillary Clinton’s “lawlessness.”

But I think D’Souza is just lonely serving time for violating campaign finance laws.

*****

Sudden clarity
of thought and reason in pols–
Can’t a gal dream?

*****

Wisconsin Gov. Scott Walker has signed a “Right-to-Work” law, a/k/a the “Right to Destroy Unions by Reaping Benefits Without Paying Dues” law.

******

GOP hucksters
hock our nation’s future
to gain/maintain power.

*****

Minimum Wage Wars (Limerick)

March 19th, 2015

The Republican presidential contender position re federal minimum wage ranges from abolition (Rick Perry and Marco Rubio) to keeping it frozen at $7.25 forever (Jeb Bush’s clarified position, according to the AP.)

Minimum Wage Wars
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Shall we raise the fed minimum wage?
Just the thought makes Republicans rage.
Then there’s Rubio and Perry
Who’d love to make merry
By scrapping that federal gauge.

Santorum’s Stupidity of Biblical Proportions (Limerick)

March 18th, 2015

For a lawyer, Rick Santorum seems clueless about the U.S. Constitution.

Rick Santorum proclaims, “Yes we can,”
Force his bible on schools — that’s his plan.
Rick forgets the Supremes
8 to 1 banned such schemes…
Else the gov could impose the Koran.

Open Limerick to Lindsey Graham

March 11th, 2015

Senator Lindsey Graham actually bragged that he never uses email because he’s too busy thinking through problems.

Open Limerick to Lindsey Graham
By Madeleine Begun Kane

If you never use email, that’s great,
Lindsey Graham, but please don’t conflate
It with being a thinker.
You’re naught but an inker,
Sticking staff with the crap on your plate.

The Republican’s Open Limerick To Iran

March 9th, 2015

Forty-seven Republican Senators have done something both appalling and unprecedented: They communicated directly with Iran in order to undermine Obama’s nuclear arms negotiations.

Now it’s one thing to try to convince Obama that Iran can’t be trusted to comply with a nuclear arms deal, or to try to impede an arms deal legislatively. But it’s quite another to essentially tell Iran not to bother complying because Obama deals aren’t worth the paper they’re printed on.

And the latter is precisely what they did. Here’s their open written message to Iran’s leaders, translated into a limerick:

Dear Iranian leaders, Obama
Might make you a nuke deal with drama.
But don’t bother to heed it.
We plan to defeat it.
So it’s worthless — each, word, clause, and comma.

Most Want President to Have a High School Diploma (Updated)

March 2nd, 2015

Most Want President to Have a High School Diploma

A new Public Opinion Polling survey finds that 62% of voters think it’s important for the President to have a high school diploma, compared to only 31% who think it doesn’t matter.

Interesting: “There’s a large partisan divide on the issue: Democrats by an 81%-14% spread think it’s important, while Republicans are evenly divided on the matter at 45%-45%.”

When asked to respond to this poll, Wisconsin Governor Scott Walker said, “Only elitists and ISIS supporters would buy into that requirement, whereas Senator Rand Paul said, “Have I mentioned that I’m a doctor?”

Former Texas Governor Rick Perry, a fellow presidential hopeful, disagreed with both men, saying “Don’t glasses make me look smart?”

*****

UPDATE: I was chagrined to learn that my column has fallen afoul of Poe’s Law. What the heck is Poe’s Law? The “literary adage which stipulates that without a clear indicator of an author’s intended sarcasm it becomes impossible to tell the difference between an expression of sincere extremism and a parody of extremism.”

So for anyone who read this and accepted the poll as real and/or any of the quotes as real, this is hundred percent parody. It was inspired by an actual poll related to whether people believe a U.S. President should have a college degree.

UPDATE 2:

Poe’s Law compressed into a haiku:

In extremist times
reality/parody
appear to have merged.

Why Republicans Embolden Our Enemies (Limerick)

February 23rd, 2015

Why Republicans Embolden Our Enemies (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A government shutdown sounds sordid,
And I’m hoping it’s somehow aborted.
But the House GOP
Views the dangers with glee;
They assume they’ll again be rewarded.

The “Mistakes Were Made” Game (Limerick)

February 19th, 2015

The “Mistakes Were Made” Game (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Simply playing the passive voice game
Is a popular way to dodge blame.
The “mistakes were made” line
Is the best tell-tale sign
That slipp’ry evasion’s your aim.

Leadership? (Limerick)

February 11th, 2015

Leadership? (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

The words of most pols seem so hollow.
They say little I’m able to swallow.
All those lines that they feed us
While trying to lead us
Persuade me it’s best not to follow.

Limerick Ode to Science Disbelievers plus Sundry Haiku

February 3rd, 2015

Limerick Ode To Science Disbelievers
By Madeleine Begun Kane

The Republican problem with science
Is their members respond with defiance
To facts that are proved.
(Have their brains been removed?)
They spread lies to excuse non-compliance.

*****

Refusing vaccines,
Don’t-Tell-Me-What-To-Doers
now infect us all.

*****

Exodus of thought–
an exodus of science–
the GOP way.

*****

Misinformation
delib’rately spread by Fox–
blindly accepted.

*****

Republican pols–
implacable enemy
of fairness and facts.

******

The truth-challenged pols
have taken over Congress–
therein LIES the rub.

*****

Mitt Bows Out (Limerick)

January 31st, 2015

Mitt Bows Out (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Mitt Romney won’t run. What a blow!
He took stock and decided no-go.
Now I won’t get to mock
His new populist crock
As the dough flows to Dubya’s bro.

My 1991 “Ode To A Perplexed Governor” as published in New York Newsday (With Apologies to William Shakespeare)

January 2nd, 2015

I was very saddened to hear that former New York Governor Mario Cuomo has died. He was a fine governor and might very well have been a good president or U.S. Supreme Court Justice.

In reading his obits, I recalled that back in 1991 I wrote a Hamlet-style soliloquy for New York Newsday, related to Mario Cuomo’s indecisiveness about running for president. So I dug it out of my ancient archives, and here it is:

To run, or not to run: that is the question:
Whether ’tis nobler in the mind to suffer
The slings and arrows of outrageous deficits
Or to take arms against a sea of Republicans,
And by opposing, defeat them. To reign at home:
Or to sleep at home no more: and by running to say we’ll end
The fiscal heart-ache, and the thousand natural shocks
The northeast is heir to, ’tis a consummation
Devoutly to be wish’d. To quit, to run;
To run: perchance to lose: ay, there’s the rub;
For in that White House quest what brutal press may come,
When we have shuttled off this Albany soil,
Must give us pause: there’s the respect
That makes calamity of so long New York;
For who would bear the whips and scorns of time,
The opponent’s wrong, the public abuse,
The pangs of disprized voters, the law’s delay,
The insolence of office, and the spurns
That Democrats suffer from the media snakes,
If the Governor simply plays it safe
In the comfort of his Statehouse? Who would those burdens bear,
To drone that keynote speech night after night,
But that the dread of a crash in ’93 ,
A wrecked economy from whose depths
There is no return, puzzles the will,
And makes us rather bear those ills we have
Than fly to Washington finding who knows what?
Thus conscience does make cowards of us all,
And thus the native hue of resolution
Is sicklied o’er with fear of the polls,
And primaries of great pitch and moment
Seem less appealing as we fear each loss
And lose through sheer inaction.

Having It Both Ways (Limerick)

December 29th, 2014

Having It Both Ways (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Claim “Obama’s economy’s” sick?
Then take credit for upswings? How slick!
But my dear GOPers,
It doesn’t take seers
To know that you really must pick.

A Holiday Of Sorts (Limerick)

December 27th, 2014

A Holiday Of Sorts (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

How I savored my marvelous break
From political venom — each snake
Of a pol now defanged,
And no one harangued.
At the time, though, I wasn’t awake.

Note: This limerick started out as haiku, inspired by the Twitter prompt word “venom.” But just as I was about to post it, I noticed I’d placed the word “break” (which has tons of rhyme words) at the end of line one. And it occurred to me to try to turn it into a limerick. Of course, as soon as the rhyme word “awake” hit me, I had my last line. So NOT writing a limerick would have been criminal.

Here’s my original haiku:

Imagine a break
from political venom–
puffed up pols defanged.

***

Here’s this year’s excellent roundup of some of the best posts from liberal blogs, chosen by the bloggers themselves.

#jonswift2014

Better Late Than Never! (Limerick)

December 19th, 2014

Better Late Than Never! (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Immigration and Cuba, oh my!
Net neutrality, China, oh why
Did Obama delay
His assertive display?
Welcome boldness! To meekness, goodbye!