May 21st, 2013
Limerick Ode To Republican Scandal-Mongers
By Madeleine Begun Kane
The GOP feeling is heady;
Obama’s a goner — they’re ready
To exploit and destroy.
They can taste it — Oh, boy!
Yet Obama’s approval is steady.
I suspect that Americans sense
The piled-on distortions immense—
That the calls to impeach
Are a huge overreach
By pols on incessant offense.
Tags: Barack Obama, GOP Lies, Obama Verse, Political Limerick, Political Polls, Republicans Limerick, Scandal Mongers
Posted in Barack Obama, GOP Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, Scandals Humor | No Comments »
May 16th, 2013
Pat Robertson can always be counted on to say weird things and give bad advice. Yesterday’s “700 Club” TV broadcast was no exception.
In response to a spurned wife’s question, Robertson essentially said that a man strays because he’s a man. And that instead of focusing on spousal cheating, a wife should make the house so enticing that her husband doesn’t want to stray.
Pat counsels spurned wives to appreciate the positive:
“Does he provide a home for you to live in,” Robertson said. ‘Does he provide food for you to eat? Does he provide clothes for you to wear? Is he nice to the children… Is he handsome?”
Limerick Ode To Pat Robertson, Marriage Counselor
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Dear gals, if your husband has strayed,
There’s no need to feel mad and betrayed:
Be grateful instead
That he pays for your bed.
That’s Pat Robertson’s notion of aid.
Tags: 700 Club, Family Values, Infidelity, Marriage Satire, Media Humor, Pat Robertson, Religion Humor
Posted in Family Values Humor, Media Satire, Political Limericks, Religious Satire | 2 Comments »
May 6th, 2013
Enough With The Lame Questions! (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Here’s a question that’s making me weary:
“Is Barack a lame duck?” — that’s the query.
Pundits ask this with drama,
While blaming Obama.
The true culprits (like Boehner) ain’t teary.
Tags: Barack Obama, GOP Humor, John Boehner, Lame Duck, Media Humor, Pundit Humor, Republicans Humor, Talking Heads
Posted in Barack Obama, GOP Humor, John Boehner, Media Satire, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, White House | 2 Comments »
May 1st, 2013
Even though I have no use for porn, I do have a soft spot for Hustler publisher Larry Flynt.
Why?
1: Throughout the George W. Bush administration, he linked to my parody Dubya’s Dayly Diary from the home page of his personal site.
2: Larry Flynt is a lefty who pulls the occasional very amusing stunt.
Larry Flynt’s latest caper is an obviously satirical endorsement of former South Carolina Gov. Mark Sanford in his race against Democrat Elizabeth Colbert Busch for U.S. Congress.
He couldn’t possibly have given Elizabeth Colbert Busch a lovelier gift.
Sanford, who gained national prominence in 2009 as governor of South Carolina when he abruptly abandoned his duties for a secret rendezvous with his mistress, is currently running against Democrat Elizabeth Colbert Busch for South Carolina’s 1st Congressional District seat. The election will take place on May 7.
In a statement released today, Flynt calls Sanford “the sex pioneer of our time.” In Flynt’s eyes “no one has done more to expose the sexual hypocrisy of traditional values in America today. Sanford’s open embrace of his mistress in the name of love, breaking his sacred marriage vows, was an act of bravery that has drawn my support.” Chastising the Republican Party for not backing Sanford following his run-off victory, Flynt declared: “I am willing to step in and stand erect for Mark Sanford.”
An Endorsement Mark Sanford Hopes Nobody Will Notice (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A man known for porn — Larry Flynt
Has endorsed Gov. Mark Sanford in print,
As a “sex pioneer,”
With a glint and a leer.
Endorsements like this you can’t mint.
Tags: Campaign Satire, Congress Humor, Election Humor, Elizabeth Colbert Busch, Endorsements Humor, George W. Bush, Larry Flynt, Mark Sanford, Media Humor, Porn Humor, Republicans Humor, South Carolina
Posted in Campaign Humor, Election Satire, George Bush Satire, GOP Humor, Mark Sanford, Media Satire, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, South Carolina Humor | 2 Comments »
April 29th, 2013
Who’s paying Oklahoma Senator James Inhofe to invent and spread lies about Obama stockpiling bullets to deprive 2nd Amendment huggers of ammunition? The gun industry? The bullet industry? Both? Surely he’s not doing it solely because he’s an idiotic conspiracy theorist. Or is he?
Limerick Ode To James Inhofe
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Buy bullets before there’s none left—
All bought up by Barack — you bereft:
That’s conspiracy loon
Jim Inhofe’s new tune;
At making up lies, the guy’s deft.
Tags: Barack Obama, Conspiracy Theories, Constitution Verse, Gun Control, Gun Humor, Jim Inhofe, Oklahoma, Second Amendment
Posted in Barack Obama, Constitution Humor, Firearms & Guns Humor, GOP Humor, James Inhofe Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor | 6 Comments »
April 17th, 2013
It’s pathetic how many respected news outlets published false reports today of an arrest in the Boston Marathon bombings.
Inaccurate Arrest Reports Need To Be Arrested (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Dear news outlets, use some restraint:
Stop reporting arrests, when there ain’t.
Publish news, and NOT litter.
You’re far worse than Twitter,
And your need to be first leaves a taint.
Tags: Arrests Limerick, Boston, Boston Bombings, Boston Marathon, Boston Marathon Attack, False News Reports, FBI, Massachusetts, Media Humor, Terrorism
Posted in FBI Humor, Media Satire, Political Limericks, Terrorism | 4 Comments »
April 17th, 2013
Rep. Steve King (R–Iowa) is a perfect example of how NOT to react to the Boston bombings. According to the fence and deportation-loving Steve King, the mere possibility that the bomber(s) might be foreign means that immigration reform should be delayed and that reform could endanger the public.
King-Sized Exploitation (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Give Steve King a terrific ovation
For his masterful bomb exploitation:
In the absence of facts,
He conflates the attacks
With immigration reform in our nation.
He’s been anti-reform all along.
Now he sings a delay-reform song,
Cuz the bomber, he claims,
Might be foreign. He aims
To spread terror himself — that’s so wrong.
Tags: Boston, Boston Bombings, Boston Marathon, Boston Marathon Attack, Immigration Reform, Iowa, Massachusetts, Steve King, Terrorism
Posted in GOP Humor, Immigration Reform, Iowa Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, Steve King, Terrorism | 1 Comment »
April 9th, 2013
There’s a striking difference between the website homepages of the DCCC (Democratic Congressional Campaign Committee) and the NRCC (National Republican Congressional Committee): The most prominent words (by size and location) on the DCCC site are Democrats 2014. But the only reference to Republicans on the NRCC site is buried on the bottom in the “paid for by” disclaimer.
So, do House Republicans have something to hide?
Republican Campaign Oversight? (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Seems the NRCC’s feeling shame:
How else to explain that the name
Of its party’s not bold,
But lost under the fold
Of a site meant to shore up its game.
Tags: Campaign Satire, Congress Humor, DCCC, Democratic Congressional Campaign Committee, Election Humor, House Republican, National Republican Congressional Committee, NRCC, Republican Reboot, Republican Rebranding
Posted in Campaign Humor, Congress Humor, Election Satire, GOP Humor, House Satire, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor | 1 Comment »
April 8th, 2013
Once again, Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid is making threats about filibuster reform — this time with noise about the “nuclear option.” All I can say is: Blah, blah, blah!
Limerick Ode To Harry “Big Talker” Reid
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Harry Reid is again voicing threats
To reform Senate rules. Oh yes, let’s!
But his words have no stock,
As Republicans block
Most Dem action — abuse Reid abets.
Tags: Filibuster Humor, Harry Reid, Legislation Satire, Reform, U.S. Senate
Posted in Filibuster Humor, GOP Humor, Harry Reid, Legislation Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, Senate Satire | 1 Comment »
April 4th, 2013
My bearded husband will be pleased to hear about this new BEARD PAC. It’s been launched to support bearded candidates of any party, with the ultimate goal of getting a beard back into the Oval Office:
“It’s been 125 years since our last bearded President, Benjamin Harrison, was elected,” BEARD PAC Communications Director Andy Shapero said. “We’re hoping that with our support, bearded individuals will shrug off over a century of political irrelevance and start running for office again.”
Hairy Proposition (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
If you’re bearded and want to be prez,
There’s a PAC that might back you, that says
Facial hair is a must
And nude chins are a bust.
I suggest they Ben Harrison rez.*
* My apologies, but I found this Second Life reference irresistible, even though I wouldn’t even know what “rez” means without the help of the Urban Dictionary.
Tags: Andy Shapero, BEARD, Bearded Politicians, Benjamin Harrison, Campaign Satire, Oval Office, Political Action Committee, Political Candidates, Political Humor, Political PAC, Role Playing, Second Life, Urban Dictionary, White House
Posted in Campaign Humor, Election Satire, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, White House | Comments Off
April 3rd, 2013
As long as the GOP’s packed with headline-grabbing wingnuts like Michele Bachmann, the Republican reboot’s going nowhere:
Attention, GOP: Your rebranding attempts are being undercut by a segment of your party getting big headlines and lots of airtime — a segment symbolized by the Minnesota quote-machine, Rep. Michele Bachmann. Due to a series of gaffes, she is again on the receiving end of criticism, including from Fox News powerhouse Bill O’Reilly. The congresswoman is also, as reported by The Daily Beast’s John Avlon, “embroiled in a litany of legal proceedings related to her rolling disaster of a presidential campaign — including an Office of Congressional Ethics investigation into campaign improprieties.”
…She speaks in apocalyptic terms about President Obama and Democrats. She has never met an inaccuracy or exaggeration she didn’t like in her thirst to negatively define the other side. (Fact-checkers following her speeches may soon have to seek workmen’s compensation.)…
Rebootus Interruptus (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
The GOP wants to reboot—
Switch its image from crazy old coot
To something appealing,
More meanness-concealing—
A change that its zealots refute.
Tags: Congress Humor, Fox News, GOP Humor, Michele Bachmann, Minnesota, Religious Zealotry, Republican Hypocrisy, Republican Reboot, Republican Rebranding, Wingnuts
Posted in GOP Humor, Michele Bachmann, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, Wingnuts | 3 Comments »
April 1st, 2013
If you’re a Colorado spouse abuser, take heart: Republicans have vowed to protect your right to bear arms against Dem meanies, who mean to take it away.
Clueless In Colorado (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Good news for domestic abusers,
Bad news for their victim-accusers:
Colorado is where
The Republicans swear
To guard gun rights for battering bruisers.
Tags: Assault Weapons, Battering Spouses, Colorado, Domestic Abuse, Family Values, Firearms, Gun Control, Gun Humor, Gun Laws, Gun Lobby, Gun Violence, Guns, National Rifle Association, NRA, Second Amendment, U.S. Constitution
Posted in Constitution Humor, Family Values Humor, Firearms & Guns Humor, GOP Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor | 7 Comments »
March 27th, 2013
Most experts seem to think the U.S. Supreme Court will strike down DOMA, thereby ending the federal ban on benefits to gay spouses. The question is: Will they do it based upon equal protection, or states’ rights? The former (seemingly supported by the four liberal Supremes) is vastly preferable, but the later appears more likely; the perennial swing judge, Justice Anthony Kennedy, is more of a states’ rights kinda guy.
Limerick Ode To DOMA’s Demise
By Madeleine Begun Kane
I’m GLAD to hear DOMA’s in trouble.
But will Justices safe in their bubble
Concede that it’s wrong,
Beat the gong, say so long
To treating gay couples like rubble?
Tags: Constitution Verse, Defense Of Marriage Act, DOMA, Equal Protection, Gay Marriage, Gay Rights, Homophobes, Justice Anthony Kennedy, Law Satire, Legal Humor, Marriage Equality, Same Sex Marriage, States Rights, Supreme Court Limerick
Posted in Constitution Humor, Gay Rights, Gender Politics, GOP Humor, Government Services, Homophobia, Law Satire, Legal Limericks, Legislation Humor, Minority Rights Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, Supreme Court | 2 Comments »
March 21st, 2013
I can only assume that when Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell looks in the mirror, he somehow sees a very youthful, attractive fellow. Otherwise he would surely avoid making this ageist, lookist, and sexist jab at Hillary Clinton:
“Finally, don’t tell me that Democrats are the party of the future when their presidential ticket for 2016 is shaping up to look like a rerun of the ‘Golden Girls,’” McConnell said in his morning address to CPAC, drawing laughter and applause.
Mitch’s Knucklehead Pitch (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Someone ought to inform Leader Mitch
Of his party’s new “lure women” pitch:
Saying Hillary C-run
Is Golden Girls rerun
Most likely won’t tempt us to switch.
Tags: Ageism, Election 2016, Feminist Limerick, Hillary Clinton, Lookism, Mitch McConnell, Presidential Election, Sexism
Posted in Ageism Humor, Election Satire, Feminism Humor, GOP Humor, Hillary Clinton, Mitt Romney Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, Social Satire, White House | 2 Comments »
March 20th, 2013
Rachel Maddow has temporarily sworn off speculating about Election 2016. But fortunately (or unfortunately) I’ve taken no such pledge:
Appalling Speculation (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
The Republican race in ’16
Could be Ryan v. Rand — what a scene!
Two Pauls in one bout –
Mass confusion, no doubt.
Neither one’s worth so much as a Bean.*
*Paul Ryan’s anti-abortion rhetoric included a claim that he nicknamed his daughter Liza “Bean” because at seven weeks his “little baby was in the shape of a bean.” Ryan has been accused of stealing this anecdote from the late Nirvana frontman, Kurt Cobain.
Tags: Abortion Rights, Anti-Abortion Rhetoric, Bean, Election 2016, Kurt Cobain, Nirvana, Paul Ryan, Presidential Election, Rachel Maddow, Rand Paul
Posted in Abortion Rights, Election Satire, GOP Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor | 2 Comments »
March 14th, 2013
I sure hope you aren’t falling for the Republicans’ pretense of reforming themselves. Although they’ve been pretending to moderate themselves in order to attract women and Latinos, their policies are more brutally extreme than ever:
Don’t be fooled. On the ground, a very different reality is unfolding: In the Republican-led Congress, GOP-dominated statehouses and even before the nation’s highest court, the reactionary impulses of the Republican Party appear unbowed. Across the nation, the GOP’s severely conservative agenda – which seeks to impose job-killing austerity, to roll back voting and reproductive rights, to deprive the working poor of health care, and to destroy agencies that protect the environment from industry and consumers from predatory banks – is moving forward under full steam.
Limerick Ode To Republican “Reformers”
By Madeleine Begun Kane
The GOP’s steaming ahead
With plans that most people should dread.
Though they speak of reform,
They’re reverting to norm,
Thus ensuring we’re bled and unfed.
Tags: GOP Humor, Reform, Republicans Humor
Posted in GOP Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor | 4 Comments »
March 8th, 2013
John Boehner had a hissy fit over the sequester-caused suspension of White House tours.
“The President is trying to make it tough on members of Congress. It’s just silly. I want to know who is being laid off at the White House. The Capitol is open for tours. We’ve been planning for this for months.”
Perhaps Boehner should have spent those months planning to avoid sequestration.
(Note that the transcript originally read “It’s just sick.” Then at some point, “sick” was changed to “silly.” Since I don’t have access to the audio, I don’t know which one is accurate.)
Touring Boehner’s Brain (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
To save cash, White House tours are curtailed,
But the House tours have NOT been derailed.
So you still can have fun
Seeing nothing get done
On the Hill, watching nonsense unveiled.
Tags: Budget Cuts, Budget Limerick, Capitol Humor, Congress Humor, Congressional Tours, DC Tourism Humor, House Tours, John Boehner, Republicans Humor, Sequester Humor, Sequestration, Washington DC, White House Tours
Posted in Barack Obama, Congress Humor, GOP Humor, House Satire, John Boehner, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, White House | 3 Comments »
March 6th, 2013
Among the many lies told about Obama, is the well-debunked myth that he’s “lazy.” Sorry Roger Ailes, but you’re apparently confusing Obama with his predecessor.
Limerick Ode To Roger Ailes
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Roger Ailes says Obama is “lazy.”
Dear Roger, your memory’s hazy:
He’s vacationed way less
Than the fellow whose mess
He’s been fixing. You’re racist, or crazy.
Tags: Barack Obama, Fox News, George W. Bush, Lazy Pols, Media Humor, Racism, Roger Ailes
Posted in Barack Obama, Fox News Humor, George Bush Satire, GOP Humor, Media Satire, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor | 3 Comments »
March 5th, 2013
Republican creativity never ceases to amaze me. Here’s the latest in Iowa’s battle against teenage promiscuity:
Seven Republicans in the Iowa House are pushing a bill to prohibit parents of minor children from getting a “no fault” divorce and the proposal could be debated in a House committee this week.
A three-member subcommittee debated the bill today. Representative Tedd Gassman, a Republican from Scarville, said he’s concerned about the negative impact divorce has on children.
“In my opinion, it’s time to look out for the children instead of constantly worrying about the adults,” Gassman said.
Representative Gassman said the issue is “near and dear” to his heart because his daughter and son-in-law recently divorced, putting his granddaughter at risk.
“There’s a 16-year-old girl in this whole mix now. Guess what? What are the possibilities of her being more promiscuous?” Gassman said. “What are the possibilities of all these other things surrounding her life that a 16-year-old girl, with hormones raging, can get herself into?”
Promiscuous Law-Making (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
If your children are minors, watch out!
You may have to stay wed to that lout:
It seems no-fault divorce
May be nixed, as of course,
By Iowan wingnuts with clout.
Tags: Divorce, Iowa, Legal Humor, Legal Verse, No-Fault Divorce, Parents, Promiscuous Teens, Republicans Humor, Ted Gassman
Posted in Family Values Humor, GOP Humor, Iowa Humor, Law Satire, Legal Limericks, Legislation Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, Social Satire | 1 Comment »
March 4th, 2013
I’ve been meaning to write about Antonin Scalia’s obnoxious Voting Rights Act comments. Something tells me he’d be a bit more enthused about the law, if the people it protected tended to vote Republican.
Limerick Ode To Antonin Scalia
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Scalia gave quite the recital
With that “racial entitlement” title
He “bestowed” on the vote,
Fearing Dem voter bloat:
To Scalia, such voters ain’t vital.
Tags: Antonin Scalia, Discrimination, Law Satire, Legal Humor, Legal Verse, Racial Bias, Supreme Court Humor, Voting Limerick, Voting Rights Act, VRA
Posted in Constitution Humor, Democracy Humor, Election Satire, Entitlements Humor, GOP Humor, Judiciary Satire, Law Satire, Legal Limericks, Legislation Humor, Minority Rights Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Racism Limerick, Republicans Humor, Supreme Court, Voting Satire | 3 Comments »
