With their lies, guys like Donald Trump try us.
Prove them wrong, they just laugh and defy us.
They keep getting their way
Cuz there’s NO price to pay.
Call them out? They shout, “Media bias!”
With their lies, guys like Donald Trump try us.
The “liberal bias” lie is in full bloom this election cycle. And in its latest manifestation, RNC Chairman Reince Priebus and Hugh Hewitt would have us believe that the press is being really mean to Ben Carson, while treating Hillary Clinton with kid gloves.
Of course such assertions are so laughable, even Joe Scarborough is mocking them.
Hugh Hewitt and Reince look askance
At the Ben Carson cov’rage. Their stance:
It’s a lib-press vendetta!
Hill’s treated much bettah!
(Even Joe isn’t buying their rants.)
Carson’s dearth of credentials is stark,
And being the prez ain’t a lark.
But just mention his lack,
Ben’s response will be whack:
He says “amateurs built [Noah's] Ark.”
Ben Carson’s full Twitter quote is: “It is important to remember that amateurs built the Ark and it was the professionals that built the Titanic.”
Most press coverage about the “cleaning the barn” two-year “budget deal,” negotiated by Boehner as he was handing off his Speaker gig to Paul Ryan, is unduly optimistic. It tends to lull us into thinking that the opportunity for House wingnuts to wreak havoc has been largely eliminated for a substantial period of time.
But that really isn’t true. Why not? Because, generally speaking, there are three broad opportunities for Tea Party types to threaten or cause shutdowns.
1: Budget bills.
2: Debt ceiling crises.
3: Appropriation bills.
And, alas, only the first two items on that list were resolved, leaving ample opportunities for essential appropriation bills to be saddled with unacceptable riders. For instance, riders eliminating Obamacare or defunding Planned Parenthood, to name just two. In other words:
Right-wing Republicans can still pursue their goals through riders on appropriations bills—and, if they don’t get their way, shut down the government.
With Ryan as Speaker, don’t think
That we aren’t stuck right on the brink
Of Tea Party trouble.
It still can cause rubble
Through spending bills yet to gain ink.
The fact that the budget’s resolved
And the ceiling on debt ain’t involved,
Should not make you relieved.
If you are, you’re deceived,
Cuz the poison pill risk isn’t solved.
The House must appropriate cash,
Via bills which the wingnuts can trash
Through riders from guys
With Tea Party ties,
Turning programs we need into ash.
If that happens, then what can be done?
Only vetoes, and those aren’t fun.
But the blackmailing Hill
Can’t prevail on such bill!
Are there any good choices? Nay! None.
Who should quit after last night’s debate?
It was Jebbie’s worst showing, to date,
A performance dismaying.
His fans must be weighing
Their option to dump his dead weight.
Jeb’s attack on pal Rubio failed,
And at Marco’s retort, Jeb just flailed.
Then smooth sailing for Marco.
From Jeb? Not a spark! Oh,
Jeb’s run has been fully derailed.
Four recent polls (3 in Iowa, 1 national) show Ben Carson ahead of Trump, prompting Trump to claim that polls with so many candidates aren’t very scientific.
Unless they show Trump ahead, of course.
When The Donald tops polls, they’re “terrific!”
He runs second? They’re “unscientific.”
Cuz when Trump’s on the stump,
Though his number’s might slump,
His ego-laced lines stay prolific.
Jeb Bush is sounding bummed these days about the toxic nature of the race to be the Republican presidential nominee:
I’ve got a lot of really cool things I could do other than sit around, being miserable, listening to people demonize me and me feeling compelled to demonize them. That is a joke. Elect Trump if you want that.
It seems Jebbie objects to the slings
And arrows of primary swings;
Having chosen to run,
He just ain’t havin’ fun…
And would rather do “really cool things.”
That GOP slug-fest of jeering
Was a stamina-trial of a hearing,
For the GOP goal
Was to rattle and roll
HRC. But instead? Pro-Hill cheering.
And for those thinking Clinton’s too old
To be prez, they need only behold
The results of that test
Of endurance — she’d best
Hill’ry’s juniors — Olympian gold!
The Hillary haters are sad.
They were praying that Hill would do bad
At hearings designed
To put Hill in a bind
And malign, wear her down, drive her mad.
But Hillary won in a rout.
Trey Gowdy and co left no doubt
That her rep they must shatter.
To them, facts don’t matter
In their shamef’ly political bout.
I have read each Paul Ryan demand,
Which he labels “requests.” They won’t stand.
There is no way that raucous
So-called “Freedom Caucus”
Assents, and that’s Ryan’s scheme grand.
When you don’t want a job, then you’re free
To ask for the world, which you see
Is what Ryan has done.
They say “No?” Then he’s won…
And back to his old job he’ll flee.
Anyone else sick of the breathless “will he or won’t he” Biden stories? Well, not to be outdone by all that foolishness, the Washington Post “inadvertently published” a website story under this headline: “Biden to launch a presidential campaign.”
Biden cov’rage is dumb as it gets:
Now the Washington Post sends regrets
For its story proclaiming
Joe’s running. It’s blaming
A “technical glitch.” Cool your jets!
Most journos don’t bother to air
Real issues. That’s work they can’t bear!
Seems their duties they’re ceding.
Instead they keep feeding
Us nonsense. So reader beware!
Remember the guy who did nothing but complain about being cheated on time at the Democratic debate? He’s actually threatening to run as an independent.
Dear Senator Webb, get a grip!
In the polls you are barely a blip.
You’re so far from ascendant,
A run “independent”
Is nuts. Here’s a tip: You’ll get zip.
Though The Donald’s said many things bad,
Seems the one thing that makes Jebbie mad
Is when Donald Trump says
That Jeb’s brother was prez
On September 11th. The cad!
Dear Jim Webb, we are sick of your kvetching.
Your wretched behavior ain’t fetching.
When you whine about rigging
Debates, you are digging
Your grave — also triggering retching.
You’ll never guess who is to blame
For the rise of The Donald. This claim
By Ms. Noonan is mad:
Seems Obama’s the lad
Who’s at fault. “Pundit” dame has no shame.
Here’s how I’d sum up the first Democratic debate:
I’d say Hillary easily won,
And Bernie did well in the sun.
Whiny Webb? Dull O’Malley?
Dazed Chafee? Finale!
They should quit cuz their runs are undone.
Limerick Ode To Planned Ignorance
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Planned ignorance, such is the scheme
That conservatives love — what a dream:
Withhold info that’s needed
And ought to be heeded.
That’s the key to get wins for their team.
Whitewashing textbooks and refusing to allow the CDC to study gun violence are but two examples.
I’m so sick of these headlines: “Will he or won’t he? Biden still trying to decide.”
Look, I really like (and sympathize with) Joe Biden. But it’s time to shit or get off the pot.
Dear Joe, it is time to decide.
When you hedge, you help others divide
Our great party, which needs
To get out of the weeds
And ensure that a Dem does preside.
If The Shoe Fits… (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A chorus of jeers and complaining
Ought to greet all those speech-makers feigning
Deep concern for the poor.
Show those liars the door,
Cuz I’m sick of their BS campaigning.