Self-aggrandizing lies are the norm
From the Donald; each falsehood-filled storm
Sows confusion and doubt,
Which he can’t do without.
How to shore up support? Disinform!
Self-aggrandizing lies are the norm
Texas Republican Pete Sessions doesn’t seem all that good at handling a crowd of angry constituents. At a rowdy town hall, he responded with this gem:
I know why you’re so frustrated: You don’t know how to listen.
Pete Sessions’ town hall was immersed
In constituent wrath, so he burst:
“You don’t know how to listen!”
(Flop sweat all a-glisten.)
It seems Pete has things slightly reversed.
Though the calendar tells me it’s spring,
My morale won’t allow me to sing
Because winter’s forever;
King Trump holds the lever…
And he’s razing our nation for bling.
Are the Brits pissed at Donald? Darn tootin’!
Plus he’s feudin’ with Merkel, pollutin’
All our friendships long-standing—
Our image disbanding…
But at least Donald always has Putin.
Trump’s claim that Obama wiretapped him has been thoroughly debunked. Yet Donald is still making vague promises that he’ll provide proof Obama did it … at some unspecific time in the future.
Perhaps Trump will simultaneously produce his long-awaited evidence that Obama’s birth certificate is a fraud.
When he’s put on the spot to come through
With some proof, Trump pretends he will do
Some act at a time
Undefined; vague’s sublime
When old wrongs are surpassed by the new.
Donald Trump’s been rebuked once again:
For the second time in two months, two federal judges on Wednesday refused to allow President Trump to impose a travel ban, citing his campaign rhetoric as evidence of an improper desire to prevent Muslims from entering the United States.
Remember when GOP chatter
Taunted Dems with the sentence: “Words matter!”?
Yet it’s rare that they balk
At the Donald’s loose talk…
Which has flattened his bans with a clatter.
Trump’s been bitching about the publication of an old 1040 — a partial tax return that actually makes him look like a successful businessman and that does him no real harm. Moreover, he’s called it “fake news,” even though its validity was confirmed by Trump’s own office. So here’s my theory via limerick:
Dear Donald, the news makes you burn,
And your wiretap fib’s in an urn.
Ryan’s plan is a bust,
And distraction’s a must,
So I’m betting YOU leaked your return.
EPA chief Scott Pruitt has stopped pretending to have a semi-open mind about climate science:
Climate scientists widely proclaim
Human action re carbon’s to blame
For our crisis, but Scott
(Although expert he’s not)
Disagrees. EPA chief? For SHAME!
Guess who just got preliminary approval for 38 new trademarks in China — applications green-lighted with unusual speed, according to a Hong Kong intellectual property consultant.
Chinese trademarks that Donald has sought
Were approved. Seems high office has bought
Trump the branding he’s seeking–
But to cronies, alas, it means mean naught.
Yikes! Trump’s proposed budget pays for his pet wall by raiding the TSA, FEMA, and Coast Guard budgets.
Remember Trump’s thunderous call
For a Mexico-financed “great wall?”
Coast Guard funds, FEMA cash,
And the TSA stash–
Trump will slash them to build it. What gall!
Are you feeling more secure yet?
When HUD Secretary Ben Carson was criticized for conflating slaves and immigrants, he complained that his words had been misconstrued. Unfortunately, however, Carson has a long history of referring to slaves as immigrants. So he’s earned himself this limerick:
Slaves forcibly shipped to our nation
(Per Ben Carson’s REPEATED conflation)
Were immigrants. Wow!
Offensive? And how!
Has his brain suffered O2 privation?
I used to respond with surprise
Upon hearing Trump’s venom-filled lies,
But his yarns are so chronic
(A self-prescribed tonic?)
That banking on fiction is wise.
Trump was having a rather good week this past week … until he wasn’t.
So, what ruined Trump’s Congressional address high? No, NOT being wiretapped by Obama. That’s just some shit Trump made up and threw up on Twitter.
No, here’s what REALLY angered Trump: Attorney General Jeff Sessions having to recuse himself from the Russia investigation, because he lied under oath regarding his own Russian contacts. Hence, my limerick:
Trump’s dismayed, overwrought, feeling frayed;
He’d been waiting for Sessions to aid
Him with Russia, and thought
That a fixer’d been bought.
Jeff’s recusal has nixed that charade.
The reviews for Trump’s speech, in the main,
Were swell, cuz he seemed to be sane:
He read his speech well;
Did not rant, rave, or yell.
What a low bar we’ve set for his reign.
Trump actually said (on ‘Fox and Friends’) “I have a very thick skin.” Wow! I feel a limerick coming:
When Trump feels disparaged, he’s quick
To behave like a bullying prick.
Yet he keeps a straight face,
While making the case
That the skin on his bod’s “very thick.”
Yet another headline that begs for a limerick:
“Donald Trump is creating a field day for the 1%.”
While running, Trump promised to lead
A revolt v. elitists. But heed
Donald’s affluent picks;
Mostly rich, gilt-edged pricks.
His flimflam’s revolting, indeed.
Although Trump has circulated a bullet point outline of tomorrow night’s speech, here’s what I’m expecting:
Please get ready for Donald to speak
Before Congress on Tuesday this week,
Where he’ll beef about press
And he’ll shriek “We’re a mess,
Only I can address!” (That’s my “leak.”)
Have you noticed Trump’s habit of picking random fights with allies? Even France is rightfully peeved at the Donald for Trump’s Paris rant, which included this gem:
“Paris? I don’t go there anymore. Paris is no longer Paris,” Trump quoted his friend as saying.
Donald thoughtlessly tends to digress
Into statements that cause allies stress.
Watch his Cabinet Secs
As they turn into wrecks,
While attempting to clean up each mess.