July 18th, 2010
Republicans have a cute little “deficit hawk” scam going: They “block extended aid to the unemployed, while simultaneously pushing for massive tax cuts for the wealthy.”
How do they justify this? According to Republican leaders like Mike Pence and Jon Kyl, the former has to be offset by spending cuts, but the latter, due to some mysterious mix of magic and voodoo, doesn’t.
It’s time for a new limerick:
The GOP’s Honesty Deficit
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Though the GOP deficit hawks
Are famed for “must pay for it” squawks,
They nix plugging the hole
Caused by tax cuts. How droll!
Yes, that’s how hypocrisy talks.
Tags: Deficit Hawks, Economy Satire, Financial Verse, Jon Kyl, Mike Pence, Republican Hypocrisy, Republicans Humor, Tax Cuts, Unemployment Benefits, Voodoo Economics
Posted in Economy Humor, Fiscal Policy, GOP Humor, Hypocrisy Humor, Money & Finance Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, Tax & Budget Humor | 10 Comments »
July 14th, 2010
As I wrote Monday, David Vitter has an unexpected primary fight on his hands. Well, apparently he’s now so desperate to hold on to the wingnut vote, that he’s turned into a full-fledged Birther.
At a town hall event Sunday, he made it clear that he backs Birther lawsuits challenging President Obama’s citizenship, saying he supports “conservative legal organizations and others who would bring that to court.”
That brings me to my latest David Vitter limerick:
The Birth Of Lunacy
By Madeleine Begun Kane
David Vitter has told us his view
Of the Birther position, on cue.
He profoundly approves
And says it behooves
Those with standing to sue, baby, sue.
Tags: Birthers, David Vitter, Legal Verse, Wingnuts
Posted in Barack Obama, Birther Humor, David Vitter, Election Satire, GOP Humor, Law Satire, Legal Limericks, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, White House, Wingnuts | 7 Comments »
July 12th, 2010
So far, Senator David Vitter of Louisiana has survived several scandals ranging from soliciting a prostitute from the “D.C. Madam,” to keeping a “women’s issues” aide (Brent Furer) on staff who allegedly held his girlfriend hostage at knifepoint.
But now he’s confronting a brand new challenge — a last minute, unexpected primary fight launched by retired Judge Chet Traylor.
And that brings me to my latest two-verse limerick:
David Vitter’s Traylor Travails
By Madeleine Begun Kane
The scandal-scarred Senator Vitter
Got struck with a last minute hitter:
A primary fight
From the GOP’s right.
Now he’s bitter. I read it on Twitter.
Chet Traylor has pulled off this filing,
And bus’nesses find him beguiling—
Former judge who’s a fan
Of the sodomy ban.
And that’s why Dave Vitter ain’t smiling.
Tags: Chet Traylor, David Vitter, Election Humor, Louisiana, Republican Primary
Posted in Campaign Humor, David Vitter, Election Satire, GOP Humor, Political Limericks, Republicans Humor, Senate Satire | 3 Comments »
July 2nd, 2010
Americans gaze at the sky
On a hot, muggy 4th of July,
Watching fireworks flash
At a flag-waving bash—
A brief respite from life gone awry.
Tags: 4th Of July, Celebrations Poetry, Fireworks, Holiday Verse, Independence Day, Patriotism Humor
Posted in Patriotism Poems | 4 Comments »
June 30th, 2010
Way back in 1999, President Bill Clinton nominated a brilliant lawyer for a seat on the federal appeals court based in the District of Columbia.
Alas, that lawyer never got to the D.C. bench. Indeed, the brilliant nominee never even got to testify before the Senate Judiciary Committee.
You see, the lawyer suffered from a fatal flaw — she’d been named by a Democratic President, and her appointment would shift the balance of a very important court. So Republican Senator Orrin Hatch, as chairman of the Senate Judiciary Committee, blocked her nomination, refusing to schedule a hearing.
Disappointed but undaunted, the brilliant lawyer pursued other legal opportunities over the years and achieved great success.
More than a decade after this ill-fated nomination, the federal bench beckoned once again. But this time it was a nomination to the highest court of the land.
Getting a hearing wasn’t a problem this time. A hearing where Senator Hatch and his fellow Republicans would look askance at the brilliant lawyer, complaining she lacked the very judicial experience they had denied her.
Who was that brilliant lawyer? Elena Kagan.
And now you know… the rest of the story.
Related Posts: Robin Ghivan Makes Me Cross, Why I’ll Never Be A Supreme Court Justice, Leery About Elena, and Obama’s What???
Tags: Bill Clinton, Elena Kagan, Judiciary Satire, Legal Humor, Orrin Hatch, Paul Harvey Parody, Supreme Court
Posted in Elena Kagan, Law Satire, Legal Limericks, Orrin Hatch, Political Limericks, Senate Satire, Supreme Court | 1 Comment »
June 30th, 2010
Those Sorry Republicans
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Just what’s the Republican mission?
To oppose each Obama position.
He gets tough on BP—
Gets an escrow, then see
Their response to the BP contrition:
Reps Joe Barton and Bachman and Price
By default claimed Obama ain’t nice.
He’s been mean to BP.
It a shakedown, you see.
Cuz unthinking objection’s their vice.
But fighting this fund makes no sense.
To do so’s an error immense.
The people approve.
It’s a positive move,
And opposing it makes them look dense.
Even Boehner and co seem to know
That defending BP’s a no-go.
Strikes a terrible tone,
So they rushed to disown
The pro-BP speech made by Joe.
But a hundred-plus others expressed
The same viewpoint in print. Not addressed!
It seems Boehner and co
Are pretending as though
The have solved their BP PR test.
It is clear where Republicans stand.
They are naught but a pro-corp’rate brand.
They put citizens last
And are only aghast
When a Dem gives the people a hand.
Related Posts: Kick-Ass Limerick, Haley’s Barbaric Attitude and Oily Obstruction.
Tags: Barack Obama, BP, Gulf Of Mexico, Joe Barton, John Boehner, Michele Bachmann, Oil Disasters, Republicans Humor, Shakedown, Tom Price
Posted in Barack Obama, GOP Humor, John Boehner, Michele Bachmann, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, Wingnuts | 3 Comments »
June 10th, 2010
The language police are at it again. Republicans and Fox News (sorry to be redundant) are simply horrified at President Obama’s “unpresidential” language.
What are they so pretend-upset about? Obama used the word ass in response to Matt Lauer’s oil crisis question about kicking butt.
Apparently this is extremely shocking to the same folks who had no problem with f**ks from Bush, Cheney, and McCain.
That brings me to my latest limerick:
Kick-Ass Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
The Republicans’ delicate ears
Are offended by ass, it appears.
F**k is fine from McCain,
Bush, and Cheney — that’s plain.
But ass from Barack begets jeers.
Tags: Barack Obama, Dick Cheney Satire, Fox News Satire, John McCain, Language Police, Language Satire, Matt Lauer, Republican Hypocrisy
Posted in Barack Obama, Campaign Humor, Dick Cheney Satire, Election Satire, Etiquette Humor, Fox News Humor, GOP Humor, George Bush Satire, John McCain, Language Humor, Media Satire, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, White House | 5 Comments »
June 10th, 2010
Harry Reid sure caught a lucky break Tuesday: Nevada’s looniest would-be Senator won the Republican nomination. Yes, Senator Reid’s opponent will be the wingnutty Sharron Angle, a woman with views so odd, she almost manages to make Rand Paul look semi-normal.
Nevada’s Wingnut Angle (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Harry’s hopes for November looked bleak,
With Republican odds at their peak.
But he’ll easily wrangle
The wacky Ms. Angle.
Thank you, wingnuts, for picking a freak.
Tags: Campaign Satire, Election Humor, Harry Reid, Nevada, Rand Paul, Senate Satire, Sharron Angle, Wingnuts
Posted in Campaign Humor, Election Satire, GOP Humor, George Bush Satire, Harry Reid, Media Satire, Nevada Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Rand Paul, Republicans Humor, White House, Wingnuts | 1 Comment »
June 7th, 2010
It turns out that Mark Kirk’s problems with the truth go well beyond exaggerating his military resume. As the Chicago Sun-Times reports, the Illinois Republican nominee for U.S. Senate has a habit of telling international tall tales about Iranian oil imports, France’s handling of pirates, and the China-drilling-for-oil-off-the-Cuban-coast fable.
Are these deliberate lies? Or is Mark Kirk woefully ill-informed? I’m not sure, but neither explanation would speak well of a would-be senator who’s ostensibly an expert in foreign affairs.
That brings me to my latest limerick:
Kirk’s “Factual” Quirks
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Mark Kirk is astoundingly lax
When he spouts international “facts.”
Be it China or France
Or Iranian rants,
He’s deceptive and wrong to the max.
Tags: Campaign Satire, China, Cuba, Election Humor, France, Illinois, Iran, Mark Kirk, Pirates, Tall Tales
Posted in Campaign Humor, China Humor, Election Satire, Foreign Policy, Mark Kirk, National Security Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor | 8 Comments »
June 3rd, 2010
Okay, so we have two Senatorial candidates who’ve pumped up their military records — Republican Mark Kirk of Illinois and Democrat Richard Blumenthal of Connecticut. We also have the horrified Republican Senator Orrin Hatch, who’s hatched the upright-sounding Stolen Valor Act. Just one problem: According to Hatch, it would criminalize Blumenthal’s behavior but (surprise, surprise) not Kirk’s.
Hatching Hypocrisy (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
When a pol says he fought for our land
And exaggerates, bolst’ring his brand,
That’s a crime, says Sen Hatch.
But of course there’s a catch:
Only Dems need obey this command.
Update: One of my few Republican Facebook friends, Rob Hood, posted a limerick response in Facebook asserting that I engage in anti-GOP gloating. Here’s my limerick rejoinder:
I’m a Dem, but I’m surely not gloating.
There’s no reason for happy emoting.
Though the GOP’s worse
Than the Dems, here’s our curse:
Most pols do not merit our voting.
Tags: Campaign Satire, Election Humor, Mark Kirk, Military Record, Orrin Hatch, Republican Hypocrisy, Republicans Humor, Richard Blumenthal, Senate Humor, Stolen Valor Act
Posted in Campaign Humor, Election Satire, Legislation Humor, Mark Kirk, Military Humor, Orrin Hatch, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Senate Satire | 5 Comments »
May 25th, 2010
Is speculation that Sarah Palin’s speaking career’s starting to crash and burn just wishful thinking, or something more? One thing’s for sure — her Las Vegas keynote speech didn’t impress commercial realtors.
Panning Palin
By Madeleine Begun Kane
I never “got” Palin’s appeal.
I’m confused. Please do tell. What’s the deal?
Ill-informed and quite crass,
With a voice that breaks glass —
Why on earth would folks pay for her spiel?
Tags: Realtors, Sarah Palin, Speeches
Posted in Business Humor, Political Limericks, Sarah Palin, Speeches Satire | 12 Comments »
May 23rd, 2010
Alert the authorities: U.S. Supreme Court nominee Elena Kagan has “embraced dowdy as a mark of brainpower.” Moreover, unlike “most women” she doesn’t cross her legs when she’s sitting.
Yes, Washington Post columnist Robin Ghivan is at it again with her sexist political fashion drivel. (I still haven’t recovered from Ghivan’s column about Hillary Clinton’s cleavage.)
Well here’s a news flash for Ms. Ghivan: Any grown woman with half a brain knows that crossing your legs is both uncomfortable and unhealthy. But hey, if you want varicose veins go right ahead.
Robin Ghivan Makes Me Cross (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
If you care about good circulation
And prefer that your feet have sensation,
Then you don’t cross your legs.
Givhan’s column’s the dregs.
Sexist nonsense is Robin’s fixation.
Tags: Circulation, Elena Kagan, Fashion Police, Feminist Satire, Hillary Clinton, Law Satire, Media Humor, Robin Ghivan, Supreme Court Humor, Washington Post, Women's Health
Posted in Elena Kagan, Feminism Humor, Judiciary Satire, Law Satire, Legal Limericks, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Supreme Court | No Comments »
May 23rd, 2010
In the wake of his humiliating interview on Rachel Maddow’s MSNBC show, Rand Paul has a serious Civil Rights Act problem. It’s so bad, that he’s already flip-flopping (or pretending to flip-flop) over his views and he was even scared into canceling his scheduled Meet the Press interview.
But Rand Paul isn’t the only guy with a problem — his fellow Republican pols have one too. What do I mean? Well, eventually they’ll have to choose sides: Either stick up for the Republican nominee with the insane views and maintain party loyalty, or disavow Rand Paul’s views and be seen by many as disloyal to the GOP. Good luck with that.
This brings me to my latest three-verse limerick:
Republican Pols — Off or On the Rand-Wagon?
By Madeleine Begun Kane
The Sen. nominee known as Rand
Is as odd as they come in this land.
He says cos are endowed
With this right: All’s allowed.
Paul would give them a fully free hand.
If they want to be racist, they may.
Block the Jews from their doors? That’s okay.
Cuz the gospel of Paul
Is no biz regs at all.
So feel free to go fire a gay.
The Republican leaders must choose
To decry (or endorse) these mad views.
There is no in-between.
There’s no hiding, I mean.
Back the Tea Party Guy, and they lose.
Tags: Civil Rights, GOP, Libertarians, Meet The Press, Rachel Maddow, Rand Paul, Republican Flip-Flops, Republican Humor, Tea Party Members, Wingnuts
Posted in GOP Humor, Political Commentary, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Rachel Maddow, Rand Paul, Republicans Humor, Tea Parties, Wingnuts | 2 Comments »
May 17th, 2010
Would you like to dump the Department of Education and the Federal Reserve?
Do you believe there’s “collusion between government and industry in the global warming myth”?
Do you think the U.S. should adopt “Austrian Economics,” abrogate the “UN Treaty on Rights of the Child” and the “Law Of The Sea Treaty” and resist “efforts to create a one world government”?
Then do I have a Republican Party Platform for you:
Maine Mishigas (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
The Republican Party of Maine
Has apparently gone quite insane.
It has managed to fill
Its new platform with swill.
What an odd way to run a campaign.
But citizens tend to ignore
Party platforms — they’re often a bore.
So Dems, spread the word
Re this platform absurd.
Cuz (if known) it has little allure.
Note: I suppose a crazy party platform should be expected from people who’d behave like this while they’re adopting it:
The Republican State Convention was held at the Portland Exposition Building, which is on Park Avenue, near the middle school. Party members from Knox County caucused in a classroom used by eighth-grade social studies teacher Paul Clifford.
When Clifford returned to school on Monday, he found that a favorite poster about the U.S. labor movement had been taken and replaced with a bumper sticker that read, “Working People Vote Republican.”
Later, Clifford learned that his classroom had been searched. Republicans who had attended the convention called Principal Mike McCarthy to complain about “anti-American” things they saw there, including a closed box containing copies of the U.S. Constitution that were published by the American Civil Liberties Union.
Tags: Campaign Satire, Election Humor, Maine Limerick, Party Platforms, Republican Platform Humor, Tea Party Members, Wingnuts
Posted in Campaign Humor, Election Satire, GOP Humor, Maine Satire, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, Tea Parties, Wingnuts | 1 Comment »
May 13th, 2010
As the Washington Post’s Valerie Strauss points out, the U.S. Supreme Court is packed with graduates of Harvard Law and Yale Law:
Assuming President Obama wins confirmation of Solicitor General Elena Kagan to the Supreme Court, that august body will be exclusively filled with judges who earned their law degrees at Harvard or Yale.
Strauss thinks such exclusivity is a bad idea and, as you can tell from this limerick, so do I:
Why I’ll Never Be A Supreme Court Justice
By Madeleine Begun Kane
It appears that Supremes have to hail
From the law schools of Harvard or Yale.
My law school’s St. John’s.
That’s just one of my “cons.”
Plus I’m sixty — I might as well bail.
Tags: Education Humor, Elena Kagan, Harvard, Ivy League, Judiciary Humor, Law Degree Humor, Law Satire, Law Schools, Legal Humor, Resume Humor, U.S. Supreme Court, Yale
Posted in Education Limerick, Elena Kagan, Judiciary Satire, Law Satire, Legal Limericks, Personal, Supreme Court | 7 Comments »
May 13th, 2010
Apparently, anti-Kagan attacks from the right have been inspiring some liberals to rally around her. But I’m not among them. Not yet, anyway.
Now for all I know, Elena Kagan may be a closet liberal. I sure hope so. But so far there’s little to suggest that Kagan’s any more liberal than President Obama, and that scares me.
Leery About Elena (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
There’s no doubt that Ms. Kagan’s quite smart.
Some say brilliant, but does she have heart?
We’ve a liberal hole.
Will she fill it with soul,
Or tip the court “right” from the start?
Tags: Barack Obama, Elena Kagan, Empathy, Judiciary Humor, Law Satire, Legal Humor, Liberals, Supreme Court Humor
Posted in Barack Obama, Elena Kagan, Judiciary Satire, Law Satire, Legal Limericks, Political Limericks, Supreme Court | 3 Comments »
May 11th, 2010
How amusing! We’ve moved from “Obama’s Katrina” to “Obama’s Harriet Miers.” Yes, wingnutty Republicans are invoking Harriet Miers in discussing Obama’s U.S. Supreme Court nominee Elena Kagan. Sorry, Redstate and the rest of you, the answer to “Will this be President Obama’s Harriet Miers Moment?” is “No!”
That brings me to my latest limerick:
Obama’s What???
By Madeleine Begun Kane
“Obama’s Katrina,” they say.
“Obama’s H. Miers,” they pray.
To the wingnuts give thanks
For reminding the ranks
Of the many ways Bush went astray.
Related Posts: U.S. Supreme Court Humor
Tags: Bush, Elena Kagan, Harriet Miers, Judiciary Humor, Katrina, Law Satire, Legal Humor, Supreme Court Humor, Wingnuts
Posted in Barack Obama, Elena Kagan, GOP Humor, George Bush Satire, Judiciary Satire, Legal Limericks, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Supreme Court, White House, Wingnuts | 6 Comments »
Haley’s Barbaric Attitude
June 8th, 2010While Govs. Bobby Jindal (R-La.), Charlie Crist (I-Fla.), and Bob Riley (R-Ala.) seem to take the Gulf oil spill crisis very seriously, Mississippi Gov. Haley Barbour (R) has been downplaying the disaster, talking as if it’s a fictitious crisis created by the media.
For instance, according to Barbour, “tar balls are no big deal.”
That brings me to my latest limerick:
Haley’s Barbaric Attitude
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Don’t worry, be happy, says Haley,
In spite of the news we get daily.
Just ignore the press squeal.
The spill’s no big deal.
Must be nice to view crises so gaily.
Related Post: Oily Obstruction
Tags: Bob Riley, Bobby Jindal, BP, Charlie Crist, Environment, Gulf Of Mexico, Haley Barbour, Media Humor, Mississippi, Oil Disasters, Tourism
Posted in Energy Humor, Environment Satire, GOP Humor, George Bush Satire, Media Satire, Political Commentary, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, White House | 4 Comments »