July 1st, 2009
South Carolina Governor Mark Sanford shouldn’t resign because he’s an unfaithful, lying, hypocrite … although he’s all that and more. He should resign because he’s a moron! Only a blithering idiot could, in one breath, publicly describe his lover as his “soul mate” and, in the next breath, vow to salvage his marriage and fall back in love with his wife, Jenny.
Ode to Mark “Sweet Talker” Sanford
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Dear Sanford, you need to stay mum
Cuz your statements are dumb as they come.
Tell me: Why would your wife
Take you back in this life,
When your soul mate’s another? You bum!
Tags: Jenny Sanford, Mark Sanford, Scandals, South Carolina
Posted in Family Values Humor, GOP Humor, Governors Humor, Hypocrisy Humor, Mark Sanford, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor | 1 Comment »
June 28th, 2009
I’ve heard some twisted rationalizations over the years. But Rush Limbaugh’s attempt at blaming Obama for Mark Sanford’s failings really takes the cake.
A double limerick, just for Rush Limbaugh:
De-Moralized?
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Rush claims that Obama’s to blame
For Sanford’s disgrace and his shame:
The stimulus bill
Destroyed Sanford’s will.
Wow, even for Limbaugh, that’s lame.
When a Democrat strays — no excuse!
Just right-wing attacks and abuse.
But conservative sins
Are spinned — turned to wins.
Try to reason with Rush? It’s no use!
Tags: Democrats, Hypocrisy, Limbaugh, Mark Sanford, Media, Obama, Radio, Republicans Humor, Scandals, Sins, Stimulus, Talk Shows
Posted in Barack Obama, Blame Game, Family Values Humor, Fiscal Policy, Governors Humor, Hypocrisy Humor, Mark Sanford, Media Satire, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Radio Humor, Republicans Humor, Rush Limbaugh | 2 Comments »
June 23rd, 2009
Life would be ever so much easier, if only RNC Chairman Michael Steele had Barack Obama’s gig. For instance, we’d be able to solve our health care problems in a nanosecond:
STEELE: So if it’s a cost problem, it’s easy: Get the people in a room who have the most and the most direct impact on cost, and do the deal. Do the deal. It’s not that complicated.
If it’s an access question, people don’t have access to health care, then figure out who they are, and give them access! Hello?! Am I missing something here? …
And so it’s time for yet another Michael Steele limerick:
Steeley Plan For Health Care
By Madeleine Begun Kane
U.S. health reform’s easy, says Steele.
Simply get in a room — do the deal.
Whether access or cost
Is the problem, accost
Those involved, do the deal, and get real.
Tags: Health Reform, Negotiation, RNC, Steele
Posted in Health Satire, Michael Steele, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, RNC Humor, Republicans Humor | 2 Comments »
June 23rd, 2009
I don’t know what’s weirder — the fact that South Carolina Governor Mark Sanford’s been missing since Thursday, or that his wife doesn’t seem at all worried.
Mark Sanford — Lost? Or Losing It? (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Gov. Sanford — oh let’s call him Mark —
Has left his whole state in the dark.
He’s gone missing, they say.
Can they reach him? No way!
Is he nuts, or just lost in some park?
Update: Here’s my favorite rumor about South Carolina’s missing governor: Mark Sanford may have been hiking naked.
Update 2: Now that Governor Sanford’s fessed up to an Argentinean tryst, I’ve written him another limerick.
Tags: Mark Sanford, South Carolina
Posted in Governors Humor, Mark Sanford, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Republicans Humor | 1 Comment »
June 15th, 2009
Don’t Ask. Don’t Tell. Just Sign! (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Dear Obama, our nation can’t wait.
Please stop ousting the folks who ain’t straight.
Yes, we know your plate’s full,
But I’m sorry — that’s bull!
Sign a “stop-loss.” How long can it take?
Tags: DADT, Gays, Limericks, Military, Obama, Stop-Loss
Posted in Barack Obama, Don't Ask Don't Tell Humor, Gay Rights, Law Satire, Legal Limericks, Military Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire | 3 Comments »
June 8th, 2009
When Judge Sonia Sotomayor was first nominated for the U.S. Supreme Court, I started writing this Mike Huckabee-related song parody:
Maria,
I’d swear that her name was Maria.
Unfortunately, I got distracted and never finished it. However, I did find another use for this Leonard Bernstein West Side Story tune. My latest song parody concerns the ubiquitous Liz Cheney:
Liz Cheney’s Song
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Liz Cheney.
You just can’t avoid Lizzie Cheney.
The former Veep’s to blame.
Their surnames are the same, you see.
Liz Cheney.
I sure would not miss Lizzie Cheney,
If suddenly I found
Liz Cheney unrenowned. Yippee!
Liz Cheney.
Say it loud and her lies are playing.
Make her stop, I confess I am praying.
Liz Cheney.
She’ll never stop fibbing.
Liz Cheney.
The most terrible lies I’ve ever heard.
Liz Cheney.
Tags: Judiciary Satire, Law Satire, Leonard Bernstein, Liz Cheney, Maria, Media Lies, Mike Huckabee, Song Parody, Sonia Sotomayor
Posted in Liz Cheney, Media Satire, Mike Huckabee, Politics Satire, Song Parodies, Sonia Sotomayor Verse | 2 Comments »
June 4th, 2009
Republicans have no shortage of things to fulminate about. One of their favorites? The General Motors bankruptcy:
Bankrupt Values (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
An auto co known as GM
In the past was considered a gem.
It’s in bankruptcy now.
Will that hurt? Yes, and how!
But the GOP’s goal? Blame the Dem!
(You can find my lighter car humor columns and limericks here.)
Tags: Automobiles, Bankruptcy, Blame, Cars, Democrats, Economy, Finance, General Motors, GM, GOP, Law Satire, Money, Obama, Republicans Humor, Values
Posted in Automobiles Satire, Barack Obama, Blame Game, Business Humor, Economy Humor, Fiscal Policy, GOP Humor, Law Satire, Legal Limericks, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor | No Comments »
May 26th, 2009
If you didn’t know Sen. Ben Nelson’s a Democrat, you’d swear he’s a conservative Republican. And that’s why the fantasy of a Frankenized, filibuster-proof Senate is ludicrous.
Ben Nelson, DINO … Or Dinosaur?
By Madeleine Begun Kane
From Nebraska comes Senator Ben,
A Dem with an anti-Dem yen —
Makes Connecticut Joe
Seem a liberal bro,
And Arlen, a prince among men.
Tags: Arlen Specter, Ben Nelson, Connecticut, Joe Lieberman, Nebraska
Posted in Arlen Specter Humor, Ben Nelson Humor, Joe Lieberman, Political Limericks | 1 Comment »
May 20th, 2009
It wasn’t bad enough that Sen. Jeff Sessions cited “tropical breezes” in extolling the glories of Gitmo. Now we have Sen. Jim Inhofe bragging about Gitmo’s health care — colonoscopies for inmates over fifty-five. Whoopee!
If I were British, I’d probably write this song parody:
Gitmo Prison, here I come.
Need a doc to check my bum.
But instead, I’ll have to settle for a limerick:
Ode To Tropical Breeze Colonoscopies
By Madeleine Begun Kane
I’m moving to Gitmo real soon
Cuz I’m told inmate health care’s a boon.
Colonoscopies free
After fifty-five. Whee!
So please lock me up, Sen. Buffoon!
Tags: Colonoscopies, Gitmo, Guantanamo Bay, Health, Inmates, Jeff Sessions, Jim Inhofe, Prisons, Republicans Humor, Senate Satire
Posted in Gitmo Humor, Inhofe Humor, Jeff Sessions, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, Senate Satire | 4 Comments »
May 18th, 2009
I have some new competition in the political poetry arena. Apparently, former Arkansas Gov. Mike Huckabee fancies himself a poet and has written an anti-Pelosi screed in the form of a really bad poem called Fancy Nancy. Here’s a taste of Huckabee’s versification:
Here’s a story about a lady named Nancy
A ruthless politician, but dressed very fancy
Very ambitious, she got herself elected Speaker
But as for keeping secrets, she proved quite a “leaker.”
***
If forced to believe whether the CIA and her colleagues in Congress are lying;
Or it’s Speaker Pelosi whose credibility and career is dying.
I believe in the integrity of the men and women who sacrifice to keep us safe;
Not the woman who has been caught flat-footed, lying to our face.
***
Mike Huckabee deserves a limerick, don’t you think?
Ode to Mike “The Poet” Huckabee
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Dear Huck, you’ve no rhythm or rhyme,
And your verse about Nancy’s a crime.
Your ditty ain’t witty.
Your talent is bitty.
Your poetry’s awful. Try mime.
Tags: Bad Poetry, CIA, Congress Humor, Mike Huckabee, Nancy Pelosi
Posted in Mike Huckabee, Pelosi Verse, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor | 2 Comments »
May 14th, 2009
Republicans (and Joe Lieberman) have been staging yet another temper tantrum. What’s their grievance du jour? Speaker Nancy Pelosi said CIA leaders misled Congress about interrogation techniques.
My Homage To Feigned Outrage
By Madeleine Begun Kane
The CIA’s under attack
By the Speaker who gave it a smack.
She accused it of lying.
The GOP’s crying:
She’s mean and must take it all back.
Tags: CIA, Congress Humor, Feigned Outrage, Interrogation, Lieberman, Lies, Nancy Pelosi, Republicans Humor, Torture, Waterboarding
Posted in CIA Satire, Congress Humor, GOP Humor, House Satire, Iraq War Humor, Joe Lieberman, Pelosi Verse, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, Torture Humor | 2 Comments »
May 12th, 2009
It sounds like Texas Congressman Pete Sessions could use some … uh … sessions on somebody’s couch.
… Representative Pete Sessions of Texas, may indeed face an uphill fight with his argument that Mr. Obama is not trying to create jobs. In an interview, Mr. Sessions cited rising unemployment in asserting that the administration intended to “diminish employment and diminish stock prices” as part of a “divide and conquer” strategy to consolidate power.
Ode To The Wingnutty Pete Sessions
By Madeleine Begun Kane
The Texas Republican Sessions
Likes to conjure up lib’ral transgressions:
Claims Barack to build power
Made stocks and jobs sour.
Pete needs help from the head-shrink professions.
Tags: Employment, Obama, Pete Sessions, Republicans Humor, Stocks, Texas
Posted in Barack Obama, Economy Humor, Pete Sessions, Political Limericks, Republicans Humor, Texas Humor, Wingnuts | 5 Comments »
Mark Sanford’s Trail … Of Hypocrisy
June 24th, 2009All the explanations for Gov. Mark Sanford’s absence — the recharging, the writing, the catching up on projects, the naked Appalachian Trail hiking — are officially inoperative. Come to think of it, Sanford did take a hike — from his obligations to his wife and family and to his constituents.
A secret Argentinean affair! Wow! You have to give the righteous Republican Brownie points for creativity:
Mark Sanford’s Trail … Of Hypocrisy (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
The myst’ry of Sanford is solved.
We have learned an affair is involved.
Argentinean tryst!
Now that’s quite a twist.
Say goodbye to his Prez hopes. Dissolved!
Tags: Affairs, Argentina, Governors, Hypocrisy, Mark Sanford, Republicans Humor, South Carolina
Posted in Family Values Humor, GOP Humor, Governors Humor, Hypocrisy Humor, Mark Sanford, Political Commentary, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor | 3 Comments »