Guns Don’t Kill People; Doors Kill People (Limerick)

May 20th, 2018

Headline: “Texas shooting renews debate about American school design”

The gun-loving NRA faction
Creatively thwarts gun-law action.
Students down on all fours
Dodging death? It blames doors:
Prevent murder by entrance contraction.

Women’s Health News To Make You Gag (Limerick)

May 18th, 2018

Headline: “New Trump Administration Rule Will Force Doctors to Stop Saying “Abortion””

Planned Parenthood hit once again
Via “gag rule?” Seems Trump has a yen
To use power and wealth
To impair women’s health.
Gals could die from the stroke of his pen.

Hey Donald, I Hear The Nobel Peace Prize Tastes Almost As Good As A Steak! (Limerick)

May 17th, 2018

Headline: “Trump’s Nobel Prize talk may have been a bit hasty, North Korea makes clear”

Has Trump been outsmarted by Kim?
Or out-crazied? Out-acted-on-whim?
Donald NEEDS that Nobel.
He’s in hell! What’s that smell?
Desperation, as deal odds grow dim.

Trump Trumped By Leaks (Limerick)

May 15th, 2018

Trump Tweet: “The so-called leaks coming out of the White House are a massive over exaggeration put out by the Fake News Media in order to make us look as bad as possible. With that being said, leakers are traitors and cowards, and we will find out who they are!”

Though he frequently rails about leaks,
When he ran Trump aired NO such critiques;
Once a WikiLeaks fan,
Now an anti-leak man.
He’s the target? Trump bellows and shrieks.

Michael Cohen — One Shell Of A Lawyer (Limerick)

May 10th, 2018

Matthew Miller: “Two days later, I still can’t get over how stupid Michael Cohen was using the same LLC he set up for porn star hush money to run his new consulting business.”

Michael Cohen –incompetent sleaze–
Doesn’t know how to use LLCs;
Merging hush money flow
With consulting firm dough?
It’s no wonder Feds caught him with ease!

Rudy Fired, But NOT By Trump (Limerick)

May 10th, 2018

Headline: “Giuliani Forced to Resign from His Law Firm”

Rudy’s law firm pays hush money too?
So said Rudy, a statement he’ll rue,
Cuz his law firm has dumped him;
They’re angry he lumped ’em
With Coh’n in a Trump-defense spew.

Open Limerick To Orrin Hatch

May 7th, 2018

Headline: “Hatch says it’s ‘ridiculous’ for McCain to block Trump from funeral”

Dear Senator Hatch, if McCain
Wants his funeral Trump-free, refrain
From poking your nose
In what the man chose.
It is hardly your place to complain.

Open Limerick To Donald Trump

May 6th, 2018

Dear Trump, Rudy’s “help” you don’t need.
I don’t know why you ever agreed
To let the guy rep you.
At best he will schelp you
To prison with mind-blowing speed.

A Limerick Ode To GOP Hypocrisy

May 5th, 2018

Just imagine the sturm and the drama,
If a Dem such as Ex-Prez Obama
Retained someone to fix
All his problems with chicks.
How the GOP’d feast on such trauma!

But with Donald, who cares? No big deal!
From supporters there’s hardly a squeal.
Sleaze and lies do not matter;
No Trump-crime can shatter
Their faith, for the Donald’s THEIR heel.

What The Donald Needs, What He Really, Really Needs

May 5th, 2018

It’s a shame that the Donald’s so needy;
Craving praise, he is compliment-greedy.
Staff and Secys must Suck-up.
They don’t? It’s a Fuck-up.
Kiss his ass, or depart? Yes, indeedy!

Open Limerick To White House Press

May 3rd, 2018

Jennifer Rubin: “I honestly see no reason for the daily press conference. If she lies it is pointless.”

Dear journos, explain: Why attend
Sanders’ pressers? She lies without end.
There is naught to be gained
From “info” that’s feigned.
Do your homework, make calls, phone a friend.

Limerick Ode To Michael Cohen

May 3rd, 2018

Michael Cohen is mainly a bagman,
A whitewash-each-Donald-Trump-shag-man,
To shield Donald from blame
And protect his “good name.”
That assignment’s encountered a snag, man.

Trump’s Been Branded (Limerick)

May 3rd, 2018

Headline: “Judge rules New York condo board may remove ‘Trump’ name”

Trump’s name on your building? Egad!
Once a status sign; now it’s just bad.
Folks who’ve sued for removal
Have gotten approval.
His brand’s an embarrassment. Sad!

Open Limerick To Donald Trump

May 1st, 2018

My advice for the Donald: “Forego
Mueller’s questions. Don’t go toe-to-toe.
Cuz deceit is on tap
When your sneering lips flap.
You will lie while you’re saying hello.”

Trumpian Sins (Limerick)

April 30th, 2018

Donald Trump rarely speaks out with candor.
How that man loves to libel and slander!
Watch him grimace and glow’r
While abusing his pow’r.
I preferred when he’d mainly philander.

Gun Ban Hypocrisy (Limerick)

April 30th, 2018

USA Today headline: “NRA draws fire from backers, foes for gun ban at event with Vice President Pence”

“Lots of guns make you safer in schools.”
That’s the NRA’s stance — greedy tools!
So they’d arm ev’ry teach,
But when Pence gives a speech
At their meeting — NO GUNS!!! — them’s the rules.

Trump And The Disabled (Limerick)

April 29th, 2018

Trump via PBS NewsHour: “What happened with the Paralympics was so incredible and so inspiring to me. And I watched — it’s a little tough to watch too much, but I watched as much as I could.”

Paralympics, says Trump: “tough to watch” —
An embarrassing compliment-botch.
This is Trump being “nice.”
My unwanted advice:
Any further such ref’rences? Scotch!

Trump’s Biggest Fear? (Limerick)

April 19th, 2018

Headline: “Trump allies worry Cohen will flip.”

Trump cronies are starting to fear
A Mike Cohen betrayal is near;
That when faced with the threat
Of prison, he’ll sweat
And blab secrets that Donald holds dear.

Trump v. Puerto Rico (Limerick)

April 18th, 2018

Headline: “Trump’s Puerto Rico Golf Venture: Not Such A Great Deal.”

Puerto Rico again has no light,
And support for the island’s been slight.
Trump’s neglect seems suspicious,
Vindictive and vicious.
Donald failed there in golf. I smell spite.

Comey Presses His Case (Limerick)

April 16th, 2018

If you watch tonight’s Comey interview (ABC, 10 PM Eastern) feel free to comment here:

I’m guessing that Trump won’t delight
In the interview airing tonight.
What will Comey disgorge
To ABC’s George?
I presume it won’t help Donald’s plight.