Limerick Ode To Planned Ignorance

October 6th, 2015

Limerick Ode To Planned Ignorance
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Planned ignorance, such is the scheme
That conservatives love — what a dream:
Withhold info that’s needed
And ought to be heeded.
That’s the key to get wins for their team.

Whitewashing textbooks and refusing to allow the CDC to study gun violence are but two examples.

Open Limerick To Joe Biden

October 4th, 2015

I’m so sick of these headlines: “Will he or won’t he? Biden still trying to decide.”

Look, I really like (and sympathize with) Joe Biden. But it’s time to shit or get off the pot.

Dear Joe, it is time to decide.
When you hedge, you help others divide
Our great party, which needs
To get out of the weeds
And ensure that a Dem does preside.

If The Shoe Fits… (Limerick)

September 30th, 2015

If The Shoe Fits… (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A chorus of jeers and complaining
Ought to greet all those speech-makers feigning
Deep concern for the poor.
Show those liars the door,
Cuz I’m sick of their BS campaigning.

St. Boehner??? (3-Verse Limerick)

September 29th, 2015

St. Boehner??? (3-Verse Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Please don’t tell me that Boehner’s atoned
For his sins and for all he’s condoned—
That his leaving his job
Is a sacrifice (Sob!)
For the good of our land. Are you stoned?

Because all Boehner’s done is postpone
The government shut-down he’s sown,
And emboldened the loons
Who are anarchist goons—
Anti-government nuts to the bone.

So kindly don’t ask me to weep
For a man who will soon surely reap
Lots of wealth from connections
(While dodging elections!)
My retort would be something you’d bleep.

Kevin McCarthy Angles For A Promotion (Limerick)

September 28th, 2015

House Majority Leader Kevin McCarthy is so eager to become Speaker, he’s been making all sorts of promises to Republican party extremists:

Sounding stubbornly tough’s a no-brainer
When campaigning for Speaker, post-Boehner.
You must promise to hew
To each wingnutty view,
And from compromise be an abstainer.

That’s the tack that McCarthy has taken.
No concessions! No deals! He’s unshaken!
He’ll be tough on Obama,
Squash “squishes” with drama.
So if Kev gets that gig, hope’s forsaken.

What’s Next Post-Boehner? (Limerick)

September 27th, 2015

Will Boehner’s departure appease
The Tea Party’s wingnut-disease?
Or will it embolden
And make them feel golden–
Resolved to bring all to their knees.

John Boehner Tears (Limerick)

September 25th, 2015

Boehner Tears (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

At Boehner I frequently curse.
He’s inspired much negative verse.
But of this I am sure:
We’ll soon have to endure
A Republican Speaker who’s worse.

I’m No Shrink, But… (Limerick)

September 24th, 2015

Says Rubio, “Trump’s insecure.”
That assessment does have some allure.
Is the braggart and gloater
And slick self-promoter
Disguising the fact he’s unsure?

I’m no shrink, so I shouldn’t opine,
But I will. (I’ve been drinking some Rhine.)
Compensation for lacks
Could explain his attacks.
Armchair-whining is done — need more wine.

And He’s Out! (Limerick)

September 21st, 2015

Scott Walker’s dropped out of the race
Cuz apparently Walker can’t face
Polling way under “1.”
So he’s back to the fun
Of destroying Wisconsin apace.

Yet Another GOP Debate Limerick

September 18th, 2015

After yesterday’s 3-verser about the 2nd GOP debate, you’d think I’d be done. But apparently not:

How I loathe the “He kept us safe” line.
Jeb’s revived it. How dare he — that swine!
Silly me — I’d have sworn
9-11 was born
On Dub’s watch. Were we safe? I’d say nein.

About Last Night (3-Verse Debate Limerick)

September 18th, 2015

About Last Night (3-Verse Debate Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

As Wednesday’s debate has laid bare,
Donald Trump can spout naught but hot air;
When policy matters
Come up, he’s in tatters.
No detail — just nonsense … and hair.

All his rivals have views I’d forswear.
But at least they have taken some care
To bolster each stand
With some facts, often canned
And untrue — they know fact-checking’s rare.

Fiorina, it seems, was on fire,
And I have to admit I admire
Her talent for lies,
While she’s eyeing the prize
In the fight I’d call “Braggart v. Liar.”

Pre-Debate Limerick

September 16th, 2015

At this ev’ning’s political rumble
I wonder who’ll fumble or crumble.
Will low numbers like “1″
Make some feel quite undone,
Or be freeing? (At “1″ they can’t tumble.)

Limerick Ode To This Wednesday’s CNN Debate

September 14th, 2015

This Wednesday on CNN’s stage,
Ten guys and one gal will engage
In attempts to gain ground.
But chagrin will abound;
Most are bound to be Trumped. Feel their rage!

Yet Another Trump Limerick

September 14th, 2015

Here’s a taunt Trump’s repeatedly boomed:
“Whoever attacks me is doomed!”
As I hear the guy thunder,
I can’t help but wonder
What potion The Donald’s consumed.

Catastrophic Limerick

September 10th, 2015

Catastrophic Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane

In theory, we have a democracy,
Though some call it a Christian theocracy.
But whatever you deem
Our land, it would seem
That the GOP goal’s kakistocracy.*

*Kakistocracy is “government by the least qualified or most unprincipled citizens.”

The Huckster’s Plea (Limerick)

September 9th, 2015

I was amused to hear Mike Huckabee offer to go to jail in Kim Davis’ place.

In the midst of the Davis dissension
And her quest for gay marriage prevention,
Huck delivered this plea:
Don’t jail Davis. Jail ME!
It’s the only way Huck gets attention.

Limerick Ode To Kim Davis

September 6th, 2015

Limerick Ode To Kim Davis
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A thrice-divorced clerk known as Kim
Seems to wed and divorce on a whim.
But this bigoted broad
Claims on orders from “God”
That she can’t let a guy wed a “him.”

Trump’s Empty Pledge (Limerick)

September 4th, 2015

Does The Donald risk losing his edge
With his RNC loyalty pledge?
No he’ll dredge up some slight–
An excuse for a fight;
“They’re not treating me fair,” he’ll allege.

So if somebody else gets the nod,
This will “prove” that the process was flawed
By “mistreatment” of Trump.
The oath’s simple to dump,
And he’ll run as a third-party “god.”

Public Service Message

September 2nd, 2015

No need to closely follow the Donald Trump/Jeb Bush insult fest. I’ve summarized it here as a public service:

“You’re a weak-on-immigration weenie.”

“No. You’re the weenie.”

“You’re a Common Core weenie.”

“No. You’re the weenie.”

“You’re a low-energy weenie.”

“No. You’re the weenie.”

“You’re an illegals-loving weenie.”

“You’re a Hillary-loving, abortion-loving weenie.”

“You’re a Spanish-speaking weenie.”

“You’re a liberal, germaphobic weenie.”

Just think of all the time I’ve saved you.

You’re welcome.

Limerick Ode To Ben Carson

September 2nd, 2015

Limerick Ode To Ben Carson
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Don’t be duped by Ben Carson’s soft tone.
His positions should chill to the bone.
Though he never sounds peckish,
His views are Glenn-Beckish–
Ben’s top dog in the dog-whistle zone.