Please don’t fall for the GOP lies About “unity.” Buyer be wise! It does have a nice ring, But their “unity” thing Just applies to straight, white, Christian guys!
Washington Post Headline: “Republicans flock to court to ‘kiss the ring’ during Trump criminal trial”
GOPers are flocking to court To kiss Donald’s rump and help thwart New York’s efforts to try Donald Trump. (He’s their guy!) And to truth, law, and justice distort.
Dear Trump, you sound terribly mad. I’m confused: You just won. Why so sad? You di’n’t win by enough? Oh, poor baby! That’s rough! But there’s always your dear old pal, Vlad.
And no, I am NOT making this up: According to Trump, Haley was in charge of security during the January 6 Capitol attack, and Haley turned down Trump’s (non-existent) offer of 10,000 National Guard soldiers. (Apparently, the former South Carolina governor and U.N. ambassador became Speaker of the House when nobody was looking.)
Here’s my Open Limerick To Cognitively-Challenged Trump:
Pelosi’s a female, it’s true. So is Haley, and both oppose YOU. Nonetheless, it’s unwise To (while spinning your lies) Confuse those two gals, as you spew.
Four more years of a man who’s our bane? A man with a venomous brain? What’s the crux of the matter? Trump’s vile — a Mad Hatter! The GOP’s choice is insane!
We the Dems must show full solidarity To counter the loathsome barbarity Of Republican stances, Whose fright’ning advances Account for this lack of hilarity.
Many folks have a shocking capacity For deception and lies — sheer mendacity. They will lie to the max, Spurring violent attacks On those guilty of naught but veracity.
*****
When mendacity replaces veracity, sorry state indeed.
Donald’s run has been met with a shrug. Will he fin’ly be squished like a bug? He announced and was trounced In reviews, soon pronounced “Tired” news. Please indict that damn thug!
Donald thinks that his run’s a solution To imminent crime-prosecution. But indictments shall come, And that law-breaking bum Will be tried and soon face retribution.
You think women have too many rights And that MORE guns will somehow stop fights. You’ll vote for a liar; A guy you’d not hire To baby or dog-sit. That bites!
Headline: “GOP 2024 hopefuls face challenge: Not upsetting Trump”
“The Hill” tells us something we know
About GOP prez-hopefuls’ woe:
They must NOT rile the prickly
Ex-prez, yet act quickly.
Avoid venom from Trump? Ho, ho, ho!
GOPers are worried and fretting;
They’re afraid that Trump’s meddling’s abetting
The Dems in the House.
For they bet on a louse,
Whose candidate picks have them sweating.
Embracing the fringe politicians
(Pols enamored of lies and seditions)
Is the GOP’s course.
Will this soon be its source
Of failing electoral missions?
Headline: “Judge Shoots Down Last-Ditch Trump Lawsuit Looking to Overturn Georgia Loss”
Poor Donald keeps losing in court;
Filing spurious suits is his forte.
Each “disgraceful” court loss
Makes him bitter and cross,
As Trump’s time in the Oval grows short.
Says Donald, they’re all out to get me;
RINO judges and staffers won’t let me
Overturn and undo
Biden’s “win.” I should sue
The whole crew cuz they failed to abet me.
Dear Donald, enough with your moaning
And bitching and whining and groaning!
Your lies about wins
Lead a long list of sins.
My suggestion: Some prison atoning.
Headline: “Trump Claims He’d Be Gracious, If He Lost”
Our pugnacious prez claims he’d be “gracious”
If he lost. (His lie-library’s spacious.)
Donald did in fact lose,
But his goal’s to confuse,
Bilk, and bully — that’s “Trump the Mendacious.”
Poor Donald’s a delicate flower;
The mere thought of his loss makes him glower.
So he lies and brings suits;
Claims they’re all in cahoots
To prevent him from staying in power.
Trump’s Sore-Winner Speech (Limerick)
Wednesday, January 24th, 2024A sane presidential candidate would have been pleased after his double-digit New Hampshire primary win over Nikki Haley. But not Donald! He was so furious over Haley’s concession speech vow to remain in the race, that he seethed instead of celebrating:
“Mr. Trump delivered a crude, bitter victory speech attacking Ms. Haley; her chief surrogate, Gov. Chris Sununu of New Hampshire; and the state’s primary process…”
Tags: Campaign Humor, Campaign Satire, Donald Trump, Election Humor, Election Satire, Haley, New Hampshire, Nikki Haley, Republican Primary, Republicans Humor, Trump, Trump Speech
Posted in Campaign 2024, Campaign Humor, Donald Trump, Election 2024, Election Satire, Political Commentary, Political Limericks, Political Speeches, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Trump | Comments Off on Trump’s Sore-Winner Speech (Limerick)