Archive for the ‘Public Safety’ Category
Saturday, December 24th, 2011
This TSA incident surely takes the cake:
A woman says an airport security officer in Las Vegas confiscated her frosted cupcake because he thought the icing on it could be explosive.
It seems the TSA agent told her the cupcake’s “frosting was ‘gel-like’ enough to constitute a security risk.”
TSA Rules Still Don’t Gel (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
The TSA rules must be eased
Cuz a cupcake in Vegas was seized.
And when icing on cakes
Is deemed fishy, it makes
All the TSA guys look diseased.
Tags: Air Travel Satire, Airline Limerick, Airline Verse, Airport Humor, Cupcake Threat, Icing On The Cake, Las Vegas, Nevada, Terrorism, Transportation Humor, Transportation Security Administration, Travel Humor, TSA
Posted in National Security Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Public Safety, Terrorism, Transportation Safety | 3 Comments »
Tuesday, November 23rd, 2010
My open limerick to the traveling public was inspired by this article about gynecological pat-downs and this letter from physicist Rep. Rush Holt, which questions the safety of full body scan technology:
An Open Limerick To Airline Passengers
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Airline riders, it’s time to speak out.
The TSA rules we must flout.
Radiation or mauling —
They both are appalling.
To submit gives the terrorists clout.
(You can find my Pat-Down Put-Down limerick here.)
Tags: Air Travel Satire, Body Scans, Flight Screening Procedures, Full Body Pat Downs, Invasion of Privacy, Transportation Security Administration, Travel Humor, TSA
Posted in National Security Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Privacy Humor, Public Safety, Terrorism, Transportation Safety | 2 Comments »
Tuesday, November 16th, 2010
Sorry I’ve been so quiet lately. But I have a great excuse: Mark and I went on the first annual Lewis Black Comedy Cruise. You can read all about our fun comedy cruise adventures here.
But now it’s time to get back to the work of political mockery. Fortunately, I’ve returned from my travels just in time to make fun of the TSA’s delightful new privacy-invading screening procedures. And I’m still trying to figure out which I prefer as my ticket to plane boarding: a “nude body scan or genital groping.”
That brings me to my latest limerick:
Pat-Down Put-Down
By Madeleine Begun Kane
You’re a teen and can’t get to first base?
You’re a fondler, but fearful of Mace?
Well a pat-down career
Can be yours. (Front and rear.)
Be a TSA Feel-Her-Up Ace.
Tags: Air Travel Satire, Body Scans, Flight Screening Procedures, Full Body Pat Downs, Invasion of Privacy, Transportation Security Administration, Travel Humor, TSA
Posted in National Security Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Privacy Humor, Public Safety, Terrorism, Transportation Safety | 7 Comments »
Wednesday, May 5th, 2010
My husband Mark and I live in New York City and frequently dine and see plays in the Times Square area. In fact, had the two of us not been so exhausted from our Las Vegas vacation, that’s where we probably would have been Saturday night. Perhaps that’s why I’m especially offended by John McCain’s apparent desire to undermine the prosecution of alleged terrorists.
What am I talking about? McCain said it would be a “serious mistake” if car bombing suspect Faisal Shahzad, a naturalized American citizen, was Mirandized.
I’m sorry, but the only way Mirandizing Shahzad would be a mistake is if your goal is to taint the evidence, get it thrown out of court, and lose the damn case.
And that brings me to my latest two-verse limerick:
John McCain — Ignoramus, Liar, Or Terrorist Sympathizer?
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Shahzad was Mirandized. Oh my!
Cue McCain and his pandering lie.
To warn him was wrong—
That’s McCain’s specious song.
He malpractices law on the fly.
For Miranda’s a citizen’s right.
Fail to warn him? You’re in for a fight.
Cuz evidence gotten
That way is deemed rotten.
Acquittal is what you invite.
Tags: Car Bombing, Constitution Verse, Criminal Justice, Criminal Law, Faisal Shahzad, John McCain, Legal Verse, Miranda Rights, Terrorism, Terrorist Trials, Times Square
Posted in Constitution Humor, FBI Humor, John McCain, Law Satire, National Security Humor, Political Commentary, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Public Safety, Publicity Hounds, Terrorism | 7 Comments »
Wednesday, December 30th, 2009
Republicans have been treating Nigerian Abdulmutallab’s failed Christmas Day bombing of Flight 253 like a Christmas gift from Al Qaeda — something really juicy to exploit.
In fact, the Republicans’ partisan response to this attempted terrorism has been so shameless, even Politico noticed.
Republicans like Pete Hoekstra, James DeMint, Dan Burton, and many others have earned themselves a triple limerick by playing politics with national security:
Shameless Republicans On Christmas Attack
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Exploiting a terror attempt
Is surely beneath all contempt.
But that never would stop
Such a GOP op:
“Bash Obama! He failed to preempt.”
There is plenty of blame they should share
For that terrorist scare in the air.
We’ve no TSA head:
DeMint “held” him instead
Of a vote. It’s Republican guerre.
As for funding our air travel screening,
They vote no. Seems they’re pro-terror leaning.
Though their record is poor,
They keep spouting full-bore.
Please Republicans, spare us your preening.
NOTE: Here’s some unrelated, but timely, New Years Resolutions humor: It Is Hereby Resolved.
Tags: Abdulmutallab, Al Qaeda, Dan Burton, Detroit, James DeMint, National Security, Pete Hoekstra, Politico
Posted in Barack Obama, Blame Game, Dan Burton, Foreign Policy, GOP Humor, James DeMint, National Security Humor, Pete Hoekstra, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Public Safety, Republicans Humor, Terrorism, Transportation Safety, White House | 5 Comments »
Monday, August 31st, 2009
Brace yourself for a large dose of libertarian outrage: Texting while driving may soon be outlawed.
An organization of state highway safety officials on Monday plans to call for a ban on texting while driving, joining a growing chorus of legislators and safety advocates endorsing such a policy.
The group, the Governors Highway Safety Association, whose members are appointed by state governors to lead highway safety agencies, said it adopted the policy in light of a growing body of research showing the increased crash risk posed by texting motorists.
And that brings me to my latest limerick:
Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Texting?
By Madeleine Begun Kane
If you text while you drive, you’re insane.
You’re a hazard like snow, ice, and rain.
And if govs have their way,
You will soon have to say:
“BRB, AFK, must refrain.”
(If my last line needs translating, here’s a chat and text message abbreviation dictionary.)
Related Posts: Multi-Task Madness; Pedestrian Plea; Multitasking Mania; and Contending With Time
Tags: Cars, Cell Phones, Chatting, Drivers, Governors, Highway Safety, Law Enforcement, Libertarians, Motorists, Multitasking, Technology, Texting
Posted in Automobiles Satire, Driving Humor, Law Satire, Legislation Humor, Political Limericks, Public Safety, Technology Humor | Comments Off
Thursday, February 5th, 2009
Life in Washington, D.C. must be great! Otherwise, the D.C. Council would surely have better things to do than passing laws that require drivers to remove snow from their cars.
I’m not kidding. The D.C. Council has “unanimously approved emergency legislation that will require drivers to remove frozen snow and ice from their vehicles.”
But the good news is there’s no fine … yet … just a warning. A last minute amendment eliminated the fine “until a hearing can be held and council members can study laws in other jurisdictions.”
I love “Nanny State” laws, don’t you?
D.C. Snow Job
By Madeleine Begun Kane
I am guessing D.C. is crime free,
And that cops there are bored as can be.
How else to explain
A new law that’s insane:
Auto-snow is illegal debris.
Tags: Cars, Cops, Law Enforcement, Snow
Posted in Crime, Driving Humor, Legislation Humor, Nanny State, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Public Safety, Washington, Weather Satire | 6 Comments »
Monday, October 22nd, 2007
The AP is reporting about the latest Bush administration cover-up:
Anxious to avoid upsetting air travelers, NASA is withholding results from an unprecedented national survey of pilots that found safety problems like near collisions and runway interference occur far more frequently than the government previously recognized.
NASA gathered the information under an $8.5 million safety project, through telephone interviews with roughly 24,000 commercial and general aviation pilots over nearly four years. Since ending the interviews at the beginning of 2005 and shutting down the project completely more than one year ago, the space agency has refused to divulge the results publicly.
Just last week, NASA ordered the contractor that conducted the survey to purge all related data from its computers. …
This doesn’t surprise me. After all, the only threats to our safety that the Bush administration wants us to know about are fictitious threats that suit Bush/Cheney’s warmongering purposes.[tags]NASA, Air Travel Safety, Bush Administration Cover-Up[/tags]
Posted in NASA, Public Safety, Transportation Safety | 4 Comments »
John McCain — Ignoramus, Liar, Or Terrorist Sympathizer?
Wednesday, May 5th, 2010My husband Mark and I live in New York City and frequently dine and see plays in the Times Square area. In fact, had the two of us not been so exhausted from our Las Vegas vacation, that’s where we probably would have been Saturday night. Perhaps that’s why I’m especially offended by John McCain’s apparent desire to undermine the prosecution of alleged terrorists.
What am I talking about? McCain said it would be a “serious mistake” if car bombing suspect Faisal Shahzad, a naturalized American citizen, was Mirandized.
I’m sorry, but the only way Mirandizing Shahzad would be a mistake is if your goal is to taint the evidence, get it thrown out of court, and lose the damn case.
And that brings me to my latest two-verse limerick:
John McCain — Ignoramus, Liar, Or Terrorist Sympathizer?
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Shahzad was Mirandized. Oh my!
Cue McCain and his pandering lie.
To warn him was wrong—
That’s McCain’s specious song.
He malpractices law on the fly.
For Miranda’s a citizen’s right.
Fail to warn him? You’re in for a fight.
Cuz evidence gotten
That way is deemed rotten.
Acquittal is what you invite.
Tags: Car Bombing, Constitution Verse, Criminal Justice, Criminal Law, Faisal Shahzad, John McCain, Legal Verse, Miranda Rights, Terrorism, Terrorist Trials, Times Square
Posted in Constitution Humor, FBI Humor, John McCain, Law Satire, National Security Humor, Political Commentary, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Public Safety, Publicity Hounds, Terrorism | 7 Comments »