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Archive for February, 2009

Quote of the Day

Saturday, February 28th, 2009

“The great irony of where we are today is that we had a Bush-Obama big-spending program that was bipartisan in its nature. We got big spending under Bush, now we’ve got big spending under Obama.” (Newt Gingrich as quoted by the New York Times)

Funny, but I could have sworn that Dick Cheney was Bush’s Veep.

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Posted in Dick Cheney Satire, Economy Humor, Fiscal Policy, GOP Humor, George Bush Satire, Newt Gingrich Humor, Political Commentary, Quote Of The Day, Republicans Humor | No Comments »

Rep. Hensarling Channels Rumsfeld

Thursday, February 26th, 2009

Rep. Jeb Hensarling (R-TX) spouted these enlightening remarks on C-SPAN today:

I don’t think we can figure out how to outlaw recessions any more than we can outlaw tornadoes or outlaw hurricanes. … Economic growth has never gone in one straight line up. It goes in a zigzag line. It’s a part of freedom. Sometimes freedom can be messy. Sometimes freedom has reversals. But it certainly beats the alternative.

Just three questions for Rep. Hensarling:

1. Are non-democracies recession-proof?
2. Are you trying to make Governor Jindal look insightful?
3. If we fight to end the recession, do the terrorists win?

Oh, and please tell me who exactly is trying to outlaw recessions. Because that phantom person may just be the only living being who out-idiots Rep. Hensarling.

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Posted in Economy Humor, Fiscal Policy, GOP Humor, Political Commentary, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor | No Comments »

Ode To Bobby “Kenneth the Page” Jindal

Wednesday, February 25th, 2009

I hate to pile on to the Bobby-Jindal-channeled-Kenneth-the-Page assault. Okay I lied … I just love to pile on.

Jindal’s GOP response last night was a gift to Democrats in terms of both style and content. (I’ll leave it to others like Buzzflash to analyze the substance of Bobby Jindal’s speech.)

Getting back to style, the similarity between Jack McBrayer’s “Kenneth the Page” character on NBC’s “30 Rock” and Jindal’s sing-song, sixth-grader-talking-to-third-graders response to Obama’s speech before Congress last night is downright weird.

And that’s why my latest limerick poses the question that everybody’s surely asking right now: Are “Kenneth the Page” and Bobby Jindal related?

Ode To Bobby “Kenneth the Page” Jindal
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Dear Bobby, is Kenneth your twin?
From your voices, I’d swear you were kin.
You’re the GOP’s best?
Then the GOP’s quest
For the White House is done — you can’t win.

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Posted in Campaign Humor, GOP Humor, Political Commentary, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor | No Comments »

Political Twittersphere Words of Wisdom

Monday, February 23rd, 2009

Mystified about Twitter? Wondering what the tweet fuss is all about? Desperate to find out what words of wisdom you’ve missed by ignoring the Political Twittersphere?

Well, your worries are over. Because I’m launching (as a public service) the Political Twittersphere Words of Wisdom. Here’s my first selection of recent, genuine, and attributed tweet quotes:

“trying to explain to junior white house staffers that mickey rourke was once young handsome and supercool.” @jaketapper

“tweeting about twitter no longer meta, now oafish. starting…..NOW.” @jaketapper

“My intvu with Gov. Huntsman. He says GOP needs ‘bold solutions’ instead of ‘gratuitous political griping.’” @NorahODonnell

“I’m at Chef Geoff’s eating the most delicious meal ever of bucatini and veal meatballs. Can u say garlic?” @NorahODonnell

“So @algore makes cut w/ 12 tweets since Nov? And I didn’t even know @chuckgrassley existed. But we’re talking so @thepolitico wins.” @williambeutler

“Bombay. It should be called Bombay, dammit. #oscars” @williambeutler

“you would think that our largest affiliate could actually put us on the air before the 1st segment ends. grrrrr.” @Radioblogger (Senior producer of the Hugh Hewitt Show)

“All GOP governors will take most of the money. Otherwise, they’re taxing their residents for states that didn’t control spending.” @KarlRove

“query: once all the newspapers are gone, what happens during an internet outage?” @craig_crawford

“Why is Gibbs tie distracting me? Perhaps that’s the point since he’s having to talk about cutting entitlements.” @craig_crawford

“Choreography at White House fiscal event is interesting: Obama calls on McCain, Cantor, etc Maybe he’s serious abt this bipartisanship stuff.” @TerryMoran

“Feeling kind of defeated in my shabby attempts to pretend to cover the WH. Do I need to sip from the Potomac more? Or less?” @anamariecox

“Cosi across the street from the WH is like an annex. Two other journos here, Secret Service guy just got a chicken salad to go.” @anamariecox

Well, that’s it for the first edition of Political Twittersphere Words of Wisdom. Please let me know if I should make this a regular feature. Oh … and if you’d like to follow me on Twitter I’m @MadKane.

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Posted in Media Satire, Political Commentary, Technology Humor, Twitter | 3 Comments »

Ode To Roland Burris

Wednesday, February 18th, 2009

The (I hope) soon-to-be-ex-Senator Roland Burris is quite the word weasel, isn’t he? So I thought I’d join the calls for his resignation with my latest limerick:

Ode To Roland Burris
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Dear Roland, you ought to resign,
And impeachment’s your due, so don’t whine.
But the news ain’t all bad:
Though you lied, you can add
Your short Senator stint to your shrine.

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Posted in Congress Humor, Democrats Satire, Impeachment Humor, Law Satire, Legal Limericks, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Senate Satire, Washington | No Comments »

Facebook’s Onerous TOS Change

Monday, February 16th, 2009

If you ever republish your posts on Facebook, you may want to reconsider because of Facebook’s new, perpetual rights-grabbing TOS change.

I have information about this on my other blog plus … of course … a Facebook Face Off limerick.

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Posted in Blogging Advice, Hi Tech Humor, Law Satire, Legal Limericks, Non-Political Humor, Non-Political Verse, Technology Humor | No Comments »

Obama Hasn’t Fixed Everything Yet? What’s Taking Him So Long?

Friday, February 13th, 2009

I can’t decide whether Bret Stephens is nuts or just a really bad satirist.

I’m referring to his Wall Street Journal column entitled Obama’s Charm Isn’t Working Wonders Abroad, in which he recites a litany of foreign policy problems and wonders why Obama hasn’t solved them all yet. After all, it’s been twenty-one whole days!

Both Steve Benen and Steve M. assume Stephens suffers from unrealistic expectations.

But I’m wondering whether Stephens is trying to pass sarcasm off as satire.

And that brings me to my latest limerick:

Obama Hasn’t Fixed Everything Yet? What’s Taking Him So Long?
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Poor Bret is beginning to fret
Cuz our enemies still are a threat.
And Barack (he critiques)
Has been prez three whole weeks.
If this isn’t a spoof, get a net!

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Posted in Barack Obama, Foreign Policy, GOP Humor, Media Satire, Political Commentary, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor | 2 Comments »

The Bully Pulpit Isn’t Enough, When You’re Dealing With Bullies

Monday, February 9th, 2009

I never thought Barack Obama’s post-partisan unity shtick would work. So I’m not surprised that no matter how much Obama reaches out to Republicans, they abuse the privilege.

So, is Obama finally wising up? The good news is he’s beginning to make more aggressive use of the presidential bully pulpit to promote the fiscal stimulus bill.

On the other hand, Obama seems to be in triangulation mode, apparently buying into GOP “centrists’” proposed tax and spending cuts.

Somebody please clue the President into this fundamental precept:

     Give Republicans an inch and they’ll take you — hard.

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Posted in Barack Obama, Congress Humor, Economy Humor, Fiscal Policy, GOP Humor, Mad Thoughts, Political Commentary, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, Senate Satire, Tax & Budget Humor, Twisted Aphorisms | 2 Comments »

Mad Thought Of The Day

Sunday, February 8th, 2009

Are Republicans insane? Their bombastic rants and stimulus bill obstructionism could easily lead to that conclusion.

But I think there’s a more basic explanation. Republicans are simply being consistent with their long-held GOP credo:

     If at first you don’t succeed, make sure your successors don’t either.

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Posted in Economy Humor, Fiscal Policy, GOP Humor, House Satire, Legislation Humor, Mad Thoughts, Political Commentary, Political Jokes & One-Liners, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, Senate Satire, Tax & Budget Humor, Twisted Aphorisms | No Comments »

Hey Republicans, Go Filibuster Yourselves! (Updated)

Saturday, February 7th, 2009

It looks like the Senate may end up passing a stimulus bill that’s smaller (spending-wise), larger (tax-cut-wise), and far less likely to work than the bill passed in the House.

I don’t know about you, but I’m sick and tired of Senate Democrats letting Republicans blackmail them with the mere threat of a filibuster. Here’s a thought: Instead of caving in to GOP demands, how about telling them to go filibuster themselves?

Find out if they’re bluffing. Make them work for all those concessions. Let the American public see GOP venality and obstructionism in action!

And that brings me to my latest verse:

Hey Republicans, Go Filibuster Yourselves!
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Dear Republicans, stop all your bluster—
Your obstructionist taunt: “Filibuster!”
Just go through with your threat.
Dems, please make these guys sweat,
And we’ll see what support they can muster.

I am betting they don’t have the numbers,
That they’re bluffing. (Dems let them — the bumblers.)
But majority rules
When they don’t act like fools.
Dems, we need a good bill. Don’t be fumblers!

(Updated first paragraph for clarity.)

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Posted in Congress Humor, Democrats Satire, Filibuster Humor, Law Satire, Legislation Humor, Political Commentary, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, Senate Satire, Tax & Budget Humor, Washington | 5 Comments »

D.C. Snow Job

Thursday, February 5th, 2009

Life in Washington, D.C. must be great! Otherwise, the D.C. Council would surely have better things to do than passing laws that require drivers to remove snow from their cars.

I’m not kidding. The D.C. Council has “unanimously approved emergency legislation that will require drivers to remove frozen snow and ice from their vehicles.”

But the good news is there’s no fine … yet … just a warning. A last minute amendment eliminated the fine “until a hearing can be held and council members can study laws in other jurisdictions.”

I love “Nanny State” laws, don’t you?

D.C. Snow Job
By Madeleine Begun Kane

I am guessing D.C. is crime free,
And that cops there are bored as can be.
How else to explain
A new law that’s insane:
Auto-snow is illegal debris.

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Posted in Crime, Driving Humor, Legislation Humor, Nanny State, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Public Safety, Washington, Weather Satire | 6 Comments »

Only Peons Have To Pay Taxes (Updated)

Monday, February 2nd, 2009

First Tim Geithner, and now Tom Daschle. Anyone else getting tired of rich, powerful people failing to pay taxes, saying “Oops! Sorry! My bad!” and getting away with it?

Geithner’s already gotten his big promotion to Treasury Secretary in Obama’s Cabinet. And I’m betting that after pretending to give Tom Daschle a hard time, the Senate will soon give its former Majority Leader his Health and Human Services Secy gig too.

Just one question: May I join the Tax Defaulters Club, if I promise to pay up in the event I’m ever tapped for high office?

I didn’t think so.

Only Peons Have To Pay Taxes (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

I’m so sick of political sleaze
Who think they can do as they please.
Pay their taxes? Not them!
Be they right-wing or Dem,
With big friends their promotion’s a breeze.

Update: Daschle has withdrawn. Good! How about Howard Dean?

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Posted in Barack Obama, Democrats Satire, Health Satire, Political Commentary, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Senate Satire, Tax & Budget Humor, Tim Geithner, Tom Daschle | 5 Comments »