Archive for the ‘Inhofe Humor’ Category

Ode To Pro-Rape Republicans

Friday, October 9th, 2009

Thirty Senate Republicans voted to keep rape victims who work for defense contractors from having their day in court. How? By voting against an Al Franken-proposed amendment to the 2010 Defense Appropriations Bill that would withhold defense contracts from companies (like Dick Cheney’s KBR) “if they restrict their employees from taking workplace sexual assault, battery and discrimination cases to court.”

Franken was inspired to sponsor this amendment by the ordeal of Jamie Leigh Jones, who was gang-raped by her co-workers while working for Halliburton/KBR in Baghdad. A clause in Jones’ KBR employment contract made employer-friendly private arbitration her only recourse, precluding Jones from seeking justice in court.

I hope all those pro-rape Republicans (listed below my limerick) are proud of themselves:

Ode To Pro-Rape Republicans (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Though Republicans yearn for support
From females, they’re bound to fall short:
Their position on rape
Is in criminal shape
Cuz they treat it like less than a tort.

Here’s the list of the thirty pro-rape Republican Senators:
Lamar Alexander (R-TN) John Barrasso (R-WY) Christopher Bond (R-MO) Sam Brownback (R-KS) Jim Bunning (R-KY) Richard Burr (R-NC) Saxby Chambliss (R-GA) Tom Coburn (R-OK) Thad Cochran (R-MS) Bob Corker (R-TN) John Cornyn (R-TX) Mike Crapo (R-ID) Jim DeMint (R-SC) John Ensign (R-NV) Michael Enzi (R-WY) Lindsey Graham (R-SC) Judd Gregg (R-NH) James Inhofe (R-OK) Johnny Isakson (R-GA) Mike Johanns (R-NE) Jon Kyl (R-AZ) John McCain (R-AZ) Mitch McConnell (R-KY) James Risch (R-ID) Pat Roberts (R-KS) Jeff Sessions (R-AL) Richard Shelby (R-AL) John Thune (R-SD) David Vitter (R-LA) Roger Wicker (R-MS)

Dear Senator Inhofe

Tuesday, July 28th, 2009

Boohoohoo! Poor, innocent Republicans are being hassled by wingnut birthers — loons who would refuse to believe President Obama was born in the U.S., even if they witnessed his Hawaiian birth themselves.

And it doesn’t help that Republicans like Sen. Jim Inhofe (R-Okla.) encourage this nonsense by saying birthers “have a point” and by blaming Obama — claiming “the White House has not done a very good job of dispelling the concerns of these citizens.”

That brings me to my latest limerick:

Dear Senator Inhofe
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Dear Inhofe, I’ve heard you do deals
That are fishy and steal people’s meals.
You have proof it’s not true?
Doesn’t matter — won’t do.
Now Inhofe, you see how it feels?

Update: The House has passed a resolution by 378 to 0 celebrating the 50th anniversary of Hawaiian statehood. The resolution included language recognizing the state as President Obama’s birthplace.

Wingnut birthers are gonna be mad!

Ode To Tropical Breeze Colonoscopies (Updated)

Wednesday, May 20th, 2009

It wasn’t bad enough that Sen. Jeff Sessions cited “tropical breezes” in extolling the glories of Gitmo. Now we have Sen. Jim Inhofe bragging about Gitmo’s health care — colonoscopies for inmates over fifty-five. Whoopee!

If I were British, I’d probably write this song parody:

Gitmo Prison, here I come.
Need a doc to check my bum.

But instead, I’ll have to settle for a limerick:

Ode To Tropical Breeze Colonoscopies
By Madeleine Begun Kane

I’m moving to Gitmo real soon
Cuz I’m told inmate health care’s a boon.
Colonoscopies free
After fifty-five. Whee!
So please lock me up, Sen. Buffoon!