Archive for October, 2016

Poor Trump: The Mics Are Rigged Against Him (Limerick)

Thursday, October 27th, 2016

Ever wonder what Trump does for a hobby? Apparently he bitches about microphones:

Donald Trump amplified his contentious history with microphones Thursday, blaming the technology for recording what he thought he was saying in private.

In an interview set to air Thursday, Trump faulted a hot mic for capturing him speaking cavalierly about forcibly kissing and groping women with impunity because he’s ‘a star.’

‘The microphones, I mean to be honest should, you know, should never have been on,’ he said, according to an excerpt of an interview scheduled to broadcast Thursday evening with the global Catholic network EWTN and published by The Washington Post.

Trump’s revealed who is really at fault
For his infamous brags of assault.
Donald’s mic is to blame
For his “pussy” boast fame.
Trump’s a media pro? Oy gevalt!

Down-Market Donald (Limerick)

Wednesday, October 26th, 2016

Here’s some news that has cheered me a bit:
Donald’s branding has taken a hit.
The elite who can pay
His steep rates, now say “Nay!”
So Trump’s “luxury” name ain’t worth spit.

Going To Town About The Election (Limerick)

Tuesday, October 25th, 2016

This election is nearing its end
None too soon; I’ve gone plumb round the bend.
I can’t handle more jive.
My mind’s taken a dive.
It needs Hillary’s village to mend.

Trump “Bronx Cheered” In Manhattan (Limerick)

Friday, October 21st, 2016

At a charity, heckling is rare,
But Trump got derision to spare
At the Alfred Smith Dinner.
Trump wasn’t the winner?
“Rigged” booing, no doubt. How unfair!

Limerick Ode To Losing “Bigly”

Thursday, October 20th, 2016

Donald lost the debate rather “bigly.”
The jig’s up, Mr. “Bigwig.” Your prigly
And pigly deportment
And oddball assortment
Of views “rigged the deal” … and I’m giggly.

Limerick Ode To Donald “Sore Loser” Trump

Tuesday, October 18th, 2016

It’s all “rigged,” Donald’s loudly contended;
Childish whining, before the game’s ended.
What’s his proof? Trump has none!
He’s undone his own run
Through behavior that can’t be defended.

But to Donald, he’s never to blame;
Not his lies, nor his predator fame
Could ever account
For the polls, as they mount
Against Trump and his Alt-Rightist game.

Pre-Debate Queries (Limerick)

Monday, October 17th, 2016

Will Donald show up to debate
And act crazy, confused, or irate?
Will he spread taller tales,
As he coke-sniffs and wails?
It’s all moot; Trump has sealed his own fate.

When Exactly Was Trump Shackled? (Limerick)

Wednesday, October 12th, 2016

Does anyone remember Donald Trump being shackled? Me neither.

And yet here’s Trump on Twitter: “It is so nice that the shackles have been taken off me and I can now fight for America the way I want to.”

It’s time for a two-verse limerick. (5 Lines just aren’t enough.)

Now that Trump’s been “unshackled,” beware:
Donald’s free to be mean as a bear.
Trump the “gentleman’s” done.
Trump the tough guy’s begun;
That’s his threat in an effort to scare.

But this taunt leaves me rather amused,
Because Donald has constantly oozed
Spiteful bile on the stump.
Trump has ALWAYS been Trump,
Spewing lies that are venom-infused.

Trump Gropes For A Distraction (Limerick)

Sunday, October 9th, 2016

The debaters are poised for the kill.
(I’m referring to Donald and Hill.)
Here’s the answer we need:
Will The Donald succeed
In changing the villain to Bill?

Pence Offended, But Apparently Not THAT Offended (Limerick)

Saturday, October 8th, 2016

Donald Trump has expressed his “remorse,”
Says Mike Pence, who is “grateful,” of course.
He hopes Trump will impart
What he has “in his heart.”
It seems Pence doesn’t want a ‘divorce.’

Limerick Ode To A Sorry Apology

Saturday, October 8th, 2016

Trump’s “pussy” apology’s terse!
(The Donald is “sorry” averse.)
“You should give me your votes,”
He shamelessly notes.
“Elect ME, cuz her husband’s done worse.”

Never Judge A Bloke By His Mild-Mannered Cover! (Limerick)

Thursday, October 6th, 2016

Mike Pence is even worse on women’s health issues than I thought: As a Congressman, it was Pence who introduced the first bill to block Planned Parenthood funding. He even fathered the Republican habit of blocking essential bills and threatening government shutdowns over defunding Planned Parenthood. So it’s time for a limerick:

Trump’s a sexist, we rail and we fret,
But here’s something we’d best not forget:
Pence invented the scheme
V. Planned Parenthood. Scream
To the rafters: “Mike Pence is a threat!”

Trump’s True Talent (Limerick)

Thursday, October 6th, 2016

Donald brags he’s a “genius” type laddie,
But at bus’ness, he’s naught but a baddie.
With his losses and grift,
What was Donald’s true gift?
Getting bailouts galore from his daddy.

Here’s some excellent investigative reporting from Newsweek’s Kurt Eichenwald: DONALD TRUMP’S TAX RECORDS: A TALE OF BUSINESS FAILURES.

Open Limerick To Mike Pence

Wednesday, October 5th, 2016

Dear Mike Pence, I am duly impressed.
You bested Tim Kaine, I’ll attest.
You’re so cool under fire,
Too bad you’re a liar!
And since when is mendacity blessed?

Limerick Ode To Donald “The Genius” Trump

Sunday, October 2nd, 2016

The Donald’s a genius? Who knew
That huge losses are great to accrue?
Though I’d be morose
From a deficit close
To one billion, for Trump it’s a coup.