Posts Tagged ‘Bill Clinton’

The National Archives Has Written Some “Dear Ex” Letters (Limerick)

Thursday, January 26th, 2023

Headline: “National Archives asks past presidents, VPs to look for classified items”

Says the National Archives, “Dig deep,
If you once were the Prez or the VEEP.
Check under the rocks
For classified docs.”
Seems it’s time for a very clean sweep.

Trump’s Latest Club? (Limerick)

Thursday, December 10th, 2020

Trump will soon join a club that’s exclusive.
He’s resisting, though entry’s elusive.
Here’s the obvious rub:
The Ex-Presidents’ Club
Views the Donald as nuts and abusive.

Trump’s “Blame Everyone But Himself” Mentality (Limerick)

Thursday, October 25th, 2018

“As wave of attempted bombing continues, Trump chooses to blame the victims.”

Who’s to blame for the bombs that were sent
To kill people Trump loves to torment
Via Twitter and speeches?
The victims, Trump screeches.
The Divider-In-Chief must repent!

Hypocritical Pence (Limerick)

Wednesday, August 8th, 2018

Mike Pence’s hypocrisy cries out for a limerick:

Vice President Mike Pence once argued the president of the United States should be held to the highest moral standards to determine whether he should resign or be removed from office.”

Pence made the argument in two columns in the late 1990s, where he wrote that then-President Bill Clinton’s admission of an affair with a White House intern and prior lies to the public about the matter, possibly under oath, meant Clinton should be removed from office.

When Bill Clinton was Prez, Pence decried
And denounced Bill’s affairs. How he tried
To get Clinton expelled.
But such quibbles seem quelled;
He’s Trump’s VEEP now, so standards have died.

Newt’s Obstruction Hypocrisy (Limerick)

Saturday, June 17th, 2017

“A prez can’t obstruct!” Gingrich aims
To aid Trump, throwing logic in flames.
So I must ask Newt why
He failed to apply
That same “rule” to his Whitewater claims.

Trump Gropes For A Distraction (Limerick)

Sunday, October 9th, 2016

The debaters are poised for the kill.
(I’m referring to Donald and Hill.)
Here’s the answer we need:
Will The Donald succeed
In changing the villain to Bill?

Limerick Ode To A Sorry Apology

Saturday, October 8th, 2016

Trump’s “pussy” apology’s terse!
(The Donald is “sorry” averse.)
“You should give me your votes,”
He shamelessly notes.
“Elect ME, cuz her husband’s done worse.”

Buh-Bye Dan Burton (Limerick)

Tuesday, January 31st, 2012

Bill Clinton nemesis Dan Burton is finally retiring. Good riddance!

The Republican Indiana Congressman, who fathered an out-of-wedlock son, was famed for his anti-Bill Clinton vendetta, his Vincent-Foster-was- murdered obsession, and his backyard Foster-shooting “re-enactment.”

Burton was at his most famous in the 1990’s, when he led many of the investigations against President Bill Clinton. “If I could prove 10 percent of what I believe happened, he’d [Clinton] be gone,” Burton declared in 1998. “This guy’s a scumbag. That’s why I’m after him.”

His campaigns against Clinton began in full force when he delivered a House speech in which he alleged that Deputy White House Counsel Vince Foster, whose death was ruled a suicide, was actually murdered and his body moved to Fort Marcy Park in northern Virginia.

Buh-Bye Dan Burton (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

At long last, we are closing the curtain
On the slanderous reign of Dan Burton.
His witch-hunt campaigns
To put Clinton in chains
Mean that Dems shall not miss him — that’s certain!

Supreme Story

Wednesday, June 30th, 2010

Way back in 1999, President Bill Clinton nominated a brilliant lawyer for a seat on the federal appeals court based in the District of Columbia.

Alas, that lawyer never got to the D.C. bench. Indeed, the brilliant nominee never even got to testify before the Senate Judiciary Committee.

You see, the lawyer suffered from a fatal flaw — she’d been named by a Democratic President, and her appointment would shift the balance of a very important court. So Republican Senator Orrin Hatch, as chairman of the Senate Judiciary Committee, blocked her nomination, refusing to schedule a hearing.

Disappointed but undaunted, the brilliant lawyer pursued other legal opportunities over the years and achieved great success.

More than a decade after this ill-fated nomination, the federal bench beckoned once again. But this time it was a nomination to the highest court of the land.

Getting a hearing wasn’t a problem this time. A hearing where Senator Hatch and his fellow Republicans would look askance at the brilliant lawyer, complaining she lacked the very judicial experience they had denied her.

Who was that brilliant lawyer? Elena Kagan.

And now you know… the rest of the story.

Related Posts: Robin Ghivan Makes Me Cross, Why I’ll Never Be A Supreme Court Justice, Leery About Elena, and Obama’s What???

Go Away Already, Bushie Spinmeisters!

Monday, March 16th, 2009

The Bush-Cheney spinmeisters refuse to go away. Last week it was Ari Fleischer, and this week it’s Dana Perino on CSPAN’s Washington Journal.

Perino actually said Bush should get some credit for last week’s stock market upswing. And she falsely claimed for the gazillionth time that Bush inherited a recession from Bill Clinton.

U.S. economy as of January 20, 2001. U.S. economy as of January 20, 2009. Exactly the same, right?

Sigh… It’s time for a limerick:

Go Away Already, Bushie Spinmeisters!
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Blame Barack when the stock market drops.
When it rises say Bush deserves props.
That’s Perino’s approach.
(Bush deserves no reproach.)
Yes, at double talk Dana is tops.

What Would The Press Do Without Clinton Rumors?

Thursday, November 20th, 2008

Hillary wants to be Obama’s Secretary of State. Hillary doesn’t know if she wants to be Secretary of State. Bill’s standing in her way. Bill’s fully cooperating. Obama’s made an offer. Obama hasn’t made an offer. The blogs think it’s a terrible idea. The blogs think it’s a great idea.

Just one question: Does anyone else think all this rumor-mongering is a wee bit silly?

What Would The Press Do Without Clinton Rumors? (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

The press is so desp’rate for drama
In a White House that’s run by Obama,
That they eagerly tell
Bill and Hill tales pell-mell.
No Clintons? They’d run home to mama.