Archive for the ‘Filibuster Humor’ Category

Open Limerick From Mitch McConnell To Harry Reid

Friday, November 22nd, 2013

Most Democrats are pleased that Harry Reid finally pulled the trigger on a filibuster rules change. Mitch McConnell? Not so much!

Open Limerick From Mitch McConnell To Harry Reid
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Mitch to Harry: You’ll live to regret
The rule change you made. That’s a threat.
How dare you show fight!
Wreaking havoc’s our right.
Will we keep being evil? You bet!

Limerick Ode To Harry “Big Talker” Reid

Monday, April 8th, 2013

Once again, Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid is making threats about filibuster reform — this time with noise about the “nuclear option.” All I can say is: Blah, blah, blah!

Limerick Ode To Harry “Big Talker” Reid
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Harry Reid is again voicing threats
To reform Senate rules. Oh yes, let’s!
But his words have no stock,
As Republicans block
Most Dem action — abuse Reid abets.

Bacon’s Crusade Ain’t Kosher (Limerick)

Friday, February 8th, 2013

Here’s a headline I could have done without: “Bill would define abortion as murder.”

State Rep. Rob Bacon believes abortion is murder and he wants the Iowa Code to reflect that.

Bacon, R-Slater, and eight other Republicans introduced such a bill in the Iowa House Wednesday. It would alter the definition of a person in murder cases to “an individual human being, without regard to age of development, from the moment of conception, when a zygote is formed, until natural death.”

Those charged with murder, under the bill, would include a mother who takes abortion-inducing drugs or a doctor who performs an abortion. It also grants no exceptions for rape, incest or to protect the life of the mother.

Bacon’s Crusade Ain’t Kosher (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

If an Iowa Rep has his way
Women’s rights will yet further decay.
Zygote-rights will be greater
Than gals’, as pols cater
To nuts. Will he fail? Let us pray.

Limerick Ode To Tom Harkin

Monday, January 28th, 2013

Here’s a headline I sure didn’t want to read: Veteran Iowa Sen. Tom Harkin to retire after the 2014 elections.

Harkin, a staunch liberal who advocated for serious filibuster reform, announced his retirement very shortly after Sen. Harry Reid caved and made a pathetically week filibuster “reform” deal with Sen. Mitch McConnell.

While I’m no mind reader, I’m betting the two are connected.

Limerick Ode To Tom Harkin
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Tom Harkin is stepping aside.
His loss will be hard to abide.
I blame Reid, cuz he blew
His big chance for some true
Filibuster reform, which has died!

Limerick Memo To Republican Parents

Friday, May 25th, 2012

Memo To Republican Parents of College-Age Children: When federal student loan rates double this July, you’ll only have yourselves to blame:

Senate Republicans filibustered a bill to extend the current interest rate on federal student loans, blocking an extension from moving forward by a vote of 51-43 (with 60 votes needed to advance the bill). They blocked a similar effort earlier this month. Without an extension, interest rates will double in July from 3.4 percent to 6.8 percent.

Limerick Memo To Republican Parents
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Sen. Republicans live in a bubble,
Untroubled that loan rates will double:
They repeatedly block
A Dem bill that would lock
In low rates, treating students like rubble.

Limerick Ode To Ben Nelson

Thursday, December 29th, 2011

Why would anyone, other than a Republican, lament “centrist” Senator Ben Nelson’s decision not to run for reelection?

Limerick Ode To Ben Nelson
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Ben Nelson won’t run again. Great!
He took stands that were easy to hate:
Helped Republicans halt
Senate votes. Oy gevalt!
He’s a DINO. There’s just no debate.

Limerick Ode To Bernie Sanders

Friday, December 10th, 2010

As you know, most of my limericks mock politicians or the media. But today’s verse is in honor of the great Sen. Bernie Sanders (I-Vt.) The stand he took today in his Senate filibuster of Obama’s tax deal with the Republicans was wonderful to behold:

Limerick Ode To Bernie Sanders
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Bravo for our hero, dear Bernie.
He’s engaged in a praise-worthy tourney.
He honors the floor—
Shows he’s great to his core.
Wish more Democrats joined in his journey.

(Thanks also to the two Democratic senators who joined him: Sherrod Brown of Ohio and Mary Landrieu of Louisiana.)

Addled Threats

Monday, March 22nd, 2010

Now that health reform has passed, Republicans are angrier than ever. Mitt Romney calls it an “unconscionable abuse of power” and Bill Kristol is urging repeal in a Weekly Standard editorial. Moreover, Senators John McCain, Judd Gregg and their fellow GOPers are so incensed that they’ve come up with a very creative threat:

GOP senators emerged Monday to caution that the health debate had taken a toll on the institution, warning of little work between parties the rest of this year.

“There will be no cooperation for the rest of the year,” McCain said during an interview Monday on an Arizona radio affiliate. “They have poisoned the well in what they’ve done and how they’ve done it.”

Wow! The next thing you know, Republicans will be vowing to filibuster and obstruct.

And that brings me to my latest limerick:

Addled Threats
By Madeleine Begun Kane

The GOP’s angry as hell.
Says McCain, Dems have “poisoned the well.”
So the rest of the year
We won’t work with them here.
And how is that diff’rent? Do tell!

     

********

I proud to say that this post is mentioned in the excellent
Health Wonk Review: Special Edition On Health Reform.

Ode To An Obstructionist

Friday, March 5th, 2010

As you undoubtedly know, Senator James Bunning (R-Kentucky) is retiring at the end of the year … and none too soon. Embittered and unstable, Jim Bunning seems determined to inflict as much damage as possible during his final months in office.

The immediate crisis caused by “Bunning’s Blockade” is now over, and unemployment benefits and other payments blocked by Bunning’s obstruction are back in the pipeline.

Not that Bunning’s finished making trouble. He also placed a blanket hold on all pending presidential nominees.

Why? Because he felt like it.

I do believe Bunning’s earned himself a limerick:

Ode To An Obstructionist (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Republican Senator Bunning
Seems senile and evilly cunning.
On his way out the door
He’s done damage galore.
But at least he’s not once again running.

Ode To Weak-Kneed Democrats

Monday, January 25th, 2010

In the wake of the Massachusetts election debacle, I keep naively expecting Democrats to wake up and smell the need to stop acting like patsies.

Any minute now (I tell myself) Dems under Obama’s leadership will call a halt to the futile act of making nice with Republicans (and Blue Dogs) and will start pursuing a truly progressive agenda.

But, alas, Democrats seem to have learned exactly the wrong lesson from losing Ted Kennedy’s Senate seat to a Republican.

And that brings me to my latest limerick:

Ode To Weak-Kneed Democrats
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Dear Obama and co are you nuts?
Or did someone abscond with your guts?
If you act like you’re weak
All your power will leak,
Hurling Dems out of town on their butts.

     

********

Some related posts from Think Progress, Common Dreams, Susie Madrak, and Steve Benen.

Joe “Vote 60″ No Mo’

Wednesday, January 20th, 2010

I’ve been searching for a positive note in the Massachusetts election debacle and its effect on health care reform and Obama’s agenda. And I’ve finally found the one up side to Democrat Martha Coakley’s upset loss to Republican Scott Brown:

Joe “Vote 60″ No Mo’ (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Joe Lieberman’s blue — in a pout.
Massachusetts has cost him some clout:
Mr. “Me-Me-My-Mine”
Now just “Vote 59.”
Dems are screwed with his vote or without.

“No-Man” Joe

Saturday, December 5th, 2009

When it comes to health care reform, Joe Lieberman is acting like a petulant baby: “Wah, wah, wah! Dump the public option, or I filibuster. So there!”

I don’t know whether Lieberman’s doing this because he’s owned by insurance companies or because he wants to punish Democrats. But it’s clearly not out of conviction. Otherwise, he could surely keep his rationale straight: Joe’s up to seven nonsensical reasons … and counting.

“No-Man” Joe (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

“Public option’s no good,” asserts Joe.
“Want my health reform vote? It must go.”
But his stated objections
Keep changing directions.
Joe’s mantra on health? “Just say no!”

Related Posts: A Limerick For Traitor Joe; and The Ballad Of Joementum Joe Lieberman.

A Limerick For Traitor Joe

Thursday, October 29th, 2009

Traitor Joe Lieberman is back to his old tricks, once again trying to undermine Democrats. So how’s Joe rewarding Obama and Harry Reid’s excessive generosity in letting Lieberman caucus with the Dems and chair the Homeland Security Committee? By threatening to help Republicans filibuster health reform over the public option.

Joe Lieberman’s latest misanthropic behavior reminds me of the single saving grace in Bush v. Gore: The election was stolen from Lieberman too.

I’ve already written Joe a song parody, so now it’s time for a limerick:

A Limerick For Traitor Joe
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Joe Lieberman’s meanness runs deep.
He’s a back-stabbing, Dem-screwing creep,
Who’s determined to kill
The health reform bill.
But at least he will never be VEEP.

Ode To Senator Judd “Majority Rules, Except When It Doesn’t” Gregg

Thursday, September 3rd, 2009

New Hampshire’s Senator Judd Gregg, a big “majority rules” fan back when Republicans held the majority, has suddenly become a minority rights advocate. I just can’t imagine why.

Way back when, Gregg was enthused about using filibuster-proof reconciliation rules to pass ANWR drilling legislation:

… “The point, of course, is this: If you have 51 votes for your position, you win,” Gregg told his Senate colleagues on the floor.

He added, “Reconciliation is a rule of the Senate (that) has been used before for purposes exactly like this on numerous occasions… Is there something wrong with majority rules? I don’t think so.”

Responding to the argument that it’s wrong to use reconciliation on a domestic oil drilling measure, Gregg concluded, “We are using the rules of the Senate as they are set up to be used, and that happens to be the rule of the Senate.”

Of course now that there’s a Democratic majority, Gregg has a rather different opinion and is leading the Republican fight against passing health care reform under reconciliation rules:

Sen. Judd Gregg has hundreds of procedural objections ready for a healthcare plan Democrats leaders want to speed through the Senate.

Gregg (N.H.), the senior Republican on the Budget Committee, told the Hill in a recent interview that Republicans will wage a vicious fight if Democrats try to circumvent Senate rules and use a budget maneuver to pass a trillion dollar healthcare plan with a simple majority. [...]

Gregg said that Republicans could file “hundreds” of points of order objections to the bill, each one requiring 60 votes to waive.

“We are very much engaged in taking a hard look at our rights under reconciliation,” Gregg said. “It would be very contentious.”

And that brings me to my latest limerick:

Ode To Senator Judd “Majority Rules, Except When It Doesn’t” Gregg
By Madeleine Begun Kane

“Majority rule is just great,”
Said Gregg in the drilling debate.
“You’ve got 51 votes,
Then you win.” Check his quotes.
Yet 51 Dem votes don’t rate.

Related Posts: Open Limerick To President Obama; Republicans Were For “Death Panels” Before They Were Against Them; Tantrum Politics; and Waterloo Lies

Hey Republicans, Go Filibuster Yourselves! (Updated)

Saturday, February 7th, 2009

It looks like the Senate may end up passing a stimulus bill that’s smaller (spending-wise), larger (tax-cut-wise), and far less likely to work than the bill passed in the House.

I don’t know about you, but I’m sick and tired of Senate Democrats letting Republicans blackmail them with the mere threat of a filibuster. Here’s a thought: Instead of caving in to GOP demands, how about telling them to go filibuster themselves?

Find out if they’re bluffing. Make them work for all those concessions. Let the American public see GOP venality and obstructionism in action!

And that brings me to my latest verse:

Hey Republicans, Go Filibuster Yourselves!
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Dear Republicans, stop all your bluster—
Your obstructionist taunt: “Filibuster!”
Just go through with your threat.
Dems, please make these guys sweat,
And we’ll see what support they can muster.

I am betting they don’t have the numbers,
That they’re bluffing. (Dems let them — the bumblers.)
But majority rules
When they don’t act like fools.
Dems, we need a good bill. Don’t be fumblers!

(Updated first paragraph for clarity.)

Ode To “Traitor” Joe Lieberman (Updated)

Friday, November 7th, 2008

Now that the Democratic Senate majority has grown so much, Harry Reid plans to strip Joe Lieberman of his Homeland Security Committee chairmanship, even if Joe continues to caucus with the Democrats.  Sounds great to me! (Update: Lieberman’s chairmanship status will be determined by a secret Democratic Senate caucus vote on November 18th.)

Of course, Lieberman thinks Reid’s being mean and unfair.  Cuz apparently Dems are supposed to just look the other way after Lieberman disses Obama and campaigns enthusiastically for McCain, Palin and down-ticket Republicans.

Joe’s even intimating that he may caucus with the Republicans.  Well I, for one,  say good riddance, and I hope Harry Reid (and his fellow Dems) stick to their guns.   Lieberman can’t be trusted to back Dems when it comes to filibusters, so who needs him?

And now it’s time for a limerick:

Ode To “Traitor” Joe Lieberman
By Madeleine Begun Kane

“Traitor” Joe is distressed — I don’t care.
He deserves to be stripped of his chair.
Cuz when push comes to shove
He shows Lieberman-love.
Mitch can take him … and buyer beware!

Yet Another Filibuster Song Parody (The Full-a-Bluster Song)

Tuesday, July 17th, 2007

Remember when the Republican majority flipped out at the mere whisper of the word filibuster? Remember when GOPers led by Bill Frist, Mitch McConnell, and Trent Lott threatened the “nuclear option” if Democrats had the audacity to filibuster any of George Bush’s extremist judicial nominees?

Those were heady days back then, when Republicans would scream “Up or down vote!” and decry Democrats as “obstructionists,” and the media would obediently parrot their condemnations. Oh yes … and the Democrats caved and failed to filibuster, giving us a whole slew of rightwingnut federal judges who will haunt us for many decades to come.

Well now that the Republicans are the minority party they just love the filibuster and have conveniently forgotten that they ever condemned it.

Back when filibusters were “bad,” I wrote a filibuster song parody to the French-Canadian children’s song Alouette.  Somehow it seems like a good time for a new set of lyrics to the same tune:

The Full-a-Bluster Song
By Madeleine Begun Kane

“Filibuster.
Ban the filibuster!”
Ancient bluster
from the GOP.

With a Dem majority
Republicans think differently:
“Great device!
Ain’t it nice.
Blocks Dem bills!
They’re all on ice.”

Oh…

Filibuster
Suddenly has luster.
Grand Old Party’s
Hack Hypocrisy. 

(You can find more of my political song parodies here.)[tags]Filibuster, GOP Hypocrisy, Trent Lott, Mitch McConnell, Bill Frist, Song Parody, Republicans, Iraq War, Nuclear Option, Up Or Down Vote, Obstructionism, Judicial Nominees[/tags]