Posts Tagged ‘Health Humor’

Trump Exercises His Right Not To Exercise (Limerick)

Tuesday, May 9th, 2017

A headline like this one demands a limerick: “Donald Trump thinks exercise will kill you.”

Will exercise kill you? The guy
In the Oval believes it. That’s why
Donald looks like he looks.
(I’d been blaming his cooks.)
This explains why to VEEP Pence said “AYE!”

Trump’s Frustration (Limerick)

Thursday, March 23rd, 2017

On healthcare, Trump gives up the store.
But the wingnuts say “No!” They want more!
Donald throws up his hands
At their endless demands;
It’s golf-time. This feels like a chore.

Republican Cruelty (Limerick)

Thursday, March 23rd, 2017

You think healthcare expenses are rough?
Wait till RyanCare’s passed. It’s so tough
On folks who ain’t rich,
You’ll say, “Life is a bitch!”
Yet some holdouts claim: “NOT mean enough!”

Limerick Ode to Science Disbelievers plus Sundry Haiku

Tuesday, February 3rd, 2015

Limerick Ode To Science Disbelievers
By Madeleine Begun Kane

The Republican problem with science
Is their members respond with defiance
To facts that are proved.
(Have their brains been removed?)
They spread lies to excuse non-compliance.

*****

Refusing vaccines,
Don’t-Tell-Me-What-To-Doers
now infect us all.

*****

Exodus of thought–
an exodus of science–
the GOP way.

*****

Misinformation
delib’rately spread by Fox–
blindly accepted.

*****

Republican pols–
implacable enemy
of fairness and facts.

******

The truth-challenged pols
have taken over Congress–
therein LIES the rub.

*****

A Heavenly Quote (Limerick)

Friday, March 21st, 2014

While discussing Obamacare and the Healthcare.gov roll-out, Biden said Obama deserves sainthood. Now this strikes me as a trifle excessive. On the other hand, Joe Biden is a humorist’s godsend.

A Heavenly Quote (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Dear Veep Biden, your lack of restraint
Is often amusing and quaint.
But you’ve gone overboard
(Don’t you think — Oh my lord!)
In calling Obama a saint.

Our Unhealthy Nomination Process (Limerick)

Thursday, March 20th, 2014

Obama’s highly qualified Surgeon General nominee, Vivek Murthy, is in limbo. Why? Because Murthy supports an assault weapons ban and believes guns are a health care issue.

Our Unhealthy Nomination Process (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

The move against Murthy ain’t stealth
Cuz gun fans are using their wealth.
Seems his Surgeon Gen. quest
Failed the NRA test:
He thinks guns can be bad for your health.

Barack & Zach (Limerick)

Wednesday, March 12th, 2014

Bill O’Reilly is outraged, once again, at Barack Obama. What is it this time? The president had the audacity to go where the twenty-somethings are, in order to plug the Affordable Care Act and HealthCare.gov; he gamely appeared on Funny Or Die’s “Between Two Ferns,” for an interview with Zach Galifianakis.

Barack & Zach
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Obama’s appearance with Zach
Has inspired O’Reilly’s attack:
A strong prez would not go
On a comedy show
To plug HealthCare.gov and just yak.

It seems Bill is a psychic. Oh my!
He’s an all-knowing, soothsaying guy,
Who swears Lincoln would never
Have gone on (not ever!!!)
A show done by Funny Or Die.

Trafficking In Hypocrisy (Limerick)

Saturday, February 22nd, 2014

New York City Mayor Bill de Blasio’s been catching some flack lately over his traffic-safety initiative. It seems he doesn’t practice what he preaches.

Trafficking In Hypocrisy (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Bill de Blasio warns New York folk
To drive carefully. Safety’s no joke.
Yet the rules take a hike
In Bill’s auto. Did Mike
Ever guzzle a giant-sized Coke?

Note from Mad Kane: For those who don’t follow New York City politics, former Mayor Mike Bloomberg (whom de Blasio criticizes at every opportunity) is famous/infamous for banning super-sized sodas.

Karen Handel’s Dissonant Departure From Komen (Limerick)

Tuesday, February 7th, 2012

Karen Handel has resigned from the Susan G. Komen for the Cure breast-cancer charity. And Handel, a major architect of Komen’s stop-funding-Planned-Parenthood PR disaster, didn’t go sotto voce:

Karen Handel’s Dissonant Departure From Komen (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Sweet music — Ms. Handel’s resigned,
While wailing that SHE’s been maligned:
Blaming HER’s prejudicial,
The ousted official
Complained, leaving bedlam behind.

PolitiFiction Limerick

Tuesday, December 20th, 2011

As Paul Krugman puts it so concisely, “Politifact, R.I.P.” No, Politifact isn’t going out of business, though after its latest credibility-destroying move, it should:

This is really awful. Politifact, which is supposed to police false claims in politics, has announced its Lie of the Year — and it’s a statement that happens to be true, the claim that Republicans have voted to end Medicare.

Steve Benen in the link above explains it, but let me just repeat the basics. Republicans voted to replace Medicare with a voucher system to buy private insurance — and not just that, a voucher system in which the value of the vouchers would systematically lag the cost of health care, so that there was no guarantee that seniors would even be able to afford private insurance.

PolitiFiction Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Politifact’s “Lie of the Year”
Is really the truth, cuz it’s clear
That the GOP plan
Would end Medicare. Man!
There’s no cov’rage — just coupons! Bronx cheer!

Bathing In Bad News

Monday, September 14th, 2009

Just when you thought it was safe to take a shower, here’s a health scare that would make Alfred Hitchcock turn pale:

Bathing In Bad News (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Are health reports making you glower?
Is the swine flu bug making you cower?
Then get ready to frown
At the new scare in town:
Deadly germs in the head of your shower.

Ode To Senator Judd “Majority Rules, Except When It Doesn’t” Gregg

Thursday, September 3rd, 2009

New Hampshire’s Senator Judd Gregg, a big “majority rules” fan back when Republicans held the majority, has suddenly become a minority rights advocate. I just can’t imagine why.

Way back when, Gregg was enthused about using filibuster-proof reconciliation rules to pass ANWR drilling legislation:

… “The point, of course, is this: If you have 51 votes for your position, you win,” Gregg told his Senate colleagues on the floor.

He added, “Reconciliation is a rule of the Senate (that) has been used before for purposes exactly like this on numerous occasions… Is there something wrong with majority rules? I don’t think so.”

Responding to the argument that it’s wrong to use reconciliation on a domestic oil drilling measure, Gregg concluded, “We are using the rules of the Senate as they are set up to be used, and that happens to be the rule of the Senate.”

Of course now that there’s a Democratic majority, Gregg has a rather different opinion and is leading the Republican fight against passing health care reform under reconciliation rules:

Sen. Judd Gregg has hundreds of procedural objections ready for a healthcare plan Democrats leaders want to speed through the Senate.

Gregg (N.H.), the senior Republican on the Budget Committee, told the Hill in a recent interview that Republicans will wage a vicious fight if Democrats try to circumvent Senate rules and use a budget maneuver to pass a trillion dollar healthcare plan with a simple majority. […]

Gregg said that Republicans could file “hundreds” of points of order objections to the bill, each one requiring 60 votes to waive.

“We are very much engaged in taking a hard look at our rights under reconciliation,” Gregg said. “It would be very contentious.”

And that brings me to my latest limerick:

Ode To Senator Judd “Majority Rules, Except When It Doesn’t” Gregg
By Madeleine Begun Kane

“Majority rule is just great,”
Said Gregg in the drilling debate.
“You’ve got 51 votes,
Then you win.” Check his quotes.
Yet 51 Dem votes don’t rate.

Related Posts: Open Limerick To President Obama; Republicans Were For “Death Panels” Before They Were Against Them; Tantrum Politics; and Waterloo Lies

Republicans Were For “Death Panels” Before They Were Against Them

Sunday, August 16th, 2009

Republican hypocrisy is stunning. Almost everyone who’s been throwing around the “death panel” epithet used to have a very different opinion of end-of-life-care planning:

1) Back in her half-term as Alaska governor, Sarah Palin spoke out for advance healthcare directives in her 2008 Healthcare Decision Day Proclamation.

2) Rush Limbaugh enthusiastically read ad copy championing LegalZoom.com, whose services include do-it-yourself living wills.

3) Newt Gingrich recently advocated for advance directives (end-of-life planning) in his July 2nd Washington Post column.

4) Most Senate and House Republicans voted to fund counseling for end-of-life issues and care in George W. Bush’s 2003 Medicare prescription drug bill.

And that brings me to my latest limerick:

Republicans Were For “Death Panels” Before They Were Against Them
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Dear Sarah and Limbaugh and Newt,
Put your “death panel” nonsense on mute.
Cuz you once were big fans
Of end-of-life plans.
Were they “death panels” too? Now please scoot!

Related Posts: An Open Limerick To President Obama; Tantrum Politics; and Waterloo Lies