Archive for the ‘Media Satire’ Category

Limerick Ode To Rachel Maddow

Wednesday, June 7th, 2017

Dear Rachel, you’re back, and we hail
Your return, though you’re still looking pale.
Life without you is cursed,
But your health must come first,
As you help put the Donald in jail.

“Fake News” Hypocrisy (Limerick)

Tuesday, May 30th, 2017

Trump, who loves to slam “unnamed sources” as “fake news,” retweeted “FOX & friends” today:

Jared Kushner didn’t suggest Russian communications channel in meeting, source says.

“Unnamed sources are bad! They spread lies.”
It’s “fake news” when they’re used, Donald cries.
And yet sources unnamed
Who’ve loudly proclaimed
Stuff he likes? Those are upright and wise.

He’s BACK! (Limerick)

Sunday, May 28th, 2017

The Donald’s back bashing the press
After making a terrible mess
Of his meetings with leaders,
Relieving his readers
Of tweet-storm withdrawal distress.

Trump’s Inability To Take A Joke Is NO Joking Matter (Limerick)

Sunday, April 23rd, 2017

I agree: Holding a pep rally to compete with the White House Correspondents’ Dinner makes Trump look vain, insecure, and cowardly.

The Donald is holding a rally
To avoid being roasted. I’d tally
His compulsion to hide
From jokes that deride
As YUUUUGE … which may goose his finale.

Dear Alex Jones (Limerick)

Saturday, April 22nd, 2017

An Alex Jones request, apparently made without any sense of irony:

“Alex Jones releases statement on his ongoing custody trial: ‘I urge the press to be respectful and responsible.'”

Dear Alex, you threw us a curve
And proved you still have quite the nerve
In requesting respect.
Hope the press will elect
To bestow the respect you deserve.

Bill O’Reilly? Buh-Bye!

Wednesday, April 19th, 2017

O’Reilly is OUT? Don’t appease me
And tease me with rumors that please me.
Oh it’s trending on Twitter?
I’ll giggle and titter:
Schadenfreude such news guarantees me.

What Bill O’Reilly Did Wrong, According To Trump (Limerick)

Wednesday, April 5th, 2017

The Harasser-in-Chief’s made his call:
Bill was wrong to make payments at all
To the gals he harassed.
Seems Trump is aghast;
His Compadre-in-Lust took the fall.

Yet Another Time Cover Story For Trump (Limerick)

Thursday, March 23rd, 2017

Time’s Michael Scherer has a cover story which asks the question: “Can President Trump Handle the Truth?” Before I get to my limerick, here’s his last paragraph:

Before he got off the phone, I tried one more time to get Trump to answer a question about the risk to his reputation caused by false and ever changing utterances. Once again, he would not accept the premise. “Hey, look,” he said. “I can’t be doing so badly, because I’m President and you’re not.” As a factual matter, the last part of this statement is indisputably true. And with that, he graciously said goodbye and went back to running the affairs of the most powerful country in the world.

Trump’s presidency is a mess,
But to Donald, his reign’s a success.
Here’s his proof (and it’s squat):
“I’m the prez, and you’re not.”
(This is Trump being nice to the press.)

So Much For That Pivot (3-Verse Limerick)

Saturday, March 4th, 2017

At his speech Tuesday night, Trump seemed sane.
His proposals still sucked, but his brain
And behavior looked stable.
(Less time watching cable?)
Fawning pundits were ably inane:

Trump’s “pivot” was praised by the press,
Who perceived “presidential” finesse.
Heavy meds (I assume)
Might explain his brief bloom
Into something much less of a mess.

But his meds have worn off, I conclude,
Based on stark-raving tweets that he spewed
Just today. Yes his feed
On Twitter indeed
Proves our leader’s a bleeping-mad dude.

Trump Can’t Take A Joke (Limerick)

Sunday, February 26th, 2017

Is Trump too cowardly to attend the annual White House Correspondents’ Association Dinner? So it appears, and nobody’s shedding tears.

White House journalists gather each year
To dine on political cheer,
Where the President jests
And is mocked by some guests.
But Trump’s chicken! He’s bailed — won’t appear.

The White House Drip (Limerick)

Wednesday, February 8th, 2017

Donald’s reign is a journalist’s dream;
It’s so sievelike — it leaks in a stream.
But the White House so leaky
Fills Trump with such pique, he
Keeps bleating his stale, “fake news” theme.

Arise (Limerick)

Friday, December 30th, 2016

There’s a U.S. reality gap,
Where actual facts are deemed pap
And derided as lies.
It’s time to get wise
And arise from our nightmarish nap.

In the meantime we’re haplessly trapped;
Our nation’s been kidnapped and zapped
By a fellow whose con
Has allowed him to don
The cloak of great power, untapped.

Poor Trump: The Mics Are Rigged Against Him (Limerick)

Thursday, October 27th, 2016

Ever wonder what Trump does for a hobby? Apparently he bitches about microphones:

Donald Trump amplified his contentious history with microphones Thursday, blaming the technology for recording what he thought he was saying in private.

In an interview set to air Thursday, Trump faulted a hot mic for capturing him speaking cavalierly about forcibly kissing and groping women with impunity because he’s ‘a star.’

‘The microphones, I mean to be honest should, you know, should never have been on,’ he said, according to an excerpt of an interview scheduled to broadcast Thursday evening with the global Catholic network EWTN and published by The Washington Post.

Trump’s revealed who is really at fault
For his infamous brags of assault.
Donald’s mic is to blame
For his “pussy” boast fame.
Trump’s a media pro? Oy gevalt!

Open Limerick To The Press (3-Verse)

Thursday, September 22nd, 2016

Will the media (including debate moderators) finally do its job during the upcoming presidential debates? My 3-verse open limerick to the press begs the media to do exactly that:

Dear press, that low bar you employ
Judging Trump must be raised. Don’t be coy.
If he hides some bad traits
In these crucial debates,
Don’t applaud Donald’s “pivot” with joy!

If he fails to behave like a clown
And he brings his high lying rate down,
Doesn’t act like a mad man,
Or Trump-bus’ness ad man,
Don’t hand him a pageantry crown.

Stop pretending that Trump’s not an ass.
Stop giving The Donald a pass.
It’s time to admit
That he’s clearly unfit
To be prez. Do your job! Show some brass!

Trump Wrote Another Limerick!

Sunday, August 14th, 2016

The media’s biased, ill-bred,
And in bed with that crook who’s ahead.
If I lose, it’s the press
Who’s at fault for my mess.
How dare they report what I’ve said!

Donald Trump Boosts Pet Wallaby Sales? (Limerick)

Monday, May 30th, 2016

According to this strange interview, Republican Kelly Maher, a political analyst, is so depressed by Donald Trump that she bought a pet wallaby for emotional support.

About Trump, Kelly’s very upset.
She’s so jumpy, she got a new pet
To help with her sadness
And wall off the madness.
Will a Wallaby help her not fret?

Trump Headline Game

Monday, May 16th, 2016

I keep seeing headlines like this: “Trump Reversal on Fundraising Not Hurting Him.”

So I decided to make up some headlines of my own:

“Trump Reversal on CHANGING HIS GENDER Not Hurting Him.”

“Trump Reversal on KIDNAPPING POLO PONIES Not Hurting Him.”

“Trump Reversal on EVICTING CALIFORNIA Not Hurting Him.”

Feel free to create your own fake (yet almost plausible) Trump headlines using this format:

“Trump Reversal on {BLANK BLANK} Not Hurting Him.”

You may either use your own words, or choose one word from “Group 1” and one word from “Group 2.”


Group 1:

Abusing
Adopting
Appointing
Arresting
Banishing
Banning
Beating
Berating
Bilking
Borrowing
Bribing
Building
Burying
Changing
Cheating
Complimenting
Curing
Declaring
Decorating
Demolishing
Destroying
Disclosing
Donating
Drooling
Envy
Evicting
Firing
Forgiving
Freeing
Hacking
Helping
Hiding
Humiliating
Impeaching
Incorporation
Insulting
Inventing
Kidnapping
Negotiating
Killing
Lampooning
Legalizing
Locking Up
Lowering
Lying
Manipulating
Marauding
Mocking
Mortgaging
Mourning
Selling
Occupying
Ordering
Outlawing
Pardoning
Pillaging
Praising
Promoting
Punishing
Raging
Raising
Raping
Refinancing
Renaming
Renting Out
Revolting
Rewarding
Slaughtering
Smoking
Shooting
Strangling
Subdividing
Suing
Switching
Tearing Down
Torturing
Unburying
Voting
Winning
Worshiping

Group 2:
Amazon
Animal Sacrifice
Art Museums
Asians
Assets
Bankers
Bankruptcy
Bathrooms
Ben Carson
Bernie
Bezos
Birth Certificate
Blood
Brand
Budget
Builder
Bums
Cabinet Member
California
Canaries
Cheapskates
Cheater
China
Clinton
Clouds
Clown
College
Conspiracy
Corpses
Court
Crickets
DNC
Debate
Debt
Defendant
Democrats
Disclosure
Donations
Dope
Election Fraud
Elephants
Executive Orders
Fairness
Figure Skating
Flautists
Gender
Ghosts
God
Golf Course
GOP
Haters
Health Care
Heathens
Hillary
History
House
Illegals
Immigrants
Immigration
Insurance
Iran
Iraq
Israel
Jews
Justice
Kindergarten
Latinos
Lawyers
Liars
Litigation
Loans
Loser
Mars
Math
Media
Medicare
Megyn Kelly
Men
Mental Illness
Mexico
Miss Universe
Models
Monkeys
Monopoly
Moron
Mosquitos
Muslims
Neanderthals
Negotiator
New York
Obama
Oboe Players
Order
Parties
Paul Ryan
Peace
Penis
Penis Envy
Plaintiff
Pluto
Polls
Polo
Ponies
Porn
Press
Prison
Privacy
Protesters
Putin
Rain
Real Estate
Republicans
Respect
Revolution
RNC
Running Mate
Russia
Science
Secrets
Senate
Shadows
Slob
Snow
Social Security
Supreme Court
Tacos
Taxes
Tax Returns
Terrorists
Total Loser
Turtles
Unfairness
Vagrants
Vampires
Voters
Waitresses
Wall
Wall Street
War
Wealth
White House
Women
Zombies

Those Damn Emails! (Limerick)

Saturday, January 30th, 2016

I’m so sick of the news stories meant
To defame Mrs. Clinton with bent,
Sleazy headlines and lies
Told to make you surmise
That her emails were “secret” when sent.

Trumping The Truth (Limerick)

Wednesday, November 25th, 2015

With their lies, guys like Donald Trump try us.
Prove them wrong, they just laugh and defy us.
They keep getting their way
Cuz there’s NO price to pay.
Call them out? They shout, “Media bias!”

Shedding Tears For Ben Carson? (Limerick)

Monday, November 9th, 2015

The “liberal bias” lie is in full bloom this election cycle. And in its latest manifestation, RNC Chairman Reince Priebus and Hugh Hewitt would have us believe that the press is being really mean to Ben Carson, while treating Hillary Clinton with kid gloves.

Of course such assertions are so laughable, even Joe Scarborough is mocking them.

Hugh Hewitt and Reince look askance
At the Ben Carson cov’rage. Their stance:
It’s a lib-press vendetta!
Hill’s treated much bettah!
(Even Joe isn’t buying their rants.)