Archive for the ‘Media Satire’ Category

Trump Puts Press At Risk (Limerick)

Thursday, August 9th, 2018

Headline: “Media boost security as Trump ramps up ‘enemy’ rhetoric”

When the media covers Trump rallies,
It’s as risky as ent’ring dark allies.
Donald’s shown us his cards,
So the press now needs guards
Due to menacing crowds and threat tallies.

Open Limerick To The White House Press

Monday, August 6th, 2018

White House briefings don’t give us the news.
No instead they spread self-serving views
And start lie-fest infernos.
They demonize journos.
Why attend them? The press should refuse.

To Trump, Misogyny’s Not A Bug, But A Feature (Limerick)

Thursday, July 5th, 2018

Donald Trump took a shine to Bill Shine;
Ailes-ally, ex-Fox Newser swine.
Now he’s hired the guy
For a staff job way high,
Cuz to Donald misogyny’s fine.

Trump Incites Violence Against Journalists (Limerick)

Thursday, June 28th, 2018

Donald constantly bashes the press,
Which adds to the media’s stress
And imperils their lives;
With his words Trump contrives
To inspire his base to aggress.

If Only Trump Could Write Limericks…

Saturday, June 16th, 2018

Headline: “Trump grumbles that North Korea deal not earning wide praise”

My deals are the best! They’re top drawer!
I’ve saved millions from nuclear war.
So where is my credit?
Fake News of course shred it.
I’ll sue till they tell me, “J’adore!”

Open Limerick To White House Press

Thursday, May 3rd, 2018

Jennifer Rubin: “I honestly see no reason for the daily press conference. If she lies it is pointless.”

Dear journos, explain: Why attend
Sanders’ pressers? She lies without end.
There is naught to be gained
From “info” that’s feigned.
Do your homework, make calls, phone a friend.

Sinclair’s Scheme (Limerick)

Wednesday, April 4th, 2018

Headline: “Sinclair producer in Nebraska resigns to protest ‘obvious bias'”

The Trump-loving owner Sinclair
Mandates talking points over the air;
Outlets MUST yell “Fake News”
To dupe and confuse.
The target’s all media that’s fair.

What’s Next For Steve Bannon? A Modest Proposal

Tuesday, January 9th, 2018

Steve Bannon from Breitbart’s been banned;
By the no-mercy Mercers, unmanned.
What’s next for that slob —
Donald’s ex-fav’rite blob?
Does the KKK’s Duke need a hand?

GOP Pols Only Have Themselves To Blame (Limerick)

Friday, November 17th, 2017

PoliticalWire Headline: “The Conservative War on the Media Backfires”

Republican pols have been training
Their voters, through lie-packed complaining,
To reject any news
That might challenge their views–
A great aid to Moore’s Senate campaigning.

Roger Stone’s Bitter About Twitter (Limerick)

Sunday, October 29th, 2017

Why did Twitter suspend Roger Stone?
He sent tweets Twitter cannot condone.
Seems it’s wrong to abuse
Those who bring us the news;
Can’t spew shit-laden threats via phone.

*****

New Republican Slogan:

“Alms for the Rich and Arms for ALL”

*****

DeVos cut 72 guidelines for disabled students.

So serving a mentally disabled president hasn’t upped her empathy 4 the disabled.

*****

Lewandowski: Keep focus on ‘the continued lies of the Clinton administration’

And here I thought Trump was in the Oval. Silly me!

*****

NBCNews Tweet: “President Trump greets members of the press’ kids in Halloween costumes: ‘I cannot believe the media produced such beautiful children'”

Some day those children will be able to proudly tell THEIR children: “When I was your age, I met the USA’s WORST president ever!”

*****

Trump Tweet: “It is now commonly agreed, after many months of COSTLY looking, that there was NO collusion between Russia and Trump. Was collusion with HC!”

At the start of your tweet, you seem to have left out a few key words: “In the Trump family.”

*****

Trump Tweet: “Wacky & totally unhinged Tom Steyer, who has been fighting me and my Make America Great Again agenda from beginning, never wins elections!”

Steyer “unhinged?” You’ve got that backwards. Steyer’s spent $10 million for a TV ad campaign advocating your impeachment because YOU’RE unhinged.

Also, unlike YOU, Steyer’s “REALLY RICH.”

*****

Headline: “Trump: ‘Really great advertising’ will keep kids off drugs.”

Also from Trump: “If we can teach young people not to take drugs … it’s really, really easy not to take them.”

All this from the purported non-drinker who’s driving the rest of us to drink.

*****

The Trump Threat (Limerick)

Saturday, October 21st, 2017

Is Donald a threat to free press?
Well of course my response must be yes.
But much more is in peril
From President Feral;
There’s no end to his menacing mess.

*****

As I train my brain
on our Oval Office bane,
staying sane’s a strain.

*****

Open Limerick To Donald Trump

Thursday, October 5th, 2017

Dear Donald, the news isn’t fiction.
So enough with your “made up” depiction!
It’s your tweets that are fake;
You’re a bum, liar, snake!
How I ache for your fel’ny conviction.

Trump v. The Press (Limerick)

Thursday, October 5th, 2017

Donald Trump’s always fighting a war on
The media, trying to score on
The press via Twitter.
The fellow’s a bitter
And nasty old man and a MORON!

A Trumpian Perspective (Limerick)

Saturday, September 30th, 2017

Unsupportive opinions? Flake views!
Unflattering numbers? A ruse!
No matter the topic,
The Donald’s myopic;
If it isn’t pro-Trump, it’s “Fake News!”

Limericks & Sundry Humor (July and August 2017)

Sunday, August 27th, 2017

I’ve gathered into a single batch loads of limericks and other (mostly Trump-related) humor I wrote during the summer of 2017, while recovering from wrist surgery:

*****
I suspect there’s a hole in Trump’s soul;
Donald pardoned a bigoted troll,
Deeming racism kosher.
(What act could be gaucher?)
Bias AIN’T just okay. It’s Trump’s goal.

*******

An unqualified Trump aide named Gorka,
Who’s despised by most ev’ry New Yorkuh,
Has been dumped. Will he rail
In a big pay-day tale?
I’m betting his story’s a corkuh.

*********

Alas, Harvey is fixing to mow
Through Texas, a menacing blow.
Trump’s FEMA’s done little;
Just talk laced with spittle.
But at least, Donald’s helped Sheriff Joe.

*****

Life With Mark and Madeleine:

Mark: I love NPR, except for late afternoons.

Madeleine: What’s the problem?

Mark: Each time I tune in, I hear the same damn story!

Madeleine: Maybe they should call it “One Thing Considered.”

*****

“Alex Jones calls Charlottesville violence a false flag, because alternative facts are still a thing”

What to do when your allies are caught
Doing wrong, and you fear all’s for naught?
There’s the Infowars’ chestnut:
Yes Jones is the best nut
To hatch “false flag” claims, overwrought.

*****

Oval Office blight;
Hope’s plummeting out of sight.
Can’t succumb to plight!

*****

I have run out of patience with those
Who voted for Trump. Your vote blows!
If you still like the guy,
Please do NOT explain why.
I don’t care; You’re to blame for our woes!

*****

Sarah Huckabee Sanders: “The President is probably one of the strongest presidents we’ve had on economic issues.”

So true! Which Is why I can’t wait for Trump’s forthcoming treatise:

Strong Dollar/ Weak Dollar: Which One’s Better?

*****

Trump Advisor: A quick question, Mr. President, before you leave for golf: Any thoughts on naming an Ambassador to South Korea?

Trump: Absolutely not! No ambassador until they stop building nukes!

Trump Advisor: Sir, I’m pretty sure North Korea’s the one with the nukes.

Trump: Double check and get back to me. But first, where are my clubs?

*****

“POTUS has been briefed on [Hurricane] Harvey’s progress, as well as preparations, by his Homeland Security Advisor, Tom Bossert.”

Bossert: Harvey’s headed to Texas, but things are under…

Trump: Paul Harvey! Great radio guy! But isn’t he dead?

*****

Trump’s White House (from Cab Secs to VEEP)
Is so lawless, I just want to weep.
Take the Hatch Act; Ben’s speech
Last night was a breach.
My advice? Plead “I spoke in my sleep.”

(Ben Carson Hatch Act Phoenix Rally)

*****

“Trump to Congress: Fund the Wall or I’ll Shut the Government”

Donald thinks he has magical powers
To bully, till ev’ryone cowers:
“Build my wall!” (His first love)
“Or I’ll shut down the gov!”
No, not Mexico’s government! Ours!

*****

Trump’s Phoenix Rally

Yet another divisive Trump rally!
(Donald’s held way too many to tally.)
He was crazy, yet boring;
I swear I heard snoring,
As hundreds skipped Donald’s finale.

*****

Photo of the Day: “President Trump stares straight into solar eclipse without glasses”

The eclipse had us viewing our skies,
But ev’ryone knows it ain’t wise
To stare at the sun
While the moon’s having fun;
So dear Donald, good luck with your eyes.

*****

Our Naval destroyer collides.
Ten sailors are lost in the tides.
Trump is asked, as the Prez,
To comment, and says:
“That’s too bad!” What a lift he provides!

*****

Mar-a-Lago keeps losing events,
Reducing Trump’s dollars and cents;
Non-profits galore
Wish to be there no more.
Schadenfreude? My case is immense!

*****

Modest Proposal 4 Trump’s Afghanistan speech:

Declare victory. Take credit. Announce immediate withdrawal.

What’s another Trump lie?

*****

Though Trump skirts the truth to the max,
With an attitude far worse than lax,
He defended delaying
Tough statements by braying:
Before speaking, “I like to know facts.”

*****

Both sides good!
Both sides bad!
Me like facts!
Fake media’s mad!

*****

Dear Trump, don’t expect me to cheer
Today’s speech; your reluctance was clear.
Condemnation delayed
Simply won’t make the grade.
Sneers and jeers for your words insincere!

*****

Me great president!
Racism bad!!!
Everyone happy now?
Can I go back to golf?

*****

The Donald’s an arrogant fool
Who possesses just one tiny tool:
The dominance game,
Which is best not to aim
At someone who’s equally cruel.

*****
Trump & North Korea Haiku

“Fire!” “Fury!”
“Locked and Loaded!”
Adolescent bullies, goaded.

*****

Bombings tend to make Trump go to town;
He’ll speak out and he’ll tweet and he’ll frown!
But he’s yet to decry
Friday’s mosque attack. Why?
Have Twitter and Facebook been down?

*****

Seems that Pence has been caught at ambition,
A perilous White House condition.
Pence denies it, of course.
Will Trump force a “divorce,”
As suspicion incites trust attrition?

*****

“Is the Donald about to ‘reset?'”
That’s a query I simply don’t get.
Yet the press loves to ask it.
Instead, I would task it:
Truly cover our national threat.

*****

The Trump presidency could be just the thing that converts me from agnostic to atheist.

*****

Dear Head of the Boy Scouts, explain
Trump’s invasion inside your domain
With a broadside so mad,
You said “Sorry! My bad!”
Tell me: Why would you think he’d act sane?

*****

If Trump’s White House is a “fine-tuned machine,” mark me down for a jalopy.

*****

Sean Spicer has fled from his box,
So the White House is losing his vox,
Which was often embattled;
He lied and he prattled…
Skills soon to be transferred to Fox?

*****

A visit from “Donald, the Cad”
To London’s postponed; the poor lad
Heard that protests were planned,
Making Trump feel unmanned.
Demonstration-fears stopping him? Sad!

*****

Junk health insurance—
Just what the doctor ordered.

*****

Dear Jared, you’ll soon be in hock
To your lawyers, who bill round the clock.
Will they help you to skate?
I say prison’s your fate,
As a chip off the old Kushner block.

*****

Trump’s Voter Fraud “Investigator” Demands State Voter Records, And States Ain’t Happy:

“Just what are they trying to hide?”
Trump’s response, when most states won’t abide
By vile records demands;
Voter privacy stands
Somehow wrong? Trump’s returns, still un-eyed.

*****

Limerick Ode To Rachel Maddow

Wednesday, June 7th, 2017

Dear Rachel, you’re back, and we hail
Your return, though you’re still looking pale.
Life without you is cursed,
But your health must come first,
As you help put the Donald in jail.

“Fake News” Hypocrisy (Limerick)

Tuesday, May 30th, 2017

Trump, who loves to slam “unnamed sources” as “fake news,” retweeted “FOX & friends” today:

Jared Kushner didn’t suggest Russian communications channel in meeting, source says.

“Unnamed sources are bad! They spread lies.”
It’s “fake news” when they’re used, Donald cries.
And yet sources unnamed
Who’ve loudly proclaimed
Stuff he likes? Those are upright and wise.

He’s BACK! (Limerick)

Sunday, May 28th, 2017

The Donald’s back bashing the press
After making a terrible mess
Of his meetings with leaders,
Relieving his readers
Of tweet-storm withdrawal distress.

Trump’s Inability To Take A Joke Is NO Joking Matter (Limerick)

Sunday, April 23rd, 2017

I agree: Holding a pep rally to compete with the White House Correspondents’ Dinner makes Trump look vain, insecure, and cowardly.

The Donald is holding a rally
To avoid being roasted. I’d tally
His compulsion to hide
From jokes that deride
As YUUUUGE … which may goose his finale.

Dear Alex Jones (Limerick)

Saturday, April 22nd, 2017

An Alex Jones request, apparently made without any sense of irony:

“Alex Jones releases statement on his ongoing custody trial: ‘I urge the press to be respectful and responsible.'”

Dear Alex, you threw us a curve
And proved you still have quite the nerve
In requesting respect.
Hope the press will elect
To bestow the respect you deserve.