Archive for the ‘Media Satire’ Category

The Trump Threat (Limerick)

Saturday, October 21st, 2017

Is Donald a threat to free press?
Well of course my response must be yes.
But much more is in peril
From President Feral;
There’s no end to his menacing mess.

*****

As I train my brain
on our Oval Office bane,
staying sane’s a strain.

*****

Open Limerick To Donald Trump

Thursday, October 5th, 2017

Dear Donald, the news isn’t fiction.
So enough with your “made up” depiction!
It’s your tweets that are fake;
You’re a bum, liar, snake!
How I ache for your fel’ny conviction.

Trump v. The Press (Limerick)

Thursday, October 5th, 2017

Donald Trump’s always fighting a war on
The media, trying to score on
The press via Twitter.
The fellow’s a bitter
And nasty old man and a MORON!

A Trumpian Perspective (Limerick)

Saturday, September 30th, 2017

Unsupportive opinions? Flake views!
Unflattering numbers? A ruse!
No matter the topic,
The Donald’s myopic;
If it isn’t pro-Trump, it’s “Fake News!”

Limericks & Sundry Humor (July and August 2017)

Sunday, August 27th, 2017

I’ve gathered into a single batch loads of limericks and other (mostly Trump-related) humor I wrote during the summer of 2017, while recovering from wrist surgery:

*****
I suspect there’s a hole in Trump’s soul;
Donald pardoned a bigoted troll,
Deeming racism kosher.
(What act could be gaucher?)
Bias AIN’T just okay. It’s Trump’s goal.

*******

An unqualified Trump aide named Gorka,
Who’s despised by most ev’ry New Yorkuh,
Has been dumped. Will he rail
In a big pay-day tale?
I’m betting his story’s a corkuh.

*********

Alas, Harvey is fixing to mow
Through Texas, a menacing blow.
Trump’s FEMA’s done little;
Just talk laced with spittle.
But at least, Donald’s helped Sheriff Joe.

*****

Life With Mark and Madeleine:

Mark: I love NPR, except for late afternoons.

Madeleine: What’s the problem?

Mark: Each time I tune in, I hear the same damn story!

Madeleine: Maybe they should call it “One Thing Considered.”

*****

“Alex Jones calls Charlottesville violence a false flag, because alternative facts are still a thing”

What to do when your allies are caught
Doing wrong, and you fear all’s for naught?
There’s the Infowars’ chestnut:
Yes Jones is the best nut
To hatch “false flag” claims, overwrought.

*****

Oval Office blight;
Hope’s plummeting out of sight.
Can’t succumb to plight!

*****

I have run out of patience with those
Who voted for Trump. Your vote blows!
If you still like the guy,
Please do NOT explain why.
I don’t care; You’re to blame for our woes!

*****

Sarah Huckabee Sanders: “The President is probably one of the strongest presidents we’ve had on economic issues.”

So true! Which Is why I can’t wait for Trump’s forthcoming treatise:

Strong Dollar/ Weak Dollar: Which One’s Better?

*****

Trump Advisor: A quick question, Mr. President, before you leave for golf: Any thoughts on naming an Ambassador to South Korea?

Trump: Absolutely not! No ambassador until they stop building nukes!

Trump Advisor: Sir, I’m pretty sure North Korea’s the one with the nukes.

Trump: Double check and get back to me. But first, where are my clubs?

*****

“POTUS has been briefed on [Hurricane] Harvey’s progress, as well as preparations, by his Homeland Security Advisor, Tom Bossert.”

Bossert: Harvey’s headed to Texas, but things are under…

Trump: Paul Harvey! Great radio guy! But isn’t he dead?

*****

Trump’s White House (from Cab Secs to VEEP)
Is so lawless, I just want to weep.
Take the Hatch Act; Ben’s speech
Last night was a breach.
My advice? Plead “I spoke in my sleep.”

(Ben Carson Hatch Act Phoenix Rally)

*****

“Trump to Congress: Fund the Wall or I’ll Shut the Government”

Donald thinks he has magical powers
To bully, till ev’ryone cowers:
“Build my wall!” (His first love)
“Or I’ll shut down the gov!”
No, not Mexico’s government! Ours!

*****

Trump’s Phoenix Rally

Yet another divisive Trump rally!
(Donald’s held way too many to tally.)
He was crazy, yet boring;
I swear I heard snoring,
As hundreds skipped Donald’s finale.

*****

Photo of the Day: “President Trump stares straight into solar eclipse without glasses”

The eclipse had us viewing our skies,
But ev’ryone knows it ain’t wise
To stare at the sun
While the moon’s having fun;
So dear Donald, good luck with your eyes.

*****

Our Naval destroyer collides.
Ten sailors are lost in the tides.
Trump is asked, as the Prez,
To comment, and says:
“That’s too bad!” What a lift he provides!

*****

Mar-a-Lago keeps losing events,
Reducing Trump’s dollars and cents;
Non-profits galore
Wish to be there no more.
Schadenfreude? My case is immense!

*****

Modest Proposal 4 Trump’s Afghanistan speech:

Declare victory. Take credit. Announce immediate withdrawal.

What’s another Trump lie?

*****

Though Trump skirts the truth to the max,
With an attitude far worse than lax,
He defended delaying
Tough statements by braying:
Before speaking, “I like to know facts.”

*****

Both sides good!
Both sides bad!
Me like facts!
Fake media’s mad!

*****

Dear Trump, don’t expect me to cheer
Today’s speech; your reluctance was clear.
Condemnation delayed
Simply won’t make the grade.
Sneers and jeers for your words insincere!

*****

Me great president!
Racism bad!!!
Everyone happy now?
Can I go back to golf?

*****

The Donald’s an arrogant fool
Who possesses just one tiny tool:
The dominance game,
Which is best not to aim
At someone who’s equally cruel.

*****
Trump & North Korea Haiku

“Fire!” “Fury!”
“Locked and Loaded!”
Adolescent bullies, goaded.

*****

Bombings tend to make Trump go to town;
He’ll speak out and he’ll tweet and he’ll frown!
But he’s yet to decry
Friday’s mosque attack. Why?
Have Twitter and Facebook been down?

*****

Seems that Pence has been caught at ambition,
A perilous White House condition.
Pence denies it, of course.
Will Trump force a “divorce,”
As suspicion incites trust attrition?

*****

“Is the Donald about to ‘reset?'”
That’s a query I simply don’t get.
Yet the press loves to ask it.
Instead, I would task it:
Truly cover our national threat.

*****

The Trump presidency could be just the thing that converts me from agnostic to atheist.

*****

Dear Head of the Boy Scouts, explain
Trump’s invasion inside your domain
With a broadside so mad,
You said “Sorry! My bad!”
Tell me: Why would you think he’d act sane?

*****

If Trump’s White House is a “fine-tuned machine,” mark me down for a jalopy.

*****

Sean Spicer has fled from his box,
So the White House is losing his vox,
Which was often embattled;
He lied and he prattled…
Skills soon to be transferred to Fox?

*****

A visit from “Donald, the Cad”
To London’s postponed; the poor lad
Heard that protests were planned,
Making Trump feel unmanned.
Demonstration-fears stopping him? Sad!

*****

Junk health insurance—
Just what the doctor ordered.

*****

Dear Jared, you’ll soon be in hock
To your lawyers, who bill round the clock.
Will they help you to skate?
I say prison’s your fate,
As a chip off the old Kushner block.

*****

Trump’s Voter Fraud “Investigator” Demands State Voter Records, And States Ain’t Happy:

“Just what are they trying to hide?”
Trump’s response, when most states won’t abide
By vile records demands;
Voter privacy stands
Somehow wrong? Trump’s returns, still un-eyed.

*****

Limerick Ode To Rachel Maddow

Wednesday, June 7th, 2017

Dear Rachel, you’re back, and we hail
Your return, though you’re still looking pale.
Life without you is cursed,
But your health must come first,
As you help put the Donald in jail.

“Fake News” Hypocrisy (Limerick)

Tuesday, May 30th, 2017

Trump, who loves to slam “unnamed sources” as “fake news,” retweeted “FOX & friends” today:

Jared Kushner didn’t suggest Russian communications channel in meeting, source says.

“Unnamed sources are bad! They spread lies.”
It’s “fake news” when they’re used, Donald cries.
And yet sources unnamed
Who’ve loudly proclaimed
Stuff he likes? Those are upright and wise.

He’s BACK! (Limerick)

Sunday, May 28th, 2017

The Donald’s back bashing the press
After making a terrible mess
Of his meetings with leaders,
Relieving his readers
Of tweet-storm withdrawal distress.

Trump’s Inability To Take A Joke Is NO Joking Matter (Limerick)

Sunday, April 23rd, 2017

I agree: Holding a pep rally to compete with the White House Correspondents’ Dinner makes Trump look vain, insecure, and cowardly.

The Donald is holding a rally
To avoid being roasted. I’d tally
His compulsion to hide
From jokes that deride
As YUUUUGE … which may goose his finale.

Dear Alex Jones (Limerick)

Saturday, April 22nd, 2017

An Alex Jones request, apparently made without any sense of irony:

“Alex Jones releases statement on his ongoing custody trial: ‘I urge the press to be respectful and responsible.'”

Dear Alex, you threw us a curve
And proved you still have quite the nerve
In requesting respect.
Hope the press will elect
To bestow the respect you deserve.

Bill O’Reilly? Buh-Bye!

Wednesday, April 19th, 2017

O’Reilly is OUT? Don’t appease me
And tease me with rumors that please me.
Oh it’s trending on Twitter?
I’ll giggle and titter:
Schadenfreude such news guarantees me.

What Bill O’Reilly Did Wrong, According To Trump (Limerick)

Wednesday, April 5th, 2017

The Harasser-in-Chief’s made his call:
Bill was wrong to make payments at all
To the gals he harassed.
Seems Trump is aghast;
His Compadre-in-Lust took the fall.

Yet Another Time Cover Story For Trump (Limerick)

Thursday, March 23rd, 2017

Time’s Michael Scherer has a cover story which asks the question: “Can President Trump Handle the Truth?” Before I get to my limerick, here’s his last paragraph:

Before he got off the phone, I tried one more time to get Trump to answer a question about the risk to his reputation caused by false and ever changing utterances. Once again, he would not accept the premise. “Hey, look,” he said. “I can’t be doing so badly, because I’m President and you’re not.” As a factual matter, the last part of this statement is indisputably true. And with that, he graciously said goodbye and went back to running the affairs of the most powerful country in the world.

Trump’s presidency is a mess,
But to Donald, his reign’s a success.
Here’s his proof (and it’s squat):
“I’m the prez, and you’re not.”
(This is Trump being nice to the press.)

So Much For That Pivot (3-Verse Limerick)

Saturday, March 4th, 2017

At his speech Tuesday night, Trump seemed sane.
His proposals still sucked, but his brain
And behavior looked stable.
(Less time watching cable?)
Fawning pundits were ably inane:

Trump’s “pivot” was praised by the press,
Who perceived “presidential” finesse.
Heavy meds (I assume)
Might explain his brief bloom
Into something much less of a mess.

But his meds have worn off, I conclude,
Based on stark-raving tweets that he spewed
Just today. Yes his feed
On Twitter indeed
Proves our leader’s a bleeping-mad dude.

Trump Can’t Take A Joke (Limerick)

Sunday, February 26th, 2017

Is Trump too cowardly to attend the annual White House Correspondents’ Association Dinner? So it appears, and nobody’s shedding tears.

White House journalists gather each year
To dine on political cheer,
Where the President jests
And is mocked by some guests.
But Trump’s chicken! He’s bailed — won’t appear.

The White House Drip (Limerick)

Wednesday, February 8th, 2017

Donald’s reign is a journalist’s dream;
It’s so sievelike — it leaks in a stream.
But the White House so leaky
Fills Trump with such pique, he
Keeps bleating his stale, “fake news” theme.

Arise (Limerick)

Friday, December 30th, 2016

There’s a U.S. reality gap,
Where actual facts are deemed pap
And derided as lies.
It’s time to get wise
And arise from our nightmarish nap.

In the meantime we’re haplessly trapped;
Our nation’s been kidnapped and zapped
By a fellow whose con
Has allowed him to don
The cloak of great power, untapped.

Poor Trump: The Mics Are Rigged Against Him (Limerick)

Thursday, October 27th, 2016

Ever wonder what Trump does for a hobby? Apparently he bitches about microphones:

Donald Trump amplified his contentious history with microphones Thursday, blaming the technology for recording what he thought he was saying in private.

In an interview set to air Thursday, Trump faulted a hot mic for capturing him speaking cavalierly about forcibly kissing and groping women with impunity because he’s ‘a star.’

‘The microphones, I mean to be honest should, you know, should never have been on,’ he said, according to an excerpt of an interview scheduled to broadcast Thursday evening with the global Catholic network EWTN and published by The Washington Post.

Trump’s revealed who is really at fault
For his infamous brags of assault.
Donald’s mic is to blame
For his “pussy” boast fame.
Trump’s a media pro? Oy gevalt!

Open Limerick To The Press (3-Verse)

Thursday, September 22nd, 2016

Will the media (including debate moderators) finally do its job during the upcoming presidential debates? My 3-verse open limerick to the press begs the media to do exactly that:

Dear press, that low bar you employ
Judging Trump must be raised. Don’t be coy.
If he hides some bad traits
In these crucial debates,
Don’t applaud Donald’s “pivot” with joy!

If he fails to behave like a clown
And he brings his high lying rate down,
Doesn’t act like a mad man,
Or Trump-bus’ness ad man,
Don’t hand him a pageantry crown.

Stop pretending that Trump’s not an ass.
Stop giving The Donald a pass.
It’s time to admit
That he’s clearly unfit
To be prez. Do your job! Show some brass!

Trump Wrote Another Limerick!

Sunday, August 14th, 2016

The media’s biased, ill-bred,
And in bed with that crook who’s ahead.
If I lose, it’s the press
Who’s at fault for my mess.
How dare they report what I’ve said!