Posts Tagged ‘Rick Santorum’
Thursday, July 30th, 2015
What Can They Be Thinking? (2-Verse Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Gilmore’s entered the race. What a snore!
(Does the GOP really need MORE?)
Sixteen guys and one gal–
Most with no rationale
For believing they’ll get to the fore.
Just what keeps them all willing to stump,
As their poll numbers tumble and slump?
While they stand at the brink,
I suppose most pols think:
“I must surely be better than Trump!”
Tags: Ben Carson, Bobby Jindal, Campaign Satire, Carly Fiorina, Chris Christie, Donald Trump, Election Humor, George Pataki, GOP Humor, Jeb Bush, Jim Gilmore, John Kasich, Lindsey Graham, Marco Rubio, Mike Huckabee, Rand Paul, Republicans Humor, Rick Perry, Rick Santorum, Scott Walker, Ted Cruz
Posted in Bobby Jindal, Campaign Humor, Chris Christie, Donald Trump, Election Satire, GOP Humor, Jeb Bush, Lindsey Graham, Marco Rubio, Mike Huckabee, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Rand Paul, Rick Perry, Rick Santorum, Scott Walker, Ted Cruz, White House | Comments Off on What Can They Be Thinking? (2-Verse Limerick)
Friday, June 19th, 2015
Conservatives Race To Alter Race-Crime Reality
By Madeleine Begun Kane
When a racist whose head’s out of whack
Kills nine churchgoers just cuz they’re black,
Wingnuts lay it on thick
With a claim that’s just sick:
“Christian freedom is under attack.”
Right-wing culprits in this outrageous distortion of the Charleston church massacre include Rick Santorum, Jeb Bush, Lindsey Graham, and sundry Fox News hosts.
Tags: Charleston Church Massacre, Christianity, Dylann Roof, Fox News, Hate Crimes, Lindsey Graham, Religion Humor, Rick Santorum
Posted in Crime, Fox News Humor, GOP Humor, Lindsey Graham, Media Satire, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, Rick Santorum, South Carolina Humor | Comments Off on Conservatives Race To Alter Race-Crime Reality (Limerick)
Wednesday, March 18th, 2015
For a lawyer, Rick Santorum seems clueless about the U.S. Constitution.
Rick Santorum proclaims, “Yes we can,”
Force his bible on schools — that’s his plan.
Rick forgets the Supremes
8 to 1 banned such schemes…
Else the gov could impose the Koran.
Tags: Education Humor, Public Schools, Religion Humor, Religion Satire, Religious Freedom, Rick Santorum
Posted in Education Limerick, GOP Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Religious Satire, Republicans Humor, Rick Santorum | Comments Off on Santorum’s Stupidity of Biblical Proportions (Limerick)
Monday, September 17th, 2012
Who else but Mitt Romney surrogate Rick Santorum, could beam with pride while saying: “We will never have the elite, smart people on our side.”
Mitt’s Strange Surrogate (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
If you’re smart, then you ain’t on our side,
Said Santorum with singular pride.
Dear Rick, does Mitt know
You exultingly glow
With support from dim folks nationwide?
Tags: Campaign Satire, Election Humor, Elite, Mitt Romney, Rick Santorum
Posted in Campaign Humor, Election Satire, GOP Humor, Mitt Romney Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, Rick Santorum | Comments Off on Mitt’s Strange Surrogate (Limerick)
Tuesday, April 10th, 2012
Rick Santorum, having apparently read Pennsylvania’s tea leaves, exited the 2012 presidential race. Did Mitt Romney promise him something? Or is Santorum simply avoiding another home state debacle, so as to preserve his shot at Election 2016? I vote for the latter.
Santorum Saves Himself For 2016 (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Rick Santorum’s bowed out of the race.
It appears that the man could not face
The risk that he’d lose
His home state. Best refuse
To continue, avoiding disgrace.
Tags: Campaign Humor, Election 2012, Election 2016, Election Satire, Home State, Mitt Romney, Pennsylvania, Republicans Humor, Rick Santorum
Posted in Campaign Humor, Election Satire, GOP Humor, Mitt Romney Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, Rick Santorum | Comments Off on Santorum Saves Himself For 2016 (Limerick)
Thursday, March 8th, 2012
Rick Santorum’s campaign is stunningly inept in its failure to qualify for sundry ballots.
Yes, I know that Santorum’s campaign is woefully under-funded. And that he never expected to get this far. But at some point, I can’t help wondering whether Santorum is using the faith-based method of ballot qualification.
Of course all this begs the question: Why the heck can’t Mitt Romney finish him off?
Limerick Ode To An Endless Republican Primary
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Rick Santorum’s campaign is inept,
Under-funded, abysmally prepped.
Yet the contest is split:
Hairline wins made by Mitt
Where the Gov should have easily swept.
Tags: Ballot Qualification, Campaign Humor, Election Satire, Faith-Based Humor, Mitt Romney, Presidential Campaign, Republican Primary, Rick Santorum
Posted in Campaign Humor, Election Satire, GOP Humor, Mitt Romney Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, Rick Santorum | 2 Comments »
Tuesday, February 28th, 2012
Did you know that higher education is snobbish and elitist? And that it causes liberal indoctrination? That’s the message we’ve been getting lately from Republicans like Rick Santorum and Mitt Romney. They each have a trio of college degrees … but hey, who’s counting? In fact, why even bother learning to count?
Yes, indeed, there’s a Republican war on college education:
First came Mitt Romney’s dismissive remarks about President Obama’s “faculty lounge” pals. Now Rick Santorum is calling Obama snobby for urging people to go to college – and defending that view in a series of TV appearances.
Education — Schmeducation (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
“Don’t bother your miniscule head
With college — don’t need higher ed.”
That’s the Rick and Mitt screed,
Though they’re multi-degreed.
Informed-voters — yes, that’s what they dread.
Tags: Campaign Humor, College Humor, Education Humor, Election Satire, Higher Education, Informed Electorate, Informed Voters, Liberal Indoctrination, Mitt Romney, Republican War On College, Rick Santorum
Posted in Campaign Humor, Education Limerick, Election Satire, GOP Humor, Mitt Romney Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, Rick Santorum | 3 Comments »
Wednesday, February 22nd, 2012
If any Republican operative should know not to joke about killing President Obama, it’s pollster/wordsmith Frank Luntz. And yet that’s precisely what he did:
If you think the race for the Republican presidential nomination has been ugly, you’re right. However, a recent joke by Republican pollster and Fox News analyst Frank Luntz indicates that the general election promises to be even uglier. Warming up a crowd at a Rick Santorum campaign event Monday night, Luntz cracked, “I have a ‘Run, Barack, Run’ bumper sticker, but I put it on the front of my car.
Here’s Rachel Maddow’s story on this, including the video of Luntz’s running-President-Obama-over joke.
Frank Luntz’s Killer Of A Joke (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
The Republican messaging czar
Is an expert at framing — a star.
Yet he loves to tee-hee
That Obama must flee,
Or be struck by a GOP car.
Tags: Assassination Jokes, Barack Obama, Campaign Humor, Election Satire, Fox News, Framing Humor, Frank Luntz, Political Bumper Stickers, Political Messaging, Pollsters, Rachel Maddow, Republican Operatives, Rick Santorum, Run Barack Run, Tasteless Jokes
Posted in Automobiles Satire, Barack Obama, Election Satire, Fox News Humor, Frank Luntz, GOP Humor, Political Jokes & One-Liners, Political Limericks, Political Speeches, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, Rick Santorum, RNC Humor | Comments Off on Frank Luntz’s Killer Of A Joke (Limerick)
Tuesday, February 21st, 2012
When I see a title like this, I pretty much have to write a limerick: Santorum Good for Chastity-Belt Sales? Manufacturer Says, “We’ve Had a Boost”
The Chastity Chase (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Here’s good news for Republican men:
You can guard against gals with a yen
For sex you deem evil
With something primeval:
Yes chastity belts — Curb your hen!
Tags: Birth Control Limerick, Campaign Humor, Chastity Belts, Contraception Humor, Election Satire, Feminist Limerick, GOP Humor, Health Care, Republicans Humor, Rick Santorum, Sexist Humor
Posted in Abortion Rights, Birth Control Humor, Campaign Humor, Constitution Humor, Contraception Humor, Election Satire, Feminism Humor, GOP Humor, Health Satire, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, Rick Santorum | 2 Comments »
Saturday, February 18th, 2012
In case all those ads haven’t clued you in, Presidents Day is nearly here. To celebrate, I’ve written a pair of clerihews for would-be presidents Mitt Romney and Rick Santorum. What’s a clerihew? A whimsically biographical four-line poem, more fully described here.
Willard Mitt Romney
Has wealth that’s omni.
But he’s stiff as a yoke.
Kindly give that man a toke.
*****
Ricky Santorum
Loves his forum.
Being prez is his quest
In a knit sweater vest.
(My set of eight Eight 4-Liners For The Initial Republican Contenders is here.)
Tags: Campaign Humor, Election Satire, February Holidays, Mitt Romney, Political Clerihews, Presidents Day, Rick Santorum
Posted in Campaign Humor, Election Satire, GOP Humor, Holidays Humor, Mitt Romney Humor, Political Clerihews, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, Rick Santorum, White House | Comments Off on Just In Time For Presidents Day — Would-Be Presidential Clerihews
Thursday, February 16th, 2012
After yesterday’s post, I’d hoped to be done with birth control commentary for a while. But then I saw this headline: Santorum Sugar Daddy Foster Friess Gives ‘Gals’ Contraception Advice: Put An Aspirin Between Your Knees. And that story lives up to its headline:
Appearing on MSNBC with Andrea Mitchell today, Foster Friess, the main donor to the Super PAC backing Rick Santorum’s presidential bid, dismissed the controversy surrounding President Obama’s new birth control rule by suggesting that women should just keep their legs shut…
FRIESS: “On this contraceptive thing, my gosh, it’s so inexpensive. You know, back in my days, they used Bayer Aspirin for contraceptives. The gals put it between their knees and it wasn’t that costly.”
More Contraceptive Madness (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Rick Santorum and Friess — quite the pair
In their “stop contraceptive care” guerre:
Don’t want kids with your squeeze?
Put a pill ‘tween your knees,
Like Bay’r asp’rin, sez Rick’s billionaire.
Tags: Andrea Mitchell, Bayer Aspirin, Billionaires, Birth Control Limerick, Campaign Humor, Contraception Humor, Election Humor, Feminist Limerick, Foster Friess, Health Care, MSNBC, Religion Humor, Republicans Humor, Rick Santorum, Sexist Humor, Small Government, Super PACs
Posted in Abortion Rights, Birth Control Humor, Campaign Humor, Contraception Humor, Election Satire, Feminism Humor, GOP Humor, Health Satire, Insurance Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Religious Satire, Republicans Humor, Rick Santorum | 3 Comments »
Wednesday, February 15th, 2012
What century is this? The aggressive anti-contraception GOP stance makes me wonder whether I bought the wrong calendar.
Rick Santorum, a man who’s dangerously close to snatching the Republican presidential nomination away from Mitt Romney, apparently wants to preside over an antediluvian America: Here’s Santorum explaining why he wants to fight “the dangers of contraception:”
It’s not okay because it’s a license to do things in the sexual realm that is counter to how things are supposed to be.
And Rick is far from the only bedroom-obsessed Republican. GOP over-reach regarding contraception is approaching epic proportions:
Last week, Freshman Senator Roy Blunt (R-MO) filed legislation to allow any employer, religiously affiliated or not, to refuse to cover any essential or preventive health service, not just contraceptives, based on the “religious belief or moral conviction” of the employer. Word from DC is that Blunt and allies will attempt to add the provision as an amendment to other legislation now moving through the Senate….
The fact that American voters are overwhelmingly pro-birth control is apparently irrelevant to Republican politicians.
Perhaps a limerick might help Republican pols get the message:
Dear Bedroom-Invading Republicans (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Dear Republican pols, please abstain
From ent’ring my bedroom domain.
And also stay out
Of my bathroom. Don’t pout!
If you’re truly “small gov,” you’ll refrain.
Tags: Birth Control Limerick, Campaign Humor, Contraception Humor, Election Humor, Employers, Feminist Limerick, Health Care, Missouri, Mitt Romney, Religion Humor, Republicans Humor, Rick Santorum, Roy Blunt, Sexist Humor, Small Government
Posted in Abortion Rights, Birth Control Humor, Campaign Humor, Congress Humor, Constitution Humor, Contraception Humor, Election Satire, Feminism Humor, GOP Humor, Health Satire, Insurance Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Religious Satire, Republicans Humor, Rick Santorum, Roy Blunt Humor | 3 Comments »
Monday, February 13th, 2012
Before I get to today’s Rick Santorum limerick, here’s a post from my other blog about the Mary Todd Lincoln portrait hoax.
Getting back to Santorum, Rick (not to be outdone by Ron Paul’s newsletter disclaimers) is feigning ignorance over his very own book:
Only days after having to explain a comment about women and emotions in combat, Rick Santorum seemed to struggle a bit on Sunday to explain a remark in his 2005 book “It Takes a Family” that blamed “radical feminists” for undermining families and for trying to persuade women that they could find fulfillment only in the workplace.
Asked on the ABC News program “This Week” about the book’s contentions, Mr. Santorum noted that his wife, Karen, had written that section — though only his name is on the cover and he does not list her in the acknowledgments as among those “who assisted me in the writing of this book.” …
In the interview on Sunday, Mr. Santorum pleaded unfamiliarity with the citation, saying, “I don’t know – that’s a new quote for me”…
Limerick Ode To Rick “What Book?” Santorum
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Dear Rick, when you author a book
You have placed yourself square on the hook
For the contents inside.
You’re a coward to hide
From your screed. Either that, or a schnook.
Tags: ABC News, Campaign Humor, Election Satire, Feminist Limerick, George Stephanopoulos, Karen Santorum, Political Books, Republican Cowards, Rick Santorum, THIS WEEK
Posted in Campaign Humor, Election Satire, Feminism Humor, GOP Humor, Political Books, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, Rick Santorum | 2 Comments »
Wednesday, February 8th, 2012
Pity the poor political journalist (or political satirist), who must conjure up constant commentary about a race that’s effectively over.
So it’s no wonder that the media’s in a tizzy over the Rick Santorum Sweep … even though it yielded Rick zero delegates.
Rick Gives Them Something To Talk About (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
The press was beginning to mope.
But Santorum’s three wins offer hope
That the race isn’t done,
Mitt may NOT be the one.
But does Rick stand a chance? Answer: Nope!
Tags: Campaign Humor, Colorado, Election Satire, Journalism, Media Humor, Minnesota, Missouri, Mitt Romney, Republican Primary, Rick Santorum
Posted in Campaign Humor, Election Satire, GOP Humor, Media Satire, Mitt Romney Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, Rick Santorum | Comments Off on Rick Gives Them Something To Talk About (Limerick)
Thursday, January 26th, 2012
I can’t decide whether naming Santorum’s fund-raising appeal Conservatives United Moneybomb is stupid … or brilliant. Either way, it’s bringing in a scary amount of money.
Rick Santorum’s Acronym Antics (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Choosing acronyms tends to be tricky,
And it’s wise to be cautious and picky.
But Rick’s fundraising C.U.M.
Has raised a huge sum!
Rick Santorum, on Google, still icky!
Tags: Campaign Humor, Conservatives United Moneybomb, CUM, Election Satire, Fund Raising, Rick Santorum
Posted in Campaign Humor, Election Satire, GOP Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, Rick Santorum | Comments Off on Rick Santorum’s Acronym Antics (Limerick)
Friday, January 6th, 2012
Rick Santorum must think we’re stupid. He’s claiming that his racist reference to “black people” and welfare was really a reference to “blah people.”
Limerick Ode To Rick “Blah” Santorum
By Madeleine Begun Kane
If you’re black, Rick Santorum’s a fan.
That’s true, be you woman or man.
But to folks who are “blah”
Rick Santorum says “Nah!”
It’s the “blah” people Ricky will pan.
Tags: Black People, Blah People, Campaign Satire, Election Humor, John King, Racism, Rick Santorum, Welfare
Posted in Campaign Humor, Election Satire, GOP Humor, Political Limericks, Political Speeches, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, Rick Santorum | 5 Comments »
Thursday, January 5th, 2012
In case you were wondering, Rick Santorum still thinks states have the right to outlaw contraception. Why? Because it’s “a license to do things in a sexual realm that is counter to how things are supposed to be.”
Limerick Ode To Sex-Obsessed Santorum
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Contraception’s immoral, says Rick,
Cuz it licenses sex with a chick
To whom you ain’t wed.
So ban it instead!
Vote Santorum: Stop sex that is sick.
Tags: Birth Control Limerick, Campaign Satire, Constitution Verse, Contraception Humor, Election Humor, Rick Santorum, States Rights
Posted in Campaign Humor, Constitution Humor, Contraception Humor, Election Satire, GOP Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, Rick Santorum | Comments Off on Limerick Ode To Sex-Obsessed Santorum
Wednesday, December 7th, 2011
A Trump-moderated Republican debate? Even Karl Rove says it’s a terrible idea.
Damn! Me — agreeing with Karl Rove. That’s seriously scary!
Meanwhile, Mitt Romney did the classy thing, for once, adding his name to the list of candidates who’ve declined the Trump Debate Invite. So far, Ron Paul, Jon Huntsman, and Romney have declined to participate, while Newt Gingrich and Rick Santorum have accepted.
Limerick Ode To The Immoderate Donald Trump
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Debate moderation’s an art,
And practitioners need to be smart,
Diplomatic, well versed—
In the topic immersed.
Donald Trump? Not just bad. Off the chart!
UPDATE: Republican National Committee Chairman Reince Priebus has come out against the Donald Trump debate, citing as his reason Trump’s ongoing flirtation with an independent run for president. Additionally Perry has now declined his debate invitation.
Tags: Campaign Satire, Debate Limerick, Donald Trump, Election Humor, Jon Huntsman, Karl Rove, Mitt Romney, Newt Gingrich, Presidential Debate, Reince Priebus, Republican Debate, Rick Perry, Rick Santorum, RNC, Ron Paul
Posted in Campaign Humor, Debate Humor, Donald Trump, Election Satire, GOP Humor, Jon Huntsman, Karl Rove, Mitt Romney Humor, Newt Gingrich Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, Rick Perry, Rick Santorum, Ron Paul | 3 Comments »
Wednesday, October 12th, 2011
It’s time for some more political clerihews — whimsically biographical four-line poems, described more fully here.
I’ve written one for each of the would-be presidents who appeared at last night’s Republican debate:
Mass. Governor Mitt,
A job cutting hit.
He flips and he flops,
As positions he swaps.
*****
Herman “9-9-9” Cain:
(Romney hopes he’ll wane)
Though many think he rocks,
He belongs on Fox.
*****
James Richard Perry:
Is he bright? Not very.
A lousy debater—
Called Bernanke a traitor.
*****
Unhinged Michele
Is sinking pell-mell.
Even crazier than Palin—
Just what is she inhalin’?
*****
Former Speaker Newt,
A pompous beaut.
Purports to be intellectual,
At selling books effectual.
*****
Rick Santorum
Seems lost in this forum.
He’s none too calm
Over his Google Bomb.
*****
Libertarian Ron Paul
Is having a ball.
Doesn’t stand a chance.
But enjoys the dance.
*****
Jon Huntsman jokes
But can not coax
Any support for his reign.
He’s way too sane.
*****
Tags: Campaign Satire, Clerihews, Election Humor, Herman Cain, Jon Huntsman, Michele Bachmann, Mitt Romney, Newt Gingrich, Presidential Campaign Humor, Republican Debate, Republicans Humor, Rick Perry, Rick Santorum, Ron Paul
Posted in Campaign Humor, Debate Humor, Election Satire, GOP Humor, Herman Cain, Jon Huntsman, Michele Bachmann, Mitt Romney Humor, Newt Gingrich Humor, Non-Political Humor, Political Clerihews, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, Rick Perry, Rick Santorum, Ron Paul, White House | 3 Comments »
Tuesday, June 14th, 2011
Lightweights — No Debate!
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Republicans held a debate
To see which prez contender would rate.
Not a one was impressive,
And all are regressive—
Mad lightweights galore! What a slate!
Tags: Campaign Satire, Election Humor, Herman Cain, Michele Bachmann, Mitt Romney, Newt Gingrich, Republican Debate, Rick Santorum, Ron Paul, Tim Pawlenty
Posted in Campaign Humor, Election Satire, Michele Bachmann, Mitt Romney Humor, Newt Gingrich Humor, Political Limericks, Tim Pawlenty | 2 Comments »