Archive for the ‘Texas Humor’ Category
Monday, March 20th, 2017
Texas Republican Pete Sessions doesn’t seem all that good at handling a crowd of angry constituents. At a rowdy town hall, he responded with this gem:
I know why you’re so frustrated: You don’t know how to listen.
Pete Sessions’ town hall was immersed
In constituent wrath, so he burst:
“You don’t know how to listen!”
(Flop sweat all a-glisten.)
It seems Pete has things slightly reversed.
Tags: Donald Trump, Pete Sessions, Texas Humor, Town Hall Meetings
Posted in Donald Trump, GOP Humor, Pete Sessions, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, Texas Humor, White House | Comments Off on Pete Sessions’ Bad Session (Limerick)
Thursday, December 15th, 2016
I’ve finally figured out what qualifies former Texas governor Rick Perry to be Energy Sec: He’s an energetic dancer.
Anyone who believes Perry is qualified to lead the Department of Energy, probably makes this association: “Texas equals oil equals energy.” What a shame that energy resources like oil and gas are handled by a totally different agency: The Department of Interior.
So what’s the main job of the department Trump wants Perry to lead? Hint: sciencey stuff involving nuclear weapons and waste.
What qualifies Perry to be
Donald’s Energy Sec? Here’s my plea:
Kindly don’t mention oil.
(Oil’s Interior’s toil.)
As for Rick’s gig, nuke know-how is key.
Tags: Department Of Energy, Department of Interior, Donald Trump, Nuclear Limerick, Oil Drilling, Rick Perry, Texas Humor
Posted in Donald Trump, Energy Humor, GOP Humor, Nuclear Weapons, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, Rick Perry, Texas Humor, White House | 1 Comment »
Monday, March 23rd, 2015
Open Limerick To Ted Cruz
By Madeleine Begun Kane
My muse and I thank you, Ted Cruz.
We’re enthused by your news. No more blues!
I’m infused with elation.
You’re bruising our nation,
But your run means we rhymers can’t lose.
Tags: Campaign Satire, Election Humor, GOP Idiocy, Presidential Election, Republicans Humor, Ted Cruz, Texas Humor
Posted in Campaign Humor, Election Satire, GOP Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, Ted Cruz, Texas Humor, White House | 1 Comment »
Monday, June 9th, 2014
Texas Republicans, Repair Thyselves! (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
The “reparative therapy” craze
Is fancied by Texans for gays.
Although Dems know it’s foolish,
Republicans, mulish,
Praise treatment for homo-malaise.
Tags: Bigotry Limerick, Gay Humor, Gay Rights, Homosexual Humor, Reparative Therapy Humor
Posted in GOP Humor, Homophobia, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, Texas Humor | 2 Comments »
Sunday, February 3rd, 2013
Texas Governor Rick Perry, whose reputation hasn’t recovered from his presidential campaign debacle, is trying to bolster his right-wing cred with an attack on gays. Perry, an Eagle Scout, “said emphatically Saturday that the Boy Scouts of America should not soften its strict policy barring gay members, and dismissed the idea of bending the organization to the whims of ‘popular culture.’”
Eagle Scout Perry’s Bald Wingnut Pander (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A new policy may be conferred
By the Boy Scouts. At least, that’s the word.
But Eagle Scout Rick
Thinks this change would be sick:
He’d keep flipping gay Boy Scouts the bird.
Tags: Anti-Gay Politicians, Boy Scouts, Eagle Scouts, Gay Rights, Political Verse, Republicans Humor, Rick Perry, Texas Humor
Posted in Campaign Humor, Gay Rights, GOP Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, Rick Perry, Texas Humor | Comments Off on Eagle Scout Perry’s Bald Wingnut Pander (Limerick)
Wednesday, November 14th, 2012
Shush! Please don’t tell all those Red State would-be secessionists what a great deal they have right now. And how much better off financially we Blue Staters would be, if the sore loser Red Staters successfully seceded.
… a large number of patriotic Americans, mostly from states won by Mitt Romney last week, have petitioned the White House to let them secede. They should be careful about what they wish for. It would be excellent financial news for those of us left behind if Obama were to grant a number of the rebel states their wish “to withdraw from the United States and create [their] own NEW government” (the petitions emphasize “new” by capitalizing it).
Red states receive, on average, far more from the federal government in expenditures than they pay in taxes. The balance is the opposite in blue states. The secession petitions, therefore, give the opportunity to create what would be, in a fiscal sense, a far more perfect union.
Dear Red State Would-Be Secessionists: Buh-Bye! (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Greedy Red States who want to secede
Are “takers” and foolish indeed.
From the Fed they get more
Than they send — they’ll be poor
If they leave, and the Blues will be freed.
Tags: Barack Obama, Blue States, Federal Government, Financial Verse, Fiscal Humor, Presidential Election, Red States, Secession, Secession Petition, Tax Policy, White House
Posted in Barack Obama, Economy Humor, Election Satire, Fiscal Policy, GOP Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, Tax & Budget Humor, Texas Humor, White House | 4 Comments »
Monday, May 21st, 2012
Note to Sarah Palin and Ted (Tea Party Express, Texas) Cruz, a would-be Republican nominee for U.S. Senate: Just because Texas and Kansas both end in “as” doesn’t make them the same state:
Sarah Palin called with a tip that Cruz was the man for the GOP.
Thank goodness the Cruz campaign directed a robocall to my office of the Topeka Capital-Journal.
Getting meaningful political advice from Palin was a treat.
“Hello, Texas!” she blasted into my ear. “I’m Sarah Palin.”
State of Embarrassment (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Dear Sarah, when trying to aid
Mr. Cruz, all your robocalls played
On phones through the state
Of Kansas ain’t great,
When it’s Texans you aim to persuade.
Tags: Campaign Humor, Election Satire, Kansas, Republicans Humor, Robocall Humor, Sarah Palin, Tea Party, Tea Party Express, Ted Cruz, Texas, Topeka Capital-Journal
Posted in Campaign Humor, Election Satire, GOP Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, Sarah Palin, Tea Parties, Texas Humor | 2 Comments »
Wednesday, October 26th, 2011
Poor Rick Perry is having a rough time. First, he’s forced to walk back his pro-Birther “I don’t have a clue about … what his birth certificate says” comments. Next, he’s reduced to silence on Fox Business when told he sounds “like one of those Occupy Wall Streeters.”
Limerick Ode To Clueless Rick Perry
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Perry’s not-a-clue line caused ado.
Anti-Birthers are starting to stew.
But in Perry’s behalf,
It’s not really a gaffe
Cuz it’s true: Perry hasn’t a clue.
Tags: Barack Obama, Birthers, Campaign Satire, Economy, Election Humor, Fox Business, Obama's Birth Certificate, Occupy Wall Street, OWS, Rick Perry
Posted in Barack Obama, Birther Humor, Campaign Humor, Election Satire, Fox News Humor, GOP Humor, Media Satire, Occupy Wall Street, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, Rick Perry, Texas Humor, White House, Wingnuts | 7 Comments »
Wednesday, August 31st, 2011
Certain media people are doing Rick Perry a huge favor by lowering the bar with tales of Perry being a lousy debater.
Limerick Ode to Rick “Bad Debater” Perry
By Madeleine Begun Kane
When press people lower the bar,
They enable a pol to go far.
Exceed expectations,
Then get more ovations,
And become a political star.
Tags: Campaign Satire, Debate Limerick, Election Humor, Media Humor, Presidential Campaign Humor, Republicans Humor, Rick Perry
Posted in Campaign Humor, Debate Humor, Election Satire, Media Satire, Political Limericks, Rick Perry, Texas Humor | 2 Comments »
Tuesday, August 23rd, 2011
When a candidate tries to distance himself from, say, his doctoral thesis, or a book written a dozen years ago, this passes the straight-face test.
But when Rick Perry tries this with Fed Up! (a book published last fall) it’s hard not to laugh out loud.
Perry’s problem, of course, is that his book is packed with extreme positions, too radical even for his own Republican party. So Perry’s campaign would have us believe that Perry’s Social Security is unconstitutional position from last year is no longer operative. The same goes for his call to repeal the 16th amendment and replace income taxes with a national sales tax.
Limerick Ode To Rick “Fed Up With My Book!” Perry
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Dear Perry, that book you’d disclaim
Was written by you — you’re to blame.
And it’s new — ink’s not dry.
Yet you’re wondering why
We’re on to your radical game.
Tags: 16th Amendment, Campaign Satire, Election Humor, Fed Up, Income Tax, National Sales Tax, Political Books, Rick Perry, Social Security, Texas, U.S. Constitution
Posted in Books, Campaign Humor, Election Satire, Fiscal Policy, Money & Finance Humor, Political Books, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Rick Perry, Texas Humor, White House, Wingnuts | 7 Comments »
Wednesday, August 17th, 2011
Texas Gov. Rick Perry has sure had a busy few days. Not only has he thrown himself into the Republican presidential contest, but he’s threatened Federal Reserve Chairman Ben Bernanke with violence and accused him of treason. And let’s not forget this beaut: Perry implied that President Obama isn’t “in love” with America. That’s pretty nervy, coming from a fellow who’s touted Texas secession.
Limerick Ode To Rick Perry
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Dear Perry, to threaten the Fed
With vi’lence ain’t good for your cred.
And throwing around
The word treason ain’t sound
For secession proponents. ‘Nuff said.
Tags: Barack Obama, Ben Bernanke, Campaign Satire, Election Humor, Federal Reserve, Politics Satire, Presidential Election, Rick Perry, Secession, Traitors, Treason
Posted in Barack Obama, Ben Bernanke, Campaign Humor, Election Satire, Hypocrisy Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Rick Perry, Texas Humor, White House | 6 Comments »
Wednesday, August 3rd, 2011
I’m constantly running into Tenth Amendment states’ rights hypocrisy, most often concerning abortion rights and same sex marriage. Texas Governor Rick Perry is but the latest example: He’s now calling for a constitutional amendment banning same-sex marriage and abortion.
Limerick Ode To 10th Amendment Hypocrisy
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Gov. Perry’s a fan of states’ rights:
10th amendment — he loves its delights.
But gay marriage? Abortion?
Please brace for contortion:
He’d smite them through federal fights.
Tags: Abortion Rights, Constitution Verse, Gay Marriage, Presidential Campaign Humor, Rick Perry, Same Sex Marriage, States Rights, Texas Humor, U.S. Constitution
Posted in Abortion Rights, Constitution Humor, Election Satire, Gay Rights, Hypocrisy Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, Rick Perry, Texas Humor, Wingnuts | 3 Comments »
Monday, April 18th, 2011
Just what we need — another Ron Paul son in the Senate:
Liberate Me From The Paul Clan
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Yet another ambitious Paul son?
How I’d hoped there was only the one.
First Ron and then Rand
And now Rob? What a band!
Please tell me we’re finally done.
Tags: Campaign Satire, Election Humor, Libertarians, Rand Paul, Robert Paul, Ron Paul, Texas Humor
Posted in Campaign Humor, Election Satire, Political Limericks, Senate Satire, Texas Humor | 7 Comments »
Monday, January 10th, 2011
In the wake of the Arizona shootings, there isn’t much news to celebrate in rhyme. But I finally came up with something: Former House Majority Leader Tom DeLay (R-Texas) was sentenced to three years in prison for “conspiring to launder corporate money into political donations during the 2002 elections.”
That brings me to my latest limerick:
Want Tom In Prison — No Delay!
By Madeleine Begun Kane
There’s a glimmer of good news today:
It’s prison for Thomas DeLay.
His sentence? Three years.
So let’s hear it: Three cheers!
Please no stay! Want DeLay put away.
Tags: Campaign Satire, Crime, Election Humor, Law Satire, Legal Verse, Money Laundering, Prisons, Tom DeLay
Posted in Campaign Humor, Congress Humor, Corruption Humor, Crime, Election Satire, GOP Humor, Law Satire, Legal Limericks, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, Texas Humor | 7 Comments »
Tuesday, May 12th, 2009
It sounds like Texas Congressman Pete Sessions could use some … uh … sessions on somebody’s couch.
… Representative Pete Sessions of Texas, may indeed face an uphill fight with his argument that Mr. Obama is not trying to create jobs. In an interview, Mr. Sessions cited rising unemployment in asserting that the administration intended to “diminish employment and diminish stock prices” as part of a “divide and conquer” strategy to consolidate power.
Ode To The Wingnutty Pete Sessions
By Madeleine Begun Kane
The Texas Republican Sessions
Likes to conjure up lib’ral transgressions:
Claims Barack to build power
Made stocks and jobs sour.
Pete needs help from the head-shrink professions.
Tags: Employment, Obama, Pete Sessions, Republicans Humor, Stocks, Texas
Posted in Barack Obama, Economy Humor, Pete Sessions, Political Limericks, Republicans Humor, Texas Humor, Wingnuts | 5 Comments »
Sunday, April 26th, 2009
For such a fan of secession, Texas Gov. Rick Perry sure is quick to ask for federal bucks. Hurricane disaster assistance? Check. Antiviral medications to combat swine flu? Check.
Now I live just two miles from the Fresh Meadows, Queens, New York swine flu outbreak at St. Francis Prep School. And I’m all for sending swine flu meds to needy areas like Texas. I just wish Texas didn’t have such a hypocrite for a governor.
And that brings me to my latest limerick:
Secession? Did I Say Secession?
By Madeleine Begun Kane
My Texas is quite independent,
Said Rick Perry — secession-defendant.
Then he called for the feds
To send anti-flu meds.
With hypocrisy Perry’s resplendent.
Tags: Antiviral Medications, Disaster Assistance, Flu Vaccine, Fresh Meadows, Health, Hurricane, Hypocrisy, New York, Queens, Rick Perry, Secession, St. Francis Prep, Swine Flu, Texas
Posted in Health Satire, New York Politics, Political Limericks, Rick Perry, Texas Humor | 11 Comments »
Sunday, April 19th, 2009
My latest double limerick, written in an antibiotic haze and inspired by Texas Gov. Rick Perry’s secession talk brouhaha:
Yet Another Ode To Republican Hypocrisy
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Under Bush left-dissent equaled treason.
So Republicans claimed without reason.
Now Obama is prez
(A commie Chavez)
And secession is righteous — not teasin’.
Yes Gov. Perry and co. say it’s fine —
This unconstitutional whine:
Secede cuz Barack
Is a Europy Jacques.
Then they pray to Ron Reagan. Divine!
Tags: Constitution, Dissent, Obama, Reagan Satire, Republicans Humor, Rick Perry, Secession, Texas Humor, Treason
Posted in Barack Obama, Constitution Humor, GOP Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, Rick Perry, Ronald Reagan, Texas Humor, Wingnuts | 8 Comments »
Saturday, April 11th, 2009
I’m a bit late on the “Asians should change their names” story. But I do have the “on vacation” and “under the weather” excuse.
Texas state representative Betty Brown (R-Terrell, in North Texas) caused a ruckus on Tuesday by saying, during testimony about voter ID legislation, that Asians would have an easier time of getting along if they simply changed their names.
“Rather than everyone here having to learn Chinese — I understand it’s a rather difficult language — do you think that it would behoove you and your citizens to adopt a name that we could deal with more readily here?”
If anyone deserves a double limerick, it’s Rep. Betty Brown:
Seeing Red Over Rep. Betty Brown
By Madeleine Begun Kane
If your name hails from Asia, it’s hard.
So don’t bitch if your ballot is barred.
Said Rep. Brown, “Change your name,”
Cuz your name is to blame
For confusing us. What a canard!
Please take heed if your name’s Cho or Wu,
And here’s what I think you should do:
Simply pity Rep. Brown.
She’s a prejudiced clown.
La femme est chauvine et sans clue.
Tags: Asians, Betty Brown, Chinese, Immigrants, Immigration Humor, Name Changes, Texas, Voter ID
Posted in Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Texas Humor, Voting Satire | 6 Comments »
