Archive for the ‘Excuses Satire’ Category

Limerick Ode To “Normal” Newt Gingrich

Wednesday, January 25th, 2012

According to Newt Gingrich, his serial wife-cheating makes him “normal,” better able to relate to the problems of average people, and more electable. You’ve got to give that fellow Brownie-points for creativity. Who else could turn multiple affairs into a plus?

In an interview with the Christian Broadcasting Network this afternoon, Newt Gingrich picked up Rick Perry’s torch in the so-called “war on religion,” promising that he would fight back against judges who are “trying to drive God out of life.” The thrice-married Speaker then defended his personal marital history, claiming his multiple affairs “make me more normal than somebody who wanders around seeming perfect” because he can understand “the human condition and challenges of life for normal people.”

Limerick Ode To “Normal” Newt Gingrich
By Madeleine Begun Kane

My affairs make me “normal,” says Newt.
As defenses go, Newt’s is a beaut:
Seems perfection is bad,
And unless you’re a cad,
Your empathy skills are minute.

Newt’s Fishy Excuses

Thursday, March 10th, 2011

Have you ever answered a “what’s your worst fault” question from a prospective employer by mentioning a positive trait?

Newt Gingrich is apparently familiar with that technique. What else can explain the excuses he gave for having been unfaithful to two sick wives? It seems his infidelity was “partially driven by how passionately [he] felt about this country” and the fact that he “worked far too hard.”

So, you ready to hire him for the next White House opening? What about dog catcher?

Newt’s Fishy Excuses
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Mr. Newt has an oddball excuse
For something that’s close to abuse:
Abandoning wives
Who were ill just derives
From his working too hard? How obtuse!

(More Newt Gingrich humor here.)

Dear Obama, Enough With The Voltaire!

Thursday, February 18th, 2010

I don’t know about you, but I’m getting really tired of this line frequently used by Obama and other pols: “America can’t afford to let the perfect be the enemy of the good.”

Obama usually uses this Voltaire paraphrase as an excuse to disappoint progressives yet again.

The original Voltaire quote is “The perfect is the enemy of the good,” translated from the French, “Le mieux est l’ennemi du bien.” (The literal translation actually should be, “The best is the enemy of the good.”)

This brings me to my latest double limerick:

Dear Obama, Enough With The Voltaire!
By Madeleine Begun Kane

There once was a guy named Voltaire,
A Frenchman whose wisdom pols share.
They say, “Perfect, though fine,
Is hardly divine
When it blocks the essential. So there!”

Dear Obama, this line is just guff —
An excuse for not doing enough.
So instead of excuses,
Fight right-wing abuses.
Voltaire is annoying. Hang tough!