Posts Tagged ‘Speaker’

Limerick Ode To “Normal” Newt Gingrich

Wednesday, January 25th, 2012

According to Newt Gingrich, his serial wife-cheating makes him “normal,” better able to relate to the problems of average people, and more electable. You’ve got to give that fellow Brownie-points for creativity. Who else could turn multiple affairs into a plus?

In an interview with the Christian Broadcasting Network this afternoon, Newt Gingrich picked up Rick Perry’s torch in the so-called “war on religion,” promising that he would fight back against judges who are “trying to drive God out of life.” The thrice-married Speaker then defended his personal marital history, claiming his multiple affairs “make me more normal than somebody who wanders around seeming perfect” because he can understand “the human condition and challenges of life for normal people.”

Limerick Ode To “Normal” Newt Gingrich
By Madeleine Begun Kane

My affairs make me “normal,” says Newt.
As defenses go, Newt’s is a beaut:
Seems perfection is bad,
And unless you’re a cad,
Your empathy skills are minute.

John Boehner — Exceptionally Wrong

Thursday, January 27th, 2011

Speaker of the House John Boehner apparently can sleep with his eyes open. How else do we explain his odd (and objectively wrong) criticism of Obama’s State of the Union Speech?

If there’s one thing President Obama did go on about a bit about in the State of the Union, it was American exceptionalism — as the National Journal’s Ron Fournier noted at some length.

Two who didn’t entirely notice were Speaker John Boehner and Kathleen Parker. From Parker-Spitzer:

BOEHNER: Well, they — they’ve refused to talk about America exceptionalism. …

It should also be noted that Obama called Boehner Speaker of “The Greatest Nation on Earth.”

Boehner’s nonsensical complaint inspired my latest limerick:

John Boehner — Exceptionally Wrong
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Exceptionalism was missing
From the SOTU says Boehner, dismissing
Obama’s big speech
Which he tries to impeach.
Not list’ning enables the dissing.

Hark! The Disgraced Former Speaker Speaks.

Wednesday, May 27th, 2009

It’s simple enough to avoid Judge Sonia Sotomayor smear-tweets like these:

White man racist nominee would be forced to withdraw. Latina woman racist should also withdraw.

Imagine a judicial nominee said “my experience as a white man makes me better than a latina woman” new racism is no better than old racism.

Just be sure not to follow Newt Gingrich’s Twitter feed.

If only it were as easy to dodge Newt on TV, in print, and on the Net.

And that brings me to my latest song parody, which you can sing to Hark! The Herald Angels Sing:

Hark! The Disgraced Former Speaker Speaks.
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Hark! The former Speaker speaks.
Headlines, Speaker Gingrich seeks.
News cos eagerly come through.
They don’t care his claims ain’t true.

Gleefully he airs his lies,
Spreading venom, media buys.
Watch the ousted Newt proclaim,
Sonia is just a racist dame.

Darkly, Gingrich spews his views.
Can’t avoid him on the news.