Archive for the ‘Health Satire’ Category

Trump Exercises His Right Not To Exercise (Limerick)

Tuesday, May 9th, 2017

A headline like this one demands a limerick: “Donald Trump thinks exercise will kill you.”

Will exercise kill you? The guy
In the Oval believes it. That’s why
Donald looks like he looks.
(I’d been blaming his cooks.)
This explains why to VEEP Pence said “AYE!”

A Dose Of Reality To Douse Trump’s Spirits (Limerick)

Saturday, May 6th, 2017

Dear Donald, your pleasure and awe
Over Trumpcare are marred by a flaw
Eas’ly found with a mouse:
It takes more than one house
To convert your bill into a law.

Donald Disses Turnbull Again (2-Verse Limerick)

Thursday, May 4th, 2017

It seems Donald isn’t done dissing Australian Prime Minister Malcolm Turnbull. Not only did he shorten (and push back by several hours) today’s meeting (which was meant to help repair their relationship.) But he did it for the most callow of reasons: An AHCA House passage victory dance.

Donald’s meeting with Trumball today
Was intended to make things okay
’Tween Australia and Trump,
Yet he opted to bump
Their confab for a callow display.

What took precedence over their meeting,
Postponing and short’ning their greeting?
A public hooray
That the AHCA
Passed the House … and some swagg’rin’ chest beating.

Only Bad People Get Sick? (Limerick)

Wednesday, May 3rd, 2017

According to Rep. Mo Brooks (R-AL), sick people don’t deserve affordable healthcare.

If you’re healthy, this means that you’re good.
Only bad folks get sick. Understood?
That’s the gospel of Mo;
Rep. Mo Brooks — what a schmo!
“Christian love” from the GOP hood.

Paul Ryan’s Power Shortage (Limerick)

Wednesday, April 12th, 2017

Ryan’s power and clout are in doubt;
Reign adrift from its rout in the bout
Over health care reform,
The repeal/replace storm
Leaving Paul with a leverage drought.

Blame-Game Brawl (Limerick)

Sunday, March 26th, 2017

TrumpCare’s dead, and the Donald is grim,
So he’s thrashing and bashing at whim.
Who’s at fault — Dems or Paul?
Freedom Caucus? We all
Know he’ll NEVER admit that it’s HIM!

“Repeal & Replace,” A 4-Verse Limerick Saga

Friday, March 24th, 2017

Our government once was divided,
A condition Republicans chided.
They would gripe and they’d grouse:
“Ruling Senate and House
Ain’t enough. Give us power three-sided.”

Then it happened — their guy beat our dame!
Now with White House control they’re aflame
To alter our laws
By inserting new flaws
Right away — helping rich folks, their aim.

They began with “repeal and replace,”
An action they vowed they would ace;
First they’d get full control,
Then they’d easily roll
All the Dems — this they promised their base.

But the bill that was key to their game
Has been pulled to the GOP’s shame.
Who’s at fault? No, not Trump,
Nor Paul Ryan. The Grump
Claims the powerless Dems are to blame.

A Happy Retiree? (Limerick)

Friday, March 24th, 2017

John Boehner pretty much predicted today’s events in this article: “Now In Happy Retirement, John Boehner Admits Republicans Will Never Agree on Obamacare Repeal.”

I’m wond’ring if Boehner feels glee
At the TrumpCare affair, cuz no plea
Saved that bill from the brink.
Surely Boehner must think:
“Better Donald and Ryan than me!”

Trump’s Frustration (Limerick)

Thursday, March 23rd, 2017

On healthcare, Trump gives up the store.
But the wingnuts say “No!” They want more!
Donald throws up his hands
At their endless demands;
It’s golf-time. This feels like a chore.

Republican Cruelty (Limerick)

Thursday, March 23rd, 2017

You think healthcare expenses are rough?
Wait till RyanCare’s passed. It’s so tough
On folks who ain’t rich,
You’ll say, “Life is a bitch!”
Yet some holdouts claim: “NOT mean enough!”

Deal-Making Donald? (Limerick)

Thursday, March 23rd, 2017

Poor Donald has sacrificed valuable golfing time for his Obamacare-repeal ̶i̶n̶t̶i̶m̶i̶d̶a̶t̶i̶o̶n̶ ̶t̶h̶r̶e̶a̶t̶s̶ negotiation. But Trump’s failed so far, and the vote’s been postponed.

Dear Donald, you say you’re a closer
And a deal-making, ground-breaking dozer.
But your arm-twisting tries
And Obamacare lies
Haven’t worked. Are you naught but a poser?

Did Trump Leak His Own Return? (Limerick)

Thursday, March 16th, 2017

Trump’s been bitching about the publication of an old 1040 — a partial tax return that actually makes him look like a successful businessman and that does him no real harm. Moreover, he’s called it “fake news,” even though its validity was confirmed by Trump’s own office. So here’s my theory via limerick:

Dear Donald, the news makes you burn,
And your wiretap fib’s in an urn.
Ryan’s plan is a bust,
And distraction’s a must,
So I’m betting YOU leaked your return.

Marketing A Unicorn (Limerick)

Sunday, January 15th, 2017

There’s an ad with a rather odd twist;
A GOP health ad, whose gist
Is the plan that replaces
Obamacare’s aces…
What a shame such plan DOESN’T exist.

The American Action Network, a conservative advocacy group linked to House GOP leadership, is running an ad claiming that an unidentified Republican “plan will create a health insurance system that has ‘more choices,’ ‘better care,’ and ‘lower costs’ than the ACA.”

You can watch the BS ad here.

Never Judge A Bloke By His Mild-Mannered Cover! (Limerick)

Thursday, October 6th, 2016

Mike Pence is even worse on women’s health issues than I thought: As a Congressman, it was Pence who introduced the first bill to block Planned Parenthood funding. He even fathered the Republican habit of blocking essential bills and threatening government shutdowns over defunding Planned Parenthood. So it’s time for a limerick:

Trump’s a sexist, we rail and we fret,
But here’s something we’d best not forget:
Pence invented the scheme
V. Planned Parenthood. Scream
To the rafters: “Mike Pence is a threat!”

Limerick Ode to Science Disbelievers plus Sundry Haiku

Tuesday, February 3rd, 2015

Limerick Ode To Science Disbelievers
By Madeleine Begun Kane

The Republican problem with science
Is their members respond with defiance
To facts that are proved.
(Have their brains been removed?)
They spread lies to excuse non-compliance.

*****

Refusing vaccines,
Don’t-Tell-Me-What-To-Doers
now infect us all.

*****

Exodus of thought–
an exodus of science–
the GOP way.

*****

Misinformation
delib’rately spread by Fox–
blindly accepted.

*****

Republican pols–
implacable enemy
of fairness and facts.

******

The truth-challenged pols
have taken over Congress–
therein LIES the rub.

*****

What To Do About Ebola? Don’t Ask Our Surgeon General (Limerick)

Friday, October 3rd, 2014

I’m looking forward to leadership from our Surgeon General, especially now that the Ebola outbreak has reached our nation.

Oh wait … we don’t have one. Why not? Because Vivek Murthy, Obama’s excellent nominee, has the audacity to view guns as a health issue.

What To Do About Ebola? Don’t Ask Our Surgeon General (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Though an expert on health would be nice
At this time of Ebola, no dice!
NRA’s GOP
Blocked a great nominee,
And our nation is paying the price.

John Boehner’s Open Limerick To Obama

Friday, August 1st, 2014

John Boehner’s Open Limerick To Obama
By Madeleine Begun Kane

How dare you slow implementation
Of a law that is bad for our nation!
You’re impeding our rush
For a law that we’d flush.
Now show leadership! Fix immigration!

Limerick Flashback

Wednesday, March 26th, 2014

Limerick Flashback
By Madeleine Begun Kane

The date to apply by is near.
Health care bennies soon lost, many fear.
So the Prez moves the date,
Which makes no one irate;
It was Bush, and ’06 was the year.

A Heavenly Quote (Limerick)

Friday, March 21st, 2014

While discussing Obamacare and the Healthcare.gov roll-out, Biden said Obama deserves sainthood. Now this strikes me as a trifle excessive. On the other hand, Joe Biden is a humorist’s godsend.

A Heavenly Quote (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Dear Veep Biden, your lack of restraint
Is often amusing and quaint.
But you’ve gone overboard
(Don’t you think — Oh my lord!)
In calling Obama a saint.

Our Unhealthy Nomination Process (Limerick)

Thursday, March 20th, 2014

Obama’s highly qualified Surgeon General nominee, Vivek Murthy, is in limbo. Why? Because Murthy supports an assault weapons ban and believes guns are a health care issue.

Our Unhealthy Nomination Process (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

The move against Murthy ain’t stealth
Cuz gun fans are using their wealth.
Seems his Surgeon Gen. quest
Failed the NRA test:
He thinks guns can be bad for your health.