Archive for the ‘Terrorism’ Category

Media Gets A Well-Deserved Hand Slap from FBI (Limerick)

Wednesday, April 17th, 2013

It’s pathetic how many respected news outlets published false reports today of an arrest in the Boston Marathon bombings.

Inaccurate Arrest Reports Need To Be Arrested (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Dear news outlets, use some restraint:
Stop reporting arrests, when there ain’t.
Publish news, and NOT litter.
You’re far worse than Twitter,
And your need to be first leaves a taint.

King-Sized Exploitation (Limerick)

Wednesday, April 17th, 2013

Rep. Steve King (R–Iowa) is a perfect example of how NOT to react to the Boston bombings. According to the fence and deportation-loving Steve King, the mere possibility that the bomber(s) might be foreign means that immigration reform should be delayed and that reform could endanger the public.

King-Sized Exploitation (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Give Steve King a terrific ovation
For his masterful bomb exploitation:
In the absence of facts,
He conflates the attacks
With immigration reform in our nation.

He’s been anti-reform all along.
Now he sings a delay-reform song,
Cuz the bomber, he claims,
Might be foreign. He aims
To spread terror himself — that’s so wrong.

TSA Rules Still Don’t Gel (Limerick)

Saturday, December 24th, 2011

This TSA incident surely takes the cake:

A woman says an airport security officer in Las Vegas confiscated her frosted cupcake because he thought the icing on it could be explosive.

It seems the TSA agent told her the cupcake’s “frosting was ‘gel-like’ enough to constitute a security risk.”

TSA Rules Still Don’t Gel (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

The TSA rules must be eased
Cuz a cupcake in Vegas was seized.
And when icing on cakes
Is deemed fishy, it makes
All the TSA guys look diseased.

Who’s Our President, Again?

Tuesday, May 3rd, 2011

A good way to gauge a Republican pol’s classiness quotient is his or her response to Osama bin Laden’s killing:

Do they congratulate everyone who deserves credit, including President Obama?

Do they act as if Barack Obama was merely carrying out Bush’s bidding?

Do they pretend Obama doesn’t even exist?

Needless to say, Sarah Palin has failed the classiness test.

Who’s Our President, Again?
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Some Republican comments show class
And give credit where due without sass:
Mitt Romney and Dub
And Pawlenty don’t snub
Prez Obama. But Palin’s an ass.

Limerick Ode To Bin Laden’s Death

Monday, May 2nd, 2011

Limerick Ode To Bin Laden’s Death
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Republicans had a great plan:
Make Barack seem an alien man.
So bin Laden’s demise
(A stunning surprise)
Turns their plot to a flash in the pan.

An Open Limerick To Airline Passengers

Tuesday, November 23rd, 2010

My open limerick to the traveling public was inspired by this article about gynecological pat-downs and this letter from physicist Rep. Rush Holt, which questions the safety of full body scan technology:

An Open Limerick To Airline Passengers
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Airline riders, it’s time to speak out.
The TSA rules we must flout.
Radiation or mauling —
They both are appalling.
To submit gives the terrorists clout.

(You can find my Pat-Down Put-Down limerick here.)

Pat-Down Put-Down

Tuesday, November 16th, 2010

Sorry I’ve been so quiet lately. But I have a great excuse: Mark and I went on the first annual Lewis Black Comedy Cruise. You can read all about our fun comedy cruise adventures here.

But now it’s time to get back to the work of political mockery. Fortunately, I’ve returned from my travels just in time to make fun of the TSA’s delightful new privacy-invading screening procedures. And I’m still trying to figure out which I prefer as my ticket to plane boarding: a “nude body scan or genital groping.”

That brings me to my latest limerick:

Pat-Down Put-Down
By Madeleine Begun Kane

You’re a teen and can’t get to first base?
You’re a fondler, but fearful of Mace?
Well a pat-down career
Can be yours. (Front and rear.)
Be a TSA Feel-Her-Up Ace.

John McCain — Ignoramus, Liar, Or Terrorist Sympathizer?

Wednesday, May 5th, 2010

My husband Mark and I live in New York City and frequently dine and see plays in the Times Square area. In fact, had the two of us not been so exhausted from our Las Vegas vacation, that’s where we probably would have been Saturday night. Perhaps that’s why I’m especially offended by John McCain’s apparent desire to undermine the prosecution of alleged terrorists.

What am I talking about? McCain said it would be a “serious mistake” if car bombing suspect Faisal Shahzad, a naturalized American citizen, was Mirandized.

I’m sorry, but the only way Mirandizing Shahzad would be a mistake is if your goal is to taint the evidence, get it thrown out of court, and lose the damn case.

And that brings me to my latest two-verse limerick:

John McCain — Ignoramus, Liar, Or Terrorist Sympathizer?
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Shahzad was Mirandized. Oh my!
Cue McCain and his pandering lie.
To warn him was wrong—
That’s McCain’s specious song.
He malpractices law on the fly.

For Miranda’s a citizen’s right.
Fail to warn him? You’re in for a fight.
Cuz evidence gotten
That way is deemed rotten.
Acquittal is what you invite.

Liz Cheney: Chip Off The Old Crock

Saturday, March 6th, 2010

A right-winger has to go pretty far to be criticized by both the left and the right. But Liz Cheney and her Keep America Safe organization have managed to do it with their McCarthy-like attacks on U.S. Justice Department lawyers, smearing and demonizing them as terrorist sympathizers for their previous legal work defending Gitmo detainees.

This brings me to my latest two-verse limerick:

Liz Cheney: Chip Off The Old Crock
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Has Cheney gone stark raving mad?
I’m speaking of Liz — not her dad.
Now even some peers
Are attacking her smears
As McCarthy-like. Talk about sad!

When her natural allies cry foul,
She’s applying her lies with a trowel.
If she fails to give in
And fess up to her sin,
She’ll end up with a Dick Cheney scowl.

Related Posts: Liz Cheney’s Song and Ode To The Deceitful Cheneys

Al-Qaeda Talking Points?

Tuesday, January 12th, 2010

Are prominent right-wingers acting as unpaid PR agents for al Qaeda, in their zeal to undermine Obama?

In a word — yes! After all, the purpose of terrorism is to scare people into overreaction. So when GOP attack dogs like Dick Cheney, Liz Cheney, Michael Steele, Bill Kristol, Pete King, Pete Hoekstra, Jim DeMint and countless others characterize a failed terrorist attack as a success and try to terrify the public, they are unwittingly helping al Qaeda.

That leads me to my latest limerick:

Al-Qaeda Talking Points?
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Dear Michael and Peter and Dick,
Your Obama vendetta is sick.
Cuz behavior like yours —
Turning flops into scores —
Creates fear, which makes terrorists tick.

Rudy “Noun and a Verb and a 9-11″ Giuliani Loses His Mind

Saturday, January 9th, 2010

It was silly enough when Bush-defender Dana Perino, while appearing on Sean Hannity’s TV show, claimed there were no domestic terror attacks under George W. Bush. Then there was Mary Matalin’s more subtle lie: Bush “inherited the most tragic attack on our own soil in our nation’s history.”

But the third time clearly makes it a Republican talking point. On Good Morning America, Rudy Giuliani spouted this falsehood to George Stephanopoulos: “We had no domestic attacks under Bush. We’ve had one under Obama.”

And that brings me to my latest limerick:

Rudy “Noun and a Verb and a 9-11″ Giuliani Loses His Mind
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Republicans looking to ream
Prez Obama have launched an odd meme.
The Bush-Cheney reign
Suffered no terror pain.
It seems Nine-One-One’s only a dream.

Shameless Republicans On Christmas Attack

Wednesday, December 30th, 2009

Republicans have been treating Nigerian Abdulmutallab’s failed Christmas Day bombing of Flight 253 like a Christmas gift from Al Qaeda — something really juicy to exploit.

In fact, the Republicans’ partisan response to this attempted terrorism has been so shameless, even Politico noticed.

Republicans like Pete Hoekstra, James DeMint, Dan Burton, and many others have earned themselves a triple limerick by playing politics with national security:

Shameless Republicans On Christmas Attack
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Exploiting a terror attempt
Is surely beneath all contempt.
But that never would stop
Such a GOP op:
“Bash Obama! He failed to preempt.”

There is plenty of blame they should share
For that terrorist scare in the air.
We’ve no TSA head:
DeMint “held” him instead
Of a vote. It’s Republican guerre.

As for funding our air travel screening,
They vote no. Seems they’re pro-terror leaning.
Though their record is poor,
They keep spouting full-bore.
Please Republicans, spare us your preening.

NOTE: Here’s some unrelated, but timely, New Years Resolutions humor: It Is Hereby Resolved.

Hannity Insanity

Thursday, June 11th, 2009

Few people are better at creating a Krauthammer-lauded “alternate reality” than Fox’s Sean Hannity. Columnist Dick Polman provides an excellent example:

On his Fox show one week ago, Sean Hannity told his credulous fans that President Obama had made a deliberate effort during his Cairo speech “to give 9/11 sympathizers a voice on the world stage.” … Hannity even backed up his reporting by airing a video clip from the speech, with Obama saying: “I am aware that there are still some that would question or even justify the events of 9/11.”

… Hannity’s video clip of Obama was truncated after that single quoted sentence, omitting everything that followed. Here’s what Obama said next, none of which was aired for the Fox viewers:

“But let us be clear. Al Qaeda killed nearly 3000 people on that day. The victims were innocent men, women and children from America and many other nations who had done nothing to harm anybody. And yet al Qaeda chose to ruthlessly murder these people … These are not opinions to be debated; these are facts to be dealt with.” …

For that outrageous deception alone, Sean Hannity deserves a limerick:

Hannity Insanity
By Madeleine Begun Kane

There once was a fellow named Hannity
Who strutted and showed off his vanity.
From his Fox chair he lied,
Took his fans for a ride,
And showed utter disdain for humanity.

Bush Stays His Lying Course

Monday, October 23rd, 2006

Watching Dubya lie isn’t exactly a novelty.  But claiming he never said “stay the course” is pretty damn brazen, even for Bush. And that brings me to my latest limerick:

Bush Stays His Lying Course
By Madeleine Begun Kane 

Of Iraq Dubya said, “stay the course.”
He repeated it till he was hoarse.
Yet he lies and avers:
I never used those words.
From the facts and the truth Dub’s divorced.

For more on this topic, check out Last Days Of President Bush, Just One Minute, Balloon Juice, Donklephant, Media Matters, The Washington Post and, on a lighter note, Don Davis.
[tags]Stay The Course, Bush Lies, Iraq Humor[/tags]

GOP Terror Ad Haiku

Friday, October 20th, 2006

What Atrios said, but in a pair of haiku:

Bin Laden is back,
Touted in GOP ads.
They’re proud of failure?

Frightening people
Is the goal of terrorists,
Like the GOP.
[tags]Terrorism, GOP Ads, Bin Laden, Scare Tactics, Bush Failure[/tags]

NIE Lies

Sunday, October 1st, 2006

Yesterday, Bush “used his weekly radio address … to challenge ‘misimpressions’ about the war.”

NIE Lies
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Georgie Dubya’s on the attack,
Slamming “misimpressions” about Iraq.
But the only falsehoods widely aired
Are talking points Dub’s “Brain” prepared.

[tags]NIE, National Intelligence Estimate, Bush’s Brain, Iraq War, Karl Rove, GOP Talking Points, Bush Lies, Misimpressions, Satire[/tags]

Torture Bill Haiku

Friday, September 29th, 2006

The Constitution
Was cast aside by Congress.
Hideous corpus!

[tags]Constitutional Law, Habeas Corpus, Detainees, Terror Suspects, Torture, Interrogation Techniques[/tags]

Bush Clouds Issue With “Clarity”

Sunday, September 24th, 2006

Clarity in torture rules?
Bush must think we’re drooling fools.
What he really wants and needs
Are pardons for his lawless deeds.

(My political verse is collected here.)

[tags]Bush, Clarity, Humor, Geneva Conventions, Pardons, Poems, Poetry, Torture, Satire, White House [/tags]

Bush The Protector (Limerick)

Sunday, September 24th, 2006

Only Bush can protect us some say,
Though George Dubya deceives us each day,
Using fear and big lies,
No informed person buys.
Are we safer with Dubya? No way!

(My political verse is collected here.)

[tags]Fear, Lies, Safety, Bush, Limericks, Humor, Poems, Poetry, Terrorism, White House[/tags]