J.D. Hayworth, in an effort to out-wingnut John McCain in Arizona’s Senatorial primary, is claiming that legalized same-sex marriage can lead to man-horse nuptials. This is what he had to say during his Rick Santorum-like “man on dog” moment:
You see, the Massachusetts Supreme Court, when it started this move toward same-sex marriage, actually defined marriage — now get this — it defined marriage as simply, “the establishment of intimacy.” Now how dangerous is that? I mean, I don’t mean to be absurd about it, but I guess I can make the point of absurdity with an absurd point — I guess that would mean if you really had affection for your horse, I guess you could marry your horse.
Now I’m very happily married to a human male right now. But just in case it doesn’t work out, I think this is wonderful news:
Hayworth’s Marriage Menagerie (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Would you like to be wed to a cat?
Or a horse, or a dog, or a bat?
Or even an ass?
Simply move out to Mass.
Hayworth says it’s okay. So that’s that.


Ode To Weak-Kneed Democrats
Monday, January 25th, 2010In the wake of the Massachusetts election debacle, I keep naively expecting Democrats to wake up and smell the need to stop acting like patsies.
Any minute now (I tell myself) Dems under Obama’s leadership will call a halt to the futile act of making nice with Republicans (and Blue Dogs) and will start pursuing a truly progressive agenda.
But, alas, Democrats seem to have learned exactly the wrong lesson from losing Ted Kennedy’s Senate seat to a Republican.
And that brings me to my latest limerick:
Ode To Weak-Kneed Democrats
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Dear Obama and co are you nuts?
Or did someone abscond with your guts?
If you act like you’re weak
All your power will leak,
Hurling Dems out of town on their butts.
********
Some related posts from Think Progress, Common Dreams, Susie Madrak, and Steve Benen.
Tags: Blue Dogs, Democratic Leadership, Election Humor, Legislation Satire, Massachusetts, Progressive Agenda
Posted in Barack Obama, Campaign Humor, Congress Humor, Election Satire, Filibuster Humor, GOP Humor, Leadership Humor, Legislation Humor, Martha Coakley, Media Satire, Minority Rights Humor, Political Commentary, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Scott Brown, Senate Satire, Washington, White House | No Comments »