Posts Tagged ‘Legal Humor’

A Legal Adieu To Special Master Review (Limerick)

Thursday, December 1st, 2022

Trump has lost his appeal in a rout;
Cannon’s pro-Donald rulings are out.
Special Master review
Has been halted. So cue
Sev’ral rants from that “former guy” lout.

Trump, The Extortionist (Limerick)

Tuesday, August 30th, 2022

Headline: “Trump Is Trying To Extort America”

Donald Trump is so desp’rate to thwart
Prosecution, he’s apt to resort
To additional crimes,
Like extortion ofttimes;
Indict Trump! Get that felon to court!

Garland v. Trump

Thursday, August 11th, 2022

Dear Donald, it seems that your bluff
Has been called, and in you’re in quite the huff.
Garland’s move to unseal
That warrant? Big deal!
Seems you’ve shot yourself right in the duff.

Trump’s Trumped-Up Victimhood (Limerick)

Thursday, August 11th, 2022

Donald’s so-called “unjustified raid”
Was approved by a judge. Don’t be played!
T’s were crossed. I’s were dotted.
His crimes have been spotted.
Our nation by Trump’s been betrayed.

Trump On The Defense? (Limerick)

Sunday, January 31st, 2021

From CNN: “Former President Donald Trump’s five impeachment defense attorneys have left a little more than a week before his trial is set to begin…”

“Mass election fraud — that’s my defense,”
Insisted the Donald, intense.
So his lawyers all quit:
“We’re not selling that shit!”
Donald’s lie ain’t just “big.” It’s immense!

Pondering Pardons (Limerick)

Wednesday, December 2nd, 2020

Is the almost-ex-prez on the skids?
Will he pardon himself and his kids?
While we don’t know for sure,
Seems he’ll never abjure
Engaging in acts law forbids.

Our Lawless President (Limerick)

Wednesday, April 24th, 2019

Trump delays and defies and he sues;
His flawed policy’s thwart and refuse.
Tell him “Follow the law,”
And he’ll yell or guffaw.
Don’t believe it? Try reading real news.

Limerick Ode To Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg

Friday, March 8th, 2019

Justice Ginsburg’s birthday is coming up on March 15th, and I couldn’t resist writing her a limerick. In fact, I even snail-mailed her a copy. Remember snail-mail?

Here it is:

Happy birthday dear Ruth. You’re the best!
You have met ev’ry challenge and test
With zest, brains, and class,
Plus just enough brass…
While the President feathers his nest.

That Pesky Emoluments Clause (Limerick)

Monday, December 3rd, 2018

Headline: “DC, Md. officials ready with subpoenas in Trump hotel case

The emoluments case marches on
With subpoenas to prove Donald’s con.
May the DC’s A.G.
And Maryland’s be
A success v. our President/Don.

Unconstitutional Stench of Whitaker Appointment (Limerick)

Monday, November 19th, 2018

Headline: “Senate Democrats Sue to Block Whitaker Appointment”

Will a judge block Matt Whitaker’s rise
To Acting A.G.? I surmise
His appointment’s unlawful–
Unspeakably awful…
But just fine in Trump-bootlicker eyes.

Open Limerick To Donald Trump

Sunday, May 6th, 2018

Dear Trump, Rudy’s “help” you don’t need.
I don’t know why you ever agreed
To let the guy rep you.
At best he will schelp you
To prison with mind-blowing speed.

Donald Trump — Unmasked … and Un-Esq’d (Limerick)

Tuesday, March 27th, 2018

The Donald’s a dreadful employer
And a volatile stature-destroyer.
His “art of the deal”
Is to lie, backbite, steal,
Which is why he can’t buy a good lawyer.

Farewell To John Dowd (Limerick)

Thursday, March 22nd, 2018

Trump’s lawyers are frequently nayed
And their Mueller advice disobeyed.
Donald’s gut rules his mind,
So John Dowd has resigned.
I wish the man luck getting paid!

Is Donald Doomed? (Limerick)

Tuesday, March 20th, 2018

This headline (and the column it quotes from) inspired my limerick: “How Stormy Daniels Could Doom Trump’s Presidency.”

Trump’s porn star could doom him. The key is
Donald’s sluttier and sleazier than SHE is!
He exults in his badness.
So SLUT-scorn her? Madness!
It won’t work; she’s as shameless as HE is.

Stormy Litigation (Limerick)

Wednesday, March 7th, 2018

It seems Stormy and Trump made a deal;
Pre-election, for cash she’d conceal
Their affair and much more.
Her lawyer, top drawer,
Claims it’s void. I await the reveal.

Limerick Ode To Would-Be-Dictator Donald

Monday, February 6th, 2017

Would-be-Dictator Donald’s upset;
Checks and balances pose quite the threat,
Cuz some courts have said, “No!
He’s been trumped. What a blow!
Seems he doesn’t own judges … just yet.

A New Gig For “Word Salad” Sarah

Tuesday, March 22nd, 2016

“Sarah Palin Developing Her Own Judge Judy-Style Reality Show”

Judge Palin? Please say it ain’t so.
Don’t panic. Supreme Court’s no go;
Not a judge in real life,
Simply legal case strife
On TV, a Judge-Judyish show.

Damn! I was so hoping she’d be The Donald’s running mate.

Clarence Thomas Speaks (Limerick)

Tuesday, March 1st, 2016

CNN 2/29/16 Headline: “Justice Clarence Thomas breaks 10-year streak, asks question in court.” (The issue before the court was whether a domestic assault conviction based on reckless conduct qualifies as a misdemeanor crime of domestic violence that would block firearm possession.)

Clarence Thomas can talk, after all;
Once famed for a decade-long haul
Of no-questions-in-court,
Now that Nino is mort,
He is having a gun-query ball.

The Huckster’s Plea (Limerick)

Wednesday, September 9th, 2015

I was amused to hear Mike Huckabee offer to go to jail in Kim Davis’ place.

In the midst of the Davis dissension
And her quest for gay marriage prevention,
Huck delivered this plea:
Don’t jail Davis. Jail ME!
It’s the only way Huck gets attention.

Limerick Ode To Kim Davis

Sunday, September 6th, 2015

Limerick Ode To Kim Davis
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A thrice-divorced clerk known as Kim
Seems to wed and divorce on a whim.
But this bigoted broad
Claims on orders from “God”
That she can’t let a guy wed a “him.”