Posts Tagged ‘Supreme Court Humor’

Susan Collins v. Decency (Limerick)

Saturday, October 6th, 2018

In making her Kavanaugh case,
Susan Collins neglected to face
Brett’s intemperate speech
And behavior; his breach
Of standards judicial was base.

*****

Intemperate Brett
shielded by Mitch and Donald;
Supreme Court sullied.

How Many Lies? (Song Parody Lyrics)

Wednesday, October 3rd, 2018

With Apologies To Bob Dylan:

How many lies can a candidate tell
Before you call him a sham?
How many times must Brett K lose control
Before Lindsey Graham tells him, “Scram!”?
Yes,’n’ how many beers must a nominee drink
Before he blacks out an assault?
The answer, my friend, is blowin’ in the wind.
The answer is blowin’ in the wind.

Limerick Ode To Brett a/k/a Bart

Wednesday, October 3rd, 2018

A fellow named Brett, nicknamed “Bart”
Apparently thinks he’s so smart;
He feels free to pretend
“Bart O’Kavanaugh” penned
By his friend ain’t “Bart” K at its heart.

That Mitch Is Quite A Stitch! (Limerick)

Thursday, June 28th, 2018

The Week: “Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell (R-Ky.) said Wednesday that the Senate will ‘vote to confirm’ the successor of outgoing Supreme Court Justice Anthony Kennedy ‘this fall,’ adding that ‘it’s imperative that the president’s nominee be treated fairly.'”

Mitch McConnell says Dems must be fair
When it’s time to fill Kennedy’s chair.
Forget fairness; send coal
To the Leader who stole
Our great Court. Tell that thief “This is guerre!”

Trump’s Tweet-Monitors Won’t Let Him Post This Limerick

Wednesday, February 1st, 2017

There is NO Muslim ban, and Dem tears
Are fake and deserve all our sneers!
And how dare they deplore such
A great guy as Gorsuch!
If they block him, I’ll nuke their careers!

Open Limerick To President Obama: Appoint Merrick Garland NOW! (2-Verse)

Thursday, November 10th, 2016

Prez Obama, the way they’ve behaved
Means the Senate has tacitly waived
Its advice/consent right
Re Judge Garland, so fight
And appoint him. That seat can be saved.

Sure the Senate will probably sue
And deem it some sort of a coup.
But it’s still wise to try,
Cuz the courts may just buy
Your contention. It’s worth the ado.

Open Limerick To Orrin Hatch

Thursday, May 26th, 2016

I laughed out loud when I heard about Sen. Orrin Hatch’s Deseret News op-ed, reporting the results of a meeting with Chief Judge Merrick Garland that had yet to take place:

“Like many of my Senate colleagues, I recently met with Chief Judge Merrick Garland, President Obama’s nominee to the Supreme Court. … Our meeting, however, does not change my conviction that the Senate should consider a Supreme Court nominee after this presidential election cycle,” Hatch wrote in an op-ed published on the website of the Deseret News early Thursday morning and later removed. It remains available in a Google database.

Dear Orrin, it isn’t a race
To report on a meeting you’ll face.
And it’s best not to claim
It did NOT change your game
When that meeting has yet to take place.

Clarence Thomas Speaks (Limerick)

Tuesday, March 1st, 2016

CNN 2/29/16 Headline: “Justice Clarence Thomas breaks 10-year streak, asks question in court.” (The issue before the court was whether a domestic assault conviction based on reckless conduct qualifies as a misdemeanor crime of domestic violence that would block firearm possession.)

Clarence Thomas can talk, after all;
Once famed for a decade-long haul
Of no-questions-in-court,
Now that Nino is mort,
He is having a gun-query ball.

Open Limerick To Mitch McConnell

Wednesday, February 24th, 2016

Dear Mitch, you must stop the obstruction
And your anti-Obama production.
A new Justice is needed.
It’s time that you heeded
Your duties. You MUST all this muck shun.

The Huckster’s Plea (Limerick)

Wednesday, September 9th, 2015

I was amused to hear Mike Huckabee offer to go to jail in Kim Davis’ place.

In the midst of the Davis dissension
And her quest for gay marriage prevention,
Huck delivered this plea:
Don’t jail Davis. Jail ME!
It’s the only way Huck gets attention.

Limerick Ode To Kim Davis

Sunday, September 6th, 2015

Limerick Ode To Kim Davis
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A thrice-divorced clerk known as Kim
Seems to wed and divorce on a whim.
But this bigoted broad
Claims on orders from “God”
That she can’t let a guy wed a “him.”

Scalia (Song Parody To Leonard Bernstein’s Maria, from West Side Story)

Monday, July 6th, 2015

Though I already wrote an Antonin Scalia limerick today, I’m itching for more. So I composed these song parody lyrics to the tune of “Maria.”

Now Scalia/Maria does sound obvious. So I’m surely not the first to use “Maria” to parody Scalia. But I don’t want to do a Google search, lest I be inadvertently influenced by someone else’s lyrics.

And with that disclaimer out of the way, here’s my parody:

Scalia,
The jiggery-pok’ry Scalia,
Treats justice like a game,
The worst judge I can name, you see.

Scalia,
The wingnutty jurist, Scalia,
Demands the final word
With phrases so absurd, to me.

Scalia,
When he loses a case, he’s sulking,
And his presence is always so hulking.

Scalia,
The nastiest Justice, Scalia.

Scalia, Scalia, Scalia, etc.

Scalia,
Pitches disses, instead of reason,
Disagreements with him — treats like treason.

Scalia,
That sore-losing, pompous Scalia.

The most odious person on that Court:

Scalia!

Limerick Ode To Antonin Scalia

Monday, July 6th, 2015

If you follow the U.S. Supreme Court, you know that Justice Scalia ended the term by hurling some colorful, spoiled-bratty insults at his fellow judges. His behavior was so over-the-top, that Slate created The Antonin Scalia “Sick Burn” Generator, an insult creator packed with Scalia-isms.

This calls for a limerick, don’t you think?

Using lingo arcane and absurd,
Scalia must have the last word:
Gives “the bird” to his peers
With “pure apple sauce” jeers
He’s a “jiggery-pokery” turd.

Supreme Surprise (Limerick)

Monday, October 6th, 2014

Supreme Surprise (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

The SCOTUS has caused quite a din
Over gay marriage rights. Is it sin
Or just fine for the states
To say gays can be mates?
Its response is “We shouldn’t mix in.”

Happy Birthday To The Supremes (Limerick)

Wednesday, September 24th, 2014

Happy 225th birthday to the U.S. Supreme Court! (On Sept. 24, 1789 President George Washington signed the
Judiciary Act of 1789, which created a Supreme Court with six justices.)

Happy Birthday To The Supremes (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Seems today marks the birth of a court,
The court of supreme last resort.
Chief Justice John Jay
Ran it back in the day.
I just wish it would do what it ort.

Limerick Ode To Antonin Scalia

Monday, April 21st, 2014

I can’t help wondering whether Supreme Court Justice Scalia says weird things like this just for attention:

Speaking at the University of Tennessee College of Law on Tuesday, the longest-serving justice currently on the bench was asked by a student about the constitutionality of the income tax, the Knoxville News Sentinel reports.

Scalia responded that the government has the right to implement the tax, “but if it reaches a certain point, perhaps you should revolt.”

Limerick Ode To Antonin Scalia
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Suggesting that students revolt
Over taxes ain’t very adult.
It seems doltish Scalia
Has mouth diarrhea.
I surmise that his brain’s short a bolt.

Limerick Ode To Antonin Scalia

Monday, March 4th, 2013

I’ve been meaning to write about Antonin Scalia’s obnoxious Voting Rights Act comments. Something tells me he’d be a bit more enthused about the law, if the people it protected tended to vote Republican.

Limerick Ode To Antonin Scalia
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Scalia gave quite the recital
With that “racial entitlement” title
He “bestowed” on the vote,
Fearing Dem voter bloat:
To Scalia, such voters ain’t vital.

Alpha-Political Verse (Election 2012)

Wednesday, October 10th, 2012

Alpha-Political Verse (Election 2012)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A is for abortions, which Mitt Romney vows to ban.
B is for the Birthers. Gov’nor Romney’s quite the fan.

C’s for the contempt Mitt feels for folks who aren’t rich.
D is for a sham debate — Mitt’s pseudo-moderate switch.

E’s evolving policies Mitt seem to change each day.
F is for those pesky facts. For Mitt they don’t hold sway.

G’s for global warming. Mitt no longer thinks it’s real.
H is homophobia. Gay marriage he’d repeal.

I’s for immigration. Self-deporting! What a plan!
J’s for rightwing judges. Justice Roberts is Mitt’s man.

K is for the Koch Bros. Mr. Romney’s in their debt.
L’s for all the lies Mitt tells. The truth to Mitt’s a threat.

M’s Medicare and Medicaid. Mitt screws the old and poor.
N’s for Romney’s negative campaign, fact-challenged to its core.

O’s for Mitt’s Olympics and the bailout Mitt secured.
P is for Paul Ryan’s plan. Mitt’s keeping it obscured.

Q’s for follow-up questions. Journos find them such a bore.
R’s for regulations. Mitt is anti … also for.

S is Social Security — Mitt pretends he wants to save.
T is tax cuts for the rich, which Romney donors crave.

U’s the unemployment that Mitt Romney helped create.
V is all those varmints Romney killed … and maybe ate.

W’s for lots of foreign wars. Mitt’s spoiling for a fight.
X is for your ballot mark. Be sure to do it right.

Y’s for “Yes, we can” make sure the President prevails.
And Z’s for right-wing zealots. I look forward to their wails.

(You can find my previous alpha-political verse here,
here, here, and here.)

Courting Votes (Limerick)

Monday, October 1st, 2012

Today is the First Monday in October, which means the U.S. Supreme Court is back in session. A court, I might add, that’s packed with aging Justices, who could very well retire in the next four years.

Courting Votes (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

The Supreme Court is back in DC—
A reminder that voting is key.
Just imagine the blight:
A court swing further right—
Forty-seven percenter debris.

UPDATE: In a Facebook discussion of my limerick, someone suggested that smoking weed might improve the Justices’ ability to render good decisions. So naturally, I had to write this:

The Justices need to be stoned —
Not with rocks, of course. Cannabis-zoned.
They’d make better decisions
And fewer provisions
Wherein stare decisis is boned.

SCOTUS-Scolding Scandal? (Limerick)

Thursday, April 5th, 2012

Wow! When I wasn’t looking, President Obama apparently mugged the U.S. Supreme Court:

To the fainting couch! Obama attacked the Supreme Court and threatened it with a backlash, should it strike down his tyrannical scheme to impose a government takeover of health care on the nation!

That’s what many conservative writers and even some centrist ones are arguing. They are saying that Obama’s words about the Court yesterday were “unsettling” and a “witch-hunt,” and they’re likening them to F.D.R.’s efforts to pack the Court in retaliation for decisions striking down New Deal initiatives.

Please. If what Obama said yesterday is an “attack,” it’s pretty timid stuff indeed.

SCOTUS-Scolding Scandal? (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

The very same wingnuts who blast
So-called “activist courts” are aghast
And are faulting Obama
With petulant drama:
“He’s attacking the Court,” they lambaste.

Seems those wingnut Supremes need a hug,
Cuz Obama’s a meanie and “thug.”
His complaint, although mild,
Is driving them wild.
Those guys are sure easy to bug.