Archive for the ‘Dick Cheney Satire’ Category

Limerick Ode To “Tough Guy” Romney

Monday, October 8th, 2012

So, is everyone impressed with Mitt Romney’s big deal foreign policy speech?

I didn’t think so.

Limerick Ode To “Tough Guy” Romney
By Madeleine Begun Kane

He’ll speak loudly and wave a big stick:
That would summarize Mitt Romney’s schtick
Foreign policy-wise.
Sounds a lot like those guys
Who made rather a mess — Dub and Dick.

Kick-Ass Limerick

Thursday, June 10th, 2010

The language police are at it again. Republicans and Fox News (sorry to be redundant) are simply horrified at President Obama’s “unpresidential” language.

What are they so pretend-upset about? Obama used the word ass in response to Matt Lauer’s oil crisis question about kicking butt.

Apparently this is extremely shocking to the same folks who had no problem with f**ks from Bush, Cheney, and McCain.

That brings me to my latest limerick:

Kick-Ass Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane

The Republicans’ delicate ears
Are offended by ass, it appears.
F**k is fine from McCain,
Bush, and Cheney — that’s plain.
But ass from Barack begets jeers.

Liz Cheney: Chip Off The Old Crock

Saturday, March 6th, 2010

A right-winger has to go pretty far to be criticized by both the left and the right. But Liz Cheney and her Keep America Safe organization have managed to do it with their McCarthy-like attacks on U.S. Justice Department lawyers, smearing and demonizing them as terrorist sympathizers for their previous legal work defending Gitmo detainees.

This brings me to my latest two-verse limerick:

Liz Cheney: Chip Off The Old Crock
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Has Cheney gone stark raving mad?
I’m speaking of Liz — not her dad.
Now even some peers
Are attacking her smears
As McCarthy-like. Talk about sad!

When her natural allies cry foul,
She’s applying her lies with a trowel.
If she fails to give in
And fess up to her sin,
She’ll end up with a Dick Cheney scowl.

Related Posts: Liz Cheney’s Song and Ode To The Deceitful Cheneys

Al-Qaeda Talking Points?

Tuesday, January 12th, 2010

Are prominent right-wingers acting as unpaid PR agents for al Qaeda, in their zeal to undermine Obama?

In a word — yes! After all, the purpose of terrorism is to scare people into overreaction. So when GOP attack dogs like Dick Cheney, Liz Cheney, Michael Steele, Bill Kristol, Pete King, Pete Hoekstra, Jim DeMint and countless others characterize a failed terrorist attack as a success and try to terrify the public, they are unwittingly helping al Qaeda.

That leads me to my latest limerick:

Al-Qaeda Talking Points?
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Dear Michael and Peter and Dick,
Your Obama vendetta is sick.
Cuz behavior like yours —
Turning flops into scores —
Creates fear, which makes terrorists tick.

Dick Cheney’s Steno Pool (Updated)

Wednesday, December 2nd, 2009

Somebody please explain why the garbage and lies spewed by Richard Cheney are routinely treated like they’re gospel. Dick makes George W. Bush look like a statesman, for heaven sakes. And yet media outlets love to present the former Veep’s vicious distortions and malicious rants virtually without challenge.

The latest example is Politico’s regurgitation of Cheney’s lengthy tirade against President Obama. A tirade, I might add, made on the eve of Obama’s Afghanistan troop buildup speech at West Point.

Politico deserves a double limerick, don’t you think?

Dick Cheney’s Steno Pool (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Dear Politico, kindly explain
Why you act like Dick Cheney is sane.
You repeat all his lies
Like they’re truthful and wise.
Your stenography’s worse than inane.

Richard Cheney has harmed our great nation.
Yet you act like each Cheney quotation
Is golden and true,
Worth transcribing on cue.
You’re not journos — you just take dictation.

UPDATE: Unbelievable! Apparently the Pulitzer Board is fond of Cheney’s steno pool. It just elected Jim VandeHei, executive editor and co-founder of Politico, to the Pulitzer Board. Can a Pulitzer Prize for Drudge be far behind?

Related Posts: Ode To Fresh Faces; and Bush & Cheney’s Blunderland Song Parody

Ode To Pro-Rape Republicans

Friday, October 9th, 2009

Thirty Senate Republicans voted to keep rape victims who work for defense contractors from having their day in court. How? By voting against an Al Franken-proposed amendment to the 2010 Defense Appropriations Bill that would withhold defense contracts from companies (like Dick Cheney’s KBR) “if they restrict their employees from taking workplace sexual assault, battery and discrimination cases to court.”

Franken was inspired to sponsor this amendment by the ordeal of Jamie Leigh Jones, who was gang-raped by her co-workers while working for Halliburton/KBR in Baghdad. A clause in Jones’ KBR employment contract made employer-friendly private arbitration her only recourse, precluding Jones from seeking justice in court.

I hope all those pro-rape Republicans (listed below my limerick) are proud of themselves:

Ode To Pro-Rape Republicans (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Though Republicans yearn for support
From females, they’re bound to fall short:
Their position on rape
Is in criminal shape
Cuz they treat it like less than a tort.

Here’s the list of the thirty pro-rape Republican Senators:
Lamar Alexander (R-TN) John Barrasso (R-WY) Christopher Bond (R-MO) Sam Brownback (R-KS) Jim Bunning (R-KY) Richard Burr (R-NC) Saxby Chambliss (R-GA) Tom Coburn (R-OK) Thad Cochran (R-MS) Bob Corker (R-TN) John Cornyn (R-TX) Mike Crapo (R-ID) Jim DeMint (R-SC) John Ensign (R-NV) Michael Enzi (R-WY) Lindsey Graham (R-SC) Judd Gregg (R-NH) James Inhofe (R-OK) Johnny Isakson (R-GA) Mike Johanns (R-NE) Jon Kyl (R-AZ) John McCain (R-AZ) Mitch McConnell (R-KY) James Risch (R-ID) Pat Roberts (R-KS) Jeff Sessions (R-AL) Richard Shelby (R-AL) John Thune (R-SD) David Vitter (R-LA) Roger Wicker (R-MS)

Ode To The Deceitful Cheneys

Monday, May 25th, 2009

The omni-presence of Dick and Liz Cheney on (as Rachel Maddow loves to call it) “the TV machine” is nearly enough to get me to toss out my televisions. Of course, to have even a shot at avoiding their tortured lies, I’d have to cancel my Net connection, throw out my radios, and avert my eyes in the unlikely event that I encounter a newspaper.

Ode To The Deceitful Cheneys (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

There once was a daughter named Liz
Who joined in the family biz.
The business was lying,
With all members vying
For liar-in-chief — each a wiz.

Which Veep Talks Too Much?

Monday, May 11th, 2009

Dick Cheney refuses to crawl back into his undisclosed location … and Democrats rejoice:

Which Veep Talks Too Much?
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Dear Dick, thanks for talking non-stop
And for ruining the GOP’s op
To convince normal folks
That they aren’t all jokes.
Keep ensuring their “rebrand” will flop.

Two Dicks

Monday, May 11th, 2009

Dick Cheney and Rush Limbaugh have been having quite the love fest lately. Of course, they’ve always been in bed together:

Dick and Rush,
And Rush and Dick—
The only real Republicans.
They really click.
The soulless man for Dick is Rush,
And Rush for Dick.
Love lying together.

(My apologies to the The Turtles.)

Ode To Fresh Faces

Friday, May 8th, 2009

Ode To Fresh Faces
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Republican planning is plain.
They want to rebrand, they explain.
So on Sunday’s TV
New faces we’ll see:
Folks like Cheney and Newt and McCain.

Email Swiped From Dick Cheney’s In-Box

Tuesday, March 24th, 2009

Some Republicans think Dick Cheney’s making things worse for their party. Don’t believe me? Here’s an email I managed to swipe from Cheney’s in-box:

Dear Dick Cheney, return to your cave.
The GOP’s health is quite grave,
And you’re making things worse.
Write a book or some verse
Till such time as you learn to behave.

Quote of the Day

Saturday, February 28th, 2009

“The great irony of where we are today is that we had a Bush-Obama big-spending program that was bipartisan in its nature. We got big spending under Bush, now we’ve got big spending under Obama.” (Newt Gingrich as quoted by the New York Times)

Funny, but I could have sworn that Dick Cheney was Bush’s Veep.

An Alpha-Political Farewell to Bush and Cheney

Tuesday, January 13th, 2009

Back in 2004 I summed up George Bush’s first term in my Alpha Politics. So it seems only appropriate to do the same for the Bush-Cheney second term. (Most of the links point to one of my satirical posts on the topic.)

A is for Jack Abramoff who’s big in pay-to-play.

B’s for greedy bankers who have fleeced the USA.

C is for Sen. Craig who isn’t gay, except in bed.

D is for democracy which Dubya hasn’t spread.

E’s for the economy which George and Dick destroyed.

F’s for filibuster. You need merely say the “woid”.

G’s for Giuliani who is 9-1-1 obsessed.

H is for hypocrisy — the right-wing does it best.

I is for impeachment which Bush/Cheney sure deserve.

J’s for Joe The Plumber — right-wing symbol. What a nerve!

K is for Ms. Kennedy, the would-be New York Sen.

L is for Joe Lieberman, the worst of traitor men.

M’s for John McCain who zigged and zagged till he was hoarse.

N is for Ralph Nader who is still without remorse.

O is for O’Reilly — shuts up those who disagree.

P is for Gov. Palin who has “saved” the GOP.

Q is for the air quotes placed by John on mother’s “health.”

R is for recession — say goodbye to all your wealth.

S is for Gov. Spitzer. Prostitution did him in.

T is for the terrorists, now savoring their win.

U is for the USA, on life support right now.

V is for the victor. Prez Obama take a bow.

W’s for the White House left by Bush in disarray.

X is for the X’ing out of Bush regs any day.

Y’s for “Yes, we can,” Barack Obama’s sanguine creed.

And Z’s for right-wing zealots who methinks are off their feed.

Dear Bush, Doesn’t Your Brush Need Clearing?

Saturday, November 22nd, 2008

Like The New York Times’ Gail Collins and so many others, I think Bush and Cheney need to take early retirement. Otherwise, by the time Obama is president, there won’t be anything left to preside over:

Dear Bush, Doesn’t Your Brush Need Clearing? (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Dear Dubya, you’re only success
Is at failure. Leave early. Egress!
We have found your replacement,
So end the debasement.
Let Obama start fixing your mess.

First Pakistan And Then…

Sunday, November 4th, 2007

While Bush and Cheney are busily threatening World War 3 over of Iran’s potential future nuclear threat, their great nuke-possessing Pakistan pal President Gen. Pervez Musharraf has declared “emergency rule.”  Are you feeling safer yet?

A pair of haiku to commemorate the occasion.

Musharraf  declares
Martial law in Pakistan.
Bush lets freedom ring.

Emergency rule.
Constitution suspension.
Dick Cheney’s wet dream.

Update: Are Bush/Cheney speechwriters working for Musharraf?

Just after midnight, General Musharraf appeared on state-run television. In a 45-minute speech, he said he had declared the emergency to limit terrorist attacks and “preserve the democratic transition that I initiated eight years back.”

He accused the country’s Supreme Court of releasing 61 men who he said were under investigation for terrorist activities. “Judicial activism,” he said, had demoralized the security forces, hurt the fight against terrorism and slowed the spread of democracy. “Obstacles are being created in the way of democratic process,” he said, “I think for vested, personal interests, against the interest of the country.”

Update 2: For more satire on the same topic, visit Don Davis’s Musharraf Suspends Constitution: Bush Gets ‘Pervez Envy.’[tags]Pakistan, President Gen. Pervez Musharraf, Emergency Rule, Nukes, BlogFriday, Martial Law, Nuclear Threat[/tags]

Bush’s Private Podium — The Real Dope

Thursday, August 9th, 2007

According to Americablog, CNN’s Ed Henry has reported that Bush now has a spanking new (and personal) press briefing room podium.

I guess the podium used by Tony Snow and Dana Perino must have cooties. Or perhaps they’re hiding some sort of electronic “dictate the answers to Bush” equipment inside his personal podium. On the other hand, this just might be Dick Cheney’s undisclosed location.

Bush on his podium
Fills me with odium.
Pass the Imodium. [tags]Bush Podium, Bush Press Conferences, Cheney Undisclosed Location, Tony Snow, Dana Perino[/tags]

Political Madness Bush Impeachment Poll

Sunday, July 22nd, 2007

I’ve been itching to impeach Bush for as long as I remember.  In fact, I’m starting to lose track  of all the song parodies, poems, and limericks I’ve written on the topic. 

I’ve also been itching to post polls here and I figured why not start with an impeachment poll. And now that I’ve found this very cool Democracy WordPress poll plugin, here’s my first ever poll. (You can also find this poll on my sidebar.)

{democracy:2}

UPDATE:  I’m running a far less controversial poll at my other non-political humor blog. [tags]Impeach, Impeachment Poll, Impeach Bush, Impeach Cheney, WordPress Poll, Impeachment Song Parody, Impeachment Verse, Impeachment Poems, Impeachment Limericks, Democracy WordPress Poll Plugin, Sidebar Poll[/tags]

Probing Question (Haiku)

Saturday, July 21st, 2007

Requisite Bush colonoscopy snark:

Dick Cheney’s in charge
While George Bush is unconscious.
How’s this day different…?

(You can find more of my news haiku here.) [tags]President Bush, VP Cheney, Bush Colonoscopy, Bush Snark, Politics Haiku [/tags]

Lawless President Pays Off Law-Breaker Libby (News Haiku)

Tuesday, July 3rd, 2007

I can almost hear that promise Bush and Cheney surely made to Scooter Libby way back when:

Tell no tales,
And you won’t go to jail.
 

Scooter came through with flying (and lying) colors and has now gotten his unjust deserts:

Bush obstructs justice,
Rewarding Scooter’s silence:
Prison-free pay-off.

(You can find more legal and lawyer humor and satire here and more news and political haiku here.) [tags]Scooter Libby, Lewis “Scooter” Libby, Commutation, Commuted Sentence, Bush Obstructs Justice, President Bush, VP Cheney, Cover Up, Valerie Plame[/tags]

Dick “Constitution Killer” Cheney Strikes Again

Thursday, June 21st, 2007

I wonder if President Bush was as surprised as the rest of us at learning that his VEEP isn’t part of the Executive Branch.  Yup, Bush’s Lord and Master Dick Cheney has declared his office to be exempt from all sorts of pesky legal Executive Branch requirements because — presto chango — it isn’t part of the Executive Branch.  Needless to say, Henry Waxman and the House Oversight and Government Reform Committee aren’t pleased with Cheney’s out-of-the-box Constitution-plundering assertion.

Just one question: If VEEP Cheney isn’t part of the Executive Branch, does that mean he’s waived his right to claim Executive Privilege?  Just wondering.

(You can find more of my legal and lawyer humor and satire here.)

[tags]Dick Cheney, Vice President Richard Cheney, Executive Privilege, Executive Branch, Chairman Waxman, House Oversight And Government Reform Committee, Constitutional Crisis, George Bush, Satire[/tags]