The media’s biased, ill-bred,
And in bed with that crook who’s ahead.
If I lose, it’s the press
Who’s at fault for my mess.
How dare they report what I’ve said!
Posts Tagged ‘Hillary Clinton’
The media’s biased, ill-bred,
Trump Headline of the Day: “I’ll Only Lose With ‘Cheating,’ Asks Supporters To Watch Polling Places.”
As I explain in my 2-verse limerick, Trump’s urging supporters to intimidate Democratic voters:
In a nutshell, here’s Donald’s j’accuse:
“Only cheating can cause me to lose.
“Stop those people (sub-par) –
“You all know who they are –
“From stealing what’s mine.” What a ruse!
Don’t be fooled by the Trumpian spin.
Calls for action like that are a sin;
He’s encouraging fans
To make bullying plans,
Cuz it’s CHEATING Trump NEEDS for a WIN.
Trump’s speeches are vile and bombastic,
With fantastical falsehoods so drastic,
That he crosses the line,
Which for Trump is just fine.
His defense? “I was being sarcastic.”
Donald Trump in the Oval Office? Imprisonment for threatening a fellow presidential candidate seems more appropriate to me.
Trump’s gun-loving supporters knew exactly what Trump meant, when he said this:
If she gets to pick her judges, nothing you can do folks. Although the Second Amendment people, maybe there is, I don’t know.
Did you hear the vile message Trump sent?
To the gun owners, here’s what he meant:
If Trump’s beaten by Hill,
Then their gun rights are nil–
Something only her death can prevent.
Will Delusional Donald debate?
Well of course, so folks see that he’s “great.”
Though he plays hard to get
With “conditions,” I’ll bet
He can’t wait; he’s so sure of his fate.
I suspect that The Donald is scared
That his knowledge-lack’s sure to be bared
In a Clinton debate.
Hence his tale out the gate:
“Clinton rigged the debate dates,” he blared.
Are you confused by the Trump/Putin relationship? The Donald has helpfully written us this limerick:
Meet Putin? I did not … or did.
No one hacked, just to help with my bid.
But what a great plan!
Hey Putin, my man,
Hack those emails that Hillary hid.
Dear Bernie, I hope you’ll succeed
In persuading supporters to heed
All your “real world” advice.
If you fail, our steep price
Is a probable Trumped-up stampede.
Bernie’s Clinton endorsement has come.
Sanders’ fans? Some are mad, some just glum.
Will they heed his late cue,
Or continue to boo?
I sure hope they don’t do something dumb.
Dear Donald, you once would extol
Your rankings in poll after poll.
You’d brag and you’d gloat
And you’d proudly emote
About numbers you loved, heart and soul.
But now that you’re deep in the hole,
With low poll numbers taking their toll,
You scream and you swear
That they’re fake and unfair–
Once a poll-touter, now a poll troll.
Dear Bernie: I started out liking you, but preferring Hillary. Over time, my respect for you has gradually declined. However until today, I still thought you were a well-meaning progressive, albeit one with an over-inflated ego and a soupçon of sexism.
But all that has changed as a result of your “performance” today on CNN’s State of the Union. My regard for you now is undoubtedly every bit as low as the “Bernie Or Busters’ regard for Hillary Clinton.
So please don’t bother endorsing Hillary EVER. It’s way too late. Nobody cares!
And by all means please keep up your increasingly obnoxious remarks about Hillary — comments you apparently must spew in order to maintain the media attention you require to get through the day. Because again, NOBODY CARES!
And re your: “We are trying to say to Secretary Clinton and the Clinton campaign, ‘Make it clear which side you are on,’” please get therapy. Your need for it appears desperate.
PS: You LOST!!!
My Hillary speech went off great!
And I’m betting that liar’s irate.
I’ll shellack her and whack her,
Attack her and thwack her.
Getting rich in the Oval’s my fate.
Dear Bernie, feel free to contest
The convention with zeal and with zest.
But in case that you think
We’re naive and will shrink
In your wake, you’ll speak midnight, at best.
Explain Bernie? I’ll give it a whirl:
He apparently thinks he’s a pearl,
And that Hill and her lot
Are beneath him — worth squat –
Plus he CAN’T bear to lose to a girl.
It seems possible that Bernie won’t endorse Hillary. Or that he’ll delay his endorsement for so long, that it loses much of its effectiveness. And that makes me wonder how valuable a timely Sanders endorsement really is. And how damaging his non-endorsement might be.
From what I can gather, Bernie supporters fall into three broad categories:
1: Those who’ve said all along that they will vote for whoever gets the Democratic nomination.
2: Those who’ve come to realize that (however they may feel about Hillary) Trump is a dangerous threat to our nation and must be stopped.
3: Bernie Or Busters who are so anti-Hillary, that they turned against Elizabeth Warren, the second she endorsed her.
So, would a reasonably prompt Bernie endorsement have any value beyond the symbolic? That very question inspired this limerick:
An endorsement from Bernie’d be great,
Though I’d ask if it truly has weight;
Donald must be shellacked!
You don’t see this? You’re whacked!
And your Bern love could soon turn to hate.
Trump’s “Four Pinocchios” keep mounting up, as The Donald amplifies his conspiracy-theory-fed attacks on Hillary Clinton.
The Donald will use any source
(Even chain mail from fringe groups, of course)
In attacking a rival.
His key to survival?
Coarse indiff’rence to truth, sans remorse.
Dear Bernie: Only a candidate who cares more about himself than about our nation, could refer to choosing between Clinton and Trump as “the lesser of two evils.”
“The lesser of two evils” –
That’s the phrasing Bernie used
To describe the coming battle,
Hill v Trump. I’m NOT amused.
Revealing his true colors
In that line for all to hear,
He let bitterness at losing
Spur a reckless, noxious smear.
I was really hoping that Bernie Sanders would behave like a statesman in the wake of the horrific behavior of Sanders’ supporters in Nevada.
Instead, he released this press release, with only the most mealy-mouthed general criticism of violence — a press release dominated by his own recitation of campaign grievances.
When supporters of yours misbehave
Please don’t act like a put-upon knave.
You should strongly indict
Pro-Bern violence with bite,
And not feed them the pep talk they crave.
You’re a Bernie supporter? That’s fine.
You’re a “Bernie or Buster?” Go whine
And spread lies on some page
That’s more friendly. Vent rage
Against Hill somewhere else. Not on mine!
As a running mate, I’d be ideal.
But I’ll never be yours, so get real!
Be advised, I insist:
Keep me off of your list.
Even Hillary has more appeal.