Posts Tagged ‘Hillary Clinton’

Open Limerick To Donald Trump From Most Leading Republicans

Sunday, May 1st, 2016

As a running mate, I’d be ideal.
But I’ll never be yours, so get real!
Be advised, I insist:
Keep me off of your list.
Even Hillary has more appeal.

Open Limerick To “Bernie Or Busters”

Friday, April 29th, 2016

I can’t help wondering whether Bernie’s bound to lose his halo:

There are Dems who think Hill fans are dumb.
Seems she’s “evil” and “venal,” to some.
Here’s my question: When Bern
Does back Hill, will they spurn
“Sainted Bern” and demote him to scum?

Open Limerick To Hillary-Haters

Tuesday, April 26th, 2016

The Bernie or Bust meme’s akin
To ensuring a GOP win.
So who is the shill
For vows to spurn Hill?
Karl Rove… or duped Dems drunk on spin?

*****

I’m for Hill, you’ve sussed.
Vote for Bernie, if you must.
Nix “Bernie or Bust.”

Open Limerick to Any Bernie Fan Enraged By My Posts

Wednesday, March 30th, 2016

If Bernie beats Hillary, fine;
I’ll support him and nary a whine
Will I utter or write.
But right now I shall fight.
As for efforts to silence me, “Nein!”

Open Limerick To Bernie Sanders

Tuesday, March 29th, 2016

This limerick was inspired by Bernie Sanders surrogates (like Susan Sarandon) who essentially tell folks NOT to support Hillary if she gets the nomination:

Dear Bernie, the time has now come
To disown and renounce any chum
Who with surrogate clout
Says: If Hill beats Bern out,
Vote for somebody else. She’s a bum.

(Here’s Charles Blow’s excellent video response to Sarandon’s comments.)

In the Soup? Flip Superdelegates (Limerick)

Thursday, March 17th, 2016

Sanders’ Campaign Old Stance re Superdelegates: They’re establishment types who undo the will of the voters.

Sanders’ Campaign Post-5-State-Loss Stance: Flip Clinton’s Superdelegates.

Superdelegates ought to be banned;
They’re unfair and can wrongfully hand
The win to the chick
That the voters don’t pick.
This once was the stance of Bern’s brand.

But now that the voters made clear
That Bernie’s support gap’s severe,
He’s looking to woo
Clinton’s “Sups” to undo
Voter powers he claims to hold dear.

Those Damn Emails! (Limerick)

Saturday, January 30th, 2016

I’m so sick of the news stories meant
To defame Mrs. Clinton with bent,
Sleazy headlines and lies
Told to make you surmise
That her emails were “secret” when sent.

Yet Another Benghazi Hearing Limerick (2-Verse)

Saturday, October 24th, 2015

That GOP slug-fest of jeering
Was a stamina-trial of a hearing,
For the GOP goal
Was to rattle and roll
HRC. But instead? Pro-Hill cheering.

And for those thinking Clinton’s too old
To be prez, they need only behold
The results of that test
Of endurance — she’d best
Hill’ry’s juniors — Olympian gold!

Limerick Ode To The Benghazi-Obsessed Hillary Haters

Friday, October 23rd, 2015

The Hillary haters are sad.
They were praying that Hill would do bad
At hearings designed
To put Hill in a bind
And malign, wear her down, drive her mad.

But Hillary won in a rout.
Trey Gowdy and co left no doubt
That her rep they must shatter.
To them, facts don’t matter
In their shamef’ly political bout.

About Last Night (Limerick)

Wednesday, October 14th, 2015

Here’s how I’d sum up the first Democratic debate:

I’d say Hillary easily won,
And Bernie did well in the sun.
Whiny Webb? Dull O’Malley?
Dazed Chafee? Finale!
They should quit cuz their runs are undone.

Be Careful What We Wish For (2-Verse Limerick)

Sunday, August 9th, 2015

Be Careful What We Wish For (2-Verse Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Picture Trump with the GOP nod.
Yes I know that sounds terribly odd.
But its base is bizarre,
And he’s gotten this far…
Plus his rivals are nearly as flawed.

In theory, this might be a boon
For the Democrats: “Clinton v. Loon!”
There are risks though, galore:
If George Bush could “Trump” Gore,
Odds are strong we’d (s)elect this buffoon.

Political Tidbits

Saturday, March 21st, 2015

Glenn Beck just announced that he’s quitting the Republican Party.

It seems the GOP isn’t quite crazy enough for him.

*****

To prove he really means it this time, Donald Trump is forming a presidential exploratory committee.

Some circuses just can’t have too many rings.

*****

Dear Rand Paul, I don’t live in Kentucky,
And I think that you’re far worse than yucky.
Why’s your newsletter clogging
My email and dogging
My bandwidth with viewpoints so sucky?

*****

Facts can be pesky
and undermine views.
But the right just discards them
like old, worn out shoes.

*****

In a Playboy interview, Dick Cheney said Obama is “the worst president of my lifetime”.

I could have sworn that title belonged to Cheney.

*****

Why don’t I call
the GOP pols heartless?
I hate redundancy.

*****

Re Matt McLaughlin’s gays-killing CA ballot initiative, doesn’t his “Sodomite Suppression Act” deserve a “Matt McLaughlin Suppression Act?”

*****
Alaska Republican Rep. Don Young suggested letting wolves loose to cure the homeless problem.

What a foxy way to angle for a job at Fox News!

*****

The duped marks wallow
in hollow crap they swallow
from pols they follow.

*****

Conservative commentator Dinesh D’Souza has denounced Hillary Clinton’s “lawlessness.”

But I think D’Souza is just lonely serving time for violating campaign finance laws.

*****

Sudden clarity
of thought and reason in pols–
Can’t a gal dream?

*****

Wisconsin Gov. Scott Walker has signed a “Right-to-Work” law, a/k/a the “Right to Destroy Unions by Reaping Benefits Without Paying Dues” law.

******

GOP hucksters
hock our nation’s future
to gain/maintain power.

*****

Open Limerick to Charlotte Clinton Mezvinsky

Tuesday, September 30th, 2014

Open Limerick to Charlotte Clinton Mezvinsky
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Dear Charlotte, I hope you’re prepared
For attacks, because war’s been declared.
Though you just got your name,
You’re a Clinton — fair game!
Newborn Hillary-heirs won’t be spared.

Spoofing Maureen Dowd

Monday, May 19th, 2014

Though my tweet-sized Maureen Dowd-style fake quote didn’t win last week’s New York Magazine contest, at least it got me an Honorable Mention.

Here’s my HM-winning entry:

Hill’s at war; vicious oval of ambition vs doting grandma dotage. Will Monica Redux push her past pantsuit to sweatsuit?

“Bush’s Brain” Does It Again (2-Verse Limerick)

Wednesday, May 14th, 2014

Karl Rove a/k/a “Turd Blossom” a/k/a “Bush’s Brain” is at it again. And this time his target is Hillary Clinton. First he strongly implies that she had “traumatic brain injury,” while greatly exaggerating the length of her hospital stay:

“Thirty days in the hospital?” Rove said, according to the report. “And when she reappears, she’s wearing glasses that are only for people who have traumatic brain injury? We need to know what’s up with that.”

Next he denies using the specific phrase “brain damage,” as if that makes everything copacetic.

Of course this sort of dirty tricks attack is SOP for Karl Rove.

“Bush’s Brain” Does It Again (2-Verse Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Rove’s method is slur and then flee.
His hit jobs leave drive-by debris.
He’ll strongly imply
Something’s true, then deny
That he used a set phrase he deems key.

Rove’s now on an anti-Hill spree,
Lodging brain-health aspersions with glee.
He’ll imply Hill’ry’s brain
Has been damaged, then feign
Complete innocence: Smear her? Not ME!

Infantile Pundits Give Birth To More Wind (Limerick)

Monday, April 21st, 2014

I just love Jeff Greenfield’s take on the “Baby Clinton Madness.” I’m referring, of course, to all the nonsensical opinionating about its effect (or non-effect) on Hillary Clinton’s presumed presidential candidacy.

Infantile Pundits Give Birth To More Wind (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

OMG! Chelsea Clinton’s with child!
Watch political gas-bags go wild,
As they mindlessly mine
Its effects and opine.
Yes, those pundits are rightly reviled.

Hillary Clinton Joins Twitter (Limerick)

Monday, June 10th, 2013

Hillary Clinton Joins Twitter (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

@HillaryClinton is here
Right on Twitter, so give her a cheer.
Both witty & classy,
Supremely bad-assy
And fearless – a gal without peer.

Mitch’s Knucklehead Pitch (Limerick)

Thursday, March 21st, 2013

I can only assume that when Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell looks in the mirror, he somehow sees a very youthful, attractive fellow. Otherwise he would surely avoid making this ageist, lookist, and sexist jab at Hillary Clinton:

“Finally, don’t tell me that Democrats are the party of the future when their presidential ticket for 2016 is shaping up to look like a rerun of the ‘Golden Girls,’” McConnell said in his morning address to CPAC, drawing laughter and applause.

Mitch’s Knucklehead Pitch (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Someone ought to inform Leader Mitch
Of his party’s new “lure women” pitch:
Saying Hillary C-run
Is Golden Girls rerun
Most likely won’t tempt us to switch.

Limerick Ode To Hillary Haters

Tuesday, January 1st, 2013

Now that Hillary Clinton has been diagnosed with a blood clot in her head, Jeff Greenfield asks an excellent question:

Wonder if those sarcastically doubting Sec. Clinton’s health will have the decency to apologize….I’m not exactly holding my breath.

Limerick Ode To Hillary Haters
By Madeleine Begun Kane

The haters are out to get Hill,
Spewing venom and meanness and swill,
Asserting with shrillness,
“She’s faking her illness!”
Is a blood clot sufficiently ill?

Hillary Clinton — Bombshell?

Monday, May 9th, 2011

By now you’ve surely heard that the Brooklyn-based Hasidic newspaper Der Tzitung “disappeared” Secretary of State Hillary Clinton and another woman from the iconic White House Situation Room photo, taken while the Osama bin Laden attack was going down:

The original photo, taken as the raid was occurring, famously shows Clinton in the center of the room, with her hand over her mouth. But the newspaper Der Tzitung, described by the Jewish Week as “ultra-Orthodox,” has a policy of never printing photos of women in its pages because it thinks they could be sexually suggestive. Thus, Clinton and counterterrorism director Audrey Tomason, who was seen standing at the back of the room, were removed from the picture.

In a non-apology apology, Der Tzitung said in part:

In accord with our religious beliefs, we do not publish photos of women, which in no way relegates them to a lower status. Publishing a newspaper is a big responsibility, and our policies are guided by a Rabbinical Board. Because of laws of modesty, we are not allowed to publish pictures of women, and we regret if this gives an impression of disparaging to women, which is certainly never our intention. We apologize if this was seen as offensive.

Some people may find the following limerick to be offensive. And to them I say, too damn bad!

Hillary Clinton — Bombshell? (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

What a shame that some men are so weak,
They can’t handle so much as a peek
Of a Hillary pic.
Seems they fear that their dick
Can’t withstand her alluring physique.

UPDATE: A very funny take on this same topic.