Mad Kane’s Political Madness

The Philly Inq’s Dick Polman really nails it in his must-read post about John McCain’s  “artful dance with North Carolina Republican leaders, who have fashioned a low-road, anti-Obama advertisement that is slated to air on statewide TV next Monday.”

Commenting on McCain’s political skills and pseudo-piety, he says:

When it comes time to dish the dirt, he keeps his hands clean as he tut-tuts about the incivility of our politics. He looks good doing it – the Washington press generally loves it when he’s in pious mode on the high road – and, meanwhile, he gets to reap the rewards of the dirt being dished. Why pilot your own Swift Boat when it’s so much more attractive to condemn those who do it for you?

And that’s my cue for my Pious John McCain limerick:

Ode To Pious John McCain
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Watch the press fall for pious McCain,
As he calls for a lofty campaign.
They’re so easily spun,
As his dirty work’s done
With an ad he pretends to disdain.

Technorati Tags: John McCain Humor, Presidential Campaign Ads, Election Limerick, Media Humor

Remember when the entire left blogosphere could be counted on to criticize politicians who said one thing and did the opposite? And when hypocrisy was routinely deconstructed and attacked by the left?

I’m talking about the pre-Obama-cult days, of course.  A time when the sort of behavior described here, here, here and here wouldn’t have been countenanced (let alone encouraged) by half the left blogosphere. Those were the days, my friend. (McCain Trademark Pending)

And that brings me to the first of my latest pair of limericks:

Dear Obama, please tell us all why
You keep doing the stuff you decry.
Cuz the “high road” you claim
Sure is littered with shame,
As you peddle your DC change lie.

My second new limerick was inspired by Obama’s slick habit of conflating the GWB and Bill Clinton presidencies by referring to decades in discussing this nation’s problems.  Instead of pinpointing the horrendous Bush years, Obama blithely tarnishes the Democratic brand with that plural decades reference.  

Why does he do this? Apparently it’s Obama who will do whatever it takes to win.  And that includes making sure Hillary doesn’t get credit by association for the relatively prosperous and peaceful Nineties.

That brings me to today’s second limerick:

Obama cites “decades” of ills,
Conflating the Bush years with Bill’s.
He’ll hurt the Dem brand
By playing that hand,
Leading voters to run for the hills.

Technorati Tags: Barack Obama Hypocrisy, Democratic Brand, Left Blogosphere, Presidential Election Humor, Campaign Satire

What did we learn from last night’s debate?  That (unlike Hillary Clinton) Barack Obama falls apart when he finally encounters a hostile press. 

As the Philadelphia Inquirer’s Dick Polman observes, Obama was “shaken, rattled and rolled” at the ABC debate.  So, is this the kind of candidate you want opposing John “Media Pal” McCain in the general election? 

And that brings me to my latest limerick:

Dear Barack Obama: Last Night Is What Happens When You Drink Your Own Kool-Aid
By Madeleine Begun Kane

The man with the tongue made of gold
Under pressure last night seemed to fold.
His supporters excuse him—
Claim press guys abuse him.
Words matter. Barack’s? Oversold!

Technorati Tags: ABC Pennsylvania Presidential Debate, Senator Obama, Election Humor, Campaign Satire, Senator Clinton, Hostile Press, Senator McCain

John McCain has been having a tough time raising campaign money lately.  So I thought I’d help out with a McCain campaign slogan haiku — gratis. Aren’t I generous?

Remember Bush’s
Humble foreign policy?
Vote McCain for more.

Technorati Tags: Senator McCain, Presidential Campaign Verse

Wow!  Even Don “McCain Worshipper” Imus can’t stand it any more. I just heard Imus tell Craig Crawford:

If he says “my friends” one more time, I’m gonna kill myself.

I think it’s time for a haiku:

A candidate
Who can’t stop saying “my friends,”
Doesn’t have any.

Technorati Tags: Senator McCain, Don Imus, Craig Crawford, Media Humor, Campaign Satire,  Election Humor, My Friends, Presidential Election Humor

Apparently, maverick is a synonym for felon.  Who knew?

Ode To John “Maverick” McCain
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A law breaker — that’s John McCain,
Treating FEC regs with disdain.
Having championed those rules,
He plays us for fools.
Yet we still hear the mav’rick refrain.

Technorati Tags: Senator John McCain Humor, McCain Maverick Satire, Election Humor, Campaign Satire, FEC Humor, White House Humor, Media Humor

Presidential Election Blues
By Madeleine Begun Kane

While pundits bloviate,
Candidates exaggerate,
Flirt with fourth estate
And would-be running mate.

They travel multi-state,
Wooing pools of voter-bait.
Think the Oval’s their fate.
Hardly ever talk straight.

Their resumes inflate.
They claim opponents don’t rate.
Prez debates?  Not great.
November 5th —  can’t wait!

Technorati Tags: Campaign Satire, Presidential Election Humor, White House Poetry

The left blogosphere has been packed with stories about John “Foreign Policy Maven”  McCain’s serial gaffes, in which he confused Islam’s Sunni and Shiite sects while trying to prove Iran supports al-Qaeda in Iraq. His gaffes were so bad, even über-loyalist Joe Lieberman was forced to correct him.

So, can we expect major media columnists and talking heads to question McCain’s foreign policy prowess?  A small handful of fair-minded, insightful columnists like the Philadelphia Inquirer’s Dick Polman can be counted on at moments like this.   But in the main, I wouldn’t hold your breath.

And that brings me to my latest limerick: 

Ode To “Foreign Policy Maven” McCain
By Madeleine Begun Kane

John McCain’s expertise ain’t legit:
Sunni? Shiite? He doesn’t know shit.
So the man should be toast.
But the press let’s him coast
Cuz he’s great in a barbecue pit.

(For more humor on this topic, check out Joe Lieberman Has To Remind McCain He’s Not In Vietnam, by Don Davis.)

Technorati Tags: Senator John McCain, Foreign Policy Expertise, Sunni, Shiite, Islam, McCain Barbecue, McCain Gaffes, al-Qaeda, Iran, Campaign Satire, Election Humor, Media Humor

Calling audience questioners ”jerks,” is far from John McCain’s worse flaw.  But now that he’s done it at least twice, I thought I’d write the testy, warmongering Senator a limerick:

Ode To John “You Little Jerk” McCain
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Among John McCain’s irksome quirks
Is his habit of calling guys jerks
For presenting a query
Of which John is leery—
Still less galling than George Dubya’s smirks.

Technorati Tags: Senator John McCain, Presidential Race Humor, Little Jerk, Campaign Satire, Election Humor

On April 1, 2007 U.S. Senators John McCain and Lindsey Graham held a press conference in Iraq, in which Sen. Graham rhapsodized about buying “five rugs for five bucks” in a Baghdad marketplace. This was part of their joint effort to convince the American people that the war in Iraq is going far better than the media would lead us to believe.

And that brings me to my latest limerick:

Merchants Of Hype
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Five rugs for five bucks!  What a deal!
Baghdad-shopping for Graham’s quite a steal.
Now I’m sold on the war
Cause I know what it’s for:
It’s to carpet Graham’s home.  How surreal! 

=========

And now some links, for your reading (and viewing) pleasure:
* Bush U.S. Attorney Disgraced by Appeals Court for Sham Prosecution of Innocent Woman (Buzzflash Analysis)
* Romney’s Fatal Admission: ‘I Hunted Gays Only Twice’
* Mitt Shoots Himself In The Foot
* Caution: Genius At Work
* what are friends for, if not to bomb little upstart arabic countries?
* The Talking Dog Interviews Marc Falkoff, co-counsel to 17 Yemenis held at Guantanamo
* Levin Shows The Dems Cards

Technorati Tags: Lindsey Graham, Five Rugs For Five Bucks, John McCain, Iraq capitalism, Baghdad Marketplace, Baghdad Shopping, Iraq War Satire, Blog Publicity, Linky Love, Skippy, Don Davis, Shakesville, Booman, OneGoodMove, Levin, Romney

Bush is still rejecting the idea of bilateral talks with North Korea, claiming that they failed to work during Bill Clinton’s administration. Meanwhile, Bush’s flame throwing surrogate, John McCain, says North Korea’s nuclear test, conducted nearly six years into Dubya’s presidency, is Bill Clinton’s fault.  So, does that mean Monica was Bush Sr.’s fault?

And that brings me to my latest haiku:

The Buck Stops … On Clinton? (Haiku)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

North Korea’s nukes
Are Clinton’s fault, claims McCain.
Bill’s still Prez?  Who knew?

Update: Right after John “Straight Talk” McCain’s finger pointing, McCain blasted people for North Korea related finger pointing.

Technorati Tags: Bilateral Talks, Nuclear Tests, Nuclear Technology, Senator McCain, President Clinton, North Korea Sanctions