Archive for the ‘John McCain’ Category

I Spy Hypocrisy (Limerick)

Thursday, March 13th, 2014

Some of the USA’s most ardent defenders of our ever-growing surveillance state (Lindsey Graham, Diane Feinstein, John McCain) are suddenly up in arms about domestic spying. Why? Cuz this time it’s PERSONAL!

For instance:

In response to accusations that the Central Intelligence Agency has snooped on Senate computers, Graham went bonkers, telling reporters on Tuesday that “Heads should roll, people should go to jail if it’s true.”

I Spy Hypocrisy (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Though Senators failed to condemn
Our rampant surveillance, or stem
All the government spying,
They’re suddenly crying,
Cuz the CIA’s spying on the THEM!

R U Proud Of Yourself, McCain? (Limerick)

Thursday, September 19th, 2013

After the New York Times published Putin’s op ed column, Senator McCain decided to one-up him by writing an opinion piece for Pravda (the official paper of the Russian Communist Party.) Unfortunately, he didn’t realize there are two Pravdas. Even more unfortunately, McCain ended up being published in the wrong Pravda.

Pravda.ru, the news outlet that actually published McCain’s piece, is an electronic news website founded in 1999. Even though the website also bears the name Pravda, it is not connected to Pravda newspaper. The website has English and Russian editions and covers everything from politics to fashion and celebrities.

R U Proud Of Yourself, McCain? (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

There’s someone on John McCain’s staff
Who made an embarrassing gaffe:
His haste he shall rue—
Pravda-r-u won’t do
For a piece by McCain. What a laugh!

John McCain’s Bad Messaging (Limerick)

Tuesday, June 18th, 2013

Dear John McCain:

For a just a moment, I thought you had a valid grievance concerning the Obama White House use of “secret” e-mail addresses. Then I found out that you use one too. Plus … I can’t seem to recall your complaining about their widespread use by the Bush/Cheney White House.

John McCain’s Bad Messaging (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

“Secret email accounts” fuel distrust,
Gripes McCain of Obama. Sound just?
But hypocrisy rears:
Seems McCain and his peers
In the GOP find them a must.

Limerick Ode To McCain, The Conciliator

Tuesday, January 22nd, 2013

Republican pols, most notably John McCain, didn’t find Obama’s second inaugural address sufficiently conciliatory. Here’s McCain:

“There was very little reaching out to the other side,” he said. “It was a fine speech, but I didn’t hear any conciliatory remarks. I didn’t see any specific reference like, ‘I reach out my hand to the other side of the aisle.’ “

Limerick Ode To McCain, The Conciliator
By Madeleine Begun Kane

As Obama’s Inaugural wraps,
John McCain now complains of a lapse:
Just where in the speech
Does the President reach
Cross the aisle to invite some more slaps?

Rice Madness (Limerick)

Thursday, November 29th, 2012

Republican Senators John McCain, Lindsey Graham and Kelly Ayotte have a seemingly irrational vendetta against U.N. Ambassador Susan Rice, centering on Benghazi. What explains it? Well, Rachel Maddow has a fascinating theory, which Mark Karlin buys, as do I.

Here’s how the theory works:

1) Republicans are lusting after John Kerry’s Senate seat, eying it for soon-to-be ex-Senator Scott Brown.

2) Kerry and Rice are the only contenders for Secretary of State.

3) If Kerry gets State, he has to give up his seat, and Brown has a good shot at winning a special election to replace him.

4) Rice is standing in Kerry’s way, so she must be eliminated by the McCain/Graham/Ayotte trio.

In other words:

Rice Madness (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

If Obama gives State to John Kerry
The GOP’s bound to be merry:
Scott Brown can then run
For John’s seat. Oh what fun!
This explains why they’ll Susan Rice bury.

A Tragic Limerick Ode To John McCain

Sunday, December 19th, 2010

If John McCain hadn’t done quite so much damage to our nation, I could almost feel sorry for him. After all, it’s hard not to pity a man who’s turned into a pathetic shell of a human being.

McCain’s Don’t Ask Don’t Tell repeal temper tantrum is only the latest example of the sad, ugly person that McCain’s become:

A Tragic Limerick Ode To John McCain
By Madeleine Begun Kane

John McCain seems embittered and mean,
Acting worse than a badly raised teen.
His convictions? No more!
Just conniptions galore.
He’s lost heart, and he’s left with just spleen.

Kick-Ass Limerick

Thursday, June 10th, 2010

The language police are at it again. Republicans and Fox News (sorry to be redundant) are simply horrified at President Obama’s “unpresidential” language.

What are they so pretend-upset about? Obama used the word ass in response to Matt Lauer’s oil crisis question about kicking butt.

Apparently this is extremely shocking to the same folks who had no problem with f**ks from Bush, Cheney, and McCain.

That brings me to my latest limerick:

Kick-Ass Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane

The Republicans’ delicate ears
Are offended by ass, it appears.
F**k is fine from McCain,
Bush, and Cheney — that’s plain.
But ass from Barack begets jeers.

John McCain — Ignoramus, Liar, Or Terrorist Sympathizer?

Wednesday, May 5th, 2010

My husband Mark and I live in New York City and frequently dine and see plays in the Times Square area. In fact, had the two of us not been so exhausted from our Las Vegas vacation, that’s where we probably would have been Saturday night. Perhaps that’s why I’m especially offended by John McCain’s apparent desire to undermine the prosecution of alleged terrorists.

What am I talking about? McCain said it would be a “serious mistake” if car bombing suspect Faisal Shahzad, a naturalized American citizen, was Mirandized.

I’m sorry, but the only way Mirandizing Shahzad would be a mistake is if your goal is to taint the evidence, get it thrown out of court, and lose the damn case.

And that brings me to my latest two-verse limerick:

John McCain — Ignoramus, Liar, Or Terrorist Sympathizer?
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Shahzad was Mirandized. Oh my!
Cue McCain and his pandering lie.
To warn him was wrong—
That’s McCain’s specious song.
He malpractices law on the fly.

For Miranda’s a citizen’s right.
Fail to warn him? You’re in for a fight.
Cuz evidence gotten
That way is deemed rotten.
Acquittal is what you invite.

Ode To John “Pants On Fire” McCain

Monday, April 5th, 2010

Dear Senator McCain: Pretending to be a maverick is bad enough. But pretending that you never pretended to be a maverick? That’s just silly!

Yes, it’s hard to believe, but McCain’s response to J.D. Hayworth’s primary challenge from the right is to say, “I never considered myself a maverick.” Of course, that would be a bit more convincing had McCain not, among other things, released a 2008 presidential campaign ad calling himself the “original maverick.”

That brings me to my latest two-verse limerick:

Ode To John “Pants On Fire” McCain
By Madeleine Begun Kane

There once was a man named McCain,
The Republicans’ “maverick” bane.
He wore the term proudly
And touted it loudly.
But now it’s a primary pain.

So he’s claiming he never did use it,
Though we know that he’d often abuse it.
But he’s feeling the sting
Of the nutty right-wing,
So with lies he’s attempting to lose it.

Addled Threats

Monday, March 22nd, 2010

Now that health reform has passed, Republicans are angrier than ever. Mitt Romney calls it an “unconscionable abuse of power” and Bill Kristol is urging repeal in a Weekly Standard editorial. Moreover, Senators John McCain, Judd Gregg and their fellow GOPers are so incensed that they’ve come up with a very creative threat:

GOP senators emerged Monday to caution that the health debate had taken a toll on the institution, warning of little work between parties the rest of this year.

“There will be no cooperation for the rest of the year,” McCain said during an interview Monday on an Arizona radio affiliate. “They have poisoned the well in what they’ve done and how they’ve done it.”

Wow! The next thing you know, Republicans will be vowing to filibuster and obstruct.

And that brings me to my latest limerick:

Addled Threats
By Madeleine Begun Kane

The GOP’s angry as hell.
Says McCain, Dems have “poisoned the well.”
So the rest of the year
We won’t work with them here.
And how is that diff’rent? Do tell!

     

********

I proud to say that this post is mentioned in the excellent
Health Wonk Review: Special Edition On Health Reform.

J.D. Hayworth’s Marriage Menagerie

Tuesday, March 16th, 2010

J.D. Hayworth, in an effort to out-wingnut John McCain in Arizona’s Senatorial primary, is claiming that legalized same-sex marriage can lead to man-horse nuptials. This is what he had to say during his Rick Santorum-like “man on dog” moment:

You see, the Massachusetts Supreme Court, when it started this move toward same-sex marriage, actually defined marriage — now get this — it defined marriage as simply, “the establishment of intimacy.” Now how dangerous is that? I mean, I don’t mean to be absurd about it, but I guess I can make the point of absurdity with an absurd point — I guess that would mean if you really had affection for your horse, I guess you could marry your horse.

Now I’m very happily married to a human male right now. But just in case it doesn’t work out, I think this is wonderful news:

Hayworth’s Marriage Menagerie (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Would you like to be wed to a cat?
Or a horse, or a dog, or a bat?
Or even an ass?
Simply move out to Mass.
Hayworth says it’s okay. So that’s that.

Ode To Pro-Rape Republicans

Friday, October 9th, 2009

Thirty Senate Republicans voted to keep rape victims who work for defense contractors from having their day in court. How? By voting against an Al Franken-proposed amendment to the 2010 Defense Appropriations Bill that would withhold defense contracts from companies (like Dick Cheney’s KBR) “if they restrict their employees from taking workplace sexual assault, battery and discrimination cases to court.”

Franken was inspired to sponsor this amendment by the ordeal of Jamie Leigh Jones, who was gang-raped by her co-workers while working for Halliburton/KBR in Baghdad. A clause in Jones’ KBR employment contract made employer-friendly private arbitration her only recourse, precluding Jones from seeking justice in court.

I hope all those pro-rape Republicans (listed below my limerick) are proud of themselves:

Ode To Pro-Rape Republicans (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Though Republicans yearn for support
From females, they’re bound to fall short:
Their position on rape
Is in criminal shape
Cuz they treat it like less than a tort.

Here’s the list of the thirty pro-rape Republican Senators:
Lamar Alexander (R-TN) John Barrasso (R-WY) Christopher Bond (R-MO) Sam Brownback (R-KS) Jim Bunning (R-KY) Richard Burr (R-NC) Saxby Chambliss (R-GA) Tom Coburn (R-OK) Thad Cochran (R-MS) Bob Corker (R-TN) John Cornyn (R-TX) Mike Crapo (R-ID) Jim DeMint (R-SC) John Ensign (R-NV) Michael Enzi (R-WY) Lindsey Graham (R-SC) Judd Gregg (R-NH) James Inhofe (R-OK) Johnny Isakson (R-GA) Mike Johanns (R-NE) Jon Kyl (R-AZ) John McCain (R-AZ) Mitch McConnell (R-KY) James Risch (R-ID) Pat Roberts (R-KS) Jeff Sessions (R-AL) Richard Shelby (R-AL) John Thune (R-SD) David Vitter (R-LA) Roger Wicker (R-MS)

Ode To Fresh Faces

Friday, May 8th, 2009

Ode To Fresh Faces
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Republican planning is plain.
They want to rebrand, they explain.
So on Sunday’s TV
New faces we’ll see:
Folks like Cheney and Newt and McCain.

Celebratory Limerick

Wednesday, November 5th, 2008

Congratulations to Senators Obama and Biden. An historic election has come to a wonderful conclusion:

Celebratory Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Dear Obama, congrats on your win.
You have done it.  You’ve won it.  You’re in!
Now your job will be tough.
(Please don’t take any guff.)
Let the national healing begin!

An Obsessive’s Lament

Sunday, November 2nd, 2008

An Obsessive’s Lament (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Writing verse about Palin’s been fun.
But enough!  I must know who has won.
Although something disturbs me,
Alarms and perturbs me:
Just what shall I do when it’s done?

McCain & Palin: The Not Ready For Prime Time Duo

Wednesday, October 29th, 2008

Whenever John McCain is asked about Sarah Palin’s qualifications, he falls back on the paternal-sounding (and condescending) “I couldn’t be more proud” of Palin response.  But something tells me he doesn’t use the word “proud” in private:

McCain & Palin: The Not Ready For Prime Time Duo
By Madeleine Begun Kane

There’s a ticket that can’t get along
Cuz the chemistry’s totally wrong.
John may claim to be proud
Of Gov. Palin out loud.
But his eyes say, “Give Sarah the gong!”

Just Call It The McPettiness Express

Monday, October 27th, 2008

I’m a bit late on this.  But I was amused to read that Joe Klein has suffered the same fate as Maureen Dowd — banishment from the McCain / Palin planes:

Just Call It The McPettiness Express
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Beware of the wrath of McCain.
If you’re mean you’ll be barred from his plane.
You’ll join Klein and Mo Dowd –
That non-patriot crowd.
Wave goodbye to the “straight talk” campaign.

Where’s My Personal Shopper?

Thursday, October 23rd, 2008

After seeing Sarah Palin prance around in so much stylish, pricey-looking apparel, I wrongly assumed Alaska was so sort of fashion Mecca.  But sorry, Alaska.  It turns out that Palin’s $150K wardrobe hails from Saks Fifth Avenue in St. Louis and New York and Neiman Marcus in Minneapolis, all courtesy of the RNC and personal shopper Jeff Larson.

So here’s what I want to know:  Does John McCain’s tax plan provide a $150K tax credit for personal shoppers?

Where’s My Personal Shopper?
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Gov. Palin, you’re taking some heat
For your clothing which, granted, is neat.
But with budgets austere
Why wear clothing so dear?
And just who are you calling elite?

I’m A McPalin Haiku Hysteria Finalist

Tuesday, October 21st, 2008

Cool news!  Nearly 4000 people submitted haiku to the McPalin Haiku Hysteria contest held by People For The American Way and The Nation Magazine.  And I’m one of the twelve finalists!!!  So I’d really appreciate your voting for my haiku here. The three winning haiku will be published in The Nation.

We were allowed to submit up to three haiku, and here are the three I submitted.  (The first one is the haiku that made the finals.)

Palin knows nothing
About the Constitution.
Puppets don’t have to.

An anti-choice veep
Who opposes free rape kits?
Thanks, John, but no thanks.

Would Palin court picks
Destroy the Constitution?
You betcha! Wink, wink.

Ode To John “Air-Quotes” McCain

Thursday, October 16th, 2008

Sarcastic air-quotes around “health” in “health of the mother”? Who the hell uses sarcastic air-quotes anymore … let alone when referring to women’s health? Big mistake, Senator McCain!

Which reminds me — during last night’s debate I had a revelation about the gravitas-test versus the guy-you’d-enjoy-having-a-beer-with-test.  In this year’s election, gravitas-guy (Obama)  is also the fellow I’d enjoy having a beer with … if only I liked beer:

Ode To John “Air-Quotes” McCain
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Many voters ask:  Whose views are best,
As opposed to the drinking-pal test.
But whichever the measure,
Obama’s my pleasure.
McCain?  He’s a cranky old pest.