Archive for the ‘John McCain’ Category
Tuesday, March 16th, 2010
J.D. Hayworth, in an effort to out-wingnut John McCain in Arizona’s Senatorial primary, is claiming that legalized same-sex marriage can lead to man-horse nuptials. This is what he had to say during his Rick Santorum-like “man on dog” moment:
You see, the Massachusetts Supreme Court, when it started this move toward same-sex marriage, actually defined marriage — now get this — it defined marriage as simply, “the establishment of intimacy.” Now how dangerous is that? I mean, I don’t mean to be absurd about it, but I guess I can make the point of absurdity with an absurd point — I guess that would mean if you really had affection for your horse, I guess you could marry your horse.
Now I’m very happily married to a human male right now. But just in case it doesn’t work out, I think this is wonderful news:
Hayworth’s Marriage Menagerie (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Would you like to be wed to a cat?
Or a horse, or a dog, or a bat?
Or even an ass?
Simply move out to Mass.
Hayworth says it’s okay. So that’s that.
Tags: Animals Satire, Arizona, Bestiality Humor, Gay Marriage, Homosexuality Satire, J.D. Hayworth, John McCain, Judiciary Humor, Law Humor, Massachusetts, Nuptials Humor, Rick Santorum, Same Sex Marriage
Posted in Gay Rights, Homophobia, John McCain, Judiciary Satire, Law Satire, Legal Limericks, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Wingnuts | 4 Comments »
Friday, May 8th, 2009
Ode To Fresh Faces
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Republican planning is plain.
They want to rebrand, they explain.
So on Sunday’s TV
New faces we’ll see:
Folks like Cheney and Newt and McCain.
Tags: Cheney, Face The Nation, Fox News Sunday, Gingrich, McCain, Media, Rebranding, Republican Rebranding, Stephanopoulos, Talk Shows, Television, TV
Posted in Dick Cheney Satire, Fox News Humor, GOP Humor, John McCain, Media Satire, Newt Gingrich Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, Television (TV) Satire | 5 Comments »
Wednesday, November 5th, 2008
Congratulations to Senators Obama and Biden. An historic election has come to a wonderful conclusion:
Celebratory Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Dear Obama, congrats on your win.
You have done it. You’ve won it. You’re in!
Now your job will be tough.
(Please don’t take any guff.)
Let the national healing begin!
Tags: Biden, Campaign, Celebrations, Election, History, Limericks, McCain, Obama, Verse
Posted in 44 Humor, Barack Obama, Campaign Humor, Election Satire, Joe Biden, John McCain, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Sarah Palin | 4 Comments »
Sunday, November 2nd, 2008
An Obsessive’s Lament (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Writing verse about Palin’s been fun.
But enough! I must know who has won.
Although something disturbs me,
Alarms and perturbs me:
Just what shall I do when it’s done?
Tags: Campaign, Election, Election Results, Humor, McCain, Mental Health, Obsession, Obsessives, Palin, Poem, Presidential Election, Satire, Verse, Winners
Posted in Barack Obama, Campaign Humor, Election Satire, John McCain, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Sarah Palin | 1 Comment »
Wednesday, October 29th, 2008
Whenever John McCain is asked about Sarah Palin’s qualifications, he falls back on the paternal-sounding (and condescending) “I couldn’t be more proud” of Palin response. But something tells me he doesn’t use the word “proud” in private:
McCain & Palin: The Not Ready For Prime Time Duo
By Madeleine Begun Kane
There’s a ticket that can’t get along
Cuz the chemistry’s totally wrong.
John may claim to be proud
Of Gov. Palin out loud.
But his eyes say, “Give Sarah the gong!”
Tags: Campaign, Election, GOP, Humor, Limericks, McCain, Palin, Presidential, Prime Time, Republicans Humor, Satire, Verse
Posted in Campaign Humor, Election Satire, GOP Humor, John McCain, Political Limericks, Republicans Humor, Sarah Palin | 1 Comment »
Monday, October 27th, 2008
I’m a bit late on this. But I was amused to read that Joe Klein has suffered the same fate as Maureen Dowd — banishment from the McCain / Palin planes:
Just Call It The McPettiness Express
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Beware of the wrath of McCain.
If you’re mean you’ll be barred from his plane.
You’ll join Klein and Mo Dowd –
That non-patriot crowd.
Wave goodbye to the “straight talk” campaign.
Tags: Campaign, Election, Humor, Joe Klein, Maureen Dowd, McCain, Media, Patriots, Pettiness, Planes, Press, Satire, Straight Talk Express, Transportation
Posted in Campaign Humor, Election Satire, John McCain, Media Satire, Political Limericks, Sarah Palin | No Comments »
Thursday, October 23rd, 2008
After seeing Sarah Palin prance around in so much stylish, pricey-looking apparel, I wrongly assumed Alaska was so sort of fashion Mecca. But sorry, Alaska. It turns out that Palin’s $150K wardrobe hails from Saks Fifth Avenue in St. Louis and New York and Neiman Marcus in Minneapolis, all courtesy of the RNC and personal shopper Jeff Larson.
So here’s what I want to know: Does John McCain’s tax plan provide a $150K tax credit for personal shoppers?
Where’s My Personal Shopper?
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Gov. Palin, you’re taking some heat
For your clothing which, granted, is neat.
But with budgets austere
Why wear clothing so dear?
And just who are you calling elite?
Tags: Campaign Satire, Election Humor, Elite, Governor Palin, Jeff Larson, Neiman Marcus, Personal Shopper, Pricey Clothing, Republican National Committee, RNC, Saks Fifth Avenue, Sarah Palin Wardrobe, Senator McCain, Tax Credit
Posted in Campaign Humor, Economy Humor, Election Satire, Fiscal Policy, GOP Humor, John McCain, Political Limericks, RNC Humor, Sarah Palin, Tax & Budget Humor | 1 Comment »
Tuesday, October 21st, 2008
Cool news! Nearly 4000 people submitted haiku to the McPalin Haiku Hysteria contest held by People For The American Way and The Nation Magazine. And I’m one of the twelve finalists!!! So I’d really appreciate your voting for my haiku here. The three winning haiku will be published in The Nation.
We were allowed to submit up to three haiku, and here are the three I submitted. (The first one is the haiku that made the finals.)
Palin knows nothing
About the Constitution.
Puppets don’t have to.
An anti-choice veep
Who opposes free rape kits?
Thanks, John, but no thanks.
Would Palin court picks
Destroy the Constitution?
You betcha! Wink, wink.
Tags: Campaign Satire, Constitution Verse, Election Humor, Haiku Contest, Nation Magazine, Palin Haiku, People For The American Way, PFAW Contest
Posted in Campaign Humor, Constitution Humor, Election Satire, John McCain, News Haiku & Senryu, Political Haiku & Senryu, Political Verse, Sarah Palin | 4 Comments »
Thursday, October 16th, 2008
Sarcastic air-quotes around “health” in “health of the mother”? Who the hell uses sarcastic air-quotes anymore … let alone when referring to women’s health? Big mistake, Senator McCain!
Which reminds me — during last night’s debate I had a revelation about the gravitas-test versus the guy-you’d-enjoy-having-a-beer-with-test. In this year’s election, gravitas-guy (Obama) is also the fellow I’d enjoy having a beer with … if only I liked beer:
Ode To John “Air-Quotes” McCain
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Many voters ask: Whose views are best,
As opposed to the drinking-pal test.
But whichever the measure,
Obama’s my pleasure.
McCain? He’s a cranky old pest.
Tags: Air Quotes, Campaign Satire, Debate Limerick, Drinking Pals, Election Humor, McCain Verse, Mother's Health, Obama poem, Presidential Election, Sarcasm, Women's Health
Posted in Abortion Rights, Barack Obama, Campaign Humor, Debate Humor, Election Satire, Feminism Humor, Gender Politics, Health Satire, John McCain, Social Satire | 2 Comments »
Tuesday, October 14th, 2008
My mother-in-law
Thinks Obama is Muslim —
Likes McCain. Oy vey!
Tags: McCain Verse, Mothers-in-law Humor, Muslim Haiku, Obama Haiku, Relatives Humor, Yiddish Humor
Posted in Barack Obama, General Humor, John McCain, News Haiku & Senryu | No Comments »
Thursday, October 9th, 2008
Team Of Liars
By Madeleine Begun Kane
The McCain/Palin team now is rife
With liars, including John’s wife.
So it’s surely no shock
They’re defaming Barack.
As McCain might say: John, get a life!
Tags: Campaign Satire, Cindy McCain, Defamation, Election Humor, Governor Palin, Obama Verse, Presidential Campaign Humor, Senator McCain
Posted in Barack Obama, Campaign Humor, Election Satire, GOP Humor, John McCain, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Sarah Palin | 8 Comments »
Wednesday, October 8th, 2008
Here’s what I learned from the second presidential debate: If (heaven forbid) Election 2008 has to be resolved in court, the title of the case will be McCain v. That One.
Tags: Campaign Satire, Debate Snark, Election Humor, McCain Temper, Obama Debate, That One
Posted in Barack Obama, Campaign Humor, Debate Humor, Election Satire, John McCain, Uncategorized | No Comments »
Tuesday, October 7th, 2008
It’s not easy to make Rudy Giuliani look like a class act. But both McCain and Palin have managed to do it quite handily. While Rudy (on at least one occasion) had the decency to chide an audience member for connecting Democrats with terrorists, McCain and Palin apparently feel no such compunction. Why do I say that? Because they greet anti-Obama audience-shouts like “Treason,” “Terrorist!” and “Kill!” with silence.
McCain And Palin Make Rudy Look Like A Class Act
By Madeleine Begun Kane
John McCain, I sure hope that you’re proud:
You and Palin prompt rage in a crowd.
Your supporters shout swill:
“Treason!” “Terrorist!” “Kill!”
Even Rudy would say: Not allowed!
Tags: Campaign Satire, Crowd Rage, Democrats, Election Humor, Giuliani Limerick, McCain Verse, Palin Poem, Presidential Campaign, Senator Obama, Terrorists, Treason
Posted in Barack Obama, Campaign Humor, Election Satire, GOP Humor, John McCain, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Rudy Giuliani, Sarah Palin | 1 Comment »
Tuesday, October 7th, 2008
Ode To Attack Dog Palin (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Palin proudly proclaims “I don’t blink!”
(Doesn’t count when it’s merely a wink.)
She attacks with a smile,
Throwing lies cross the aisle —
Slimes Barack as a terrorist fink.
Tags: Attack Dog Politics, Blinks, Campaign Satire, Election Humor, Obama Verse, Presidential Campaign, Sarah Palin Limerick, Terrorism, Winks
Posted in Barack Obama, Campaign Humor, Debate Humor, Election Satire, John McCain, Political Verse, Sarah Palin, Uncategorized | 1 Comment »
Tuesday, October 7th, 2008
Sarah Palin Passes Her Reading Test
By Madeleine Begun Kane
To those who say Palin was best,
I’ll concede she debated with zest.
But she read off her notes
All night long, so your votes
Are based on an open book test.
Tags: Biden / Palin Debate, Campaign Satire, Debate Notes, Election Humor, McCain's VP Pick, Open Book Tests, Palin Humor
Posted in Campaign Humor, Debate Humor, Election Satire, John McCain, Sarah Palin, Uncategorized | 1 Comment »
Monday, October 6th, 2008
At first, I was amused by John McCain’s bitter-sounding “life isn’t fair” remark.
Asked why Obama has been rising as the Wall Street crisis has dominated attention, McCain said with a chuckle on Fox News Channel: “Because life isn’t fair.”
But on second thought, I’ve decided McCain is right:
Finally, A McCain Statement I Can Agree With
By Madeleine Begun Kane
McCain’s very wrong about war
And on health care and taxes and more.
But he’s right (though it’s rare)
With his “life isn’t fair,”
Cuz what else could explain Bush v. Gore?
Tags: Bush v. Gore, Campaign Satire, Election Humor, Health Care, Legal Humor, Life Isn't Fair, Presidential Election, Senator McCain Humor, Senator Obama, Taxes, War
Posted in Barack Obama, Campaign Humor, Election Satire, GOP Humor, George Bush Satire, John McCain, Law Satire, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, Supreme Court | 5 Comments »
Tuesday, September 23rd, 2008
While Congress is caught up in the Wall Street bail-out proposal, the presidential candidates are preparing for Friday’s foreign policy debate. What will McCain focus on … after boning up on Spain’s location? Working his surge-centric attack on Obama’s judgment into every answer, no matter what the question:
McCain’s Memory Purge
By Madeleine Begun kane
Please beware of McCain’s mem’ry purge.
He was wrong on Iraq, so this scourge
Proves his judgment was poor.
He cheer-led the war
Which did not get its start with the surge.[tags]Campaign Satire, Election Humor, Presidential Debates, Foreign Policy Humor, McCain Limerick, Iraq War, Judgment Humor, Surge Poem[/tags]
Posted in Campaign Humor, Debate Humor, Election Satire, Foreign Policy, GOP Humor, Iraq War Humor, John McCain, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, White House | 1 Comment »
Ode To Pro-Rape Republicans
Friday, October 9th, 2009Thirty Senate Republicans voted to keep rape victims who work for defense contractors from having their day in court. How? By voting against an Al Franken-proposed amendment to the 2010 Defense Appropriations Bill that would withhold defense contracts from companies (like Dick Cheney’s KBR) “if they restrict their employees from taking workplace sexual assault, battery and discrimination cases to court.”
Franken was inspired to sponsor this amendment by the ordeal of Jamie Leigh Jones, who was gang-raped by her co-workers while working for Halliburton/KBR in Baghdad. A clause in Jones’ KBR employment contract made employer-friendly private arbitration her only recourse, precluding Jones from seeking justice in court.
I hope all those pro-rape Republicans (listed below my limerick) are proud of themselves:
Ode To Pro-Rape Republicans (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Though Republicans yearn for support
From females, they’re bound to fall short:
Their position on rape
Is in criminal shape
Cuz they treat it like less than a tort.
Here’s the list of the thirty pro-rape Republican Senators:
Lamar Alexander (R-TN) John Barrasso (R-WY) Christopher Bond (R-MO) Sam Brownback (R-KS) Jim Bunning (R-KY) Richard Burr (R-NC) Saxby Chambliss (R-GA) Tom Coburn (R-OK) Thad Cochran (R-MS) Bob Corker (R-TN) John Cornyn (R-TX) Mike Crapo (R-ID) Jim DeMint (R-SC) John Ensign (R-NV) Michael Enzi (R-WY) Lindsey Graham (R-SC) Judd Gregg (R-NH) James Inhofe (R-OK) Johnny Isakson (R-GA) Mike Johanns (R-NE) Jon Kyl (R-AZ) John McCain (R-AZ) Mitch McConnell (R-KY) James Risch (R-ID) Pat Roberts (R-KS) Jeff Sessions (R-AL) Richard Shelby (R-AL) John Thune (R-SD) David Vitter (R-LA) Roger Wicker (R-MS)
Tags: Al Franken, Appropriations Bill, Defense Contractors, Employee Lawsuits, Employment Contracts, Feminist, Halliburton, Jamie Leigh Jones, KBR, Rape Victims, Republican Senators, Sexual Assault
Posted in Al Franken, Crime, Dick Cheney Satire, Feminism Humor, GOP Humor, Gender Politics, Inhofe Humor, James DeMint, Jeff Sessions, John Ensign, John McCain, Judd Gregg, Law Satire, Legal Limericks, National Security Humor, Political Commentary, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, Senate Satire | 10 Comments »