Archive for the ‘Iowa Humor’ Category

Trump Trumped In Iowa (Limerick)

Tuesday, February 2nd, 2016

I’m certain “The Donald” is mad.
He’s a “LOSER” to Cruz, and I’d add,
More embarrassing yet
Is his delegate net;
It did NOT exceed Marco’s. Poor lad!

Yes, not only did Cruz beat Trump by 3.3 percent, but Marco Rubio was only 1.2 percent behind Trump, tying him in terms of delegate yields:

Ted Cruz’s victory in the Iowa caucuses means he’ll collect eight delegates to the Republican National Convention.

Donald Trump and Marco Rubio each get seven from the opening contest in the 2016 presidential race.

Palin Goes “Rogue” With Trump (Limerick)

Tuesday, January 19th, 2016

Sarah Palin’s and Donald’s toxicity
Are now linked. What a dose of duplicity!
She endorsed him in Ames;
Trump is great, so she claims,
But I’ll bet she’s just starved for publicity.

No More Grasping At Straws (Limerick)

Friday, June 12th, 2015

The Iowa GOP Board
Found its straw poll was being ignored
And disdained — even mocked.
So I sure wasn’t shocked
By its vote to at last cut the cord.

King-Sized Exploitation (Limerick)

Wednesday, April 17th, 2013

Rep. Steve King (R–Iowa) is a perfect example of how NOT to react to the Boston bombings. According to the fence and deportation-loving Steve King, the mere possibility that the bomber(s) might be foreign means that immigration reform should be delayed and that reform could endanger the public.

King-Sized Exploitation (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Give Steve King a terrific ovation
For his masterful bomb exploitation:
In the absence of facts,
He conflates the attacks
With immigration reform in our nation.

He’s been anti-reform all along.
Now he sings a delay-reform song,
Cuz the bomber, he claims,
Might be foreign. He aims
To spread terror himself — that’s so wrong.

Promiscuous Law-Making (Limerick)

Tuesday, March 5th, 2013

Republican creativity never ceases to amaze me. Here’s the latest in Iowa’s battle against teenage promiscuity:

Seven Republicans in the Iowa House are pushing a bill to prohibit parents of minor children from getting a “no fault” divorce and the proposal could be debated in a House committee this week.

A three-member subcommittee debated the bill today. Representative Tedd Gassman, a Republican from Scarville, said he’s concerned about the negative impact divorce has on children.

“In my opinion, it’s time to look out for the children instead of constantly worrying about the adults,” Gassman said.

Representative Gassman said the issue is “near and dear” to his heart because his daughter and son-in-law recently divorced, putting his granddaughter at risk.

“There’s a 16-year-old girl in this whole mix now. Guess what? What are the possibilities of her being more promiscuous?” Gassman said. “What are the possibilities of all these other things surrounding her life that a 16-year-old girl, with hormones raging, can get herself into?”

Promiscuous Law-Making (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

If your children are minors, watch out!
You may have to stay wed to that lout:
It seems no-fault divorce
May be nixed, as of course,
By Iowan wingnuts with clout.