Archive for the ‘Debate Humor’ Category

Limerick Ode To Losing “Bigly”

Thursday, October 20th, 2016

Donald lost the debate rather “bigly.”
The jig’s up, Mr. “Bigwig.” Your prigly
And pigly deportment
And oddball assortment
Of views “rigged the deal” … and I’m giggly.

Pre-Debate Queries (Limerick)

Monday, October 17th, 2016

Will Donald show up to debate
And act crazy, confused, or irate?
Will he spread taller tales,
As he coke-sniffs and wails?
It’s all moot; Trump has sealed his own fate.

Trump Gropes For A Distraction (Limerick)

Sunday, October 9th, 2016

The debaters are poised for the kill.
(I’m referring to Donald and Hill.)
Here’s the answer we need:
Will The Donald succeed
In changing the villain to Bill?

Open Limerick To Mike Pence

Wednesday, October 5th, 2016

Dear Mike Pence, I am duly impressed.
You bested Tim Kaine, I’ll attest.
You’re so cool under fire,
Too bad you’re a liar!
And since when is mendacity blessed?

Looking At The Lookist (Limerick)

Thursday, September 29th, 2016

Donald swallowed Hill’s fat-shaming bait,
Which made him enraged and irate.
So he keeps lashing back
And confirms with each whack
That at lookism, Donald is great.

Going Mental (Limerick)

Sunday, September 25th, 2016

I keep pacing, and ev’rything’s grating.
I barely can handle the waiting.
I’m shaky and dazed.
My mental state’s crazed.
How fortunate I’M not debating!

Open Limerick To The Press (3-Verse)

Thursday, September 22nd, 2016

Will the media (including debate moderators) finally do its job during the upcoming presidential debates? My 3-verse open limerick to the press begs the media to do exactly that:

Dear press, that low bar you employ
Judging Trump must be raised. Don’t be coy.
If he hides some bad traits
In these crucial debates,
Don’t applaud Donald’s “pivot” with joy!

If he fails to behave like a clown
And he brings his high lying rate down,
Doesn’t act like a mad man,
Or Trump-bus’ness ad man,
Don’t hand him a pageantry crown.

Stop pretending that Trump’s not an ass.
Stop giving The Donald a pass.
It’s time to admit
That he’s clearly unfit
To be prez. Do your job! Show some brass!

Delusional Donald (Limerick)

Tuesday, August 9th, 2016

Will Delusional Donald debate?
Well of course, so folks see that he’s “great.”
Though he plays hard to get
With “conditions,” I’ll bet
He can’t wait; he’s so sure of his fate.

Donald’s Already Lying About Debates (Limerick)

Saturday, July 30th, 2016

I suspect that The Donald is scared
That his knowledge-lack’s sure to be bared
In a Clinton debate.
Hence his tale out the gate:
“Clinton rigged the debate dates,” he blared.

GOP Debates — Too Off-Color For Jerry Springer? (Limerick)

Saturday, March 5th, 2016

I love this Jerry Springer quote about the Republican presidential candidates:

Clearly they could be on our show, but now they’ve gone off the deep end, and we would start bleeping out some of what they’d say.

Tabloid talk show host Springer has peeped
At debates (GOP) and has heaped
A critique rather wise;
If he hosted those guys,
They surely would have to be bleeped.

Limerick Ode To Chris “Suicide Bomber” Christie

Wednesday, February 10th, 2016

Although Marco’s been weakened by Chris,
Chris Christie’s not feeling the bliss.
For while mauling that pup
Christie blew himself up;
His reward in New Hampshire? Big diss!

Curtains for Jeb? (2-Verse Limerick)

Thursday, October 29th, 2015

Who should quit after last night’s debate?
It was Jebbie’s worst showing, to date,
A performance dismaying.
His fans must be weighing
Their option to dump his dead weight.

Jeb’s attack on pal Rubio failed,
And at Marco’s retort, Jeb just flailed.
Then smooth sailing for Marco.
From Jeb? Not a spark! Oh,
Jeb’s run has been fully derailed.

Open Limerick To Jim Webb

Sunday, October 18th, 2015

Dear Jim Webb, we are sick of your kvetching.
Your wretched behavior ain’t fetching.
When you whine about rigging
Debates, you are digging
Your grave — also triggering retching.

About Last Night (Limerick)

Wednesday, October 14th, 2015

Here’s how I’d sum up the first Democratic debate:

I’d say Hillary easily won,
And Bernie did well in the sun.
Whiny Webb? Dull O’Malley?
Dazed Chafee? Finale!
They should quit cuz their runs are undone.

About Last Night (3-Verse Debate Limerick)

Friday, September 18th, 2015

About Last Night (3-Verse Debate Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

As Wednesday’s debate has laid bare,
Donald Trump can spout naught but hot air;
When policy matters
Come up, he’s in tatters.
No detail — just nonsense … and hair.

All his rivals have views I’d forswear.
But at least they have taken some care
To bolster each stand
With some facts, often canned
And untrue — they know fact-checking’s rare.

Fiorina, it seems, was on fire,
And I have to admit I admire
Her talent for lies,
While she’s eyeing the prize
In the fight I’d call “Braggart v. Liar.”

Pre-Debate Limerick

Wednesday, September 16th, 2015

At this ev’ning’s political rumble
I wonder who’ll fumble or crumble.
Will low numbers like “1”
Make some feel quite undone,
Or be freeing? (At “1” they can’t tumble.)

Limerick Ode To This Wednesday’s CNN Debate

Monday, September 14th, 2015

This Wednesday on CNN’s stage,
Ten guys and one gal will engage
In attempts to gain ground.
But chagrin will abound;
Most are bound to be Trumped. Feel their rage!

My Debate Prediction (Limerick)

Thursday, August 6th, 2015

My Debate Prediction
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Will Trump, while debating, “play nice?”
If he does, Trump will pay a steep price,
Cuz “nice” AIN’T what fans bought;
With just “nice” he’s got naught.
One mild “slight?” He’ll be “Trump” in a trice.

Limerick Ode To “Awesome” Rick Perry

Wednesday, August 13th, 2014

Although Texas Governor Rick Perry hasn’t announced yet, it’s pretty clear that he’s planning to run for the GOP presidential nomination. Now I don’t know about you, but I’m looking forward to some more juicy “oops” moments.

Amusing bits like this will probably be the least of it:

Perry seemed pumped up after his enthusiastic, heckle-free reception at the Register’s Soapbox. When the Register’s moderator thanked him as he came off the stage, Perry said: “You’re welcome. I’m awesome!”

Limerick Ode To “Awesome” Rick Perry
By Madeleine Begun Kane

“You’re welcome. I’m awesome!” said Perry.
Oops, was Perry pumped up? I’d say, “Very!”
Seems another prez run
By that man will be fun.
No debate, Rick will help us make merry.

Limerick Ode To Publicity Whores

Wednesday, October 24th, 2012

I try so hard to ignore publicity whores, like Donald Trump and Ann Coulter. And yet, their obnoxious antics make me look … and limerick.

Oh, why I can’t disregard stuff like this Coulter tweet:

…Coulter sent a Twitter message during the presidential debates Monday saying [she] approved of “(Mitt) Romney’s decision to be kind and gentle to the retard,” referring to Obama.

And while I’m at it, I’d love to tune out Donald Trump’s nonsensical “bombshell:”

Donald Trump said on Wednesday that if President Obama releases his college records and his passport application, the mega-millionaire developer will give a $5 million check to charities of Obama’s choosing.

Limerick Ode To Publicity Whores
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Trump and Coulter, two bores I abhor,
And I promise myself to ignore.
But alas, my resistance
Is down. Their persistence
In boorishness strikes at my core.