Archive for the ‘GOP Humor’ Category

Flag-Hugger Haiku

Monday, December 5th, 2022

Flag-hugger Donald
says suspend Constitution–
GOP pols shrug.

Immersed In Mendacity (Limerick and Haiku)

Saturday, December 3rd, 2022

Many folks have a shocking capacity
For deception and lies — sheer mendacity.
They will lie to the max,
Spurring violent attacks
On those guilty of naught but veracity.

*****

When mendacity
replaces veracity,
sorry state indeed.

Trump’s Announcement Dud (Limerick)

Sunday, November 27th, 2022

Donald’s run has been met with a shrug.
Will he fin’ly be squished like a bug?
He announced and was trounced
In reviews, soon pronounced
“Tired” news. Please indict that damn thug!

Loony Lindell (Limerick)

Friday, November 25th, 2022

A headline like this one cries out for a limerick: “Mike Lindell Weighing Run Against GOP’s Ronna McDaniel ‘If God Willing'”

Mike Lindell is consid’ring a run
For RNC Chair. Oh what fun!
He’s a “pillow tycoon”
And conspiracy loon,
Whose motto’s “Republicans won!!!”

Republican Hypocrisy (Limerick)

Monday, November 21st, 2022

Though Republicans don’t try to stem
Wrongful deeds, when the cad’s one of THEM,
They’ll condemn to the max
The purest of acts,
If that action is done by a Dem.

The Key To Trump’s “Success” (Limerick)

Sunday, September 4th, 2022

When I ask myself, “How can it be
That no matter what Donald does, he
Somehow keeps a tight hold
On his fan base,” I’m told
That the answer’s a “huge BOOBOISIE.”

Trump, The Extortionist (Limerick)

Tuesday, August 30th, 2022

Headline: “Trump Is Trying To Extort America”

Donald Trump is so desp’rate to thwart
Prosecution, he’s apt to resort
To additional crimes,
Like extortion ofttimes;
Indict Trump! Get that felon to court!

Trump’s Legal Quandary (Limerick)

Wednesday, August 17th, 2022

Washington Post Headline: “Trump is rushing to hire seasoned lawyers — but he keeps hearing ‘No’”

Trump’s in great legal trouble. Hooray!
He needs aid on the double — today!
But attorneys with skill
Won’t bend to his will;
The response he keeps getting is NAY!

Garland v. Trump

Thursday, August 11th, 2022

Dear Donald, it seems that your bluff
Has been called, and in you’re in quite the huff.
Garland’s move to unseal
That warrant? Big deal!
Seems you’ve shot yourself right in the duff.

Trump’s Trumped-Up Victimhood (Limerick)

Thursday, August 11th, 2022

Donald’s so-called “unjustified raid”
Was approved by a judge. Don’t be played!
T’s were crossed. I’s were dotted.
His crimes have been spotted.
Our nation by Trump’s been betrayed.

My Open Limerick-Letter To Would-Be Trump Attorneys

Tuesday, August 9th, 2022

Trump’s besieged and (I’ve heard) on the hunt
For lawyers to take on the stunt
Of defending his ass.
Dear Esqs, you should pass…
Or at least get full payment up front.

The Grifter Strikes Again (Limerick)

Monday, August 8th, 2022

Dear Donald, I see that once more,
You’re begging for dollars galore.
I’m amused that you claim
It’s for lawsuits. How lame!
Bills from lawyers are bills you ignore.

Boris v. Trump (Limerick)

Thursday, July 7th, 2022

Boris Johnson’s resigned, at long last.
But at least he admits his time’s passed.
He’s not tried to incite
Armed mobs just for spite…
Or promised loyal felons a blast.

Pence Ain’t A Saint (Limerick)

Wednesday, June 29th, 2022

Headline: “Pence: ‘We must not rest’ until abortion is outlawed in every state”

On One/Six, Pence behaved like a man;
He helped scuttle Trump’s scurrilous plan.
But enough with the praise!
Re abortion, he’d raze
Women’s rights with a nationwide ban.

“Thanking” Trump For Dobbs (Limerick)

Sunday, June 26th, 2022

Headline: “Trump takes credit for Dobbs decision but worries it ‘won’t help him in the future'”

The Donald takes credit for Dobbs.
Does he merit such “credit?” Yes, gobs!
The three judges he picked
For SCOTUS have kicked
Gals back ages … and that was their jobs.

My Roe v. Wade Rant (2-Verse Limerick)

Friday, June 24th, 2022

Five SCOTUS extremists decreed
In a dastardly GOP screed
That Roe v. Wade’s dead.
So it’s “Off with her head”
For pro-choicers, no matter the need.

If you value our lost right to choose,
You must vote; forget whining and booze.
Your life’s on the line!
Dump the GOP swine
And make sure all Republicans lose!

Dear Trump: Stop Spamming Me! (2-Verse Limerick)

Saturday, June 4th, 2022

Dear Trump, I’m confused. Pleased explain
How I got on your list. It’s insane
That you think I would fall
For your bullshit. What gall!
Never try to exploit me again!

I’m most certainly NOT a supporter.
I would much rather be a Trump thwarter.
Save your “donor wall” space
For your idiot base
Who’ll fork over to YOU their last quarter.

Mother’s Day Redefined

Sunday, May 8th, 2022

Mother’s Day Redefined:

When Supreme Court Justices and other misogynist Republicans celebrate women being FORCED to be mothers.

******

Chief Justice Roberts should focus less on the leak & more on the “I believe in stare decisis” perjurers sitting on his bench.

Pelted With Produce?

Tuesday, May 3rd, 2022

Headline: “Donald Trump worried ‘dangerous’ fruits could be thrown at him by protesters, a new deposition reveals”

Sounds unlikely, unless they’re Italian opera fans.

Elon’s Musky Madness (Limerick)

Tuesday, April 26th, 2022

There’s a new Social Media threat
Making fans of democracy fret:
Under Musk, Trumpy lies
And misinfo will rise;
A calamitous “Net” blow — net-net.