Archive for the ‘GOP Humor’ Category

Trump’s Donation Scam (Limerick)

Monday, April 5th, 2021

Headline: “How Trump Steered Supporters Into Unwitting Donations”

Donald Trump raked in money; a mint
From his fans, who had nary a hint
Of the sums they had given.
To shock they were driven
By boxes (pre-checked) and small print.

Gaetz In Dire Straits? (Limerick)

Thursday, April 1st, 2021

Headline: “Matt Gaetz’s disastrous Tucker Carlson interview, explained”

The Republican Rep. Matthew Gaetz
Is accused of some underage dates.
His denials are odd.
(Even Tuck finds them flawed.)
Here’s hoping that prison awaits.

Republicans Still Gung-Ho About Guns (Limerick)

Sunday, March 28th, 2021

GOPers treat gun regs with scorn.
(Hammer sales could be next, they forewarn.)
Tighten background checks? “Whoa!”
Ban assault weapons? “No!”
Yet their “thoughts and pray’rs flow,” as we mourn.

An Assault Weapons Ban? If Only… (Limerick)

Wednesday, March 24th, 2021

An assault weapons ban from the Sen?
Some Republican women and men
Should support such a bill.
But obstruct it they will,
As they’ve done yet again and again.

Sidney Powell’s Risible Defense (Limerick)

Tuesday, March 23rd, 2021

The basis for Sidney Powell’s defense in the Dominion defamation case is that her claims about Dominion were too wacko to be believed by reasonable people.

Sidney Powell’s defense to the suit
For defaming Dominion’s a hoot:
Since her claims re Dominion
Were dubious opinion,
The judge has to boot the dispute.

Malaise At Mar-a-Lago? (Limerick)

Sunday, March 21st, 2021

Mar-a-Lago is partially closed,
Due to Covid. No shock: Trump’s opposed
To the wearing of masks;
In rebellion, he basks.
The result? His club’s rep has been hosed.

Scorning Mitch’s “Scorched-Earth” Threats (Limerick)

Saturday, March 20th, 2021

The threats from McConnell are worth
Very little, excepting some mirth.
He’ll tie up the work
Of the Senate? That jerk
Has blocked bills from the birth of the earth.

The Bullies’ Bullseye On Asian-Americans (Limerick)

Thursday, March 18th, 2021

You’re of Asian descent? Then watch out!
There’s a bullseye on you, without doubt,
Placed by Trump and his cronies —
Those bigots and phonies.
All it took was a “Kung Flu” Trump shout.

Dickish Sen. Wicker

Wednesday, March 10th, 2021

Headline: “Wicker Already Seeks Credit for Bill He Voted Against”

Dear Sen. Wicker, your vote was a “Nay”
On the Covid Relief Plan today.
So no credit to you
Is plausibly due,
And your bragging’s a two-faced display.

The Meddling “Former Guy” (Limerick)

Thursday, March 4th, 2021

“Republicans are sounding the alarm that his attempts to meddle in primaries could hurt the party’s efforts to win back the majority”

GOPers are worried and fretting;
They’re afraid that Trump’s meddling’s abetting
The Dems in the House.
For they bet on a louse,
Whose candidate picks have them sweating.

Neanderthal Limerick

Thursday, March 4th, 2021

Headline: “Biden calls states’ relaxing virus restrictions, including mask mandates, ‘Neanderthal thinking’”

Relaxing state Covid restrictions
Conflicts with the science predictions.
It’s “Neanderthal thinking,”
Says Biden, not shrinking
From words that condemn derelictions.

What Will It Take For Pence To Stop Repeating Trump’s Lies? (Limerick)

Thursday, March 4th, 2021

My latest limerick was inspired by a recent Mike Pence op-ed in The Daily Signal. Here’s how he begins: “After an election marked by significant voting irregularities and numerous instances of officials setting aside state election law, I share the concerns of millions of Americans about the integrity of the 2020 election.”

Dear Mike Pence, I am forced to surmise
That you haven’t stopped backing Trump’s lies.
He endangered your life!
Yet your statements are rife
With Trump myths. That’s bizarre and unwise.

Enough With “The Former Guy!” (Limerick)

Monday, March 1st, 2021

Is Donald a boor, or a bore?
How ’bout both? Yes, forget either/or,
For at CPAC his game
Was old lies, hate, and blame.
Don’t need more of the same toxic snore!

Manchin Throws His Weight Around (Limerick)

Wednesday, February 24th, 2021

Headline: “Manchin flexes muscle in 50-50 Senate”

Joe Manchin’s extortionate power
In wielding his vote makes me glower.
He’s unreas’nably bold
With threats to withhold
Key votes, hoping Biden will cower.

Postmaster General DeJoy Generates The Opposite Of Joy (Limerick)

Wednesday, February 24th, 2021

Headline: “‘Get Used To Me’: Defiant DeJoy Previews More Cost-Cutting Measures”

“Get Used To Me!” taunts Gen. DeJoy,
Whose ploys appear meant to destroy
The deliv’ry of mail,
Which now moves like a snail.
He treats mail like a worthless old toy.

Budget Director Blues (Limerick)

Tuesday, February 23rd, 2021

Neera Tanden’s Budget Director nomination appears doomed because … “MEAN Tweets!” Double standard, much?

Trump’s Tweeting career was extensive,
His Twitter posts mean and offensive.
Did this mar the support
From his party? (Loud snort!)
But those “MEAN” Tanden tweets? They’re expensive!

Callous Cruz (Limerick)

Saturday, February 20th, 2021

Did the frigid Ted Cruz flee his state
For a resort? (Cancún!) Yes, damn straight!
Let someone else master
The Texas disaster!
Why should Ted freeze his ass or his pate?

Anti-Reg Libertarian Types Liberate Texans from Heat (Limerick)

Friday, February 19th, 2021

Folks are freezing in Texas, alas,
Despite plenty of fuel — oil and gas.
Why’d their pow’r grid collapse?
Anti-reg types played craps;
Now their citizens suffer en masse.

“Cancel Culture” Hypocrisy (Limerick)

Thursday, February 18th, 2021

“Cancel Culture’s” an epithet (new)
That Republicans relish and spew.
Yet they’ll censure and scold
GOPers who’re bold;
Who vote “guilty” re Trump … though it’s true.

A Nickname For Trump? (Limerick)

Wednesday, February 17th, 2021

Headline: “In televised town hall, Biden says he wants to end national fixation on ‘the former guy'”

Though it’s boring and lacking in bite,
Biden’s nickname for Trump seems just right;
It’s “the former guy.” Wow!
Biden, please take a bow
For a name Trump will hate, cuz it’s trite.