Archive for the ‘GOP Humor’ Category
Monday, March 2nd, 2015
Most Want President to Have a High School Diploma
A new Public Opinion Polling survey finds that 62% of voters think it’s important for the President to have a high school diploma, compared to only 31% who think it doesn’t matter.
Interesting: “There’s a large partisan divide on the issue: Democrats by an 81%-14% spread think it’s important, while Republicans are evenly divided on the matter at 45%-45%.”
When asked to respond to this poll, Wisconsin Governor Scott Walker said, “Only elitists and ISIS supporters would buy into that requirement, whereas Senator Rand Paul said, “Have I mentioned that I’m a doctor?”
Former Texas Governor Rick Perry, a fellow presidential hopeful, disagreed with both men, saying “Don’t glasses make me look smart?”
*****
UPDATE: I was chagrined to learn that my column has fallen afoul of Poe’s Law. What the heck is Poe’s Law? The “literary adage which stipulates that without a clear indicator of an author’s intended sarcasm it becomes impossible to tell the difference between an expression of sincere extremism and a parody of extremism.”
So for anyone who read this and accepted the poll as real and/or any of the quotes as real, this is hundred percent parody. It was inspired by an actual poll related to whether people believe a U.S. President should have a college degree.
UPDATE 2:
Poe’s Law compressed into a haiku:
In extremist times
reality/parody
appear to have merged.
Tags: Campaign Satire, Education Humor, Election Humor, Fake News, GOP Humor, News Parody, Parodies, Poe's Law, Rand Paul, Republicans Humor, Rick Perry, Scott Walker
Posted in Campaign Humor, Election Satire, Fake News, GOP Humor, News Parodies, Political Limericks, Politics Satire, Rand Paul, Republicans Humor, Rick Perry, Scott Walker, White House | 3 Comments »
Monday, February 23rd, 2015
Why Republicans Embolden Our Enemies (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A government shutdown sounds sordid,
And I’m hoping it’s somehow aborted.
But the House GOP
Views the dangers with glee;
They assume they’ll again be rewarded.
Tags: GOP Idiocy, Government Shutdown, Homeland Security, House Republicans, Republicans Humor, Terrorists
Posted in GOP Humor, Government Services, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, Terrorism | No Comments »
Saturday, January 31st, 2015
Mitt Bows Out (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Mitt Romney won’t run. What a blow!
He took stock and decided no-go.
Now I won’t get to mock
His new populist crock
As the dough flows to Dubya’s bro.
Tags: Campaign Satire, Election Humor, Mitt Romney, Presidential Campaign Humor
Posted in Campaign Humor, Election Satire, GOP Humor, Mitt Romney Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, White House | 1 Comment »
Monday, December 29th, 2014
Having It Both Ways (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Claim “Obama’s economy’s” sick?
Then take credit for upswings? How slick!
But my dear GOPers,
It doesn’t take seers
To know that you really must pick.
Tags: Economy, Economy Satire, Fiscal Crisis, Fiscal Humor, GOP, Obama poem, Republican Hypocrisy, Republicans Humor
Posted in Barack Obama, Economy Humor, Fiscal Policy, GOP Humor, Hypocrisy Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, Washington | Comments Off
Wednesday, November 19th, 2014
Inconvenient Facts (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Republicans love to get traction
By using executive action
As a pretext to jaw:
“Barack breaks the law!”–
Despite similar acts by their faction.
Immigration reform, for example:
Though Bush Senior and Reagan did ample
Such executive acts
It would seem, despite facts,
That on laws only Democrats trample.
Here’s a must-read, if you really want to understand the debate over deportations.
Tags: Barack Obama, Democrats Humor, Deportation Humor, Executive Action, Feigned Outrage, George Bush Sr., GOP, Immigration Humor, Immigration Reform, Republicans Humor, Ronald Reagan
Posted in Barack Obama, GOP Humor, Immigration Reform, Impeachment Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, White House | Comments Off
Wednesday, November 19th, 2014
Republican gals
awarded but one House chair–
housekeeping gavel.
Twenty-one gavels–
GOP guys get twenty.
One lone gal “keeps house.”
For those who are keeping score, Rep. Candice Miller is the only woman who will be wielding a gavel in the Republican-controlled House. Twenty committee chairmanships go to guys (mostly white), while the least prestigious one — the House Administration Committee — goes (again) to Miller.
Miller’s committee runs the day-to-day operations of the House. So if there’s a hearing about problems with the House cafeteria or bathrooms, Candice Miller’s “The Man.”
To be fair, the Administration Committee’s other principal function is oversight over federal elections. So I suppose Miller can also hold hearings on how to make it harder for Democrats to vote.
Tags: Candice Miller, Chairmanships, Election Humor, House Administration Committee, House Committees, House Republicans, House Satire, Republicans Humor
Posted in Election Satire, GOP Humor, House Satire, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor | Comments Off
Wednesday, November 5th, 2014
Election Reflections (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Our nation’s elections have ended
With results rather distant from splendid.
As Republicans cheer,
I won’t cry in my beer;
I’ll need gin for our nightmare extended.
***** Sundry Post-Election Haiku *****
Dreadful election
has killed my sense of humor,
so stuck with haiku.
Election’s over–
my worst fears are realized.
Say bye to Senate.
Dems disempowered,
Republicans emboldened.
Brace for impeachment.
Election wipeout–
Americans even more
stupid than I thought.
“Was the election
a Clinton epic failure?”
Latest lame headline.
Sense of humor gone;
If you have held on to yours,
may I borrow it?
***** Post-Election Tanka *****
Watching the returns,
I memorized who won what,
but taxing my mind
proved to be unwarranted–
The Republican guys won.
Tags: Campaign Satire, Election Haiku, Election Humor, Election Tanka
Posted in Campaign Humor, Election Satire, GOP Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor | 1 Comment »
Monday, November 3rd, 2014
Writing Verse, When Things Go from Bad to Worse
By Madeleine Begun Kane
My goal is political mockery,
Poking fun at election-time squawkery.
But the polls are so bad
And the news is so sad,
That all I can do is throw crockery.
Tags: Campaign Satire, Election Humor, GOP Lies, Media Humor, Political Polls, Poll Humor
Posted in Campaign Humor, Election Satire, GOP Humor, Media Satire, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Polls, Republicans Humor | 1 Comment »
Wednesday, October 22nd, 2014
Chris Christie Wages War On Low-Wage Workers (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Chris Christie says minimum wage
Is too boring — he’s on a new page.
Dare to mention that matter—
He’ll spew out rude chatter.
Suggest raising it? Brace for his rage.
Tags: Chris Christie, GOP, Income Humor, Minimum Wage, Money Humor, New Jersey, Republicans Humor
Posted in Business Humor, Chris Christie, Employment Humor, Fiscal Policy, GOP Humor, Job Humor, Money And Finance Humor, New Jersey Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, Wage Humor | Comments Off
Wednesday, October 15th, 2014
Open Limerick To Political Pollsters
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Dear pollsters, you’re going to town
With predictions that force me to frown.
Each projection I hear
Feeds dejection. I fear
Evil clowns will be taking us down.
How I yearn for a spark that gives hope
And will somehow allow me to cope
With our national news
And the venom that spews.
Until then, I’ll continue to mope.
Tags: Campaign Satire, Election Humor, Political Polls, Poll Humor, Pollster Humor, Pollsters
Posted in Campaign Humor, Election Satire, GOP Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Polls, Republicans Humor | Comments Off
Friday, October 3rd, 2014
I’m looking forward to leadership from our Surgeon General, especially now that the Ebola outbreak has reached our nation.
Oh wait … we don’t have one. Why not? Because Vivek Murthy, Obama’s excellent nominee, has the audacity to view guns as a health issue.
What To Do About Ebola? Don’t Ask Our Surgeon General (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Though an expert on health would be nice
At this time of Ebola, no dice!
NRA’s GOP
Blocked a great nominee,
And our nation is paying the price.
Tags: Ebola, Epidemics Limerick, Health Limerick, NRA, Obama Verse, Republicans Humor, Senate Satire, Surgeon General, Vivek Murthy
Posted in Barack Obama, Firearms & Guns Humor, GOP Humor, Health Satire, NRA Limerick, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor | Comments Off
Thursday, October 2nd, 2014
Please don’t rat me out. But while the Secret Service wasn’t looking, I swiped this limerick from President Obama’s desk:
Dear Republicans, thank you for caring.
I’m touched by the worries you’re airing.
Then again, you’ll concede
That my death might impede
Your aspersions on me, now unsparing.
Tags: Obama, Republicans Humor, Secret Service
Posted in Barack Obama, GOP Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, White House | Comments Off
Tuesday, September 30th, 2014
Open Limerick to Charlotte Clinton Mezvinsky
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Dear Charlotte, I hope you’re prepared
For attacks, because war’s been declared.
Though you just got your name,
You’re a Clinton — fair game!
Newborn Hillary-heirs won’t be spared.
Tags: Charlotte Clinton Mezvinsky, Chelsea Clinton, GOP Attack Dogs, GOP Humor, Hillary Clinton, Republicans Humor
Posted in Campaign Humor, Election Satire, GOP Humor, Hillary Clinton, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Republicans Humor | Comments Off
Tuesday, September 2nd, 2014
How’s this for a non-shocker: Ousted House Majority Leader Eric Cantor (R-Va.) is headed to Wall Street. Cantor is “joining investment bank Moelis & Co. as vice chairman and managing director” and “stands to earn $3.4 million in cash and stocks as a signing bonus, with $1.2 million guaranteed in just his first year.”
Limerick Ode To “Poor” Eric Cantor
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Though he lost to a Tea Party ranter,
Please feel free to stop weeping for Cantor,
Cuz he’s striking it rich.
Ain’t his life just a bitch?
Wall Street moolah is quite the enchanter.
Tags: David Brat, Election Humor, Eric Cantor, Financial Verse, House Satire, Money Poetry, Republican Primaries, Tea Party, Wall Street Woes
Posted in Election Satire, GOP Humor, Money & Finance Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, Tea Parties | 1 Comment »
Wednesday, August 27th, 2014
Louisiana Governor Bobby Jindal, formerly a Common Core enthusiast, now claims that the U.S. Education Department’s initiative is an Obama “power-grab.” He’s even suing the federal government, in an appeal to wingnutty Tenthers.
Ka-ching!
Sleazy To The Core (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Bobby Jindal has filed a fed suit
To get Common Core given the boot:
Obama, claims Bob,
Did a power-grab job:
A prez wannabe, raising some loot.
Tags: 10th Amendment, Barack Obama, Bobby Jindal, Campaign Funds, Campaign Satire, Common Core, Constitution Verse, Education Department, Education Humor, Federal Lawsuit, Fund Raising, Litigation Humor, Louisiana, Obama Verse, Power-Grab Humor, Republican Hypocrisy, States Rights, Tenthers, Wingnut Humor
Posted in Barack Obama, Campaign Humor, Constitution Humor, Education Limerick, Election Satire, GOP Humor, Law Satire, Legal Limericks, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, States Rights, Tenthers, White House, Wingnuts | Comments Off
Friday, August 22nd, 2014
As a devout liberal, I’ve been pretty disappointed in Obama’s presidency. But the constant complaints about his letting off steam via golf are absurd.
To those who claim Obama’s too indifferent to public opinion, think about this: When no matter what you do you’re under constant (often nonsensical) attack, you might as well do what you want.
And don’t even get me started on the fact that most of the horror we’re embroiled in right now is a direct (or indirect) result of the war of choice in Iraq that George W. Bush (Mr. Vacation himself) lied us into.
Golf Wars (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
When Obama goes golfing, the press
And the pols say the world’s in a mess,
So the prez should not play.
But they’ll bitch come what may.
So he might as well drive off some stress.
Tags: Barack Obama, George W. Bush, Golf Humor, Media Humor, Presidential Vacations, Press, Public Opinion, Stress, War and Peace
Posted in Barack Obama, Election Satire, George Bush Satire, GOP Humor, Iraq War Humor, Media Satire, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, War & Antiwar Poems, White House | 3 Comments »
Wednesday, August 13th, 2014
Although Texas Governor Rick Perry hasn’t announced yet, it’s pretty clear that he’s planning to run for the GOP presidential nomination. Now I don’t know about you, but I’m looking forward to some more juicy “oops” moments.
Amusing bits like this will probably be the least of it:
Perry seemed pumped up after his enthusiastic, heckle-free reception at the Register’s Soapbox. When the Register’s moderator thanked him as he came off the stage, Perry said: “You’re welcome. I’m awesome!”
Limerick Ode To “Awesome” Rick Perry
By Madeleine Begun Kane
“You’re welcome. I’m awesome!” said Perry.
Oops, was Perry pumped up? I’d say, “Very!”
Seems another prez run
By that man will be fun.
No debate, Rick will help us make merry.
Tags: Campaign Satire, Debate Humor, Election Humor, Republicans Humor, Rick Perry, Texas, Texas Humor
Posted in Campaign Humor, Debate Humor, Election Satire, GOP Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, Rick Perry, White House | Comments Off
Tuesday, August 12th, 2014
This could very well be the silliest limerick I’ve ever written. But when the focal point of a political ad appears to be a horse with a huge penis, I can’t help myself. And if you don’t know what I’m referring to, you simply must take a gander at Gary Kiehne and his well-hung horse.
Horse’s Ass Of A Candidate (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
There once was a horse who was mad
Cuz his penis was used in an ad.
“How dare you imply
I’m endorsing that guy!
Scratch my likeness. That candidate’s bad!”
Tags: Advertising Humor, Arizona, Campaign Satire, Conservatives Satire, Election Humor, Gary Kiehne, GOP Humor, Horse Limerick, Political Ads, Political Advertising, Republicans Humor
Posted in Campaign Humor, Election Satire, GOP Humor, Media Satire, Political Ads, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor | 1 Comment »
Thursday, August 7th, 2014
The press is having a grand old time making fun of Rand Paul’s “bad limerick” about Mitch McConnell’s Democratic Party challenger, Alison Lundergan Grimes.
The problem is, Rand Paul’s verse isn’t close enough to limerick form to even qualify as a bad limerick. At best, it’s bad doggerel. Here’s what I’m talking about:
There once was a woman from Kentucky,
Who thought in politics she’d be lucky.
So she flew to L.A.
For a Hollywood bash,
She came home in a flash
With buckets of cash.
Sorry, but to call Rand Paul’s mishegas a “bad limerick” defames my beloved limerick form.
Open Limerick To Rand Paul Poetry Critics
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Rand Paul deserves plenty of blame
For his doggerel terribly lame.
Yes his Grimes verse is bad,
But the press makes me mad
When they call it a lim’rick. For shame!
While a limerick often does start
With “there once was a…” please have a heart.
There are rules to this form.
Five strict lines are the norm.
And to jump to conclusions ain’t smart.
It isn’t a lim’rick at all.
Those who call it a bad one, appall.
They have lim’ricks maligned,
And I really do mind.
Hence my three-verser limerick squall.
Tags: Alison Lundergan Grimes, Campaign Satire, Election Humor, Limericks Humor, Mitch McConnell, Rand Paul, Writing Humor
Posted in Campaign Humor, Election Satire, GOP Humor, Media Satire, Mitch McConnell, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Rand Paul, Republicans Humor | 9 Comments »
