Archive for the ‘GOP Humor’ Category

Book Purge Surge (Limerick)

Monday, January 17th, 2022

Headline: “Book bans are back in style”

Banning books is, alas, back in fashion;
GOPers suppress them with passion.
The same folks who maintain
“Cancel-culture’s” a bane…
Purge and “burn,” turning book lovers ashen.

A Riot Of A Story (Limerick)

Saturday, January 15th, 2022

Here’s the hilarious (and true) inspiration for my latest limerick:

Headline: “Capitol rioters called Nancy Pelosi’s office looking for a ‘lost and found’ for items they left behind on January 6, according to Rep. Jamie Raskin”

With the Capitol Building defaced,
Some One/Sixers departed in haste.
I must ask: Were they stoned
When post-riot they phoned
Pelosi for stuff they’d misplaced?

Republican Projection Project (Limerick)

Saturday, January 15th, 2022

Projection’s a GOP ploy
Which tends to besmirch and annoy;
Falsely claiming that Dems
Commit GOP “gems,”
Their lies are deployed to destroy.

Limerick For A Key Anti-Vaxxer

Monday, January 10th, 2022

Headline: “Urine cures COVID, Christopher Key, recently arrested Alabama anti-vaxxer, falsely claims”

An anti-vax leader, Chris Key,
Says “I drink my own urine,” with glee.
The “Vaccine-Police” founder,
A loon and a bounder,
Insists that God’s cure-all’s your pee.

Fast Talker Jim Jordan Won’t Talk (Limerick)

Monday, January 10th, 2022

Headline: “Jan. 6 panel fires back at Jordan over refusal to cooperate”

Said Jim Jordan, I’ve “nothing to hide.”
But it seems he apparently lied;
He’s declined to comply
With the One/Six probe. Why?
I suspect that he’s fit to be tried.

Insurrection Blues (2-Verse Limerick)

Sunday, January 2nd, 2022

We commemorate One/Six this week,
A day that’s both somber and bleak.
Though we greet it with sadness,
Trump basks in its madness.
Wreaking havoc’s his goal, so he’ll speak.

Trump is NOT at all through with his coup,
So he’ll keep spouting things that ain’t true.
For that man with no soul
Has an ace in the hole:
Clueless boosters who’ll back what he’ll spew.

Political Haiku Trio 2

Saturday, January 1st, 2022

A resolution
for GOPers to try:
Stop Being Such Dicks!

Nixing worthy laws
To preserve filibuster?
Hope for us busted.

Donald Trump invents
Conditional Endorsement:
“Avenge me, or else!”

Political Haiku Trio 1

Friday, December 31st, 2021

Is Joe President?
That depends on who you ask.
Democracy weeps.

Right-wing Justices:
“When we like what the State does,
States’ Rights must prevail.”

If the unvaxxed die,
And allies don’t believe it,
Are they really dead?

Cowardly Trumpsters (Limerick)

Saturday, December 25th, 2021

There’s a curse Trumpsters hurl with abandon:
It’s the cuss-in-disguise “Let’s Go Brandon!”
They use code cuz they’re hidin’;
Its gist? “Fuck Joe Biden!”
What a noxious obscenity stand-in!

Dear Dems: DO Something! (Limerick)

Thursday, November 4th, 2021

The shellacking the Dems got this week
Means they’re weak and need more than a tweak.
What they’re doing ain’t working.
Disaster is lurking!
If the Dems don’t shape up, I shall freak.

An Out-Of-Control U.S. Supreme Court? (Limerick)

Wednesday, November 3rd, 2021

Headline: “Supreme Court appears skeptical of New York’s restrictive gun-control law”

New York gun control’s likely to slip,
Cuz the highest Fed Court lacks a grip
On our big city needs
To forestall deadly deeds.
I just hope it won’t shoot from the hip!

Marjorie Greene v. Lin Wood (Limerick)

Tuesday, October 12th, 2021

Headline: “QAnon Stars Lin Wood and Marjorie Taylor Greene Battle in EPIC FEUD After Wood Calls Greene a Commie for the Most Insane Reason”

I’m amused by the Greene v. Wood feud:
Crazy gal versus lunatic dude!
“Impeach Biden,” she said,
Which made Lin Wood see red:
That implies “that he won,” mad Wood booed.

Debt Ceiling Stupidity (Limerick)

Friday, October 8th, 2021

Was it Schumer who caved? Was it Mitch?
These debt ceiling fights are a bitch,
And they never make sense.
Yes our debt is immense,
But to spurn obligations? That’s rich!

Gov. DeSantis’s Reign Is A Killer (Limerick)

Thursday, August 12th, 2021

Headline: “DeSantis rakes in cash as Florida’s Covid wars rage”

Gov. DeSantis is raking in bread,
While his rules boost the number of dead.
His “pro-freedom” brand
Brings in cash, so he’s banned
Ev’ry mandate that slows Covid’s spread.

Not Masking My Frustration (Limerick)

Sunday, August 1st, 2021

Please tell me you’re pulling my leg
When you say there’s a spanking new reg:
The “no mask” rule’s been axed
For those who’ve been vaxxed?
Will you say it’s not true, if I beg?

Trump-Sycophant McCarthy Can’t Handle The Truth (Limerick)

Wednesday, July 21st, 2021

Headline: “McCarthy pulls his 5 GOP members from 1/6 committee after Pelosi rejects 2 of his picks”

When McCarthy named Jordan and Banks
To the One/Six Committee, “No thanks!”
Was the answer he got
And WANTED; his plot
Was to pull his five picks from the ranks.

Fox Hypocrisy (Limerick)

Monday, July 12th, 2021

Fox Newsers may cause the demise
Of their viewers with anti-vax cries.
“It’s my body,” they whine.
“It’s my choice!” Yet they’re fine
With abortion rights cut down to size.

Yet Another Trump Lawsuit (Limerick)

Wednesday, July 7th, 2021

Subheading: “Trump claims social media companies are ‘government’ actors. Attorneys say his lawsuit is a ‘pathetic joke'”

Donald loves filing spurious suits.
They are fund-raising schemes at their roots.
Plus they give him a chance
To play martyr. Trump’s stance?
He’s our prey, and we’re all in cahoots.

Republican Quandary (Limerick)

Tuesday, July 6th, 2021

Headline: “GOP 2024 hopefuls face challenge: Not upsetting Trump”

“The Hill” tells us something we know
About GOP prez-hopefuls’ woe:
They must NOT rile the prickly
Ex-prez, yet act quickly.
Avoid venom from Trump? Ho, ho, ho!

Patriotic Query (Limerick)

Monday, July 5th, 2021

If you fly the American flag,
Many think you’re a Trumpster. I gag
At this terrible blunder,
Then ponder and wonder:
How’d our flag get a GOP tag?