Dear Donald, you seem to be sad
Cuz that rally in Tulsa was BAD.
Your turnout was poor–
A shanda full-bore–
Just deserts for a self-dealing cad.
Archive for the ‘GOP Humor’ Category
Rally Folly (Limerick)
Monday, June 22nd, 2020Trump’s “Pious” Edict (Limerick)
Friday, May 22nd, 2020Headline: “Trump slams governors, demands they open houses of worship ‘right now’”
“You must open the churches right now!”
Ordered Trump, as if Donald somehow
Had the right to enforce
Such an edict. Of course
To his base, Trump’s a great sacred cow.
Pusher-In-Chief (Limerick)
Wednesday, May 20th, 2020The Pusher-In-Chief says he’s taking
A dangerous drug. Is he faking?
Since he’s crazy enough
To swallow that stuff,
Shall we swallow the claim Donald’s making?
Trump Pens Another Limerick
Wednesday, May 6th, 2020“The Democrats want me to fail,
And they’re rooting for death to prevail.
Since election’s their goal,
They’d applaud a large hole
In our markets … plus vote-fraud by mail.”
Trump’s Rush To Reopen (Limerick)
Monday, May 4th, 2020Donald’s rush to reopen stokes dread
Cuz he’d risk causing many more dead.
Though he claims he’ll abide
By data as guide,
Trump’s metrics are hatched in his head.
Trump Shows How Much He Loves Workers (Limerick)
Wednesday, April 29th, 2020Those who work in a meat packing plant
Are risking their lives, yet there’s scant
White House will to protect them
From ills that infect them.
Trump shields owners. But workers? He shan’t!
Workaholic-In-Chief? (Limerick)
Monday, April 27th, 2020Headline: “White House officials say Trump works so hard, he often misses lunch”
Poor Donald has no time to munch!
It’s crunch time. He’s busy! No brunch!
He’s not watching TV.
No, not Trump — Busy Bee!
You believe this? Then YOU’RE OUT TO LUNCH!
Is That A Threat? Or A Promise? (Limerick)
Sunday, April 26th, 2020Donald “threatens” to cut down his time
At press briefings. That sounds sublime!
Fewer lies! Less confusion!
More facts! Less delusion!
Few boot-lickers! Who’s smiling? I’m!
Dr. Trump Strikes Again (Limerick)
Saturday, April 25th, 2020To those who still back Dr. Trump,
He apparently thinks you’re a chump,
Who will gladly imbibe
Any crap he’ll “prescribe,”
Be it poison or waste from his rump.
The Purge (Limerick)
Thursday, April 23rd, 2020The president’s loyalty purge
Continues apace. Any urge
To speak truth to Trump’s power
Makes Dower Don glower;
Facts that Trump doesn’t like SHAN’T emerge.
Trump v. The Governors (Limerick)
Monday, April 20th, 2020If governors fails to kiss ass,
Their constituents suffer en masse;
Trump exploits all his clout,
Meting punishment out,
So they suffer the price of their “sass.”
Blame-Shirker-In-Chief (Limerick)
Friday, April 17th, 2020Donald Trump has a singular aim:
Deflect shame and disclaim any blame
For his screwups and failings
And out-to-lunch flailings.
Nothing’s EVER his fault. That’s the game!
Fauci On Firing Line? (Limerick)
Monday, April 13th, 2020Headline: “Trump retweets call to fire Fauci amid coronavirus criticism”
Dr. Fauci did something offensive;
He told us the truth — sin expensive!
Breach the loyalty shrine?
Then your job’s on the line
When your boss has derangement extensive.
Enough With Trump’s “New Somber Tone!” (Limerick)
Saturday, April 4th, 2020Headline: “The Media Once Again Heralds Trump’s New Somber ‘Tone'”
Donald’s “somber?” Oh give me a break!
He’s just sad for himself and can’t fake
Any hint of compassion.
(Preferring to cash in?)
The man is a dangerous snake!
“Trump to New York: ‘Stop complaining'” (Limerick)
Thursday, April 2nd, 2020Headline: “Trump to New York: ‘Stop complaining'”
Donald Trump to New York: “Stop complaining,
And act grateful, or I’ll be refraining
From sending more aid.
You have thrown too much shade.
My fake sympathy’s rapidly waning.”
Non-Brief-Briefer-In-Chief (Limerick)
Monday, March 30th, 2020Headline: “As the pandemic rages, the president brags”
Here’s a typical Trump tweet of late:
“My press conf’rence ratings are great!”
On TV, Donald prates
As his ego inflates,
While for briefings from experts we wait.
Irrational Polls (Limerick)
Friday, March 27th, 2020Headline: “Trump’s Approval Jumps Five Points”
A rise in the Donald’s approval
Transcends logic; he merits removal!
Such a gain in our national
Polls is irrational…
As peculiar as numbers from Liouville.*
*If you don’t understand my reference to mathematician Joseph Liouville, here’s a helpful link. And no, I’d never heard of him before, either. But when you’re desperate for a rhyme word, sometimes you have to research math.
Health-Menace-In-Chief
Wednesday, March 25th, 2020Headline: “CNN and MSNBC Staff Push Back on Airing Trump’s Coronavirus ‘Lies’”
From the Donald the truth’s rather rare.
Crisis briefings? There’s lying to spare.
Trump is flooding our nation
With false information.
Knock his dangerous rants off the air!
Trump Prioritizes Economy Over Lives (Limerick)
Wednesday, March 25th, 2020Headline: “Trump says he wants the country ‘opened up and just raring to go by Easter,’ despite health experts’ warnings”
The Donald’s inclined to retreat
From the fight for our lives, in defeat:
Forget germs! Fill each church!
Watch his policy lurch,
As he spouts off in presser and tweet.
Put A Sock In It, Donald! (Limerick)
Tuesday, March 24th, 2020Donald’s briefings for COVID-19
Should be banished from speaker and screen.
They’re a rally replacement
And lie-packed debasement.
Let the experts (sans Donald!!!) convene.
