Archive for the ‘GOP Humor’ Category
Thursday, July 17th, 2014
Have you noticed the new wave of stories about Chris Christie’s upcoming Iowa visit? This renewed coverage of Christie’s presidential aspirations gives me an excuse to post this non-limerick of mine, which I entered in the Style Invitational’s recent double dactyl contest:
Bridgery Fridgery,
Governor Christie is
Stuck in a scandal and
Can’t bridge the gap.
Oval-aimed dieting,
Indefatigably,
Hoping to run as a
Skinnier chap.
If you’re not familiar with the double dactyl, I summarize their rules here.
And, by the way, I lost. You can find the winners’ list here.
Tags: Campaign Satire, Chris Christie, Double Dactyls, Election Humor, Light Verse, New Jersey, Style Invitational, Washington Post
Posted in Campaign Humor, Chris Christie, Election Satire, GOP Humor, New Jersey Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, White House | 2 Comments »
Tuesday, June 17th, 2014
A Not-So-Modest Proposal (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Want to thin out the NRA crowd?
Here’s a concept that’s got me quite wowed:
Pair a gun range and bar,
Cuz those folks won’t get far
When gun-toting drunks are allowed.
(Alas, Combination gun ranges/bars do in fact exist.)
Tags: Alcohol, Assault Weapons, Bars, Firearms, Gun Control, Gun Humor, Gun Laws, Gun Range, NRA, Second Amendment
Posted in Firearms & Guns Humor, GOP Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Public Safety, Republicans Humor | 3 Comments »
Tuesday, June 10th, 2014
Amazing! Republican House Majority Leader Eric Cantor was unexpectedly trounced in his primary by conservative Tea Party challenger David Brat.
No, Eric Can’t (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
What a GOP upset! Oh my!
Eric Cantor was beat by a guy,
Who’s a Tea-Party Brat,
Underfunded, at that.
There are some things that money can’t buy.
Tags: Campaign Satire, David Brat, Election Humor, Eric Cantor, Republican Primaries, Tea Party
Posted in Campaign Humor, Election Satire, GOP Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, Tea Parties | 1 Comment »
Tuesday, June 10th, 2014
Monica Wehby, Republican Nominee in Oregon’s U.S. Senate Race, Answers those Harassment Complaints (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Vote for me! My convictions are tops.
For complaints about me, give me props,
Cuz they prove that I’m tough
And won’t take any guff.
It’s a plus that I’m known by the cops.
Here’s the story:
The Republican nominee in Oregon’s U.S. Senate race said Monday that disagreements with former partners that resulted in calls to the police show that she stands up for her beliefs and “will fight for Oregonians with very strong conviction.”
Tags: Campaign Satire, Election Humor, Monica Wehby, Oregon, Senate Humor
Posted in Campaign Humor, Election Satire, GOP Humor, Oregon, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor | Comments Off
Monday, June 9th, 2014
Texas Republicans, Repair Thyselves! (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
The “reparative therapy” craze
Is fancied by Texans for gays.
Although Dems know it’s foolish,
Republicans, mulish,
Praise treatment for homo-malaise.
Tags: Bigotry Limerick, Gay Humor, Gay Rights, Homosexual Humor, Reparative Therapy Humor
Posted in GOP Humor, Homophobia, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, Texas Humor | 2 Comments »
Thursday, June 5th, 2014
Limerick Ode To World Environment Day (June 5)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
World Environment Day has arrived,
Though “Deniers” insist it’s contrived:
This science contention
That sans intervention,
Global warming will leave us short-lived.
Tags: Anti-Science, Climate Change, Climate Science, Deniers, Global Warming, GOP Humor, June Holidays, Odd Holidays, Republicans Humor, Science Humor, World Environment Day
Posted in Global Warming, GOP Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, Science Satire, Science Verse | Comments Off
Saturday, May 31st, 2014
My 2-verse limerick “celebrates” John Boehner, who certainly knows how to be cowardly, evasive, and stupid all at once. Here’s Boehner responding to a question about climate change:
Asked by reporters yesterday if he accepts the scientific consensus that greenhouse gas emissions contribute to global warming, John Boehner demurred on the curious but increasingly familiar grounds that he is not a scientist. “Listen, I’m not qualified to debate the science over climate change,” the House Speaker said. Boehner immediately turned the question to the killing of jobs that would result from any proposal to reduce greenhouse gas emissions, which he asserts with unwavering certainty. (On this question, Boehner is not held back by the fact that he is also not an economist.)
Limerick Ode To John Boehner
By Madeleine Begun Kane
John Boehner, it seems, knows the score;
He’ll be kicked by his “team” out the door
Should he ever concede
What folks know (if they read)
That our climate is changing full-bore.
So Boehner will simply rebuff
Any queries re climate change stuff.
“Can’t debate it he claims;
His “not qualified” aims
To dodge facts, cuz his pals prefer guff.
Tags: Climate Change, Climate Science, Global Warming, GOP Humor, John Boehner, Republicans Humor
Posted in Climate Change, GOP Humor, John Boehner, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, Science Verse | 1 Comment »
Monday, May 19th, 2014
Tuesday’s a big primary day:
Six states have elections in what’s being dubbed a mini-Super Tuesday: Arkansas, Georgia, Idaho, Kentucky, Oregon and Pennsylvania. The Senate races with the potential for the biggest surprises are Georgia and Kentucky, where Republicans will be choosing between tea party candidates and ones with stronger backing from the establishment.
So brace yourself for yet another slew of inane observations about how mainstream Republicans are allegedly winning their war against the Tea Party.
Tea Party Wisdom (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Sanguine insight from pundits ain’t bright
Re the mainstream Republicans’ fight:
They’re not winning the wars
Against Tea Party boors;
They’re just moving far out to the right.
Tags: Campaign Satire, Election Punditry, Media Humor, Primary Season, Pundit Humor, Pundits, Republican Primary, Tea Party, Tea Party Members
Posted in Campaign Humor, Election Satire, GOP Humor, Media Satire, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Punditry Humor, Republicans Humor, Tea Parties | Comments Off
Wednesday, May 14th, 2014
Karl Rove a/k/a “Turd Blossom” a/k/a “Bush’s Brain” is at it again. And this time his target is Hillary Clinton. First he strongly implies that she had “traumatic brain injury,” while greatly exaggerating the length of her hospital stay:
“Thirty days in the hospital?” Rove said, according to the report. “And when she reappears, she’s wearing glasses that are only for people who have traumatic brain injury? We need to know what’s up with that.”
Next he denies using the specific phrase “brain damage,” as if that makes everything copacetic.
Of course this sort of dirty tricks attack is SOP for Karl Rove.
“Bush’s Brain” Does It Again (2-Verse Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Rove’s method is slur and then flee.
His hit jobs leave drive-by debris.
He’ll strongly imply
Something’s true, then deny
That he used a set phrase he deems key.
Rove’s now on an anti-Hill spree,
Lodging brain-health aspersions with glee.
He’ll imply Hill’ry’s brain
Has been damaged, then feign
Complete innocence: Smear her? Not ME!
Tags: Campaign Satire, Dirty Tricks, Election Humor, Hillary Clinton, Karl Rove, Presidential Election
Posted in Campaign Humor, Election Satire, GOP Humor, Hillary Clinton, Karl Rove, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, White House | Comments Off
Monday, May 5th, 2014
Many of you already know that big-time Republican donor John Jordan just dissed Republican pols big time. Here’s what he said:
I go out of my way to avoid meeting candidates and politicians.” Why? “All too often, these people are so disappointing that it’s depressing. Most of these people you meet, they’re unemployable.… It’s just easier not to know.
But I’ll bet you’re unaware of John Jordan’s secret limerick writing talent:
Dear Republicans, here’s tons of cash
From my famously sizeable stash.
I believe you’re all fools,
But can count on you tools
To keep screwing the riff-raff and trash.
(Note from Mad Kane for the Humor-Impaired: I’m John Jordan’s extremely unofficial ghostwriter. )
Tags: Fund Raising, John Jordan, Republicans Humor, Super PACs
Posted in Election Satire, GOP Humor, Money & Finance Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor | Comments Off
Monday, April 21st, 2014
I can’t help wondering whether Supreme Court Justice Scalia says weird things like this just for attention:
Speaking at the University of Tennessee College of Law on Tuesday, the longest-serving justice currently on the bench was asked by a student about the constitutionality of the income tax, the Knoxville News Sentinel reports.
Scalia responded that the government has the right to implement the tax, “but if it reaches a certain point, perhaps you should revolt.”
Limerick Ode To Antonin Scalia
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Suggesting that students revolt
Over taxes ain’t very adult.
It seems doltish Scalia
Has mouth diarrhea.
I surmise that his brain’s short a bolt.
Tags: Antonin Scalia, Income Tax, Justice Antonin Scalia, Revolution Humor, Supreme Court Humor, Taxes, U.S. Constitution, U.S. Supreme Court
Posted in Constitution Humor, Fiscal Policy, GOP Humor, Judiciary Satire, Law Satire, Legal Limericks, Money & Finance Humor, Money And Finance Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, Supreme Court, Tax & Budget Humor | Comments Off
Wednesday, April 16th, 2014
Limerick Ode To Phyllis Schlafly
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Schlafly’s latest is nuts — no surprise!
But the GOP finds her so wise:
It seems gals will be left
Without husbands — bereft…
If we’re paid just as much as the guys.
This isn’t a joke: Phyllis Schlafly really wrote this in the Christian Post:
Suppose the pay gap between men and women were magically eliminated. If that happened, simple arithmetic suggests that half of women would be unable to find what they regard as a suitable mate.
Tags: Employment Humor, Equal Pay, Feminism, Feminist Humor, Feminist Limerick, Feminist Satire, Marriage Satire, Phyllis Schlafly, Religion Humor, Workplace
Posted in Feminism Humor, GOP Humor, Money & Finance Humor, Money And Finance Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, Women's Rights | 1 Comment »
Tuesday, April 8th, 2014
How NOT To Woo Women Voters (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
We women are “whiners,” they bray.
We “lie” that there’s “no equal pay.”
That’s the GOP line,
And it suits me just fine:
On Election Day, gals get their say.
Tags: Clueless Republicans, Equal Pay Humor, Gender Gap Humor, Pay Inequity, Voting Limerick, Wooing Women
Posted in Campaign Humor, Election Satire, Feminism Humor, Gender Politics, GOP Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, Voting Satire | 2 Comments »
Monday, April 7th, 2014
Weep For The Wealthy (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Though the wealthy will publicly cheer
As campaign regs get knocked on their rear,
Some privately groan:
“No limits?” they moan.
“Buying pols is becoming too dear!”
Note from Mad Kane: Although I concocted that quote, it may be closer to the truth than you think. Here’s The Weekly Standard’s Bill Kristol, who argued on ABC’s This Week “that not every wealthy donor will embrace the outcome of the McCutcheon case, because they may now be obliged to give more:”
“All the donors I know hate this decision, of course,” he said. “This used to be a very good excuse to say to a candidate, ooh, I’m maxing out, I just can’t help your campaign.”
Tags: ABC, Bill Kristol, Campaign Finance Reform, Citizens United, Corporate Personhood, Democracy, First Amendment, Free Speech, Legal Verse, McCutcheon v. FEC, Newt Gingrich, THIS WEEK, U.S. Supreme Court, Weekly Standard
Posted in Bill Kristol, Campaign Humor, Constitution Humor, Democracy Humor, Election Satire, FEC Satire, Free Speech, GOP Humor, Hypocrisy Humor, Judiciary Satire, Law Satire, Legislation Humor, Money And Finance Humor, Newt Gingrich Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, Supreme Court | 2 Comments »
Thursday, April 3rd, 2014
Free Speech Gets Pricey (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Remember “one person, one vote?”
Now “one dollar, one vote’s” what they wrote;
Yes, the U.S. Supremes
Favor money — in reams,
As the rich grab free speech by the throat.
Thanks to the New Yorker’s John Cassidy, for inspiring this limerick with his acerbic comment about McCutcheon v. FEC:
But Wednesday’s decision, once again a five-to-four ruling, represented another significant step away from the antiquated principle of “one person, one vote” toward the more modern, and utilitarian, notion of “one dollar, one vote.”
Tags: Campaign Finance Reform, Citizens United, Corporate Personhood, Democracy, First Amendment, Free Speech, John Cassidy, Justice John Roberts, Legal Verse, McCutcheon v. FEC, New Yorker, U.S. Supreme Court, Voting Humor, Voting Limerick, War On Voting
Posted in Campaign Humor, Constitution Humor, Democracy Humor, Election Satire, FEC Satire, Free Speech, GOP Humor, Hypocrisy Humor, Judiciary Satire, Law Satire, Legislation Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, Supreme Court, Voting Satire | Comments Off
Wednesday, April 2nd, 2014
If you thought the Citizens United ruling undermined democracy, brace yourself: The Roberts court has made things even worse with yet another controversial 5-4 decision in McCutcheon v. FEC. Assaulting campaign finance reform once again, the Supreme Court struck down the aggregate limits on how much an individual can contribute to candidates, parties and political action committees.
As Ari Berman astutely observes:
The Court’s conservative majority believes that the First Amendment gives wealthy donors and powerful corporations the carte blanche right to buy an election but that the Fifteenth Amendment does not give Americans the right to vote free of racial discrimination.
Supreme Priorities
By Madeleine Begun Kane
The Supremes freed the wealthy to buy
Politicians — an endless supply.
Seems “free speech” means “free spending,”
While “voting rights rending”
Isn’t something they care to decry.
Tags: Ari Berman, Campaign Finance Reform, Citizens United, Corporate Personhood, Democracy, First Amendment, Free Speech, Justice John Roberts, Legal Verse, McCutcheon v. FEC, U.S. Supreme Court, Voting Humor, Voting Limerick, War On Voting
Posted in Campaign Humor, Constitution Humor, Democracy Humor, Election Satire, FEC Satire, Free Speech, GOP Humor, Hypocrisy Humor, Judiciary Satire, Law Satire, Legal Limericks, Legislation Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, Supreme Court, Voting Satire | 1 Comment »
Wednesday, March 26th, 2014
Limerick Flashback
By Madeleine Begun Kane
The date to apply by is near.
Health care bennies soon lost, many fear.
So the Prez moves the date,
Which makes no one irate;
It was Bush, and ’06 was the year.
Tags: Bush Administration, George W. Bush, Health Care Exchanges, Health Care Reform, Health Insurance, Health Reform, Obama Verse, Obamacare, Prescription Drug Humor, Republican Hypocrisy
Posted in Barack Obama, George Bush Satire, GOP Humor, Health Satire, Hypocrisy Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, White House | 1 Comment »
Thursday, March 20th, 2014
Obama’s highly qualified Surgeon General nominee, Vivek Murthy, is in limbo. Why? Because Murthy supports an assault weapons ban and believes guns are a health care issue.
Our Unhealthy Nomination Process (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
The move against Murthy ain’t stealth
Cuz gun fans are using their wealth.
Seems his Surgeon Gen. quest
Failed the NRA test:
He thinks guns can be bad for your health.
Tags: Assault Weapons, Firearms, Gun Control, Gun Humor, Gun Laws, Health Humor, Law Satire, Legal Verse, NRA, Obama, Second Amendment, Surgeon General, Vivek Murthy
Posted in Barack Obama, Firearms & Guns Humor, GOP Humor, Health Satire, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Public Safety, Republicans Humor | Comments Off
Tuesday, March 11th, 2014
Ode To Wingnuttery
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Obama is a “tyrant,”
wingnuts tell us ev’ry day.
But they also claim his “cowardice”
makes Putin go astray.
Seems Obama’s “too aggressive,
seizing power with his pen,”
when he isn’t just a “weakling.”
You bewildered yet? Amen!
Tags: Abuse of Executive Power, Cowardice, Executive Orders, Obama Verse, Republican Hypocrisy, Tyrants, Vladimir Putin, Wingnut Humor, Wingnuts
Posted in Barack Obama, GOP Humor, Hypocrisy Humor, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, Vladimir Putin, White House, Wingnuts | Comments Off
Tuesday, February 11th, 2014
UPDATE: The blogger who interviewed Governor Walker and whose Walker quote is the premise of this entire post and limerick, has corrected his story to indicate that the quote was a transcription error and that the Governor did not claim to have voted for Reagan when it was illegal to do so.
Rather than simply “disappearing” this post, I’ll leave it up with this correction notice. My apologies to anyone who was misled by my reliance on the earlier version of that interviewer’s story.
*****
Republicans have a long history of bolstering their credentials by citing some Ronald Reagan connection. So it tends to be no big deal when a Republican pol waxes eloquent about having voted for Reagan.
And then there’s Wisconsin Governor Scott Walker (R), who recently said:
I remember, I was a teenager, had just become a teenager and voted for Ronald Reagan — limited government, you know, smaller government, lower taxes, strong national defense. You knew what you were getting. You knew how a Reagan administration, a Reagan presidency was going to be better for you.
Alas, since Walker was born on November 2, 1967, he “wasn’t old enough to vote in either 1980 or 1984 when Reagan ran for president.” So if Scott Walker was being truthful, then he’s just owned up to committing voter fraud.
Scott Walker Walks Into His Own Trap (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Walker tried to increase his appeal
With a “voted for Ron Reagan” spiel.
Do the math; Scott’s denoting
His under-age voting.
Fin’ly, ONE case of vote fraud that’s real.
Tags: Ronald Reagan, Scott Walker, Voter Fraud, Votes, Wisconsin
Posted in Election Satire, GOP Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, Scott Walker, Voting Satire, Wisconsin | 1 Comment »
