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Archive for the 'News Haiku & Senryu' Category

McCain’s New Campaign Slogan

Saturday, April 12th, 2008

John McCain has been having a tough time raising campaign money lately.  So I thought I’d help out with a McCain campaign slogan haiku — gratis. Aren’t I generous?

Remember Bush’s
Humble foreign policy?
Vote McCain for more.

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My John “My Friends” McCain Theory

Saturday, April 5th, 2008

Wow!  Even Don “McCain Worshipper” Imus can’t stand it any more. I just heard Imus tell Craig Crawford:

If he says “my friends” one more time, I’m gonna kill myself.

I think it’s time for a haiku:

A candidate
Who can’t stop saying “my friends,”
Doesn’t have any.

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Hillary Clinton Derangement Syndrome (Haiku)

Sunday, March 16th, 2008

Smearing Hillary,
Ignoring Barack’s foibles.
Must edit blogroll.

(For more on HCDS (Hillary Clinton Derangement Syndrome) read Left Coaster;  Hillary Clinton’s Internet Director Challenges Bloggers To Cover Obama Campaign Tactics;  Sherry Chandler;  Pro-Hillary Writers On Strike At Daily Kos;  Avedon Carol;  Obama News Anchor;  Carpetbagger Report;  Pen-Elayne;  Chalice Chick; and  Gene Lyons)

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Obama Tries To Paint Over Politics As Usual

Saturday, March 8th, 2008

Barack Obama claims to be battling Hillary Clinton under a new set of political rules. But as Big Tent illustrates, his personal attacks on Clinton sound suspiciously like politics as usual.  And that brings me to my latest haiku:

The new politics,
Courtesy of Obama:
Old rules with feint-job.

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Hillary Haiku

Wednesday, January 9th, 2008

“Hillary cried,”
The media lied.
Who’s crying now?

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A Liar’s Haiku

Sunday, December 30th, 2007

AP calls Mitt’s lies
A “candor gap,” bypassing
Candor lacuna. 

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Weathering Bush (Haiku)

Saturday, December 8th, 2007

I shovel the snow
As Bush blares through my head phones,
Shov’ling something else.

No video today, but you can still watch this one.

(You can find more of my news haiku here.)

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First Pakistan And Then…

Sunday, November 4th, 2007

While Bush and Cheney are busily threatening World War 3 over of Iran’s potential future nuclear threat, their great nuke-possessing Pakistan pal President Gen. Pervez Musharraf has declared “emergency rule.”  Are you feeling safer yet?

A pair of haiku to commemorate the occasion.

Musharraf  declares
Martial law in Pakistan.
Bush lets freedom ring.

Emergency rule.
Constitution suspension.
Dick Cheney’s wet dream.

Update: Are Bush/Cheney speechwriters working for Musharraf?

Just after midnight, General Musharraf appeared on state-run television. In a 45-minute speech, he said he had declared the emergency to limit terrorist attacks and “preserve the democratic transition that I initiated eight years back.”

He accused the country’s Supreme Court of releasing 61 men who he said were under investigation for terrorist activities. “Judicial activism,” he said, had demoralized the security forces, hurt the fight against terrorism and slowed the spread of democracy. “Obstacles are being created in the way of democratic process,” he said, “I think for vested, personal interests, against the interest of the country.”

Update 2: For more satire on the same topic, visit Don Davis’s Musharraf Suspends Constitution: Bush Gets ‘Pervez Envy.’

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Heckofa Job, Karen!

Wednesday, October 31st, 2007

So Karen Hughes has resigned from her job to “promote America’s values and confront ideological support for terrorism around the world.” Hmmm.  Could she have been involuntarily slated for an assignment in Iraq? Probably not, but it’s an amusing fantasy. In any event, it’s haiku time:

Heckofa Job, Karen!
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Karen Hughes resigned
From her boost-our-image job.
Mission accomplished?

(You can find more of my Karen Hughes humor here and here.)

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Blithe Dana

Thursday, October 25th, 2007

For some reason, blithe Dana Perino’s blasé response to a question about Bush’s $2 trillion Iraq war reminded me of two things:

1. Bush’s false claims to have inherited a recession from Bill Clinton; and

2. Bush’s vow to “solve problems, not pass them on to future presidents and future generations.”

And that brings me to my latest haiku:

The White House isn’t
Concerned about the war’s cost.
Isn’t that special?

Unfair Censorship Of Plame’s Fair Game

Thursday, October 25th, 2007

The defendants in Valerie Plame Wilson’s lawsuit against the CIA for censoring her book, Fair Game, had better hope she never gets to trial.  I say that because I’ve heard her interviewed several times, and that woman will make one hell of a witness.

Moreover, asserting national security, in order to censor material that’s already in the public domain, sure sounds like revenge censorship to me.

And that brings me to my latest haiku:

Plame’s book censored by
Bush blackguards, who black out truths
Already revealed.

(You can find my Traitorgate song parody about Valerie Plame’s outing here.)

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SCHIP Haiku

Tuesday, October 9th, 2007

At long last, the real reason George W. Bush vetoed SCHIP:

SCHIP HAIKU
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Bush vetoed S-CHIP
Cuz he had a better plan:
No Child Left Alive.

(You can find more of my health humor here.) 

Update:
Ayn Clouter seasons
Her blog with parody poems,
Inspiring laughter.

Why did I post a haiku about Ayn Clouter?  Because she responded to my SCHIP haiku with some haiku of her own.

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Curb Your “Age Of Turbulence” Enthusiasm

Sunday, September 16th, 2007

Poor little innocent Alan Greenspan is shocked, SHOCKED, I TELL YOU, by the Bush administration’s budget deficits and loss of fiscal discipline. What a shame that the brilliant Greenspan was never in a position to do something it about it and maybe even prevent it.

Oh … wait. Never mind!

So are you planning to run out and buy Greenspan’s self-serving, history-rewriting The Age of Turbulence? There’s really no need to, because I’ve summed up the former Federal Reserve Chairman’s new book in a single haiku:

Curb Your Age Of Turbulence Enthusiasm
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Panning fiscal acts
He once endorsed, Greenspan feigns
Bystander status.

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Probing Question (Haiku)

Saturday, July 21st, 2007

Requisite Bush colonoscopy snark:

Dick Cheney’s in charge
While George Bush is unconscious.
How’s this day different…?

(You can find more of my news haiku here.)

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Lawless President Pays Off Law-Breaker Libby (News Haiku)

Tuesday, July 3rd, 2007

I can almost hear that promise Bush and Cheney surely made to Scooter Libby way back when:

Tell no tales,
And you won’t go to jail.
 

Scooter came through with flying (and lying) colors and has now gotten his unjust deserts:

Bush obstructs justice,
Rewarding Scooter’s silence:
Prison-free pay-off.

(You can find more legal and lawyer humor and satire here and more news and political haiku here.)

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Bush Stems Progress (Haiku)

Thursday, June 21st, 2007

Bush stem cell veto
Kills the hopes of the ailing,
Says “no” to science.

=========

So, have you entered my latest limerick writing contest yet?  The one over at my other (non-political humor) blog? The deadline is June 27, the topic is money, and I’m even awarding a couple of small cash prizes. 

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Bush on the Couch; Dub on the Divan

Thursday, January 4th, 2007

Justin A. Frank, M.D., author of  “Bush on the Couch,” makes a convincing case that George W. Bush is a sociopath in this fascinating Buzzflash interview.

I fear  that Dr. Frank may well be right.  But even if my much milder haiku diagnosis is the correct one, we’re in deep trouble with Bush in the White House:

Dub on the Divan
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Dubya’s surging fear
Of emasculation drives
War escalation.

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Post-Election Haiku Trio (Fox News, Trent Lott, Joe Lieberman)

Tuesday, November 21st, 2006

Fair And Balanced Haiku
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Democratic win
Is Terrorist Victory:
Fair and balanced Fox.

Joe’s Jive
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Joe warns: Compromise
And heed election’s lessons.
A not so veiled threat?

Trent Lott’s Revenge
By Madeleine Begun Kane

GOP misdeeds
Make Lott look nearly saint-like,
Enabling comeback.

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Haiku For A Former “Genius”

Monday, November 13th, 2006

I was amused to read that, in the wake of last week’s Republican debacle, Karl Rove remains “steadfast,” and that he believes the loss was largely Foley’s fault. Moreover, Mary Matalin still views Rove as “the Zen master of movement politics.” 

I think it’s time for a new haiku:

Haiku For A Former “Genius”
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Dream of Bush’s Brain:
Permanent Majority,
Surgic’ly removed.

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A Convenient Noose

Sunday, November 5th, 2006

As SNL’s Churchlady used to say, “How con-veeeeeeee-ni-ent!”  I’m referring, of course, to the Saddam Hussein death by hanging sentence, which just happened to be announced two days before Election Day. Uh-huh … right.

A Convenient Noose (Haiku)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Saddam’s death sentence.
Serendipitous? Hardly!
Leave no scheme behind.

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