Posts Tagged ‘Legislation Humor’

Joe To The Rescue? (Limerick)

Thursday, September 23rd, 2021

Headline: “Democrats Look to Biden to Resolve Impasse”

Dem pols are all counting on Biden
To fix deadlocks which mount and then widen.
Watch the Mods v the Squad;
Their divisions are broad!
So if I were Prez Joe, I’d be hidin’.

Petulant President (Limerick)

Monday, December 28th, 2020

Donald Trump threw a tantrum and then,
He brandished his President-Pen
And belatedly signed
The same bill he’d maligned,
Having caused extra pain yet again.

Wacko-In-Chief (Limerick)

Thursday, December 24th, 2020

The Wacko-In-Chief has a stack
Of bills to be signed, but alack,
Those bills may be toast;
Trump’s abandoned his post.
Let’s hope that he never comes back.

Non-Deal-Maker-In-Chief (2-Verse Limerick)

Wednesday, December 23rd, 2020

Headline: “President Trump throws wrench into COVID-19 relief by saying he won’t sign bill”

When a bill is a fait accompli,
Trump the “deal-maker” bitches with glee.
He won’t help something pass;
He’d much rather harass
Other pols, in a bill-griping spree.

Donald COULD have helped carve out a deal
For Covid Relief. But that heel
Sent Mnuchin to rep him,
And now would sidestep him;
A bit late for such “squeaky wheel” zeal!

Don’t Be Duped By Health Bill “Hold-Outs” (Limerick)

Friday, June 23rd, 2017

“I can’t vote for that bill in the form
That it’s in at this time.” That’s the norm
From a devious pol
Who’s just trying to stall;
Though lukewarm, he’ll conform to the swarm.

Mitch’s Secret Health Bill (Limerick)

Friday, June 16th, 2017

A health care vote’s scheduled for June,
But the bill’s in an air-tight cocoon;
It’s been hidden by Mitch
Cuz its terms are a bitch
Which, if known, we’d impugn and lampoon.

Limerick Ode To Trump’s Phantom Tax Bill

Saturday, June 3rd, 2017

Add this Trump “tax bill” lie to your list
Of assertions deservedly dissed:
It’s “in Congress” and “moving
Along,” he says proving
Non-bills can trump those that exist.

Repellent Republicans (Limerick)

Monday, August 5th, 2013

Repellent Republicans (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

“DC’s broken right through to the core,”
Yell Republican pols as they pore
Through old laws they’d repeal
(Who needs the New Deal?)
Determined to break it some more.

Kansas Gun Law Backfires (Multi-Verse Limerick)

Monday, July 8th, 2013

The Kansas legislature, in its great wisdom, recently passed a law allowing gun owners to carry weapons in public buildings. And surprise, surprise, insurance companies think this is dangerous.

The EMC Insurance Cos. insures 85 percent to 90 percent of all Kansas school districts and has refused to renew coverage for schools that permit teachers and custodians to carry concealed firearms on their campuses under the new law, which took effect July 1. It’s not a political decision, but a financial one based on the riskier climate it estimates would be created, the insurer said.

Kansas Gun Law Backfires (Multi-Verse Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

In municipal spots, like a school,
Concealed weapons in Kansas are cool.
But the pols that decreed this
May soon have to heed this:
They’ve entered a sky-high risk pool.

“You are too great a risk,” said the co
That insured Kansas schools. What a blow!
“We do NOT mean to screw you,
But just can’t renew you.
It’s financial — a matter of dough.”

Forrest Knox, who’s an NRA shill
And the fellow who sponsored the bill
That started this mess,
Says insurers should bless
Teachers toting their weapons at will.

“This will make us all safer,” he swears.
“What do carriers know about scares,
And dangers and risk
And hazards. Tsk-Tsk!
I know better than they!” he declares.

What’s next? It remains to be seen.
At the least, it will take far more green
To insure any school
Where an NRA tool
Hides a gun in her purse or his jean.

A Modest Men’s Reproductive Health Reg Proposal (Limerick)

Friday, June 28th, 2013

Ohio State Sen. Nina Turner’s proposed bill regulating men’s reproductive health inspired this multi-verse limerick:

A Modest Men’s Reproductive Health Reg Proposal (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Dear Republican men who insist
On controlling gals’ bodies, we’re pissed.
Since what’s good for the goose
(It’s plain to deduce)
Suits the gander, I’ve drawn up this list:

Viagra henceforth is restricted
To those who can prove they’re afflicted
Via sex partner swearing
You’re impotent, sharing
Your plight through oath uncontradicted.

You must also sex therapy seek
To help you reach sexual peak.
And we’ll force you to take
A stress test, you rake,
And prove that your heart isn’t weak.

In addition, your doc must advise you
About celibacy and apprise you
It’s a “viable choice.”
Yes your doc must give voice
To your options, cuz some may surprise you.

Only then, will the state let your doc
Prescribe any meds for your cock.
After counsel advising
Of side effects rising
From ED pills — nothing to mock.

From then on, you’ll be monitored too
To make sure that your heart ain’t askew.
You’ll be checked and re-tested.
The state is invested
In protecting you guys when you screw.

If you think that such regs are intrusive,
Insulting, and even abusive,
All these rules don’t compare
To what women must bear:
Female freedom is gravely elusive.

Our Industrious Lawmakers (Limerick)

Saturday, May 25th, 2013

This New York Times headline doesn’t exactly come as a shock: Banks’ Lobbyists Help in Drafting Financial Bills:

One bill that sailed through the House Financial Services Committee this month — over the objections of the Treasury Department — was essentially Citigroup’s, according to e-mails reviewed by The New York Times. The bill would exempt broad swathes of trades from new regulation.

In a sign of Wall Street’s resurgent influence in Washington, Citigroup’s recommendations were reflected in more than 70 lines of the House committee’s 85-line bill. Two crucial paragraphs, prepared by Citigroup in conjunction with other Wall Street banks, were copied nearly word for word. (Lawmakers changed two words to make them plural.)

Our Industrious Lawmakers (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

It seems Wall Street is writing our laws;
Co’s like Citigroup — clause by bad clause.
If you think it’s a crime
That the rich win each time,
That right there is your probable cause.

Open Limerick To House Republicans

Wednesday, July 11th, 2012

Open Limerick To House Republicans
By Madeleine Begun Kane

House Republicans, kindly get real:
Your big focus is health care repeal—
Over thirty such votes!
Where’s your bill that promotes
“Jobs, jobs, jobs” with equivalent zeal?

Limerick Ode To The Not-So-Super Committee

Monday, November 21st, 2011

The blame game is going strong with the customary false equivalencies.

Limerick Ode To The Not-So-Super Committee
By Madeleine Begun Kane

The Super Committee’s derailed,
And now we are being regaled
With tales blaming Dems
Sold as “media gems.”
It’s “balanced” reporting that’s failed.

Pressing The Press On Voter Suppression (Limerick)

Monday, October 3rd, 2011

Steve Benen has written an excellent post about the underreported voter suppression scandal:

Under the auspices of rooting out “voter fraud” — a problem that appears to exist largely in the over-active imaginations of GOP activists — Republicans are passing voter-ID measures, closing windows for early voting, and approving new laws restricting voter-registration drives, all targeting specific kinds of voters who happen to be traditional Democratic supporters.

And the Brennan Center For Justice has produced a frightening study of these “radical” voting law changes.

Now if only the media would take some time out from its hefty will-he-or-won’t-he Christie coverage, to report on this important issue.

Pressing The Press On Voter Suppression (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

The GOP war on our voting
Is a problem the press isn’t noting.
Unfair laws will suppress
Dem votes with finesse,
The Republican prospects promoting.

Limerick Ode To The New, Improved Obama

Tuesday, September 20th, 2011

This devout progressive has been very hard on Obama lately … and with good reason. But the debt ceiling debacle, liberal anger, and sinking poll numbers seem to have woken him up. Suddenly, Obama is the new, improved, assertive, populist President. And many former fans are welcoming back the President they thought they elected.

So, am I cheering? Well, let’s just say I’m giving Obama guarded applause. For while I like some of his jobs and tax proposals, and I love his newly confident, aggressive tone, I’m not convinced that any of this will last.

And that brings me to my latest limerick:

Limerick Ode To The New, Improved Obama
By Madeleine Begun Kane

It fin’ly has dawned on Barack
That with lib’rals he’s lost lots of stock.
His base and foundation
Could be his salvation.
I just hope his new stance ain’t a crock.

Limerick Ode To The Repeal of “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell”

Tuesday, September 20th, 2011

Limerick Ode To The Repeal of “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell”
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Hooray! “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” has ended.
Civil liberties lovers say, “Splendid!”
But it’s mourned by some jerks
Who think killed-at-war “perks”
Should only to “straights” be extended.

This Spam’s An Abortion

Tuesday, May 31st, 2011

I never thought I’d say this, but spam can be enlightening.

I’m referring to a recent spam flurry promoting home abortion kits. And we have Republicans to thank for this disturbing trend. After all, newly empowered Republicans have been targeting abortion rights in a big way. And at the state level they’ve been very successful at severely limiting women’s reproductive rights.

Who knew that when Republicans claimed to be pro-small business, they were talking about abortion kit scam artists?

That brings me to my latest limerick:

This Spam’s An Abortion
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A new (to me) flavor of scam
Came by email for gals in a jam.
Yes, a legal cascade
Against Roe versus Wade
Has inspired abortion kit spam.

Open Limerick To President Obama

Tuesday, April 12th, 2011

Open Limerick To President Obama
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Dear Obama, I’m shocked and appalled
By your deal-making prowess (so-called).
You could turn a royal flush
Into leftover mush.
Your message? “I love being mauled.”

(Related Post: Premature Concession Syndrome — A Remedial Limerick)

Haiku For Harry Reid

Thursday, December 23rd, 2010

President Obama has been getting most of the credit for this week’s lame-duck Congress legislative achievements:

* Repealing Don’t Ask Don’t Tell
* Ratification of the New START nuclear weapons treaty with Russia
* The 9/11 First Responders Health and Compensation Act
* Food-Safety Bill

But I think Majority Leader Harry Reid deserves much of the credit. Why? Because he finally figured out that the way to pass stuff is to treat Republicans like children and refuse to let them go home.

My haiku explains everything:

How to run Senate:
Tell GOP “No TV
Till your homework’s done.”

Oily Obstruction

Monday, May 17th, 2010

You’d think that, in the wake of the BP Gulf oil disaster, raising oil spill liability limits would be a no-brainer, even for Republicans. But apparently not. Just ask Sen. Lisa Murkowski (R-Alaska), who blocked the Menendez-Nelson-Lautenberg “Oil Company Bailout Prevention Act,” a bill that would increase the liability cap for oil spills from $75 million to $10 billion.

Oily Obstruction (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Liability caps for a spill
Would be raised by the Democrats’ bill.
But Sen. Lisa says “No!”
She’s protecting each co
That drills oil, despite all that they kill.

They’d be hurt by such law, she maintains.
Such indifference to other folks’ pains!
Who will cover the bills
For the victims of spills?
It seems oil cos have Lisa in chains.