A Modest Men’s Reproductive Health Reg Proposal (Limerick)

Ohio State Sen. Nina Turner’s proposed bill regulating men’s reproductive health inspired this multi-verse limerick:

A Modest Men’s Reproductive Health Reg Proposal (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Dear Republican men who insist
On controlling gals’ bodies, we’re pissed.
Since what’s good for the goose
(It’s plain to deduce)
Suits the gander, I’ve drawn up this list:

Viagra henceforth is restricted
To those who can prove they’re afflicted
Via sex partner swearing
You’re impotent, sharing
Your plight through oath uncontradicted.

You must also sex therapy seek
To help you reach sexual peak.
And we’ll force you to take
A stress test, you rake,
And prove that your heart isn’t weak.

In addition, your doc must advise you
About celibacy and apprise you
It’s a “viable choice.”
Yes your doc must give voice
To your options, cuz some may surprise you.

Only then, will the state let your doc
Prescribe any meds for your cock.
After counsel advising
Of side effects rising
From ED pills — nothing to mock.

From then on, you’ll be monitored too
To make sure that your heart ain’t askew.
You’ll be checked and re-tested.
The state is invested
In protecting you guys when you screw.

If you think that such regs are intrusive,
Insulting, and even abusive,
All these rules don’t compare
To what women must bear:
Female freedom is gravely elusive.

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19 Responses to “A Modest Men’s Reproductive Health Reg Proposal (Limerick)”

  1. Anne Nelson says:

    I love your stuff!

  2. I LOVE LOVE LOVE this. Going to tweet the hell out of it. Thanks for your brilliant & poetic take on this issue.

  3. z. alexi says:

    Nothing tightens up a guy’s throat like being directly identified as a limp dick rushing to his Pfizer stash. For a limerick about stiff lower poles [w/stiff upper lips to those Viagra-ing], it sure is classy. In our 1978 NYU film class, we made a video called “Mr. Mom: Good Riddance to Vaginal Politics.” We stuffed guy’s shirts w/pillows to look pregnant & had ‘em sit in a clinic forever. 35 yrs later, guys still wanna control women’s bodies & male politicos demand laws to ensure that…aaack!

  4. Kalpana Solsi says:

    very bold poem/limerick.

  5. Ah, this Bill makes a cock-up of everything, doesn’t he ;-)

  6. vandana says:

    Very profound thoughts, but true:)

  7. Almas says:

    This was so so so great !!! :) HA HA HA!!! Spot on dear!!!! too good :)

  8. brian miller says:

    ha. that is the trick, turn the tables on them and i imagine they will bow quick….smiles…

  9. Beautifully voiced into poetry! And with some great pointers!

  10. Talon says:

    Well, I nearly destroyed my computer as I was sipping my second cup of coffee when I read this. Yes, it’s time for a reckoning…and flaccid penises (or is that peni?) won’t cut it. Especially when they need them to work as they’re screwing everyone over. Loved this!

  11. Cackle! Wish this could go to the Republican mailing list:)

  12. Wabi Sabi says:

    Mad Kane for President!! LOVED this ! Oh yes! Turn the tables! Tanka Whirl

  13. Anna :o] says:

    Brilliantly composed! Funny too, although it’s sad your point isn’t…
    Anna :o]

  14. Great… and politicans all do this to protect humans from sin (as if murder with a gun is not a greater sin) … it’s not based on belief in my opinion but on funding and getting elected…. I can never understand the darker side of democracy

  15. grapeling says:

    A finer pen to flame
    the Asses at their game
    can not be found
    from sky to ground
    Brava! More of the same!

  16. Viagra for guilty mens pleasure
    For men who never will measure
    If they need a blue pill
    for a boner that kills
    they’re really not much of treasure.

  17. heidi says:

    Awesome and brilliant!

  18. madkane says:

    Thanks so much everyone for your kind words and fun verse!