Archive for December, 2010

Christine O’Donnell: Not A Witch, But Possibly A Jailbird

Thursday, December 30th, 2010

Delaware’s Christine O’Donnell may have lost her U.S. Senatorial campaign big time, but she isn’t through entertaining us. No … Fox News hasn’t hired her. Not yet, anyway. But she’s currently in the news because the U.S. Justice Department and the FBI are investigating her alleged misuse of campaign funds for rent and other personal expenses.

One former O’Donnell staffer, Kristin Murray, recorded an automated phone call for the Delaware Republican Party just before the primary, accusing O’Donnell of “living on campaign donations — using them for rent and personal expenses, while leaving her workers unpaid and piling up thousands in debt.

Another former aide, David Keegan, said he became concerned about O’Donnell’s 2008 campaign finances as she fell behind on bills and had no apparent source of income besides political contributions. He submitted an affidavit to CREW alleging that she used campaign money to cover meals, gas, a bowling outing, and rent to a landlord, Brent Vasher.

Christine O’Donnell’s response is to call the Fed investigation “thug tactics.” And my response is to write a limerick:

Christine O’Donnell: Not A Witch, But Possibly A Jailbird
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Here’s some news that’s delightfully rich:
Seems that gal who denies she’s a witch
Unlawfully spent
Campaign cash on her rent,
Which could land her a Fed prison hitch.

Holiday & Sundry Humor from my Other Blog

Saturday, December 25th, 2010

If you follow only my political humor, here’s some of what you’ve missed on my humor blog:

What Do Jews Do On Christmas? A Limerick Explanation

We Jews Need A Christmas Limerick, STAT!

No Hallelujahs Here For Handel’s Messiah

Holiday Office Party Haiku

Eclipse Haiku Septet

Haiku Or Senryu, That Is The Question

Limerick Ode To Ludwig Van Beethoven

Jittery Limerick

Limerick Ode To Willie Nelson

Haiku For Harry Reid

Thursday, December 23rd, 2010

President Obama has been getting most of the credit for this week’s lame-duck Congress legislative achievements:

* Repealing Don’t Ask Don’t Tell
* Ratification of the New START nuclear weapons treaty with Russia
* The 9/11 First Responders Health and Compensation Act
* Food-Safety Bill

But I think Majority Leader Harry Reid deserves much of the credit. Why? Because he finally figured out that the way to pass stuff is to treat Republicans like children and refuse to let them go home.

My haiku explains everything:

How to run Senate:
Tell GOP “No TV
Till your homework’s done.”

A Tragic Limerick Ode To John McCain

Sunday, December 19th, 2010

If John McCain hadn’t done quite so much damage to our nation, I could almost feel sorry for him. After all, it’s hard not to pity a man who’s turned into a pathetic shell of a human being.

McCain’s Don’t Ask Don’t Tell repeal temper tantrum is only the latest example of the sad, ugly person that McCain’s become:

A Tragic Limerick Ode To John McCain
By Madeleine Begun Kane

John McCain seems embittered and mean,
Acting worse than a badly raised teen.
His convictions? No more!
Just conniptions galore.
He’s lost heart, and he’s left with just spleen.

Intelligence Redesigned

Saturday, December 18th, 2010

I didn’t think Republicans could surprise me anymore. But I must confess to being stunned by Rep. Michele “Blabbermouth” Bachmann’s appointment by Boehner to the secretive House Intelligence Committee.

And it seems even Republican insiders share my astonishment:

Bachmann once suggested that Congress should investigate whether Democratic lawmakers were pro- or anti-America, and she’s been a cable TV favorite because she’s known for colorful sound bites.

On her Facebook page, Tea Party icon Bachmann said:

As a mother of five biological children and twenty-three foster children I pledge to do whatever I need to do to keep your family, my family, and the United States safe from harm.

I feel safer already. But I still had to write this limerick:

Intelligence Redesigned
By Madeleine Begun Kane

I don’t normally make much ado
‘Bout committee appointments. Do you?
But Intelligence? Bachmann?
That’s really a shock men.
I fear for its plunging IQ.

Booing Boehner’s Boo-Hooing

Thursday, December 16th, 2010

Gail Collins isn’t too impressed with incoming speaker of the House John Boehner’s Crying Game, and neither am I.

And Timothy Egan does a great job seeing through Boehner’s bountiful tears:

It’s when he talks about how he rose from his humble past — the son of a bar owner, one of 12 children who grew up in a small home with a single bathroom — that Boehner starts to weep.

“Making sure these kids have a shot at the American Dream like I did is very important,” he said, choking up, when asked on “60 Minutes” about his crying.

But a look at Boehner’s record during his two decades in Congress shows a man who has voted against nearly every boost for the working stiff. There’s no empathy for those with the longest shots at the American Dream in his voting pattern. Instead, we see a politician who is hard-hearted in his legislative treatment of the people now coping with the kind of economic conditions in which the Boehner family grew up.

That brings me to my latest limerick:

Booing Boehner’s Boo-Hooing
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Rep. Boehner cries crocodile tears.
He’s been feigning compassion for years.
Though his tears say “he cares,”
His vote record blares
That he likes kicking poor folk downstairs.

Limerick Ode To Bernie Sanders

Friday, December 10th, 2010

As you know, most of my limericks mock politicians or the media. But today’s verse is in honor of the great Sen. Bernie Sanders (I-Vt.) The stand he took today in his Senate filibuster of Obama’s tax deal with the Republicans was wonderful to behold:

Limerick Ode To Bernie Sanders
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Bravo for our hero, dear Bernie.
He’s engaged in a praise-worthy tourney.
He honors the floor—
Shows he’s great to his core.
Wish more Democrats joined in his journey.

(Thanks also to the two Democratic senators who joined him: Sherrod Brown of Ohio and Mary Landrieu of Louisiana.)

A Pair of Limericks for a Pairless President

Thursday, December 9th, 2010

Unlike many of my fellow progressives, I never thought Obama was a liberal. But now I’m beginning to wonder if he’s even a Democrat. In any event, he certainly isn’t a leader.

Needless to say, I’m furious about the Bush tax cut extension deal Obama made with Republicans, and I’m glad that Speaker Pelosi is taking a strong stand against it.

Here’s a pair of limericks about Obama’s abject surrender to the GOP:

A Pair Of Limericks For A Pairless President
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Dear Obama, you’re being a heel
By making this terrible deal.
You’re acting the fool
With this “compromise” gruel
Which will damage our land’s commonweal.

Obama’s demeanor is frayed
He seems ornery, angry, dismayed.
Will he finally fight
The Republican right?
No, he’s mad at the Dems he betrayed.

Run, Sarah, Run

Wednesday, December 8th, 2010

Here’s a first: I actually agree with the Tea Party Nation. They think Sarah Palin should replace Michael Steele as RNC head, and so do I. Unfortunately, Sarah Palin’s nixed this idea, claiming that the main job is fund-raising and that others are more adept at raising money.

That’s odd because she sure is good at bilking the public raising money for herself.

And now, my latest limerick:

Run, Sarah, Run
By Madeleine Begun Kane

The Tea Party Nation’s new mailin’
Says for RNC head it wants Palin.
Sarah sure sounds ideal
(Even better than Steele)
If the Dems want a shot at prevailin’.

(I have lots more Sarah Palin humor here.)