Archive for April, 2010

Tax Procrastination

Thursday, April 15th, 2010

Why work on my Form 1040, when I can write a limerick about not filing my tax return on time?

Also on my other blog:

* Swimming In Verse

* Musical Chairs

* Don’t Put These Limericks On Your Headstone

* Rehab For Serial Wife-Cheating? Bullox!

* South African Pinot’s Too Pricey? Blame The Baboons.

* Birthday Limerick For Elton John

Republican “Patriots”

Wednesday, April 14th, 2010

It’s amazing how many Republicans are rooting for Obama to fail, despite the dire consequences to our nation of presidential failure. As Steve Benen points out in his discussion of Michele Bachmann’s remarks:

Got it. President Obama has policies intended to help the economy, improve our national security, make quality health care more affordable and accessible, resolve the housing crisis, improve our existing energy policies, etc. Maybe those policies will be effective, maybe not. If they have the intended effect, we’ll have a safer, more prosperous future.

It’s fascinating, then, to see right-wing Republicans, including some currently in Congress, bypass the debate over the policies’ efficacy and go directly to rooting against the country. …

That brings me to my latest limerick:

Republican “Patriots”
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Disliking a president’s fine,
And critiquing his actions benign.
But hoping he fails —
That his White House derails?
I’m sorry, that crosses the line.

Inflammatory Fleming

Sunday, April 11th, 2010

It’s bad enough to write an anti-Obama column packed with falsehoods about President Obama’s national security policy. But Rep. John Fleming of Louisiana has managed to go way beyond that. He essentially and casually accuses Obama of being a traitor:

Simply put, President Obama is disadvantaging the United States one step at a time and undermining this country’s national defense on purpose.

Rep. Fleming, you’ve earned yourself a limerick:

Inflammatory Fleming
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Dear Rep. Fleming, your piece packed with lies
About nukes and Obama — unwise!
For political reason
You charge him with treason.
The traitor is you, I surmise.

Obama, Please Aim For Even Stevens

Friday, April 9th, 2010

It’s the end of an era. The great Justice John Paul Stevens has announced his resignation from the U.S. Supreme Court. Here’s a thank you limerick for Justice Stevens:

Obama, Please Aim For Even Stevens
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Great thanks to a judge I admire:
Justice Stevens, alas, must retire.
A supreme loss, indeed!
Please Obama, take heed:
In his place, name a judge who’ll inspire.

Unreal American Stories

Tuesday, April 6th, 2010

I was glad to see that Sarah Palin’s Fox News Special did just so-so in the ratings. And I was amused that her just-pretend interviews with LL Cool J (which ended up being pulled) and Toby Keith drew objections from her non-interviewees. After all, if you’re going to do a show called Real American Stories, there should be something … uh … real about it.

And now, yet another Sarah Palin limerick:

Unreal American Stories
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Palin’s show was a snooze on TV.
Even fans did not find it must-see.
Plus pretending to talk
With celebs made them squawk.
And recycling old footage? Ennui!

Ode To John “Pants On Fire” McCain

Monday, April 5th, 2010

Dear Senator McCain: Pretending to be a maverick is bad enough. But pretending that you never pretended to be a maverick? That’s just silly!

Yes, it’s hard to believe, but McCain’s response to J.D. Hayworth’s primary challenge from the right is to say, “I never considered myself a maverick.” Of course, that would be a bit more convincing had McCain not, among other things, released a 2008 presidential campaign ad calling himself the “original maverick.”

That brings me to my latest two-verse limerick:

Ode To John “Pants On Fire” McCain
By Madeleine Begun Kane

There once was a man named McCain,
The Republicans’ “maverick” bane.
He wore the term proudly
And touted it loudly.
But now it’s a primary pain.

So he’s claiming he never did use it,
Though we know that he’d often abuse it.
But he’s feeling the sting
Of the nutty right-wing,
So with lies he’s attempting to lose it.

Senseless About The Census

Monday, April 5th, 2010

Attention unhinged wingnuts: Obama’s Census illegally invades your privacy!

That’s a paranoid lie of course, but one that was started by Michele Bachmann and her cohorts. Ironically, it’s been reducing U.S. Census compliance to the detriment of the very people who are bitching about it. Here’s Philly Inq’s Dick Polman:

In the kingdom of ignorance, this story reigns:

Anti-government conservatives – apparently clueless about the history of the country they want to “take back,” and willfully believing the Pinocchio whoppers circulated via spam mail, talk radio, and YouTube – are currently engaged in a fascinating form of protest. Millions are refusing to fill out their 2010 Census forms.


The trend is so alarming that one Republican congressman, Patrick McHenry of North Carolina, felt compelled yesterday to plead with his right-wing brethren to fill out the forms; as he wrote on, the popular conservative site, “If we do not respond, we will not be counted, and if we are not counted, then we effectively will not exist.”

Most notably, he urged his readers not to believe “the blatant misinformation” that has been circulated by “otherwise well-meaning conservatives.” Which was a polite way of saying, “Don’t listen to the liars.”

That brings me to my latest limerick:

Senseless About The Census
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Crazed conservative protestors scream:
We must “take back” our nation’s their theme.
Self-destructively rash,
They treat Census like trash.
Good luck with their blockheaded scheme!