Archive for the ‘Wingnuts’ Category

Political Haiku Trio 2

Saturday, January 1st, 2022

A resolution
for GOPers to try:
Stop Being Such Dicks!

Nixing worthy laws
To preserve filibuster?
Hope for us busted.

Donald Trump invents
Conditional Endorsement:
“Avenge me, or else!”

Political Haiku Trio 1

Friday, December 31st, 2021

Is Joe President?
That depends on who you ask.
Democracy weeps.

Right-wing Justices:
“When we like what the State does,
States’ Rights must prevail.”

If the unvaxxed die,
And allies don’t believe it,
Are they really dead?

The Right Has Lost Its Mind (Limerick)

Tuesday, April 27th, 2021

OMG! Joe’s about to ban meat!
He’ll decree that you only can eat
Stuff that grows in the ground.
No more beef-beer around!
(Them’s the claims from the wing-nut elite.)

Conspiracy Theorists Are Up In Arms (Limerick)

Wednesday, February 21st, 2018

“The high school survivors are actors,”
Claim the gun-demonstration detractors.
“And they’re liberal plants
Coached by dads, mothers, aunts.” —
Anti-gun-control’s prime malefactors.

Trump’s Empty Threats (Limerick)

Thursday, March 30th, 2017

This tweet from Alex Burns (New York Times & CNN) inspired a limerick. How? It made me realize that Trump’s anti-Freedom Caucus rants may actually help its members:

“Please, sir, don’t massively elevate us as the scourge of the mainline Republican Party.” Does anyone hear the Freedom Caucus saying this?

While it’s true that Trump clearly outranks
The Republican wingnuts, he tanks
When he threatens the Caucus
Called “Freedom.” His raucous
Attacks might just make them say, “Thanks!”

Paul Ryan REALLY Doesn’t Want To Be Speaker (2-Verse Limerick)

Wednesday, October 21st, 2015

I have read each Paul Ryan demand,
Which he labels “requests.” They won’t stand.
There is no way that raucous
So-called “Freedom Caucus”
Assents, and that’s Ryan’s scheme grand.

When you don’t want a job, then you’re free
To ask for the world, which you see
Is what Ryan has done.
They say “No?” Then he’s won…
And back to his old job he’ll flee.

St. Boehner??? (3-Verse Limerick)

Tuesday, September 29th, 2015

St. Boehner??? (3-Verse Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Please don’t tell me that Boehner’s atoned
For his sins and for all he’s condoned—
That his leaving his job
Is a sacrifice (Sob!)
For the good of our land. Are you stoned?

Because all Boehner’s done is postpone
The government shut-down he’s sown,
And emboldened the loons
Who are anarchist goons—
Anti-government nuts to the bone.

So kindly don’t ask me to weep
For a man who will soon surely reap
Lots of wealth from connections
(While dodging elections!)
My retort would be something you’d bleep.

What’s Next Post-Boehner? (Limerick)

Sunday, September 27th, 2015

Will Boehner’s departure appease
The Tea Party’s wingnut-disease?
Or will it embolden
And make them feel golden–
Resolved to bring all to their knees.

Sleazy To The Core (Limerick)

Wednesday, August 27th, 2014

Louisiana Governor Bobby Jindal, formerly a Common Core enthusiast, now claims that the U.S. Education Department’s initiative is an Obama “power-grab.” He’s even suing the federal government, in an appeal to wingnutty Tenthers.

Ka-ching!

Sleazy To The Core (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Bobby Jindal has filed a fed suit
To get Common Core given the boot:
Obama, claims Bob,
Did a power-grab job:
A prez wannabe, raising some loot.

Ode To Wingnuttery

Tuesday, March 11th, 2014

Ode To Wingnuttery
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Obama is a “tyrant,”
wingnuts tell us ev’ry day.
But they also claim his “cowardice”
makes Putin go astray.

Seems Obama’s “too aggressive,
seizing power with his pen,”
when he isn’t just a “weakling.”
You bewildered yet? Amen!

Bigots Sling The Blues (Limerick)

Monday, February 3rd, 2014

By now, you’ve surely heard about the wingnutty brouhaha over Coke’s multilingual “America The Beautiful” Super Bowl ad. This article title says it all: “Coca-Cola’s ‘It’s Beautiful’ Super Bowl Ad Brings Out Some Ugly Americans.”

Bigots Sling The Blues (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Coke’s “Beautiful” polyglot ad
Has gotten the bigots quite mad.
Seems it’s too damn exotic
And unpatriotic.
I’m guessing they’re also non-GLAD.

The “Overrun” Speaker (Limerick)

Saturday, October 19th, 2013

How does John Boehner explain away and excuse his role in the government shutdown?

“I got overrun, that’s what happened.”

The “Overrun” Speaker (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

What is Boehner’s excuse? He’s got none,
Meekly claiming he “got overrun.”
He could scarcely be weaker;
His job as the Speaker
Is leading — he’s left it undone.

Doomed Limerick

Thursday, October 17th, 2013

The federal government’s reopened and the debt ceiling crisis was averted at the last minute. So the question now is, will this happen again? Alas, many experts believe we’re doomed to have yet another shutdown.

Doomed Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane

This crisis is over for now,
But for those who are wiping their brow,
Please keep this in mind:
The very same bind
May in merely three months take a bow.

Clean Messaging (Limerick)

Tuesday, October 8th, 2013

In President Obama’s October 8 news conference about the current budget and debt ceiling stalemate with Republicans, Obama said: “We can’t make extortion routine as part of our democracy.”

Clean Messaging (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

We can’t make extortion routine,
Said Obama, and that’s why a clean
Bill for spending and debt
Is a requisite get,
Else democracy’s sure to careen.

Limerick Ode To The Government Shutdown

Monday, September 30th, 2013

Limerick Ode To The Government Shutdown
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A government shutdown’s arrived–
An avoidable crisis contrived
By the wingnutty House,
Who blackmail and grouse
Over battles they’ve lost and revived.

Open Limerick To “Speaker” Boehner

Monday, September 30th, 2013

Open Limerick To “Speaker” Boehner
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Dear Boehner, while reading the news,
I’m bewildered — it tends to confuse:
Either somebody stole
Your Speakership role,
Or you gave it to Senator Cruz.

Discredit Where Discredit Is Due (Limerick)

Saturday, September 28th, 2013

Bad news from the Republican-controlled House:

House Republicans will vote to pass a one-year delay of Obamacare in exchange for funding the government, a plan that drastically increases the chances of a government shutdown this Tuesday.

Discredit Where Discredit Is Due (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A government shutdown’s been forced
By Republicans, sadly divorced
From our nationwide needs.
It’s clear from their deeds:
They have fiscal disaster endorsed.

“Party First” Politics (3-Verse Limerick)

Wednesday, September 25th, 2013

“Party First” Politics (3-Verse Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

When the government runs out of cash
And shuts down, then just who will you bash?
If you’re paying attention,
The party you’ll mention
Is Republican — that’s who you’ll trash.

But misinformation’s widespread
Cuz the public is constantly fed
Big Republican lies
Which attempt to disguise
Who would chop off the government’s head.

Yet the GOP’s mission is clear:
It’s a goal they’ve chased year after year
To stymie Obama,
No matter the trauma
To all that our nation holds dear.

Limerick Ode To Republican Hostage-Takers

Tuesday, September 24th, 2013

Limerick Ode To Republican Hostage-Takers
By Madeleine Begun Kane

“Fail to meet our demands? Then we’ll shoot.
Any deaths will be YOUR fault, to boot.”
That’s the GOP path
On their road laced with wrath.
Bottom line? Seems they don’t give a hoot.

A Modest Men’s Reproductive Health Reg Proposal (Limerick)

Friday, June 28th, 2013

Ohio State Sen. Nina Turner’s proposed bill regulating men’s reproductive health inspired this multi-verse limerick:

A Modest Men’s Reproductive Health Reg Proposal (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Dear Republican men who insist
On controlling gals’ bodies, we’re pissed.
Since what’s good for the goose
(It’s plain to deduce)
Suits the gander, I’ve drawn up this list:

Viagra henceforth is restricted
To those who can prove they’re afflicted
Via sex partner swearing
You’re impotent, sharing
Your plight through oath uncontradicted.

You must also sex therapy seek
To help you reach sexual peak.
And we’ll force you to take
A stress test, you rake,
And prove that your heart isn’t weak.

In addition, your doc must advise you
About celibacy and apprise you
It’s a “viable choice.”
Yes your doc must give voice
To your options, cuz some may surprise you.

Only then, will the state let your doc
Prescribe any meds for your cock.
After counsel advising
Of side effects rising
From ED pills — nothing to mock.

From then on, you’ll be monitored too
To make sure that your heart ain’t askew.
You’ll be checked and re-tested.
The state is invested
In protecting you guys when you screw.

If you think that such regs are intrusive,
Insulting, and even abusive,
All these rules don’t compare
To what women must bear:
Female freedom is gravely elusive.