Headline: “New Trump Administration Rule Will Force Doctors to Stop Saying “Abortion””
Planned Parenthood hit once again
Via “gag rule?” Seems Trump has a yen
To use power and wealth
To impair women’s health.
Gals could die from the stroke of his pen.
Ohio State Sen. Nina Turner’s proposed bill regulating men’s reproductive health inspired this multi-verse limerick:
A Modest Men’s Reproductive Health Reg Proposal (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Dear Republican men who insist
On controlling gals’ bodies, we’re pissed.
Since what’s good for the goose
(It’s plain to deduce)
Suits the gander, I’ve drawn up this list:
Viagra henceforth is restricted
To those who can prove they’re afflicted
Via sex partner swearing
You’re impotent, sharing
Your plight through oath uncontradicted.
You must also sex therapy seek
To help you reach sexual peak.
And we’ll force you to take
A stress test, you rake,
And prove that your heart isn’t weak.
In addition, your doc must advise you
About celibacy and apprise you
It’s a “viable choice.”
Yes your doc must give voice
To your options, cuz some may surprise you.
Only then, will the state let your doc
Prescribe any meds for your cock.
After counsel advising
Of side effects rising
From ED pills — nothing to mock.
From then on, you’ll be monitored too
To make sure that your heart ain’t askew.
You’ll be checked and re-tested.
The state is invested
In protecting you guys when you screw.
If you think that such regs are intrusive,
Insulting, and even abusive,
All these rules don’t compare
To what women must bear:
Female freedom is gravely elusive.
Karen Handel has resigned from the Susan G. Komen for the Cure breast-cancer charity. And Handel, a major architect of Komen’s stop-funding-Planned-Parenthood PR disaster, didn’t go sotto voce:
Karen Handel’s Dissonant Departure From Komen (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Sweet music — Ms. Handel’s resigned,
While wailing that SHE’s been maligned:
Blaming HER’s prejudicial,
The ousted official
Complained, leaving bedlam behind.
Alert the authorities: U.S. Supreme Court nominee Elena Kagan has “embraced dowdy as a mark of brainpower.” Moreover, unlike “most women” she doesn’t cross her legs when she’s sitting.
Yes, Washington Post columnist Robin Ghivan is at it again with her sexist political fashion drivel. (I still haven’t recovered from Ghivan’s column about Hillary Clinton’s cleavage.)
Well here’s a news flash for Ms. Ghivan: Any grown woman with half a brain knows that crossing your legs is both uncomfortable and unhealthy. But hey, if you want varicose veins go right ahead.
Robin Ghivan Makes Me Cross (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
If you care about good circulation
And prefer that your feet have sensation,
Then you don’t cross your legs.
Givhan’s column’s the dregs.
Sexist nonsense is Robin’s fixation.
Mad Kane (Madeleine Begun Kane) is a writer, musician, and "recovering lawyer." She won the Robert Benchley Society Award For Humor and enjoys writing limericks, song parodies, and current events haiku.
You can email her at madkane@madkane.com, visit her non-political humor blog, or stop by her home page.
