Mad Kane’s Political Madness

I don’t mean to cast aspersions on short people.  (I’m only five foot zero myself.)  But I have a totally unsubstantiated theory, and here it is: Republican politicians are, on average, shorter than Democratic politicians.  (Can you think of a better explanation for the over-compensating machismo and braggadocio that run rampant throughout the Republican party?)

Case in point: Rudy “Bald Ego” Giuliani, who out-did himself Wednesday during his European tour: 

LONDON - Republican presidential candidate Rudy Giuliani bragged about his international celebrity Wednesday on a trans-Atlantic campaign trip in which he schmoozed with conservative idol Margaret Thatcher.

“I’m probably one of the four or five best known Americans in the world,” Giuliani told a small group of reporters at a posh London hotel as onlookers gathered in the lobby to gawk at actor Dustin Hoffman who was on a separate visit.

And that leads me to my latest haiku:

The Rudy Complex
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Giuliani brags
About how famous he is.
Like Napoleon?

So who’s ready to fund my “Are Republicans Shorter Than Democrats” study?  Nobody?  How about my “Are Republicans Balder Than Democrats” study?  

Technorati Tags: GOP Braggart, Mayor Rudy Guiliani, Overcompensation, Republican Humor, Height, Macho Politicians

In his new book, Revolution of Hope: The Life, Faith, and Dreams of a Mexican President, former Mexican President Vicente Fox had this to say about George W. Bush:

The cockiest guy I have ever met in my life.

I’m guessing he’s seen Bush in his “Mission Accomplished” gear.

Technorati Tags: Mission Accomplished Humor, Vicente Fox, Mexico President, Political Memoirs, Cocky Bush, Revolution Of Hope

Is  the American Mustache Institute (AMI) for real? When I first read about it, I figured it must surely be fictitious.  Either that  … or John Bolton’s new employer. But the AMI, a sort of mustache anti-defamation league, apparently does exist, with this as its stated goal:

To battle negative stereotyping that has accompanied the mustache since those glory years of the 1970s - the peak of mustache acceptance - fighting to create a climate of acceptance, understanding, flavor saving, and upper lip warmth for all mustached Americans alike.

I think the American Mustache Institute deserves a limerick don’t you?

Ode to Mustached Men, The Forgotten Minority
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Ending prejudice—that’s the group’s aim.
“Don’t be bigots!” its members exclaim.
What’s the bias they face?
Not their age, faith or race—
Anti-mustache behavior’s to blame.

And now it’s time for yet another poll:

Technorati Tags: Mustache, Moustache, Mustached, Moustachioed, Facial Hair Humor, Shaving, Discrimination, Bias, Prejudice, AMI, American Moustache Institute, John Bolton, Anti-defamation, U.S. Constitution