Archive for the ‘RNC Humor’ Category

Doomed Limerick

Thursday, October 17th, 2013

The federal government’s reopened and the debt ceiling crisis was averted at the last minute. So the question now is, will this happen again? Alas, many experts believe we’re doomed to have yet another shutdown.

Doomed Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane

This crisis is over for now,
But for those who are wiping their brow,
Please keep this in mind:
The very same bind
May in merely three months take a bow.

Limerick Ode To Reince Priebus

Thursday, December 13th, 2012

I share Ed Kilgore’s amusement at the NRO’s interview with RNC Chairman Reince Priebus. Kilgore says:

At NRO, Jim Geraghty has an unintentionally hilarious interview with RNC chairman Reince Priebus in which the party chief pledges a frantic effort to look everywhere for ways to improve the party’s appeal—everywhere, that is, other than ideology, the Big Taboo no one is supposed to address.

Limerick Ode To Reince Priebus
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Reince Priebus now brags that he’s planned
To improve the Republican brand.
But his pride seems misplaced
Cuz root problems ain’t faced:
Ideology change appears banned.

Frank Luntz’s Killer Of A Joke (Limerick)

Wednesday, February 22nd, 2012

If any Republican operative should know not to joke about killing President Obama, it’s pollster/wordsmith Frank Luntz. And yet that’s precisely what he did:

If you think the race for the Republican presidential nomination has been ugly, you’re right. However, a recent joke by Republican pollster and Fox News analyst Frank Luntz indicates that the general election promises to be even uglier. Warming up a crowd at a Rick Santorum campaign event Monday night, Luntz cracked, “I have a ‘Run, Barack, Run’ bumper sticker, but I put it on the front of my car.

Here’s Rachel Maddow’s story on this, including the video of Luntz’s running-President-Obama-over joke.

Frank Luntz’s Killer Of A Joke (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

The Republican messaging czar
Is an expert at framing — a star.
Yet he loves to tee-hee
That Obama must flee,
Or be struck by a GOP car.

Limerick Ode To Villainous Mitch McConnell

Monday, October 24th, 2011

Republicans have repeatedly blocked proposals they actually support, in order to gain political advantage over Obama. This is no surprise, in light of Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell’s stated priorities: He bragged that making Obama a one-term president was his number one goal.

But McConnell now denies putting politics over the good of the country, claiming there’s no “villain out there who’s keeping this administration from succeeding.”

Limerick Ode To Villainous Mitch McConnell
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Mitch McConnell denies there’s a villain
That on purpose engages in killin’
The President’s plans,
After promising fans
Such destruction, a vow he’s fulfillin’.

Political Haiku Trio

Tuesday, September 13th, 2011

As pandering pols
romance the Tea Partiers,
they imbibe madness.

*****

Tea Party blood lust:
Leave uninsured man to die —
GOP scares me.

*****

Republican pols
cater to greedy donors—
putting people last.

*****

(For more haiku, check out Sensational Haiku Wednesday.)

Run, Sarah, Run

Wednesday, December 8th, 2010

Here’s a first: I actually agree with the Tea Party Nation. They think Sarah Palin should replace Michael Steele as RNC head, and so do I. Unfortunately, Sarah Palin’s nixed this idea, claiming that the main job is fund-raising and that others are more adept at raising money.

That’s odd because she sure is good at bilking the public raising money for herself.

And now, my latest limerick:

Run, Sarah, Run
By Madeleine Begun Kane

The Tea Party Nation’s new mailin’
Says for RNC head it wants Palin.
Sarah sure sounds ideal
(Even better than Steele)
If the Dems want a shot at prevailin’.

(I have lots more Sarah Palin humor here.)

Holier-Than-Thou Wars

Friday, March 12th, 2010

The Democrats have suffered some ethics-embarrassments, and Republicans have been playing holier-than-thou with an RNC Charlie Rangel and Eric Massa ad.

Of course, looking morally superior would be a lot easier if Republicans didn’t have such a culture of corruption.

I’m guessing the RNC figured Democrats were too cowardly to fight back. Fortunately, the RNC was wrong.

And that brings me to my latest limerick:

Holier-Than-Thou Wars
By Madeleine Begun Kane

The GOP’s trying to smack
The Dems on their ethics. How whack!
With their glass house display—
Ensign, Vitter, DeLay—
They throw stones — an ironic attack.

Testy Republicans

Monday, November 30th, 2009

By now you’ve surely heard about the GOP’s proposed conservative “purity test,” a ten-point litmus test advocated by James Bopp Jr. and others to weed out party “undesirables.”

Under this test (Reagan’s Unity Principle for Support of Candidates), if you’re not right-wing enough to pass muster on at least eight of ten position points, you forfeit RNC support.

How ironic and amusing that Ronald Reagan, the “purity test’s” namesake, couldn’t come close to passing it.

And that brings me to my latest double limerick:

Testy Republicans
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Some Republicans want to ensure
That all of its members are pure:
Wrong on 3 of 10 planks?
Then it’s “Sorry, no thanks,”
Cuz you’re lacking in wingnut allure.

So how odd that their “God” would not pass
This purity test — what a gas!
Reagan’s record is clear:
He would fail, were he here.
Yet he’s Prez nonpareil, under grass.

Stupak Stupidity

Monday, November 16th, 2009

The Republican National Committee, the wingnutty Focus on the Family, and both groups’ donors are abortion-loving baby killers. Yes, I was shocked too. But it’s true, if you follow the thought process behind the Stupak Amendment to its logical conclusion.

Let me try to explain, even though the effort may make my brain explode. “Money is fungible,” say proponents of the Stupak abortion-coverage ban. And under “Stupak logic,” if your insurance policy doesn’t cover abortions, but your insurer issues abortion coverage to other people, your premiums are part of a pool of baby-killing cash.

This brings us back to the RNC whose health insurance policy, until roughly five minute ago, covered elective abortions and has done so since 1991.

So what inspired the sudden change? The RNC’s hypocritical abortion coverage got some headlines, embarrassing Chairman Michael Steele into sending its carrier an opt-out notice — something the RNC could have done any time during the last eighteen years.

End of story, right? Well, not exactly. Because the RNC hasn’t stopped paying health insurance premiums to Cigna. And Cigna still issues abortion insurance to other organizations. So under “Stupak logic,” the RNC and its donors are still subsidizing abortion and killing those babies.

Shame on the RNC! And shame also on Focus on the Family, which has its own fungible money problem. It’s insured by Principal, yet another abortion-covering carrier.

The RNC and Focus on the Family have earned themselves a limerick, don’t you think?

Stupak Stupidity
By Madeleine Begun Kane

The folks behind Stupak are clear:
All money is fungible. Hear?
So how odd that they chose
To pay money to cos
That finance abortions each year.

Related Post: Stewing Over Stupak

Steeley Plan For Health Care

Tuesday, June 23rd, 2009

Life would be ever so much easier, if only RNC Chairman Michael Steele had Barack Obama’s gig. For instance, we’d be able to solve our health care problems in a nanosecond:

STEELE: So if it’s a cost problem, it’s easy: Get the people in a room who have the most and the most direct impact on cost, and do the deal. Do the deal. It’s not that complicated.

If it’s an access question, people don’t have access to health care, then figure out who they are, and give them access! Hello?! Am I missing something here? …

And so it’s time for yet another Michael Steele limerick:

Steeley Plan For Health Care
By Madeleine Begun Kane

U.S. health reform’s easy, says Steele.
Simply get in a room — do the deal.
Whether access or cost
Is the problem, accost
Those involved, do the deal, and get real.

Steele-Buyers’ Remorse

Wednesday, March 4th, 2009

It seems Republican National Committee members are having second, third, and fourth thoughts about having named Michael Steele to be Chairman of the RNC. And it’s not just his humiliating apology to Rush Limbaugh, his mismanagement of the RNC, and a pair of ethics issues:

In just a month on the job, Steele has insisted that government jobs aren’t real jobs. He’s raised the specter of undermining moderate Republican incumbents. He’s given multiple interviews in which he’s shown humiliating confusion about the basics of public policy. His efforts to make the Republicans “off the hook” and “beyond cutting edge” are already the subject of widespread ridicule. The man, by all appearances, doesn’t have the foggiest idea what he’s doing.

So what’s my take on all this? I think Michael Steele is perfect for the job:

Steele-Buyers’ Remorse (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Are Republicans starting to feel
That they erred when the named Michael Steele
As the RNC head?
(Maybe Limbaugh instead?)
Funny … Dems think that Steele is ideal.

Where’s My Personal Shopper?

Thursday, October 23rd, 2008

After seeing Sarah Palin prance around in so much stylish, pricey-looking apparel, I wrongly assumed Alaska was so sort of fashion Mecca.  But sorry, Alaska.  It turns out that Palin’s $150K wardrobe hails from Saks Fifth Avenue in St. Louis and New York and Neiman Marcus in Minneapolis, all courtesy of the RNC and personal shopper Jeff Larson.

So here’s what I want to know:  Does John McCain’s tax plan provide a $150K tax credit for personal shoppers?

Where’s My Personal Shopper?
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Gov. Palin, you’re taking some heat
For your clothing which, granted, is neat.
But with budgets austere
Why wear clothing so dear?
And just who are you calling elite?