Posts Tagged ‘Government Shutdown’

What Donald Really Wants, What He Really, Really Wants (Limerick)

Wednesday, February 6th, 2019

Trump’s insistence on wall dough is late.
A sincere person never would wait
Till control of the House
Had been lost. Yes this louse
Is a stunt-monger. Don’t take the bait!

The Tease-In-Chief (Limerick)

Saturday, January 19th, 2019

Headline: “Trump says he will make a ‘major’ announcement on Saturday about the border and government shutdown”

Dear Trump, that announcement you’re teasing
Is only of int’rest and pleasing,
If the gov isn’t closed
And you say you’re disposed
To resign. Failing that, halt your wheezing!

Trump Cancels Pelosi War Zone Trip … and the Speaker Responds (Limerick)

Thursday, January 17th, 2019

Headline: “Trump denies Pelosi military aircraft for war zone trip”

Speaker Pelosi’s Limerick Response:

Rumor has it, dear Trump, you were scared
I’d be harmed. “Stop her trip!” you declared.
Using all of your might,
You cancelled my flight.
How sweet! I did NOT know you cared.

If Nancy Pelosi Could Write Limericks

Wednesday, January 16th, 2019

Dear Donald, I see that the state
Of our Union is closed, so the date
That you’re set to appear
In my House (nearly here)
Isn’t great. “Speak” in writing … or wait.

Here’s Nancy’s real letter to Trump.

Trump’s Fake Crisis Diversion (Limerick)

Saturday, January 12th, 2019

Trump keeps tying our nation in knots,
And it’s time to connect all the dots:
He inflicts all this hurt
To distract and divert
Because Putin is calling the shots.

Donald’s Just-Pretend Emergency (Limerick)

Friday, January 11th, 2019

Trump’s attempting a blackmail-insurgency:
“I’ve the right to declare an emergency.
But I WON’T do it yet.
Right now it’s a threat!” …
Which proves that there’s really no urgency.

Limerick Ode To Our So-Called Deal-Maker

Friday, January 11th, 2019

The self-described deal-maker fails
To close deals. Donald’s thwarted? He bails.
Nancy ties him in knots,
And whenever he spots
Her he’ll plotz, as his orange skin pales.

Trump Walled In By Wall Quote (Limerick)

Thursday, January 10th, 2019

It’s hard not to laugh at this quote from Trump’s 2004 Wagner College commencement address, which inspired my limerick:

I’ll tell you, to me, the second-most important thing after love what you do is never, ever give up. Don’t give up. Don’t allow it to happen. If there’s a concrete wall in front of you, go through it. Go over it. Go around it. But get to the other side of that wall.

There’s a wall of concrete? Then go through it;
That’s the way that the Donald once drew it.
Are walls MEANT to be crossed?
Or built at great cost:
My conclusion is Donald Trump blew it.

Trump Storms Out Of His Own Meeting (Limerick)

Wednesday, January 9th, 2019

Headline: “Trump storms out of meeting as shutdown careens toward fourth week”

The Donald stormed out of the meeting
Cuz his wall scheme was taking a beating.
The Speaker was “mean,”
So he vented his spleen
In a petulant act of retreating.

Donald’s Shutdown (Limerick)

Saturday, January 5th, 2019

Headline: “White House Did Not Understand Shutdown Implications”

The Donald did not comprehend
The great damage a shutdown could send.
This is not a surprise;
Trump’s the inverse of wise,
And his couns’lors kiss Donald’s butt end.

Donald’s Blame Game (Limerick)

Sunday, December 30th, 2018

Dear Donald, you’ll need more than luck
With your efforts at passing the buck;
You could crawl on all fours,
But the shutdown blame’s yours:
You’re the schmuck who’s inflicted this muck.

Limerick Ode To Trump’s Shutdown

Saturday, December 22nd, 2018

The shutdown, dear Donald, is yours.
You broke it; you keep it. The doors
Of the gov have been shut
By YOU! Get your butt
Down to Congress. Concede … on all fours.

Mulvaney And Trump Are Quite The Couple (Limerick)

Saturday, December 22nd, 2018

Headline: “Mick Mulvaney in 2015: Trump’s views on border wall ‘simplistic,’ ‘absurd and almost childish’”

Donald’s wall-pledge is clearly “absurd!”
Don’t take it from me; that’s a word
Mick Mulvaney once used
To describe it. Confused?
So’s the staff-chief now leading Trump’s herd.

Our Shocking News (Limerick)

Friday, December 21st, 2018

The news keeps delivering shocks:
There’s a daily new low for our stocks;
James Mattis resigned;
Trump (as usual) whined;
And we seem to be governed by Fox.

There is plenty more bad news to list,
And the thought of it all makes me pissed.
The government’s closed,
And our nation’s been hosed
By a felon. (Well, you get the gist.)

Shutdown Blame Game

Friday, December 21st, 2018

The odds of a shutdown are growing,
And the BS-packed blame-game is flowing.
Blame Pelosi, they blare.
Schumer! Durbin! I swear,
Those Republican noses are growing.

Limerick Ode To Our Goading Victim In Chief

Wednesday, December 12th, 2018

Some claim Donald was goaded by Chuck
Into owning the shutdown. Good luck
With excuses as lame
As THAT. Who’s to blame
For this misstep? It’s President Schmuck.

Trump’s Shutdown (Limerick)

Wednesday, December 12th, 2018

Headline: “Trump: ‘I’m proud to shut down the government’ over border wall”

Over border wall funding, Trump’s “proud
To shut down the government.” Loud
And clear was his statement,
Precluding debatement.
Piggish Donald shall reap what he’s sow’d.

Trump Cavorts On Twitter (Limerick)

Sunday, July 29th, 2018

Trump Tweet: “I would be willing to “shut down” government if the Democrats do not give us the votes for Border Security, which includes the Wall! Must get rid of Lottery, Catch & Release etc. and finally go to system of Immigration based on MERIT! We need great people coming into our Country!”

Watch Donald on Twitter cavort,
As he tortures his party for sport:
Fully fund my great wall
Or I’ll close you down. All
Will go dark. Then I’ll see you in court.

Rand Paul’s Deficit Hypocrisy (Limerick)

Thursday, February 8th, 2018

Paul is feigning a “principled stand”
Against deficits, bolst’ring his brand.
But his vote to cut tax
Helped the deficits wax;
His is really a “Don’t Spend” demand.

Shutdown Deal — Schumer Cave? Or Strategery? (Limerick)

Monday, January 22nd, 2018

A promise from Mitch makes me twitch.
Who would bet against glitches or hitch?
Yes a DACA vote pledge
Is worth caca; a hedge
Could turn Schumer from champ to Mitch-bitch.