Archive for February, 2019

Sundry National Emergency Humor

Tuesday, February 19th, 2019

Donald Trump breaches
separation of powers–
Republicans shrug.

*****

How To Lose A Case:

1. Declare national emergency.

2. Say “I didn’t need to do this,” as your lawyers tear their remaining hair out.

3. Stand by for courts to agree that you, indeed, “didn’t need to do this.”

*****

Unpersuadable,
Impervious to the facts–
That’s Donald Trump’s base.

*****
Today, Lindsey Graham defended Trump’s unconstitutional “national emergency” declaration:

“Let’s just say for a moment that he took some money out of the military construction budget,” Graham said. “I would say it’s better for the middle-school kids in Kentucky to have a secure border. We’ll get them the school they need. But right now we’ve got a national emergency on our hands.

What’s next for Lindsey Graham? Any day now, we just might be hearing this:

“Let’s just say for a moment that the President executed Nancy Pelosi, the person most responsible for blocking his wall.

“Yes, that would be unfortunate. But I would say it’s better for middle-school kids and all Americans to have a secure border. We’ll get them the new House Speaker they need. But right now we’ve got a national emergency on our hands.”

*****

DONALD TRUMP: “We will have a national emergency and we will then be sued and they will sue us in the 9th circuit, even though it shouldn’t be there…”

Hey Donald, if you don’t want cases to go to the 9th Circuit, stop screwing California.

*****

Trump’s Fake Emergency Power Grab (Limerick)

Friday, February 15th, 2019

A fake crisis; Trump seizes more power,
As obsequious ass-kissers cower.
He raids Pentagon cash
And a FEMA funds stash,
And democracy dies by the hour.

Wash Your Hands, For Pete’s Sake! (Limerick)

Monday, February 11th, 2019

BBC News: “Fox News host Pete Hegseth has confessed on air that he has not washed his hands for 10 years because ‘germs are not a real thing'”.

A fellow on Fox, known as Pete,
Says that germs don’t exist. So don’t greet
That odd man. Take a stand;
He won’t wash either hand!
(I’m not sure what he does with his feet.)

For the record, Hegseth now claims he was joking, but just in case…

The GOP Tax Scam (Limerick)

Monday, February 11th, 2019

Headline: “Many Stunned to Get Smaller Tax Refunds”

As our warnings re tax cuts come true,
Donald’s base is beginning to rue
That tax plan they backed.
They were duped. It’s a fact;
Those “big refunds” are NOT coming through.

Trump v. Biden (Limerick)

Wednesday, February 6th, 2019

Trump to anchors, as quoted by the New York Times’ Peter Baker:

When I say something that you might think is a gaffe, it’s on purpose; it’s not a gaffe. When Biden says something dumb, it’s because he’s dumb.

When you think I am making a gaffe,
It’s on purpose to make people laugh.
But Biden is dumb,
Which explains much or some
Of the lame things he says — at least half.

What Donald Really Wants, What He Really, Really Wants (Limerick)

Wednesday, February 6th, 2019

Trump’s insistence on wall dough is late.
A sincere person never would wait
Till control of the House
Had been lost. Yes this louse
Is a stunt-monger. Don’t take the bait!

Don’t Bother Telling Trump Intel (Limerick)

Wednesday, February 6th, 2019

The Donald says “Go back to school!”
To intel chiefs. Trump is a fool,
Who is sure he knows best
And hurls insults with zest,
Along with his drivel and drool.