Archive for January, 2019

Trump’s Bush League Staffers (Limerick)

Monday, January 21st, 2019

Headline: “Christie Says Trump Hired ‘Riffraff’ for Key Posts”

No one wants to join Donald Trump’s staff,
Or work on the Donald’s behalf.
You’d have to be high
To deal with that guy,
So he’s down to the riff and the raff.

The Tease-In-Chief (Limerick)

Saturday, January 19th, 2019

Headline: “Trump says he will make a ‘major’ announcement on Saturday about the border and government shutdown”

Dear Trump, that announcement you’re teasing
Is only of int’rest and pleasing,
If the gov isn’t closed
And you say you’re disposed
To resign. Failing that, halt your wheezing!

Trump Cancels Pelosi War Zone Trip … and the Speaker Responds (Limerick)

Thursday, January 17th, 2019

Headline: “Trump denies Pelosi military aircraft for war zone trip”

Speaker Pelosi’s Limerick Response:

Rumor has it, dear Trump, you were scared
I’d be harmed. “Stop her trip!” you declared.
Using all of your might,
You cancelled my flight.
How sweet! I did NOT know you cared.

GOP Bigotry (Limerick)

Wednesday, January 16th, 2019

Headline: ” Republicans, Racism and Steve King
So now the party abhors bigotry? How convenient.”

The GOP’s making a show
Of loathing King’s racism, though
His behavior’s not new.
Plus they’ve made no ado
About bigoted Trump. He must go!

Putin’s Puppet (Limerick)

Wednesday, January 16th, 2019

Headline: “GOP blocks Senate rebuke of Trump on Russia sanctions”

Undoubtedly Putin is thrilled
By the mayhem he’s wrought; he’s fulfilled
His dream to install
Trump the Puppet, who’ll brawl
And defile, as democracy’s chilled.

If Nancy Pelosi Could Write Limericks

Wednesday, January 16th, 2019

Dear Donald, I see that the state
Of our Union is closed, so the date
That you’re set to appear
In my House (nearly here)
Isn’t great. “Speak” in writing … or wait.

Here’s Nancy’s real letter to Trump.

Trump’s Fake Crisis Diversion (Limerick)

Saturday, January 12th, 2019

Trump keeps tying our nation in knots,
And it’s time to connect all the dots:
He inflicts all this hurt
To distract and divert
Because Putin is calling the shots.

No Means No! (Limerick)

Saturday, January 12th, 2019

Headline: “When Nancy Pelosi Says ‘No’”

When Pelosi says “no,” she means “NO!”
Trump will NOT get his wall-building dough.
Unlike Donald, she’ll walk
The walk and won’t balk.
Nancy’s toughness is true. Trump’s? Just SHOW!

Donald’s Just-Pretend Emergency (Limerick)

Friday, January 11th, 2019

Trump’s attempting a blackmail-insurgency:
“I’ve the right to declare an emergency.
But I WON’T do it yet.
Right now it’s a threat!” …
Which proves that there’s really no urgency.

Limerick Ode To Our So-Called Deal-Maker

Friday, January 11th, 2019

The self-described deal-maker fails
To close deals. Donald’s thwarted? He bails.
Nancy ties him in knots,
And whenever he spots
Her he’ll plotz, as his orange skin pales.

Trump Walled In By Wall Quote (Limerick)

Thursday, January 10th, 2019

It’s hard not to laugh at this quote from Trump’s 2004 Wagner College commencement address, which inspired my limerick:

I’ll tell you, to me, the second-most important thing after love what you do is never, ever give up. Don’t give up. Don’t allow it to happen. If there’s a concrete wall in front of you, go through it. Go over it. Go around it. But get to the other side of that wall.

There’s a wall of concrete? Then go through it;
That’s the way that the Donald once drew it.
Are walls MEANT to be crossed?
Or built at great cost:
My conclusion is Donald Trump blew it.

Trump Storms Out Of His Own Meeting (Limerick)

Wednesday, January 9th, 2019

Headline: “Trump storms out of meeting as shutdown careens toward fourth week”

The Donald stormed out of the meeting
Cuz his wall scheme was taking a beating.
The Speaker was “mean,”
So he vented his spleen
In a petulant act of retreating.

Border Wall Lies

Tuesday, January 8th, 2019

The Donald is planning to go
On the air Tuesday night with a show
Of border wall lies
And emergency cries.
To the networks I plead: “Just Say No!”

Open 3-Verse Limerick To Donald Trump

Sunday, January 6th, 2019

I won’t ask you, dear Trump, not to lie.
You can’t stop, so don’t bother to try.
And nor will I ask
You to do any task
That requires a warm-hearted guy.

And there’s really no need to pretend
That the law isn’t something you bend
To benefit you
And a very small few:
Your children … and maybe a friend.

I won’t EVEN say, Donald don’t whine.
You can’t help it, I know, so that’s fine.
I’ve a single request,
And it isn’t “Be Best.”
I am begging you: Kindly Resign!

Donald’s Shutdown (Limerick)

Saturday, January 5th, 2019

Headline: “White House Did Not Understand Shutdown Implications”

The Donald did not comprehend
The great damage a shutdown could send.
This is not a surprise;
Trump’s the inverse of wise,
And his couns’lors kiss Donald’s butt end.

Donald Begs For A Deal (Limerick)

Tuesday, January 1st, 2019

The Donald begs, “Let’s make a deal?
Via Twitter, he makes that appeal.
You should steel yourself, bro,
Cuz you’re getting no dough
For cement or your slat walls of steel.

Trump Derangement (Limerick)

Tuesday, January 1st, 2019

“Trump Derangement’s” a syndrome some claim
Is a lefty disorder. How lame!
The afflicted are those
Who remain in the throes
Of Trump’s spell and still fall for his game.