Papal choice entails weighty reflection.
Fine contenders may suffer rejection.
But though some may feel sad,
It’s unlikely a cad
Will complain someone stole the election.
Archive for the ‘Religious Satire’ Category
White Smoke (Limerick)
Thursday, May 8th, 2025Trump’s BS Bibles (Limerick)
Wednesday, October 9th, 2024The Donald faults China and trade.
“Huge tariffs,” he cries, “must be paid.”
“They steal jobs from our nation,”
He rants to ovation.
But THAT’s where Trump’s Bibles are made.
No, I am NOT making this up. Here’s a quote from CBS News:
“Thousands of Donald Trump’s “God Bless the USA” Bibles — sold for $59.99 each — were printed in a country that the former president has frequently accused of engaging in unfair trade practices and stealing American jobs: China.”
More Trump Lies (Limerick)
Wednesday, July 31st, 2024ABC News Headline: “Donald Trump says Kamala Harris, who’s married to a Jewish man, ‘doesn’t like Jewish people'”
Don-OLD falsely asserts that our VEEP
“Doesn’t like Jewish people.” That creep
Knows full well Doug (her spouse)
Is a Jew. Trump’s a louse
And a felon. The man’s full of… BLEEP!
Trump’s “Pious” Supporters (Limerick)
Friday, March 29th, 2024There’s no law fraudster Trump’s loath to flout!
And yet people who claim they’re devout,
Keep supporting the grifter,
That sleazy shape-shifter.
Surely Trump ain’t what “God” is about!
Boebert’s Juicy Display (Limerick)
Sunday, September 24th, 2023By now, you’ve surely heard about Lauren Boebert’s Beetlejuice “performance.” Here’s an entertaining column about Boebert somehow managing to outdo herself in the indecency department.
And here’s my latest limerick:
“Pious” Boebert’s well-known for her rudeness,
Even crudeness (though surely not shrewdness.)
Her vulgar display
At a play made my day:
An infamous “born-again” lewdness.
Covid’s A “Blessing From God?” (Limerick)
Thursday, October 8th, 2020Headline: “Trump Calls His Illness ‘a Blessing From God’”
Getting Covid’s a “Blessing From God?”
Methinks that Trump’s reasoning’s flawed.
Donald’s just-pretend piety
Merits dubiety.
As with most things, re God Trump’s a fraud.
Pious Donald (Limerick)
Sunday, August 30th, 2020Dear Donald, it’s Sunday today.
How was church? Did you mask-lessly pray?
Oh that’s right — church is just
A photo-op must.
“We want GOD!”? A fake-pious display.
“Pious” Trump (Limerick)
Sunday, August 23rd, 2020Trump Tweet: “Happy Sunday! We want GOD!”
“Happy Sunday!” tweets Trump. “We want GOD!”
As a “GOD”-lover, Trump is a fraud.
Not an ounce of remorse!
And he’s golfing, of course.
(Hoping “GOD” will appear and applaud?)
Golfer-In-Chief (Limerick)
Sunday, May 24th, 2020“Pious” Trump, did you worship today?
Cuz you surely seemed busy at play
At a golf course you own.
Yet we heard you intone
“OPEN CHURCH!” edicts. (Too swamped to pray?)
Trump’s “Pious” Edict (Limerick)
Friday, May 22nd, 2020Headline: “Trump slams governors, demands they open houses of worship ‘right now’”
“You must open the churches right now!”
Ordered Trump, as if Donald somehow
Had the right to enforce
Such an edict. Of course
To his base, Trump’s a great sacred cow.
Limerick Ode To Roy Moore Sycophant, Pastor Flip Benham
Tuesday, November 21st, 2017Headline: “Pastor Says Moore Dated Teenagers for Their ‘Purity’”
A flip pastor says Moore dated teens
For their “purity.” I don’t know beans
About biblical teaching,
But what sort of preaching
Overlooks what indecency means?
On The Other (Very Tiny) Hand (Limerick)
Wednesday, May 17th, 2017At the risk of appearing too dense,
I must ask if it makes any sense
To impeach Donald Trump,
If success means we’d jump
To a Theocrat President Pence.
Words Matter (Limerick)
Thursday, March 16th, 2017Donald Trump’s been rebuked once again:
For the second time in two months, two federal judges on Wednesday refused to allow President Trump to impose a travel ban, citing his campaign rhetoric as evidence of an improper desire to prevent Muslims from entering the United States.
Remember when GOP chatter
Taunted Dems with the sentence: “Words matter!”?
Yet it’s rare that they balk
At the Donald’s loose talk…
Which has flattened his bans with a clatter.
Trump’s Tweet-Monitors Won’t Let Him Post This Limerick
Wednesday, February 1st, 2017There is NO Muslim ban, and Dem tears
Are fake and deserve all our sneers!
And how dare they deplore such
A great guy as Gorsuch!
If they block him, I’ll nuke their careers!
Trump Joins The Make-Believe War On Christians (Limerick)
Monday, January 18th, 2016Trump BS of the Day:
“Trump calls for Christian unity at Liberty U.
‘Other religions, frankly, they’re banding together,’ he says. ‘We have to unify.'”
Trump panders at Liberty U,
Says what “under siege” Christians should do:
“Band together” like other
Religions. Oh brother!
Trump just loves spewing statements untrue.
Open Limerick To “Licensing Clerks” Offended By Gay Marriage
Tuesday, June 30th, 2015Open Limerick To “Licensing Clerks” Offended By Gay Marriage
By Madeleine Begun Kane
You’re a county employee devout?
There’s a law your religion says, “Flout?”
Well, a licensing clerk
Just can’t shirk certain work.
License gay folks to wed … or get out!
Santorum’s Stupidity of Biblical Proportions (Limerick)
Wednesday, March 18th, 2015For a lawyer, Rick Santorum seems clueless about the U.S. Constitution.
Rick Santorum proclaims, “Yes we can,”
Force his bible on schools — that’s his plan.
Rick forgets the Supremes
8 to 1 banned such schemes…
Else the gov could impose the Koran.
Limerick Ode To Pat Robertson, Marriage Counselor
Thursday, May 16th, 2013Pat Robertson can always be counted on to say weird things and give bad advice. Yesterday’s “700 Club” TV broadcast was no exception.
In response to a spurned wife’s question, Robertson essentially said that a man strays because he’s a man. And that instead of focusing on spousal cheating, a wife should make the house so enticing that her husband doesn’t want to stray.
Pat counsels spurned wives to appreciate the positive:
“Does he provide a home for you to live in,” Robertson said. ‘Does he provide food for you to eat? Does he provide clothes for you to wear? Is he nice to the children… Is he handsome?”
Limerick Ode To Pat Robertson, Marriage Counselor
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Dear gals, if your husband has strayed,
There’s no need to feel mad and betrayed:
Be grateful instead
That he pays for your bed.
That’s Pat Robertson’s notion of aid.
Tithing-Schmithing
Thursday, July 19th, 2012Let me confess up front that tithing big bucks to your church or synagogue doesn’t impress me … and not just because I’m an agnostic. In my opinion, generosity to one’s religious peer group often tends to be self-aggrandizing: “Hey, look at me — I’m a big church-macher!”
Now give the same amount of money to a food or health charity or a symphony or art museum, for instance — one that you’re not directly affiliated with — that, to me, is generous.
And this isn’t my only problem with Ann Romney’s defense of hubby Mitt’s tax return secrecy. Here’s what she said to Robin Roberts in an ABC Good Morning America interview:
He’s a very generous person. We give 10 percent of our income to our church every year. Do you think that is the kind of person who is trying to hide things, or do things?…
We’ve given all you people need to know…
In other words, if “you people” could see Mitt’s secret tax returns, “you people” would know there’s no need for “you people” to see them.
Tithing-Schmithing (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Just what is Mitt trying to hide?
In secrecy, Romney takes pride.
How ironic and blithe:
We should trust him; his tithe
Means he’s good — so decreeth his bride.
*****
Four years ago, Mitt Romney gave John McCain a slew of tax returns, hoping to become McCain’s running mate. McCain didn’t pick him, but now says Romney’s tax returns weren’t a problem; Sarah Palin was simply a “better candidate.”
Obama’s thank you note’s in the mail.
