Posts Tagged ‘Abortion Rights’
Friday, June 28th, 2013
Ohio State Sen. Nina Turner’s proposed bill regulating men’s reproductive health inspired this multi-verse limerick:
A Modest Men’s Reproductive Health Reg Proposal (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Dear Republican men who insist
On controlling gals’ bodies, we’re pissed.
Since what’s good for the goose
(It’s plain to deduce)
Suits the gander, I’ve drawn up this list:
Viagra henceforth is restricted
To those who can prove they’re afflicted
Via sex partner swearing
You’re impotent, sharing
Your plight through oath uncontradicted.
You must also sex therapy seek
To help you reach sexual peak.
And we’ll force you to take
A stress test, you rake,
And prove that your heart isn’t weak.
In addition, your doc must advise you
About celibacy and apprise you
It’s a “viable choice.”
Yes your doc must give voice
To your options, cuz some may surprise you.
Only then, will the state let your doc
Prescribe any meds for your cock.
After counsel advising
Of side effects rising
From ED pills — nothing to mock.
From then on, you’ll be monitored too
To make sure that your heart ain’t askew.
You’ll be checked and re-tested.
The state is invested
In protecting you guys when you screw.
If you think that such regs are intrusive,
Insulting, and even abusive,
All these rules don’t compare
To what women must bear:
Female freedom is gravely elusive.
Tags: Abortion Rights, Birth Control Limerick, ED, Erectile Dysfunction, Feminism, Feminist Limerick, Gender Humor, Gender Inequality, GOP Humor, Health Satire, Impotence Humor, Legislation Humor, Men's Health, Nina Turner, Ohio, Reproductive Health Humor, Reproductive Rights, Republicans Humor, Viagra Humor, Women's Health
Posted in Abortion Rights, Birth Control Humor, Constitution Humor, Feminism Humor, Gender Politics, GOP Humor, Health Satire, Legislation Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, Wingnuts | 19 Comments »
Wednesday, March 20th, 2013
Rachel Maddow has temporarily sworn off speculating about Election 2016. But fortunately (or unfortunately) I’ve taken no such pledge:
Appalling Speculation (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
The Republican race in ’16
Could be Ryan v. Rand — what a scene!
Two Pauls in one bout –
Mass confusion, no doubt.
Neither one’s worth so much as a Bean.*
*Paul Ryan’s anti-abortion rhetoric included a claim that he nicknamed his daughter Liza “Bean” because at seven weeks his “little baby was in the shape of a bean.” Ryan has been accused of stealing this anecdote from the late Nirvana frontman, Kurt Cobain.
Tags: Abortion Rights, Anti-Abortion Rhetoric, Bean, Election 2016, Kurt Cobain, Nirvana, Paul Ryan, Presidential Election, Rachel Maddow, Rand Paul
Posted in Abortion Rights, Election Satire, GOP Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor | 2 Comments »
Friday, February 8th, 2013
Here’s a headline I could have done without: “Bill would define abortion as murder.”
State Rep. Rob Bacon believes abortion is murder and he wants the Iowa Code to reflect that.
Bacon, R-Slater, and eight other Republicans introduced such a bill in the Iowa House Wednesday. It would alter the definition of a person in murder cases to “an individual human being, without regard to age of development, from the moment of conception, when a zygote is formed, until natural death.”
Those charged with murder, under the bill, would include a mother who takes abortion-inducing drugs or a doctor who performs an abortion. It also grants no exceptions for rape, incest or to protect the life of the mother.
Bacon’s Crusade Ain’t Kosher (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
If an Iowa Rep has his way
Women’s rights will yet further decay.
Zygote-rights will be greater
Than gals’, as pols cater
To nuts. Will he fail? Let us pray.
Tags: Abortion Rights, Fanatics Humor, Feminist Limerick, Iowa, Murder Definition, Rob Bacon, Zygote-Rights
Posted in Abortion Rights, Filibuster Humor, GOP Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, Wingnuts, Women's Rights | Comments Off
Friday, November 23rd, 2012
This Republican behavior is so crazy, I almost couldn’t write a limerick about it.
Republican lawmakers in Michigan, a state which eliminated tax credits for children last year, have proposed a tax credit for unborn foetuses of 12 weeks gestation…
Critics said the proposal was “absurd” and described it as a backdoor way of trying to pass “personhood” legislation which would give rights to an embryo and crack down on abortion.
The irony-impaired Rep. Jud Gilbert, R-Algonac said:
“You’re recognizing the fact that people have additional expenses, another person to take care of.”
Michigan’s Fetal Shenanigans (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A Republican law now forbids
Tax credits for Michigan kids,
But those same pols want credits
For fetuses. Bet it’s
A product of brains on the skids.
Tags: Abortion Rights, Fetal Right, Fetus Rights, Fiscal Humor, Jud Gilbert, Michigan, Personhood Humor, Republicans Humor, Tax Credit, Tax Humor
Posted in Abortion Rights, Birth Control Humor, Fiscal Policy, GOP Humor, Michigan Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, Tax & Budget Humor | 4 Comments »
Thursday, October 25th, 2012
Every time I think Republicans couldn’t possibly get crazier or more extreme about banning abortion, someone like Indiana’s Richard Mourdoch proves me wrong.
By now, the would-be senator’s bizarre comments about abortion and rape, and his non-apology apology are all too familiar. So is the fact that Romney has refused to withdraw his endorsement and his pro-Mourdoch ad.
So I’ll simply leave you with this serious limerick:
Limerick Ode To Richard Mourdoch
By Madeleine Begun Kane
By Mourdoch, I’m shocked — left agape:
He claims if you’re pregnant from rape,
It’s a God-given gift.
So how dare you be miffed!
Your future’s not yours to reshape.
Tags: Abortion Rights, Extremist Candidates, Feminist Limerick, God, Indiana, Rape Victims, Religion In Politics, Republicans Humor, Richard Mourdoch, U.S. Senate
Posted in Abortion Rights, Campaign Humor, Election Satire, Feminism Humor, GOP Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, Senate Satire | 4 Comments »
Wednesday, October 10th, 2012
Once Mitt Romney clinched the Republican presidential nomination, and Republicans were stuck with him, Mitt adopted a rather slick trick: When coverage is at its maximum (on TV, in front of large crowds, and in major newspaper interviews) he feigns moderate or centrist positions, only to have staffers take them back the next day.
Romney exploited that ploy during last week’s Obama v. Romney debate. And he did it again just yesterday, telling The Des Moines Register’s editorial board that “no abortion legislation is part of his agenda.”
Of course, Romney’s staff comforted his rightwing base the next day:
Spokeswoman Andrea Saul later walked back the comment telling the National Review that Romney “would of course support legislation aimed at providing greater protections for life.”
Rather clever (and sneaky) isn’t it? Maximize the audience for your just-pretend moderate views and minimize the audience for your genuine extremist positions.
Romney’s Political Hack Trick (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Mitt’s slick and unusual tack
Proves the man’s a political hack.
He feigns moderate views
Where he’ll get the most news.
Then staff quietly walks it all back.
Tags: Abortion Rights, Andrea Saul, Barack Obama, Campaign Humor, Debate Humor, Des Moines Register, Election Satire, Extremist Candidates, Iowa, Legislation Satire, Mitt Romney, National Review, Political Hacks, Republican Hypocrisy, Republicans Humor
Posted in Abortion Rights, Barack Obama, Campaign Humor, Election Satire, GOP Humor, Hypocrisy Humor, Mitt Romney Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, White House | 2 Comments »
Wednesday, October 10th, 2012
Alpha-Political Verse (Election 2012)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A is for abortions, which Mitt Romney vows to ban.
B is for the Birthers. Gov’nor Romney’s quite the fan.
C’s for the contempt Mitt feels for folks who aren’t rich.
D is for a sham debate — Mitt’s pseudo-moderate switch.
E’s evolving policies Mitt seem to change each day.
F is for those pesky facts. For Mitt they don’t hold sway.
G’s for global warming. Mitt no longer thinks it’s real.
H is homophobia. Gay marriage he’d repeal.
I’s for immigration. Self-deporting! What a plan!
J’s for rightwing judges. Justice Roberts is Mitt’s man.
K is for the Koch Bros. Mr. Romney’s in their debt.
L’s for all the lies Mitt tells. The truth to Mitt’s a threat.
M’s Medicare and Medicaid. Mitt screws the old and poor.
N’s for Romney’s negative campaign, fact-challenged to its core.
O’s for Mitt’s Olympics and the bailout Mitt secured.
P is for Paul Ryan’s plan. Mitt’s keeping it obscured.
Q’s for follow-up questions. Journos find them such a bore.
R’s for regulations. Mitt is anti … also for.
S is Social Security — Mitt pretends he wants to save.
T is tax cuts for the rich, which Romney donors crave.
U’s the unemployment that Mitt Romney helped create.
V is all those varmints Romney killed … and maybe ate.
W’s for lots of foreign wars. Mitt’s spoiling for a fight.
X is for your ballot mark. Be sure to do it right.
Y’s for “Yes, we can” make sure the President prevails.
And Z’s for right-wing zealots. I look forward to their wails.
(You can find my previous alpha-political verse here,
here, here, and here.)
Tags: Abortion Rights, Ballots, Barack Obama, Birthers, Campaign Humor, Debate Humor, Election Satire, Gay Rights, Global Warming, Homophobes, Immigration Humor, Journalists, Judiciary Satire, Justice John Roberts, Koch Brothers, Medicaid, Medicare, Mitt Romney, Regulations, Self-Deportation, Social Security, Supreme Court Humor, Tax Cuts, Unemployment, War, War On Voting, Wingnuts
Posted in Abortion Rights, Barack Obama, Birther Humor, Campaign Humor, Election Satire, Fiscal Policy, Global Warming, GOP Humor, Judiciary Satire, Medicare Humor, Mitt Romney Humor, National Security Humor, Political Commentary, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, Supreme Court, Tax & Budget Humor, White House, Wingnuts | 6 Comments »
Tuesday, August 21st, 2012
Dear Republicans: If your Platform Committee is going to endorse an “abortion plank that includes no exemptions for rape, incest or even to save the life of the mother,” why bother condemning Todd Akin’s outrageous rape comments?
Were you hoping we wouldn’t notice that your platform is just as misogynous as the guy you’re condemning?
Platitudes And Platforms (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
The GOP Platform Committee
Re abortion is lacking in pity
For victims of rape
And of incest: They ape
Akin’s attitude: Irony city!
Tags: Abortion Rights, Feminism Humor, Feminist Limerick, Incest Victims, Missouri, Platform Committee, Rape Victims, Republican Platform Humor, Republicans Humor, Todd Akin
Posted in Abortion Rights, Campaign Humor, Election Satire, Feminism Humor, GOP Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor | 8 Comments »
Friday, June 15th, 2012
Michigan Republican pols apparently have very delicate ears:
Two state representatives in Michigan were barred from speaking on the floor of the legislature in Lansing Thursday after colleagues deemed their language “failed to maintain the decorum” of the legislative body.
State Reps. State Reps. Lisa Brown and Barb Byrum, both Democrats, were arguing against proposed legislation that would enact new restrictions on abortions in Michigan, including provisions for new insurance requirements for abortion providers.
Brown ended her floor speech by declaring: “”I’m flattered that you are all so interested in my vagina, but no means no.”
Republicans To Women: No Vagina Dialogues!
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Republicans love to pass laws
That restrict female parts, without pause.
But just utter “vagina”—
They’ll ship you to China.
Censor gals in all ways — that’s their cause.
Tags: Abortion Rights, Censorship Humor, Feminism Humor, Michigan, Reproductive Rights, Republican Hypocrisy, Vagina Satire
Posted in Abortion Rights, Censorship Satire, Feminism Humor, GOP Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor | 7 Comments »
Tuesday, February 7th, 2012
Karen Handel has resigned from the Susan G. Komen for the Cure breast-cancer charity. And Handel, a major architect of Komen’s stop-funding-Planned-Parenthood PR disaster, didn’t go sotto voce:
Karen Handel’s Dissonant Departure From Komen (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Sweet music — Ms. Handel’s resigned,
While wailing that SHE’s been maligned:
Blaming HER’s prejudicial,
The ousted official
Complained, leaving bedlam behind.
Tags: Abortion Rights, Breast Cancer, Charity Satire, Family Planning, Health Humor, Karen Handel, Planned Parenthood, Republicans Humor, Resignation, Susan G Komen, Women's Health
Posted in Abortion Rights, Family Values Humor, Feminism Humor, Gender Politics, Health Satire, Political Limericks, Wingnuts | Comments Off
Wednesday, August 3rd, 2011
I’m constantly running into Tenth Amendment states’ rights hypocrisy, most often concerning abortion rights and same sex marriage. Texas Governor Rick Perry is but the latest example: He’s now calling for a constitutional amendment banning same-sex marriage and abortion.
Limerick Ode To 10th Amendment Hypocrisy
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Gov. Perry’s a fan of states’ rights:
10th amendment — he loves its delights.
But gay marriage? Abortion?
Please brace for contortion:
He’d smite them through federal fights.
Tags: Abortion Rights, Constitution Verse, Gay Marriage, Presidential Campaign Humor, Rick Perry, Same Sex Marriage, States Rights, Texas Humor, U.S. Constitution
Posted in Abortion Rights, Constitution Humor, Election Satire, Gay Rights, Hypocrisy Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, Rick Perry, Texas Humor, Wingnuts | 3 Comments »
Tuesday, May 31st, 2011
I never thought I’d say this, but spam can be enlightening.
I’m referring to a recent spam flurry promoting home abortion kits. And we have Republicans to thank for this disturbing trend. After all, newly empowered Republicans have been targeting abortion rights in a big way. And at the state level they’ve been very successful at severely limiting women’s reproductive rights.
Who knew that when Republicans claimed to be pro-small business, they were talking about abortion kit scam artists?
That brings me to my latest limerick:
This Spam’s An Abortion
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A new (to me) flavor of scam
Came by email for gals in a jam.
Yes, a legal cascade
Against Roe versus Wade
Has inspired abortion kit spam.
Tags: Abortion Rights, Comment Spam, Family Planning, Feminism Humor, Feminist Limerick, Gender Humor, Home Abortion Kits, Legal Satire, Legislation Humor, Reproductive Rights, Republicans Humor, Roe v. Wade
Posted in Abortion Rights, Family Values Humor, Feminism Humor, Gender Politics, Law Satire, Legal Limericks, Legislation Humor, Political Limericks, Republicans Humor, Wingnuts | 10 Comments »
Monday, November 16th, 2009
The Republican National Committee, the wingnutty Focus on the Family, and both groups’ donors are abortion-loving baby killers. Yes, I was shocked too. But it’s true, if you follow the thought process behind the Stupak Amendment to its logical conclusion.
Let me try to explain, even though the effort may make my brain explode. “Money is fungible,” say proponents of the Stupak abortion-coverage ban. And under “Stupak logic,” if your insurance policy doesn’t cover abortions, but your insurer issues abortion coverage to other people, your premiums are part of a pool of baby-killing cash.
This brings us back to the RNC whose health insurance policy, until roughly five minute ago, covered elective abortions and has done so since 1991.
So what inspired the sudden change? The RNC’s hypocritical abortion coverage got some headlines, embarrassing Chairman Michael Steele into sending its carrier an opt-out notice — something the RNC could have done any time during the last eighteen years.
End of story, right? Well, not exactly. Because the RNC hasn’t stopped paying health insurance premiums to Cigna. And Cigna still issues abortion insurance to other organizations. So under “Stupak logic,” the RNC and its donors are still subsidizing abortion and killing those babies.
Shame on the RNC! And shame also on Focus on the Family, which has its own fungible money problem. It’s insured by Principal, yet another abortion-covering carrier.
The RNC and Focus on the Family have earned themselves a limerick, don’t you think?
Stupak Stupidity
By Madeleine Begun Kane
The folks behind Stupak are clear:
All money is fungible. Hear?
So how odd that they chose
To pay money to cos
That finance abortions each year.
Related Post: Stewing Over Stupak
Tags: Abortion Coverage, Abortion Rights, Cigna, Focus On The Family, Fungible Money, Health Reform, Insurance Reform, Michael Steele, Principal, RNC, Stupak Amendment
Posted in Abortion Rights, Bart Stupak, Congress Humor, Health Satire, House Satire, Insurance Humor, Michael Steele, Political Commentary, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, RNC Humor, Wingnuts | 1 Comment »
Tuesday, August 11th, 2009
Steve Benen points out the contrast between the coverage of two abortion-related polls:
In mid-May, Gallup released a poll that found 51% of Americans calling themselves “pro-life” and 42% “pro-choice.” It was the first time a majority of U.S. adults had identified themselves as pro-life since Gallup began asking the question. Last week, however, Gallup released a follow-up poll showing the pro-life lead evaporating, dropping from nine points to one, 47% to 46%.
The first poll got tons of coverage, while the second was largely ignored:
So, to review, Gallup results showing strong “pro-life” numbers are a huge story, even though the results were dubious. Gallup results showing weaker “pro-life” numbers are a non-story, even though the results made sense.
And that brings me to my latest limerick:
Our Liberal Media
By Madeleine Begun Kane
The pro-lifer numbers are higher
Touted journos, their keyboards afire.
So why don’t they mention
The numbers’ descension?
So much for our liberal choir.
Tags: Abortion Rights, Feminism, Feminist Limerick, Gallup Polls, Liberal Media, Media Humor, Pro-Choice, Pro-Life, Steve Benen
Posted in Feminism Humor, Gender Politics, Media Satire, Political Commentary, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Polls | Comments Off
Alpha-Political Verse (Election 2012)
Wednesday, October 10th, 2012Alpha-Political Verse (Election 2012)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A is for abortions, which Mitt Romney vows to ban.
B is for the Birthers. Gov’nor Romney’s quite the fan.
C’s for the contempt Mitt feels for folks who aren’t rich.
D is for a sham debate — Mitt’s pseudo-moderate switch.
E’s evolving policies Mitt seem to change each day.
F is for those pesky facts. For Mitt they don’t hold sway.
G’s for global warming. Mitt no longer thinks it’s real.
H is homophobia. Gay marriage he’d repeal.
I’s for immigration. Self-deporting! What a plan!
J’s for rightwing judges. Justice Roberts is Mitt’s man.
K is for the Koch Bros. Mr. Romney’s in their debt.
L’s for all the lies Mitt tells. The truth to Mitt’s a threat.
M’s Medicare and Medicaid. Mitt screws the old and poor.
N’s for Romney’s negative campaign, fact-challenged to its core.
O’s for Mitt’s Olympics and the bailout Mitt secured.
P is for Paul Ryan’s plan. Mitt’s keeping it obscured.
Q’s for follow-up questions. Journos find them such a bore.
R’s for regulations. Mitt is anti … also for.
S is Social Security — Mitt pretends he wants to save.
T is tax cuts for the rich, which Romney donors crave.
U’s the unemployment that Mitt Romney helped create.
V is all those varmints Romney killed … and maybe ate.
W’s for lots of foreign wars. Mitt’s spoiling for a fight.
X is for your ballot mark. Be sure to do it right.
Y’s for “Yes, we can” make sure the President prevails.
And Z’s for right-wing zealots. I look forward to their wails.
(You can find my previous alpha-political verse here,
here, here, and here.)
Tags: Abortion Rights, Ballots, Barack Obama, Birthers, Campaign Humor, Debate Humor, Election Satire, Gay Rights, Global Warming, Homophobes, Immigration Humor, Journalists, Judiciary Satire, Justice John Roberts, Koch Brothers, Medicaid, Medicare, Mitt Romney, Regulations, Self-Deportation, Social Security, Supreme Court Humor, Tax Cuts, Unemployment, War, War On Voting, Wingnuts
Posted in Abortion Rights, Barack Obama, Birther Humor, Campaign Humor, Election Satire, Fiscal Policy, Global Warming, GOP Humor, Judiciary Satire, Medicare Humor, Mitt Romney Humor, National Security Humor, Political Commentary, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, Supreme Court, Tax & Budget Humor, White House, Wingnuts | 6 Comments »