Posts Tagged ‘Ohio’

A Modest Men’s Reproductive Health Reg Proposal (Limerick)

Friday, June 28th, 2013

Ohio State Sen. Nina Turner’s proposed bill regulating men’s reproductive health inspired this multi-verse limerick:

A Modest Men’s Reproductive Health Reg Proposal (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Dear Republican men who insist
On controlling gals’ bodies, we’re pissed.
Since what’s good for the goose
(It’s plain to deduce)
Suits the gander, I’ve drawn up this list:

Viagra henceforth is restricted
To those who can prove they’re afflicted
Via sex partner swearing
You’re impotent, sharing
Your plight through oath uncontradicted.

You must also sex therapy seek
To help you reach sexual peak.
And we’ll force you to take
A stress test, you rake,
And prove that your heart isn’t weak.

In addition, your doc must advise you
About celibacy and apprise you
It’s a “viable choice.”
Yes your doc must give voice
To your options, cuz some may surprise you.

Only then, will the state let your doc
Prescribe any meds for your cock.
After counsel advising
Of side effects rising
From ED pills — nothing to mock.

From then on, you’ll be monitored too
To make sure that your heart ain’t askew.
You’ll be checked and re-tested.
The state is invested
In protecting you guys when you screw.

If you think that such regs are intrusive,
Insulting, and even abusive,
All these rules don’t compare
To what women must bear:
Female freedom is gravely elusive.

Romney’s Lies Are Jeep (Limerick)

Tuesday, October 30th, 2012

Mitt Romney keeps repeating a claim that he knows to be false: Both in speeches and ads, he asserts that Chrysler’s moving all Jeep production to China. In truth, Chrysler’s adding 2200 Jeep employees in Toledo, Ohio and Detroit, Michigan.

But what’s a little thing like the truth, when you’re trying to deceive your way into the White House?

Romney’s Lies Are Jeep (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Romney’s China-Jeep ad is a lie.
Yet he keeps doubling down on it. Why?
Cuz he’s paid little price
For his lies. That device
Gets him votes. Bid democracy “Bye!”

Ryan’s Soup Kitchen Visit Doesn’t Wash (Limerick)

Tuesday, October 16th, 2012

The aptly-initialed Paul Ryan pulled quite the PR stunt last week. Did you catch the video of Ryan’s uninvited Ohio soup kitchen visit, and watch him “scrub” an already clean pot?

The head of a northeast Ohio charity says that the Romney campaign last week “ramrodded their way” into the group’s Youngstown soup kitchen so that GOP vice presidential candidate Paul Ryan could get his picture taken washing dishes in the dining hall.

“We’re a faith-based organization; we are apolitical because the majority of our funding is from private donations,” Antal said in a phone interview Monday afternoon. “It’s strictly in our bylaws not to do it. They showed up there, and they did not have permission. They got one of the volunteers to open up the doors.”

He added: “The photo-op they did wasn’t even accurate. He did nothing. He just came in here to get his picture taken at the dining hall.”

Ryan’s Soup Kitchen Visit Doesn’t Wash (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Paul Ryan expects us to cheer:
He’s a soup kitchen fake volunteer!
Watch him scrub a clean pot
In his sham, cooked up spot,
As he schemes to make OUR lives austere.

Limerick Ode To Bernie Sanders

Friday, December 10th, 2010

As you know, most of my limericks mock politicians or the media. But today’s verse is in honor of the great Sen. Bernie Sanders (I-Vt.) The stand he took today in his Senate filibuster of Obama’s tax deal with the Republicans was wonderful to behold:

Limerick Ode To Bernie Sanders
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Bravo for our hero, dear Bernie.
He’s engaged in a praise-worthy tourney.
He honors the floor—
Shows he’s great to his core.
Wish more Democrats joined in his journey.

(Thanks also to the two Democratic senators who joined him: Sherrod Brown of Ohio and Mary Landrieu of Louisiana.)

Et Tu, Dennis?

Wednesday, March 17th, 2010

Big news on the health reform front: Dennis Kucinich caved. “Something is better than nothing,” the Ohio Congressman explained.

I’m not at all sure I buy the half a loaf theory because I have zero faith in Obama and his fellow Dems. I just don’t believe Democrats will ever manage to improve their health reform recipe.

Et Tu, Dennis? (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Obama takes lib’rals for granted,
And with Dennis’s “no” vote recanted,
It appears that he’s right:
Lib’ral pols have no fight!
Count this lib’ral as quite disenchanted.

Related Post: Dear Obama, Enough With The Voltaire!

I proud to say that this post is mentioned in the excellent
Health Wonk Review: Special Edition On Health Reform.